Jokes for the little ones

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick,

(GS always said twig! Which we found funny, every time, so in the end that became the joke)

What do you call a man with a rabbit on his head

Warren

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the sea?

Bob

I could go on, but I’ll save you and stop now

How do you start a bears race?
Ready teddy go!

Why was 10 scared?
Because 7 8 ( ate) 9

What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud

What do Santa’s helpers learn at school?
The elfabet (elphabet)

More jokes please. My little GD keeps face timing and likes the jokes

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A fsh

Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick

What did the hat say to the scarf?
I'll hang around and you go on ahead

How about givng her an empty matchbox and challenge her to see how many different things she can get in it? Or, decorating a new bar of soap? My daughters had great fun doing both when they were young.

Great, thank you!

Two goldfish in a tank, one turned to the other and said "who's actually driving this thing?"

The curtains told the sofa that they were a bit worried. The sofa said " Oh just pull yourself together! "

Why do cats think they are better than other animals? They think they are purrrfect!

The vet asked the dog how he was feeling, the dog replied "A bit ruff!"

Why don't tigers get any headache tablets in the jungle? Because the paracetamol ! (The parrots eat 'em all)

I think I will print these off (or type them out- heaven knows I’ve got plenty of time now!) so they are handy for the next video call. I don’t think I’ll manage to memorise them!

Two snowmen in the garden one said "Can you smell carrots ?"

Q. Where do you take a sick horse? A. To the horsepital.

Q. And when a pig has a graze on its knee? A. You put on oinkment.

What is green and hairy and goes up and down?
A gooseberry in a lift.
What is yellow and dangerous?
Shark infested custard.

I am glad others can use these ideas too. Yesterday I sent a letter with lots of colourful photos of spring flowers to look out for if she goes out (yesterday you could still go out. Now they have closed the playgrounds)

I have a whole box of "rainy day activities" which I used to collect when my kids were small - pages cut from magazines, backs of cereal packets, little puzzle books and so on. I have also thought of reading to her - can send the audio file.

For DGS in America, post takes ages, so I will also be making video files. I thought I'd start with a Blue Peter type origami demonstration, folding a paper aeroplane for him to try out.

Things to send to young children to keep them occupied;
crochet an Olly the Octopus, pattern is online along with others, its really easy.
Crochet flowers and ask them to decorate a jar to put them in
Knit toys patterns again online
decorate paper plates
origami
cardboard boxes into houses
old car tyres in the garden with planks of wood for them to balance on or rolling the tyres
Make them a cardboard steering wheel they can decorate then use as a car in laundry baskets
Easter is coming make anything related to it
Think thats enough to be going on with!

What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk!

Thanks Trisha - I’m collecting these and sending to gc!