Please don't judge me but constructive help would be very much appreciated. My son and his wife recently had their first child. Her parents were really excited, my husband was also but I was actually quite worried/concerned that I was not looking forward to the birth. I have never wanted to be a grandparent and certainly hated the idea of being called Granny etc.
I love both our sons, struggled to bond with the first son but have no problems now, adoring both. People I spoke to and voiced my concerns said they had no doubt that I would be excited when the baby was born and I really hoped that would happen. Sadly now the baby is here, I have not had a change of heart and I feel dreadful that I don't have any feelings towards it and feel I am not being honest by trying to pretend I am excited. I do not want to pick it up or cuddle it. I would look after it if asked but I don't want to.
The whole family came around over on the weekend and whilst I stayed around and socialised, all I wanted to do was run away.
Am I alone in my feelings or are there others who feel this way about their grandchildren? We are forever being congratulated on the birth and people expect to hear lots of excited grandparent news but I cannot raise the enthusiasm and I find it depressing that I seem unable to change my feelings. It's almost like having post natal depression. I can only hope that I will get used to the situation and learn to accept it.
Can anyone offer any advice?
To think that London, or anywhere else for that matter, does not belong to any one demographic