Nightmare DIL

I suppose they want to create their own memories for the children, instead of e.g. having the children wake up in your house on Christmas Day.

In your position, I'd say nothing or you risk not being allowed to see the grandchildren at all.

Are you serious ?!
If so, this is the sort of thing that gets MIL’s a bad rep.

Well I am sorry to say their children, their rules. Why should they have a life that YOU have created, let them live their own lives instead of recreating the life you had with your children when they were younger. Your daughter may well feel the same. Just be happy that you are able to see them and are in contact with them, many parent aren't. Sorry for being so hard.

Re read your post as if it were by someone else. Can you see the common thread? Its all about you, what you want. The children are theirs not yours, their life is theirs not yours. And as for drinking when you have little ones in your care, give me strength woman!

And by the way not hugging was NOT your DILs rule it was for the good of us all by the government. We have all missed cuddles from our grandkids.

Hazbeen

Words fail me and that doesn’t often happen

We aren’t allowed to say what we think about this post are we ?

I think the very hot weather and too much time has a lot to do with it ......

You’ll need to take a massive step back on this Granincharge, because you’re not in charge where they, or any other of your offspring is concerned.

They do things their way and you need to accept that with a smile and possibly be granted more or it could lead to an awful lot less than you get now - and then you’ll really have something to whine about!

Every day is a school holiday at the moment for pupils of a certain age

A few things stand out here. One is your online name, which says it all! You also say that "Since then they've had MY 3 grandchildren", and that you're counting the days till your daughter gives YOU more grandchildren. It seems that you see your grandchildren as YOUR property! Has it never occurred to you that your son's family may want to start some traditions of their own? Obviously not. It is not unreasonable, with three children, for the oldest to have a room of their own. You are only 90 minutes away, so if you can't stay for the night it's not the end of the world. I can see why your DIL has been forced into putting her foot down - so would I in her position!! I'm sorry but you sound thoroughly self-centred and controlling. Perhaps if you tried to consider their family as a unit instead of an extension of you and your husband, maybe they would soften a little. It's a shame, because your relationship with your grandchildren will suffer if you don't change your attitude and that would be so sad for them and for you.

Dear Granincharge your name says it all. You say since they've had my 3 grandchildren when actually they are their children. As others have said please re-read what you have written and think again about what you are asking. Their children their rules.

this is a reverse, right ?

welbeck

this is a reverse, right ?

It’s certainly...something.?

Yes certainly something........

Sorry Granincharge. There are a few points in your post that are making me side with your dil. First and foremost she didn’t give birth to your gc she gave birth to their children. I’m a gran of 4 and involved in their lives, lots of babysitting and sleepovers etc.

The alcohol while babysitting is a complete no no for me. I think your son and dil were perfectly justified in being annoyed even if it was only a couple of glasses.

If you were the sole adults in charge what would you do if one of the children needed medical attention eg taken to emergency GP or A&E? You would be over the limit for driving.

Maybe the ops recycling bin need checking for empty bottles ?

My reply to the OP’s request for ‘Any advice?’ would probably be deleted by Gransnet!

There was a clue in the user name ?

I have a feeling I’ve just taken the reply to a wind up post

I have to say I am baffled by some of these replies. I was after some support but perhaps I have come to the wrong place. What is a reverse? I will try and think about them more but I still can’t help but feel I am being treated very unfairly as a grandmother

Oh dear. If this is a genuine post then I pity your DIL. They are her children, not yours. I can’t blame her for not wanting to go on holiday with your extended family. She married your son, not his extended family.

Your job as the parent is to raise your child into a decent human being. Your job as a grandparent is to hope you did a good enough job of being a parent. Not to make demands. Also dils always get the blame when shhh most of the time we take the lead from our husbands.