New grandchild

Nice to hear how yours are doing too, Carol.

Good news that things are progressing Speldnan. What a shame your daughter has to travel by taxi to visit - does the hospital have a league of friends who could offer to help with lifts for the cost of petrol - there are good compassionate reasons, and she must surely be high priority. The social worker at the hospital could give advice.

My daughter's twin babies had to reach 1500 grams, be feeding sufficiently to show consistent weight gain, maintain their body temperature in the normal baby cot, and have saturation levels of oxygen in their blood that did not dip below 92 when they were feeding, which demonstrates they are swallowing and breathing well, before they were discharged. The community prem midwife then started visiting and will stay with the family till the babies reach 6lbs.

We found that one of the twins does not feed as well since having the naso-gastric tube in for longer, and she needs preemie teats that are softer and more controllable. The hospital have these, so they are worth taking home just in case, otherwise they can be slow to gain weight.

Hope we hear more about how they are doing x

just noticed all the typos-sorry!

thanks everyone for the congratulations and encouragement. My daughter recovered of course and is successfully feeding her son and expressing milk for his feeds when she is not there. She is a devoted mum though it is very hard for her and her partner as they have no car and have to either travel an hour on public transport to the hospital every day or pay £30 a day for taxis (my daughter is still to weak to go on PT so taxi it is!)
The nurses in the SCBU are very good with the babies although draconian about visitors! my parents would like to see their great grandson but even though I am the only grandparent visiting they say they my parents cannot see the baby! my mother has written to the trust to complain!
The baby is doing well-regaining his birthweight and just today had his nasogastic tube out in favour of breast and bottle! real progress and I hated the tube as it must have been uncomfortable for him. No real idea when he can go home but he has to put on 180 gms first.
Hope all the new grandchildren are doing well.

speldnan It was the same with my daughter. Tobi was in the neonatal unit and one of midwives said to my daughter than someone could come along and help her express her milk. Three hours we were still waiting. We were told that they were changing shifts and another midwife was pointed out to be the one taking over. When I went over to her to ask about help she said she wasn't working on this ward!! They they said they couldn't find her notes. So - pushy mother that I am - I went in search of a friendly midwife. She found the notes and came and helped my daughter and stayed with her for a while. We know they are overworked but sometimes I felt they needed more organisation. Rather like builders, they would start doing some with one patient, get sidetracked and go off and do something else, completely forgetting the first patient! The difference when she moved into a private room for two nights was unbelievable. I think that saved her sanity. The nurse and midwives in the neonatal unit were wonderful. Practically one to one! The private room cost more than a 5 star hotel in London but they are hoping to get a contribution from BUPA!

Congrats speldnan - maybe not a happy experience, but a happy outcome. From my experience (1st C section an emergency, 2.3 and 4 elective)it took me exactly 8 days (the time we got in hospital in the "good old days") to feel able to "cope". I know C section mums don't get anything like that nowadays, but up to that 8th day I just had to go on taking the paracetamol, then suddenly I realised I could actually move without wincing too much. Going home helped too. So good luck to you all!

Congratulations Speldnan on the birth of your new grandson. I have a seven week old granddaughter born 3½ weeks early. I hope things improve quickly for your daughter.

Congratulations Speldnan

Speldnan you are in good company here, with quite a few new babies and their mums having emergency C sections. Congratulations on the safe arrival of your tiny grandson. I have 9 week old twin grandaughters who were 2 lbs and 2 lbs 10 ozs at birth, but now at home and over 5 lbs. Being a pushy mum does come in handy at times like this - I found myself advocating for my daughter a few times in hospital, suggesting things that the nurses should have already thought of. Very different on the neonatal unit - they were on the ball about everything, thank goodness.

Your daughter should be having effective pain relief and being helped to see her baby whenever she wants to. The only time the neonatal unit will ask her to wait is if the doctor is in the room where your grandson is, so they can discuss interventions and progress with the nurses without being overheard by the parents of other babies. Otherwise, it is 24 hour access for mums and dads.

Ask the nurses for an electronic breast pump for your daughter to have by her bed so she can express her milk for her baby and build up her supply. There should be a collection of pumps, which she can take home too - don't buy one! She can tell the nurses she wants to breast feed and must be told when baby is due a feed so they don't resort to a bottle first, knowing there will be her breast milk on hand if she is not there. If baby isn't suckling just yet, he should be allowed to practise before they top him up with the gastric tube, using mum's breast milk. They will offer to top up with donated breast milk if she hasn't built up sufficient supply, and this is screened and sterilised, so is perfectly safe.

I found it daunting to walk into the baby unit and see babies being x-rayed, scanned and tested in all sorts of ways, but this is routine and babies need as much contact with mum as possible, even if she is taken there in a wheelchair. Let us know how she's getting on, won't you?

Congratulations Speldnan to you and your daughter. Emergency procedures are traumatic and it is dreadful that you have to demand what should be readily available in the way of care

Congratulations Speldnan on your new year surprise,and I hope your dd starts to feel better soon.
How dreadful that they are neglecting your dd, and how lucky that she has a caring mum like you to get them moving!
It's a disgrace that the nhs is in such a mess.

Congratulations janthea-my daughter gave birth to a baby boy on New Years Eve-a month early and by c section. Saw him for the first time today in his incubator-poor little boy! he is so tiny (less than 4 lbs) but perfect and doing well!
Not so his mother who had to have and emergency op which traumatised her. She is now in agony and unable to visit her baby when ever she wants to. Although I wanted a grandson I sometimes wish my daughter had never got pregnant! she has had a lot of trouble through the pregnancy and things are still not right. It broke my heart to see her today upset and in pain, not able to feed or even hold her baby whenever she wants and in too much pain to ask for what she wants.
That is until pushy mum demanded care for her from the nurses who seemed pretty lax-she was left in pain, not showered, not told what was happening with her baby, not advised on stimulating her breasts for feeding, not seen her baby that day. They all jumped when I demanded all this but why should I have to ask? even if short staffed it is appalling that my daughter was not given the attention she needed until I asked them for it!
Shall be back tomorrow and hope to see improvements all round!
Anyone else had any similar experiences? How soon should my daughter expect to be a bit feeling less pain?

carol My thoughts exactly. He lost a lost of weight with the first week's problems and has some catching up to do so he won't regain his birth weight that quickly. His sister took 4 weeks to regain her and she also had jaundice. He definitely getting enough milk. When he comes off the breast his little mouth is full of milk. He doesn't wail with frustration or hunger. He suffers with a little wind, but that's a different cry.

Janthea my daughter has made the same comment about her midwife - that she has a list of targets and has to tick each one off. The prem baby midwife still visits and one grandaughter has more vitamins or minerals (shipping container of stuff - I don't remember what they're all for) than the other because she remained jaundiced for longer. Both babies are thriving (although they work nights!). It's an exhausting time and the last things newly-delivered mums need is implied criticism or invented problems.

If little Tobi has put on 100 grams in a week, and is feeding frequently to increase his supply, he is doing a grand job for himself.

Thanks everyone. The assistant midwife and health visitor came to see Tobi yesterday. The midwife said because he still has jaundice my daughter will have to take him to the late jaundice clinic. The health visitor said probably wasn't necessary as he had put on about 100gs in one week. The midwife has a 'tick list' and if jaundice hasn't gone after 2 weeks - off to the clinic! Luckily my daughter's best friend is a midwife and warned her about this. She managed to persuade the midwife to wait until Tuesday and see how he is. He's eating well, content, not listless and he seems less yellow everyday. The health visitor was more sensible and agreed with my daughter.

She's not getting much sleep as he wants to feed most of the night and my grandaughter has taken to waking up around 11.00 and turning up in their room and climbing into bed with them and going off to sleep! Four in a bed and the little one said roll over!!! I'm sure she will get over this night waking soon after the excitement has settled down. She missed her mummy very much and it's probably praying on her subconscious so she's checking mummy is still there.

Good to hear about these little people (and their mums) I know you will all be rejoicing in them.

Libradi . What a lovely Christmas gift for you and your family.

Yes fine thanks Annobel Caitlin is doing well and I've had lots of cuddles over the Christmas

All well with you and yours, Libradi? How is Caitlin doing?

What a time you've all had janthea. I know what you mean about no rest in hospital, my DD couldn't wait to get home after her c section as she had no sleep at all because of the noise.

Thinking of you all

janthea what a nightmare for you all, but it does sound as if Tobias (Toby??) is more than holding his own and I hope your D can make a full recovery. Having had 4 C-sections, they can be a lot harder than some people think esppecially when you have another little one or have complications and your own mobility is restricted. Sleepiness can sometimes be connected with Mum's pain relief or anaesthetic and the fact that the baby has had a very traumatic and sudden arrival into the world. I do hope that once your D is rested and relaxed, that feeding will naturally pick up. Our "own" Tobias, known as Toby (6 weeks) is still sleeping and feeding badly at night and has D up about every 2 hours some nights. Other times he can go through for 4 hours, but as we all know it is an exhausting time for all concerned - I am sure she must be very grateful for all your help.
PS congratulations on Tobias!!

Janthea - a trying time for all of you, but good grounds for rejoicing at Tobias's progress (I like his name very much). Sounds like he knows what's good for him too. So glad that your GD had you there while all this was going on.
Midwives do not necessarily know best! Mine said that DS1 was 'failing to thrive' and told me to supplement breast milk with formula which it turned out he wouldn't touch (sensible child!). He was not a demanding baby so I force fed him every three hours. The midwife was flabbergasted at the spectacular weight gain!
GS2 was rushed off after 24 hours to the SCBU as he was vomiting bile. They had neither milk bank nor mum's rooms and they didn't let me see him until he was almost ready to be discharged after 9 days. I refused an injection to stop my milk and expressed it regularly until he came back to me.

Good morning Janthea, we have had a very similar experience over the last few weeks with my daughter's premature twin girls, who are now at home. One just before Christmas and the other yesterday. Very scary experience, especially when you see them testing blood, urine, heart rate, breathing, aspirate etc., and pumping them full of anti-fungals, anti-virals, anti-biotics, vitamins, minerals and any other medicine that they might need. Some treatments were given 'just in case' because of the length of time in receiving tests back. Many tests came back showing no concern at all. That's how highly effective neo-natal units operate.

You sound like you've got a grasp of how Tobias is doing, and feeding every two hours is increasing his supply (assume he's breast feeding). My grandaughters have been putting on about 3 to 6 ozs each week or 80 to 170 grams. Some weeks they put on a lot and others the mimimum. They only weight around 5 lbs at the moment, so every ounce counts. They are bottle fed with prem baby milk, as their mother's breast-feeding attempts were thwarted for so many reasons, including the presription for increasing her supply not being provided when she requested it. The babies had supplementary donated breast milk for the last three weeks prior to discharge.

If the midwife is talking about topping up, is she implying that the baby is not feeding sufficiently or not getting enough milk? Your daughter could express milk early morning after a good rest, when the supply is more plentiful, and top the baby up with this milk later in the day. It does sound as if she is providing more than enough opportunities for him to feed.

I had a midwife and health visitor pressuring me when my own twin girls were slow to put on weight in the first couple of weeks after birth. It's upsetting enough, without them imposing their own milestones, and they put on weight in their own good time.

Let's hear more about how your lovely grandosn is doing. You can be there to cheer on your daughter when the professionals have toddled off - I hope they are remembering to tell her what a great job she's doing after all they have been through!

Janthea I do feel for you - we had a similar experience with breathing problems and GD being in the unit. Although you'd never wish things to go this way, your DD has at least had a few days 'breathing space' after the Csection. Now that they are home he'll thrive! Your DD will up the milk production quite naturally and probably won't need the top-up. Good too that big sis coped so well (with your help). Our wee one is now a fit (but tiny) 17months and has had no subsequent problems at all. Best wishes to all.

Merry Christmas everyone. I've been offline since Tobias's birth on 16 December. The C section was pretty traumatic. My daughter lost a lot of blood and passed out twice because of ultra low blood pressure. She only had Tobias with her for about 4 hours before they decided his breathing was 'off'. He then spent the next 6 days in the Neonatal unit with tubes clearing fluid from his lungs, antibiotics in case it was an infection. He had feeding tubes, catheters for the antibiotics and countless blood samples taken. He developed jaundice. Not surprising for about two days he didn't feed - just had glucose. My daughter was a wreck - hardly any sleep because she was on a ward with 8 other people. Her husband decided to pay for a private room for two nights which made such a difference to her. Cost a fortune but it was worth it. Eventually they were discharged on 23 December. The results of some of the blood tests don't come back for a couple of weeks, so still holding breath. The doctors were a little concerned as he seemed 'floppy' and sleepy. Again I'm not surprised after all he went through. Back home at last. Midwife called and he's lost over 12% of his birth weight so then she starts talking about 'topping up' if he doesn't put on more weight. Personally I think he's doing well. Not floppy any more, feeds about every two hours and apart from a little wind very content. He's put on about 80g (heaven knows what that is in real money!!). His sister has been very good throughout the whole time. She was very upset that Mummy wasn't around and Daddy was at the hospital most of the time. Thank heavens for Nana!! We had a lovely Christmas Day at my house with daughter's in-laws joining us. So watch this space. Midwife back on Friday to see if he's put on more weight. He apparently feed nearly all night, only going down around 5.00am!!!