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Grandparenting

Bath sharing

(100 Posts)
2Nana2507 Mon 14-Jun-21 13:00:19

My two grandchildren aged 7 (boy) and 4 (girl) still share a bath with their grandfather of the other set of grandparents (not my husband) when they are staying over with them. They have done this since they were tots, the other set of grandparents, my son and his partner (whose father it is) thinks that there is nothing wrong with this and the children think it is fun and love getting in the bath with their grandfather. I, however find this a little disgusting now that the children are getting older and how long will this go on for? The other family are very liberal minded, for instance they sunbathe naked in their garden. I do not want to sound a prude or cause a scene about this, but I do worry about any ill effect this might have on my grandchildren , what does anyone else think?

greenlady102 Mon 14-Jun-21 13:07:35

I think if the parents are ok with it, then there's not a lot you can do. What I would advise you not to do under ANY circumstances is make any comments at all to the children. If you have any concerns at all that there is anything illegal going on then that would be a different matter but if its simply am matter of your standards differing then I am afraid you will have to accept it.

Newatthis Mon 14-Jun-21 13:08:03

I agree with you. I think it's OK for children to share a bath with their parents when they are babies but not now as they are older and certainly not with their granddad. I hope he put on some swim shorts! The thought of this makes me feel a little uneasy.

MawBe Mon 14-Jun-21 13:16:31

Given that my GS (5) takes great pride and pleasure in weeing in his bath , I don’t think I’d rush to share it!

Newatthis Mon 14-Jun-21 13:20:15

There is that!!

Lucca Mon 14-Jun-21 13:20:15

I’m not sharing with my grandchildren any more ever since the comment that “my mummy’s boobies aren’t wobbly “

Grannybags Mon 14-Jun-21 14:43:17

Lucca

I’m not sharing with my grandchildren any more ever since the comment that “my mummy’s boobies aren’t wobbly “

😂 Brilliant!

Talullah Mon 14-Jun-21 14:46:13

I'd never share a bath with my grandchildren. And the thought of sharing one with my grandparents. Well, I think I'd have fainted. But if the parents are OK with it then I guess you'll just have to accept it.

love0c Mon 14-Jun-21 14:49:46

Parents yes, grandparents no. Just my opinion.

ExD Mon 14-Jun-21 14:58:22

Oh Lucca that's priceless.
No, I'd be uneasy when the children get to that age, especially the little girl, but it sounds as though the children are being brought up in a (perhaps) more open home that our generation were.
Its not up to you to comment on it though, nor to suggest they curtail it although it must be very hard for you to bite your tongue. Hopefully the bath will get too full of bodies soon and it will stop naturally.
I am generally uncomfortable with the 'openness' of today's families - not sure about TV adverts for Tampax, Sanitary products and condoms either! How do you explain all that to a four year old?

V3ra Mon 14-Jun-21 15:01:57

Whatever size bath have they got that will fit them all in?! No, I don't think that's appropriate.
But then by that age I would be bathing the two children separately as well.

luluaugust Mon 14-Jun-21 15:28:23

I would be a little uneasy too. I think the children are now of an age when they should be bathed separately.

Lucca Mon 14-Jun-21 15:35:07

I think bathed separately is a bit much! My DgC are 6 and 4 And definitely still bath together.

BlueBelle Mon 14-Jun-21 15:35:38

Totally inappropriate and actually I think the old man is wrong to encourage this but nothing you can do or say if the parents think it’s ok I m surprise the mother is ok with this
I don’t think sunbathing g in the nuddy in the garden is anything to get uptight about but in a bath with a 5 and 7 year old is pervy
Yuk yuk

Kate1949 Mon 14-Jun-21 15:37:55

Bathing with grandparents!!! Noooooo.

DiscoDancer1975 Mon 14-Jun-21 15:39:28

If it were their dad....fine. Grandad....no, it makes me uneasy too. I would never have allowed it with my children, and my husband is certainly not getting in the bath with anyone!!
However, they’re not your children, so not much you can do I’m afraid. If they ever asked you or your husband if you’d like to bath with them, then you can voice your opinion indirectly by just saying no, it’s not for us. That indicates you disapprove, but in an unimposing way.

JaneJudge Mon 14-Jun-21 15:39:59

is it a normal sized bath? that is quite a lot of people in a bath together. i think it's fine for the siblings to bath together. I'm not sure about Grandpa but it sounds like they are seeing his tackle in the garden anyway. Do they have neighbours?

Shelflife Mon 14-Jun-21 16:00:29

What they do in their own house and garden is absolutely fine . However I would not be happy if my grandchildren - boy or girl were sharing a bath with their grandfather.
I know this sounds very prudish but it does not sit comfortably with me. As a grandma I would never share a bath / shower with my grandchildren.

Marydoll Mon 14-Jun-21 16:07:10

Parents fine, male grandparent and seven year old granddaughter, absolutely not! Whether innocent or not, the situation leaves itself wide open to speculation about safeguarding issues.
That would have rung alarm bells if one of our pupils had revealed that information in my school.
I am no prude, but am speaking from experience.

welbeck Mon 14-Jun-21 16:17:57

children together: ok, if they both like it. plus GF: no, no, no.
but as others have said, not your call, if they like it, and their parents are ok.
maybe when they stay with you, you could ask them each if they would like to have a whole bath-tub to themselves, now that they are getting bigger, to have more splash room.
don't labour it, but just might make them think, see it as an advance, being beyond babyhood, take pride in that.

Shelflife Mon 14-Jun-21 16:22:09

Very sound advice Marydoll. This is simply inappropriate . 2Nanna2507 what does your son have to say about this ?

Oldbat1 Mon 14-Jun-21 16:29:06

Why would you want to do that? No need nowadays as hot water is readily available unlike years ago and even then as children the parents would use the same water but not at the same time. Bit odd to my mind.

grannysyb Mon 14-Jun-21 16:29:14

When I was young, I shocked a lot of my school friends by saying that I had seen both of my parents naked! If the parents of the children are happy with the situation it's up to them. Why would you bath a 4 and 7 year old separately?

lemsip Mon 14-Jun-21 16:30:50

share a bath with their grandfather? did I read that right?.

a disgraceful grandfather ..I would have to intervene.

and yes, a boy of seven should be bathing alone Not with his little sister anymore.

H1954 Mon 14-Jun-21 16:37:35

This just does not sit right with me. It is only a matter of time before one of these children tells a teacher " we bath with our grandad and he sits in his garden with no pants on and we've seen his ***"!