Gransnet forums

Grandparenting

Would you knit any more gifts?

(151 Posts)
Antonia Fri 16-Jul-21 10:08:14

I love knitting and have recently had a grand niece. So far I have knitted a pram blanket and a jacket. But since I sent them to the couple, together with a pram toy and two other bought outfits, I haven't had any acknowledgement. This was over a month ago.
The baby is my sister's son's child. My sister was upset that the couple haven't so far said thank you for any of the gifts they received, and so she posted thank you cards herself, pretending they came from the couple. I got one myself, but it didn't make me feel much better, since I know it didn't come from the couple themselves.
She did this because a lot of people complained they had not been thanked for the couple's wedding presents, over five years ago. No one got a thank you, not even a text.
My dilemma is, I have lots of left over yarn and I could knit more baby clothes but I feel they are not appreciated.
Am I being precious, or am I right to feel offended? Do young couples actually want hand knitted clothes anyway?

CafeAuLait Fri 16-Jul-21 10:18:45

So your nephew? Given they had a new baby in the last month, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. If you knit maybe give it in person, if you can? Then they can respond on the spot. I know it's nice to get the acknowledgement and know that they like what you made them. Hopefully they are just sleep deprived or busy adjusting to parenthood and running a bit late with the thank yous.

Flexagon Fri 16-Jul-21 10:28:20

I'm not sure that they do. It depends on the family.

It's worth adding that some charities are awash with baby garments especially as more people have been knitting like crazy during Covid restrictions: This from Knit for Peace:

Having received a lot of knitting over the past few months, we find ourselves very well stocked on some items. Due to storage capacity we are asking not to be sent certain items right now.

We need: blankets in all sizes, mitts and socks in all sizes, adult jumpers/cardigans and knitted toys for babies and children.

We don’t need: hats in all sizes, child jumpers/cardigans, twiddlemuffs, squares and premature baby clothes. Please don’t send us any of these items at the moment.

So, still plenty of opportunity to knit for others, just not baby clothes.

Germanshepherdsmum Fri 16-Jul-21 10:29:41

I would say well, they must be very busy with a new baby, but not having thanked people for wedding gifts five years ago makes me think they’re just bad-mannered. I’m not sure hand knitted baby clothes are very popular these days as people want the convenience of putting something in the wash machine and tumble dryer. Have you thought about buying a doll and knitting clothes for it? A little girl would love a dolly with clothes she can dress it in.

Germanshepherdsmum Fri 16-Jul-21 10:31:06

Sorry, washing machine!

Antonia Fri 16-Jul-21 10:49:15

Thank you for the replies. I can't give in person as they live too far away.

The yarn I used is machine washable.

I know they are busy with the baby, but how long does it take to send a quick text? I am on a couple of social media sites with them so it's not as if they can't contact me.

Grandmabatty Fri 16-Jul-21 10:54:32

They might be inundated with gifts and overwhelmed with the needs of a new born? My dd sent thank you cards after dgs was about three to four months. She ordered special cards with photos of dgs and they took a while to arrive. Sadly some people don't send thanks for gifts and it's more common nowadays. It doesn't mean that they don't appreciate them though.

Shandy57 Fri 16-Jul-21 10:57:08

I'd text them Antonia and ask if they liked the blanket and jacket, could you see a photo of the baby, and would they like some more? Tell them what colours you have so they can choose. It is sad they've not said thank you, but they will be so busy with the baby.

tanith Fri 16-Jul-21 11:00:27

I’ve decide to not bother knitting for babies in the family anymore they seem to send me a pic of baby wearing them then are never worn again which I understand but not going to waste my time anymore.
To not even say thankyou is just so rude.

Gwenisgreat1 Fri 16-Jul-21 11:04:50

When my DGS was a baby, he was in the special baby unit, being undersized. I did knit garments for him because he was so small, then I knitted garments for the other small babies in the unit - they were very much welcome.
Unfortunately my hands are now arthritic, so knitting is not possible.

Calendargirl Fri 16-Jul-21 12:28:10

I honestly think that not many new parents want hand knitted matinee jackets, bootees, mittens, etc. nowadays. Doesn’t alter the fact that it’s bad manners not to thank donors for gifts. Grandma could have purchased and posted the thank you cards on their behalf, but I still think they could have written a line of appreciation themselves. But if they’ve never bothered thanking people for wedding presents…too busy on honeymoon I suppose.

BTW, on our local Facebook page recently, our local maternity hospital was asking for matinee jackets for babies.

March Fri 16-Jul-21 12:34:16

I didn't even know thank you cards was a thing and I'm early 30s!
I sent a text to everyone with my other 2 children and/or thanked them on the spot.

My Nan knitted for both of my DDs and ive thankfully kept a few items. She passed away in 2017 and I'm pregnant with DC3 now, and still love knitted clothes.
I know other mums that do, knitted items are definitely back in fashion.

Hellogirl1 Fri 16-Jul-21 12:36:12

Not knitting, but several bought outfits for great grandchildren have gone unacknowledged, it does make you feel unappreciated.

twinnytwin Fri 16-Jul-21 12:42:29

I had a request from a friend to knit her daughter a matinee jacket for her new baby - they loved it. My new granddaughter has several items of handmade clothing from me and her other relatives, sewn and knitted. Retro clothing and decor is very fashionable at the moment.
I'm sure your nephew and his wife were thrilled with your knitted items. I'd put the lack of a thank you as them being thoughtless, rather than not liking your knits. I'd pop a text to them and ask them if they were pleased and can you have a photo of the littl'un.

H1954 Fri 16-Jul-21 12:51:53

If you don't feel inclined to knit for such an ungrateful set of parents why not use the yarn and your talents and knit for your local maternity unit?
I knit traffic light beanies, red for sick babies, yellow for those needing a degree of nursing and green for those who are fit and well.
I also knit white beanies and matinee jackets for the babies who are born asleep so they may be dressed, quite often the parents don't feel able to do this and the nurses take over.

jeanie99 Wed 04-Aug-21 06:39:54

My husbands niece married some years ago and we sent cut glass drinking glasses, we also never received a thank you.
I consider this rude.
As far as the knitting goes I'm not sure if the younger generation are into home knitting anymore, but even considering this they should have thanked you.

FindingNemo15 Wed 04-Aug-21 07:11:52

I think not bothering to say thank you seems to be the trend now, it is very rude.

Our neighbour had a baby in February and I passed on a bag, card and four presents, two for the baby and two for the new mum. I am still waiting to hear the two little words "thank you".

Grandmajean Wed 04-Aug-21 07:36:06

Very rude Antonia Nobody is too busy to send a text ! I would be upset too.

Grandma70s Wed 04-Aug-21 07:37:29

I have sent presents to my great-nieces for Birthdays and Christmas in the past year. I have not had any acknowledgement for any of them. I haven’t said anything, but I am very shocked. They are too young to write themselves, but their parents (my nephew and his wife) should do it.

My grandchildren (brother’s great-nephew and niece) do send thanks to my brother and sister-in-law, usually three or four weeks after the event, and not exactly neatly written, but they are made to do it. Quite right, too.
It is inexcusable at any age not to thank people for gifts.

We live too far apart to say thanks in person, which is, of course, much easier.

Billybob4491 Wed 04-Aug-21 08:17:04

Antonia - in answer to your question yes I would continue to knit and then donate to either Hospitals or Charity Shops, I always have a knitting project on the go and this is what I do.

BigBertha1 Wed 04-Aug-21 10:00:35

Antonia as others have said sadly babies dont really have knitted items so much now although I still think a blanket is lovely if you can machine wash it. As to the question of sending thanks for presents it is rude not too and some things should be made time for. However many people young and old don't send thanks. We have stopped sending to our adult grandchildren a) they have more than enough stuff b) we never even now if gifts, cards etc have arrived let alone a thank you.

Witzend Wed 04-Aug-21 10:22:50

Thanks do seem to be outdated in many circles nowadays, though having said that, I was seriously surprised to receive only about a month later, a very nice, personal, thank you note for a cash gift for the wedding of a cousin’s son.

As for the knitted items, OP, it’s very bad manners but personally I wouldn’t say anything. I wouldn’t bother making anything else for them, though. Of course anything for babies/young children does need to be easily machine washable.

The other GM makes a lot of jumpers for little Gdcs, , which are welcomed and well worn, but they can all go in an ordinary wash, so no pure wool. Since she makes plenty, I don’t compete there.

If you enjoy knitting, there are charities who’d certainly welcome your efforts. Knit for Peace and Knit for Nowt are two I knit for, and have also made Twiddle Muffs for patients with dementia at the local hospital.

I also make Christmas items for the raffle at Gdcs’ primary school Christmas fair. Currently working through the 4th Nativity set (courtesy of Jean Greenhowe’s pattern) and will probably make another big fat Father Christmas from the same pattern book. (The Christmas Special, in case anyone wants to know.)

silverlining48 Thu 05-Aug-21 11:22:52

It is a pity that now, when it’s so easy and cost free to communicate these days, so few thanks are ever received. I find myself asking if such and such has arrived and told yes, but even then, rarely thanks. Disappointing.

Theoddbird Thu 05-Aug-21 11:23:28

It is bad manners but having been in the situation of not being thanked I can understand your upset. As they didn't thank anyone for their wedding gifts it seems it is never going to happen. Keep your wool for the next time you here about a new baby x

Nannapat1 Thu 05-Aug-21 11:24:18

I remember receiving a thank you for a new baby gift when said baby was about 5 months old, with profuse apologies for not sending out thanks earlier I think probably being annoyed at 1 month is a bit harsh but it doesn't explain lack of thanks for wedding gifts I suppose.