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Thoughts please !

(113 Posts)
Lizzy60 Thu 21-Oct-21 00:13:35

Simple question here - should a 14 year old girl be left alone with a 3 month old baby (not related) & a bottle ? ( I'm looking for thoughts , clearly I don't think this is right under any circumstances ) !

crazyH Thu 21-Oct-21 00:15:54

No way ! I wouldn’t even leave a 16 year old alone with a 3 month old baby ……

Lizzy60 Thu 21-Oct-21 00:16:02

PS / Left alone for 5 hours in house , no adult present !

Lizzy60 Thu 21-Oct-21 00:16:49

crazyH Thank you , agreed !

Hithere Thu 21-Oct-21 00:20:46

Is she babysitting?

Lizzy60 Thu 21-Oct-21 00:25:30

14 year old girl , 3 month baby left with her for 5 hours with only phone contact to baby's mother who went out for the day .
Breastfed baby , but today left a bottle with the girl to feed her .

Namsnanny Thu 21-Oct-21 00:25:45

No. If only because if something happened I wouldn't want to burden her with the responsibility at such a young age.

It's not a can she cope, it's a she shouldn't have to cope situation.

Lizzy60 Thu 21-Oct-21 00:29:28

Namsnanny Exactly , as other people have said to me , thanks !

grannyactivist Thu 21-Oct-21 00:35:44

At 14 I had been in that situation dozens of times - and without access to a phone! I was sensible, would remain level headed in an emergency, and was very experienced at looking after babies.

However, also when I was 14 my four month old baby brother died of Sudden Instant Death Syndrome (‘cot death’ as it was then known). I was not alone with him at the time, but it was a traumatic event - so the risk of something untoward happening with such a young baby and no adult back-up in place makes me very uneasy.

Lizzy60 Thu 21-Oct-21 00:52:45

grannyactivist I'm sure in days gone a 14 year old would've been left in that situation but I think we know better these days & as you say , what happened in your family tends to prove the point really . There was no need for the baby ( my precious Granddaughter ) to left in the way she was , I'm home everyday & available !

Hithere Thu 21-Oct-21 01:05:01

It depends on how mature and how much experience the 14 year old has, and how easy going the baby is

Namsnanny Thu 21-Oct-21 01:07:58

Grannyactivist That sound horrendous for you, and the rest of your

Hithere Thu 21-Oct-21 01:08:54

So the problem is that you were not picked to babysit the baby, I see.

Lizzy60 Thu 21-Oct-21 01:16:57

Hithere No , the problem is leaving a 3 month old baby with an unrelated 14 year old in a dirty house with a bottle for 5 hours , alone at home with only phone contact ! If baby had been left with an experienced adult , no problem at all !

Namsnanny Thu 21-Oct-21 01:17:48

That's jumping the gun a bit Hithere.
Experience granny v inexperience 14 year old.
I know who I'd pick.

Hithere Thu 21-Oct-21 01:20:12


Your son and his wife chose to leave their child with a person you do not approve of. Grandparents do not have input on those kind of decisions.

How is your relationship with your son and dil?

Hithere Thu 21-Oct-21 01:22:35


You are assuming the qualities of the babysitter vs the grandmother.

We only know the age of the babysitter. That's it.

Lizzy60 Thu 21-Oct-21 01:28:06

Hithere They're not married . I have 4 adult children , in their 30's , all successful in their fields . The 14 year old is just that , 14 .

Enid101 Thu 21-Oct-21 01:49:38

Too many unknowns to give an opinion though I suspect you want us to say it’s unreasonable.
Really depends on the girl - is she reliable, does she know the baby, would she know what to do in an emergency?
Is the baby fairly easy or do they have any additional needs?
Where are the parents going?
At the end of the day, if you think the baby is at risk then you should report it.

Lizzy60 Thu 21-Oct-21 02:04:43

Enid101 I asked for thoughts not agreements . Girl is just 14 , baby is 3 months , they're not related in any way . House is dirty , girl's mother is an alcoholic & known in the area for this but not present during the baby's stay of 5 hours .

Hithere Thu 21-Oct-21 02:21:10

The age of a person doesnt define what he/she can do and his/her maturity

I have met some 14 year olds that are more responsible that people my age.

CafeAuLait Thu 21-Oct-21 02:35:20

It really depends on the 14 year old. When I was 14 I was regularly in charge of babies. I was very capable. My own daughter was a very capable 14 year old. I wouldn't leave a 14 year old that long with a baby myself, but it's not illegal where I live. Unless you have concerns that the 14 year old isn't capable, this is a parental decision, even if it isn't one you think is the right one.

BlueBelle Thu 21-Oct-21 02:46:35

It’s certainly not something I d chose to do other than in an emergency
May I ask why your daughter in law would choose a teenage babysitter (the daughter of a well known alcoholic with a filthy house) to look after her little one ? Seems very strange to make this choice ? Are they very friendly with this well known alcoholic?
I presume your relationship with your daughter in law is very poor ? or they would have asked you
Are you meaning your son had no knowledge of this arrangement ?

There is no law in U.K. as to what age a child can babysit but usually people would choose someone over 16

I can really understand your concern but I think there sounds a lot more to this than that one question

Enid101 Thu 21-Oct-21 03:00:17


Enid101 I asked for thoughts not agreements . Girl is just 14 , baby is 3 months , they're not related in any way . House is dirty , girl's mother is an alcoholic & known in the area for this but not present during the baby's stay of 5 hours .

You think it’s wrong so report it. No need to seek the ‘thoughts’ of others - especially if you are spiky when asked for more clarity.

Lizzy60 Thu 21-Oct-21 03:07:49

Bluebelle I don't know why she would chose as she did . I have always got on with her & helped her in many ways . She doesn't see her own family . Until today I was always asked to care for the baby . If she had taken her to an adult friend , fair enough .