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Soon to be Nan and never been mother needs advice!

(20 Posts)
Superstepgran Sun 17-Jan-21 12:11:16

I have never been a biological mother (through choice) but took on 2 step children aged 8 & 10. They are now all grown up and my step daughter is pregnant and I want to be as supportive as possible. What would you recommend me and my husband buy for our house to help make visits easier and less stressful. smile what’s good to have in stock? Should I by some furniture?

tanith Sun 17-Jan-21 12:20:16

Does she live with you?

Toadinthehole Sun 17-Jan-21 12:34:14

Congratulations to you both on the imminent birth of your first grandchild. I wouldn’t panic just’ll be a while before you’d need to make major changes. Really when they start any time from around 7 months.
Gates are something that are an absolute necessity, particularly at the bottom of the stairs, kitchen etc.
Depending on the size of your house, a playpen could be useful. You can get ones which fold up and stack away.
Mostly, you’ll just work out what you need as you go along. For the first few months, they don’t do much at all. Then comes the rolling, sitting up, shuffling along, crawling, tiny steps, tottering, walking, running etc etc, and not always in that order, or some stages missed out. One of my grandchildren never crawled....just shuffled, stood up and walked.
Hope all goes well...and enjoy🤗

Redhead56 Sun 17-Jan-21 12:34:41

Our daughter lives over sixty miles away we have not seen her much at all this last year obviously. We bought a travel cot with sheets etc inexpensive from Aldi. It came in handy when she came here and she took it home as a play pen. We keep a box of toys and spare clothes nappies etc here just in case they are needed. We got a booster high seat too which is easily transported when they went anywhere.

Galaxy Sun 17-Jan-21 12:37:31

My mum had a large glass table in her sitting room, during my childrens toddler years she swapped it for something safer. I wouldnt have dreamt of asking her to do this but I remember that kindness.

sodapop Sun 17-Jan-21 12:40:55

Congratulations Superstepgran something good to look forward to. Travel cot is a good idea but I wouldn't invest in much yet until you know what the parents want. New parents can be quite specific in what they want for their child.

Superstepgran Sun 17-Jan-21 12:45:59

Thanks everyone got your advice. She doesn’t live with us but luckily lives close so hoping to be able to offer babysitting services when ever she needs it smile

Galaxy Sun 17-Jan-21 12:50:03

Oh and noticing little things, my lovely MIL noticed me coming down the stairs with all the washing. On her next visit she brought me a washing basket she had made labelled babys clothes, small enough to lurk in the kitchen. I still have it grin

FarNorth Sun 17-Jan-21 12:55:02

Discuss the whole thing with your stepdaughter.
Don't buy baby equipment until you know how she wants to do things.

The early months can be very difficult for a new mother (not always, but I'm speaking from experience) so pressures on her to visit, or accept visits, should be avoided.

lemsip Sun 17-Jan-21 12:59:23

Has she a Mother in the picture?

Curlywhirly Sun 17-Jan-21 13:26:59

I agree with others, you need to see how involved they want you to be before making any big purchases. We were asked to get fully involved, and they said to buy anything that would help us, so I bought a cot, high chair, changing mat and later a baby walker (which my son pinched for their house!). I always have nappies and wipes in, and some spare clothes. They have been more than happy for the children to come to our house (they are just grateful for a rest to be honest, and I don't blame them!) and when the time was right, for them to sleep over, but I know from some of my friends, that that isn't always the case. I think once the baby arrives, you will know better what is expected and how involved you will be. Good luck. Oh and a nice touch would be to take around a prepared meal (cottage pie, lasagna etc, something easy to warm up) for when the Mum and baby come home, Mum and Dad will be very busy settling the baby in and a ready made meal will be very welcome!

Septimia Sun 17-Jan-21 13:51:54

Buy stairgates and put away anything that's precious or breakable and is within reach once the child is mobile! Ask about the other things or buy as it becomes obvious that they're needed.

Grandmabatty Sun 17-Jan-21 16:19:02

Congratulations! It's absolutely wonderful. I wouldn't buy much equipment or furniture until the baby is here. I bought a travel cot and dgs still uses it aged two. I put his toys in it when he isn't here. A changing mat and wipes are useful too. Don't buy too many nappies at a time as they grow out of sizes very quickly. I bought a baby walker to give him a different outlook although my dd wasn't getting one. I bought a high chair too. I also bought a pushchair which is easily collapseable. I look after him two or three days a week so they've all come in handy.

crazyH Sun 17-Jan-21 16:47:40

Congratulations Superstepgran !! What an exciting time for you and the family!! You are going to be thing I’ve learnt. Don’t buy anything unless you’ve checked with the parents (Mum usually). Having said that, a waterproof light baby mattress/sleep pillow that you place on your carpet, for when the baby visits, will be good for you to keep in your house. Also baby blanket. A couple of dummies (if baby uses them). We were always searching for dummies .......could never find one when the baby started crying.
Have fun !! Enjoy!!

Superstepgran Mon 18-Jan-21 10:13:33

Thank everyone for your advice! I just want them to feel at home with us and that she has everything she needs here so visiting isn’t so stressful as I know from friends it’s like moving home sometimes with all the stuff you need but having never been a mum I just have no real clue on what to get! It’s still very early days yet and trying to curb my enthusiasm but do some research into what’s recommended!

dragonfly46 Mon 18-Jan-21 10:18:28

Go on your local FB site or Nextdoor and ask if anyone has a second hand travel cot and high chair. I got amazingly good quality ones for a snip. I would wait until the little one is born though you will soon find what you need.

Jane10 Mon 18-Jan-21 10:44:36

Wait and see. I had a supply of nappies, wipes, etc so DD could just drop in and not have to worry about carrying supplies. As time went on and baby 1 grew up and began to stay over with us, I bought an IKEA high chair, sippy cup, plastic plates and bowls etc. As he and his new brother grew I had a crate of toys and books so they always had something to play with when they were here.
It was incremental as their needs and personalities emerged and as they stayed over with us.

Lolo81 Mon 18-Jan-21 19:10:26

Ask your DSD what you can do to help. That should give you some insight into how involved, frequency of visits etc she’s envisioning. Making sure your expectations and hers are in line will make for a continued great relationship.
The one thing I’ve found handy was a travel cot, it takes up very little room and can be used for naps or tummy time.
Communication is key, having spent some time on MN, there seems to be a trend of GP’s kitting out a full nursery and expecting overnight stays early on which new mums tend to find overbearing and sometimes creepy.

ElaineI Mon 18-Jan-21 22:30:40

We got changing mat, wipes, sudocreme and a few nappies - grow out quick. Aldi are good. Baby bouncing chair, playmat and a few toys. Later a spare buggy, travel cot and highchair. Now ended up with booster seats (2), loads of toys - indoor and outdoor, scooters, balls,, variety of plates and cups, books for all ages! House is full!

ElaineI Mon 18-Jan-21 22:31:08

Its lovely - consult parents though.