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Grandparenting

Grandkids don’t seem to like me + hubs isn’t into grandparenting

(56 Posts)
Harris27 Mon 10-Jun-19 08:03:29

I'm a grandma of four grankuds and it is difficult. I think I now have a balance see them when i can as I'm in still full time employment. Only 59 where the other granparents are retired. Don't do a lot id childcare be cause of work and working myself in childcare! But when I do see them it's ok but they peeper hubby who is more laid back than me. I just accept it now.

crystaltipps Mon 10-Jun-19 08:02:47

Maybe you are trying too hard to be a hands on granny and doing too much. Agree two three year olds can be trying to run rings round you as you are the one organising them, get them out the door, shoes on, stop them running off etc. Plenty of opportunity for them to play up. If that’s what’s happening tell your dil you can’t take them to school, as they are ignoring you and you are worried for their safety. Take a leaf out of your DHs book, enjoy the children in small doses.

BlueBelle Mon 10-Jun-19 07:35:41

Making far too much of this maybe the other grandparents don’t see them every day and you are part of their ‘going to school lives‘ Perhaps hustling and bustling and getting them off to school if they’re tired or not ready in time makes it a bit stressful Kids are fickle little things at 3 it can be something as simple as that gran always gives them sweets There is no adult logic in a three yr olds mind they are not thinking ‘ we like this one better than that one’ it’s all spontaneous Don’t get into competition with the other grandparents for heavens sake

As for your husband it’s entirely up to him how much he does or doesn’t do with them He obviously loves them and he them that is fine
He acts annoyed if I want to spend time with them are you sure you’re not overdoing the granny bit and wanting to spend too much time with them
I want us to be doting grandparents again I think you are projecting your needs onto everyone else
You do come across as over doing it all, you have five grandkids but you also have a husband and a life outside grandchildren.... neglect that at your peril

Humbertbear Mon 10-Jun-19 07:21:05

The children are only three years old and are probably trying to wind you up. Making a fuss about this will only prolong the situation. Perhaps you should stop trying so hard?
My husband is very laid back as a grand father and never seems to make much effort with the GC but they all adore him. They naturally accept that we have different styles and, in all honesty, I sometimes think they prefer his quieter style.

BradfordLass72 Mon 10-Jun-19 04:18:33

1. Ask your daughter to speak to the children and see if they can tell her why they have suddenly gone off you.

2. Don't force, coerce or make your DH feel guilty if he doesn't want to be a hands-on grand-dad, he has that right.
It will only breed resentment and the children will pick up on this. Pleasure must always be genuine.

Simplelife Mon 10-Jun-19 02:31:31

Hi, first post. Hubs and I have 5 grandkids, 3 with his 2 daughters and twins with my son. I’ve got 2 issues: 1) My beautiful 3 year old grandsons, in the past year, have gone off me. I see them a few times a week usually in the roll of helping my busy DIL by taking them to daycare so she can get to work when my son is working shift work. This is killing me because I adore them. (The other 3 are no problem, always hanging off my legs and excited to see me). The twins run to all the other grandparents super excited but run away from me at times. I’ve been in tears so many times I’m wondering if this rejection is good for me. Am I spending too much time helping dil instead of being the fun nanny? Are they associating me with having to go to daycare, etc? 2) Second issue is painful. Hubs is just not that in to grandparenting. He loves all the kids and they all adore him but he acts annoyed if I want us to spend time with the grandkids. I want us to be doting grandparents and he just doesn’t want that. This is a big one for me and has me very torn. Sometimes I feel single. We are together more than 20 years and are not married. Advice?