Smear tests....

Annobel, maybe it's just as well he beat you in the election....! If you had beaten him, his wifes' examination of your botty may have been even more uncomfortable...!!

Years ago, our GP, who was also a friend, would always say something like "Isn't the price of sugar sky high nowadays" whilst doing a smear or any other sort of intimate rummaging. When I asked him why, he said that he had to say something or it would be embarrassing!!

I'd forgotten about another time years ago when I went to have a smear test and the Dr who came into the room was someone that I was in a Nuclear Disarmament group with. He asked if I'd prefer someone else to do it and I agreed. maybe we should all wear paper bags over our heads at such times ?

I once had a young locum who asked if I would prefer to see the "lady doctor" By this time I had been pregnant 6 times and could have been examined in the market place if necessary! Don't feel quite the same now and I'm glad, at least from that point of view, that I had my 'bits' removed years ago.

It's really hard for lady doctors, because [and I hadn't thought of this before] my cousin told me that he didn't ever want a male doctor examining him in embarrassing places either.

I've had my smear test carried out by a lady doctor I also know socially and I must admit I felt it reassuring! Perhaps I'm odd . She did ask whether I'd like her colleague to do it, but it honestly didn't bother me. As I said earlier we women are made the same, so what the heck?

Going for mine tomorrow morning. New surgery, not my usual lovely practice nurse so don't know what to expect. Trouble with hip recently so not sure the knees apart thing will be a doddle either! To add insult to injury, I have to go for a mammogram on Thursday as well! Twice the discomfort and anxiety!

Wondering about taking a wee dram of sherry to take just before I go in, but not sure how much I can drink if I have to drive back afterwards! I never, ever drink and drive so it shows how nervous I am. I hate waiting for the results, so it isn't as if, once it's been done you can forget about it!

All done. Couple of tips, though. If you feel worried, nervous, tell the nurse. They really do put you at your ease. If you're post menopausal and not on hrt, ask your doctor for some pessaries to use for a couple of weeks before the test; I didn't, but it would have made it a lot easier if I had. Also, ask the nurse to use a small speculum [?....nearly wrote plectrum!]. It's in my notes for next time. I've got to go back, because there was something else worrying me, but I feel more 'in control' now. Actually felt better going to a specialist clinic rather than my GP, as I thought they were more understanding.

Well done Crimson, I'm glad it went without any problems.

What kind of tune would she have played crimson had it been a plectrum?
"I'll be seeing you in all the old familiar places" maybe. Any other suggestions?

"Jump up and down, wave your knickers in the air" ?

"Yes sir, that's my baby" ?

The only way is up?

` Funny familiar forgotten feelings`

Is this the way to Amarillo?

Born to be wild

"It's a long way to Tipperary"

The long and winding road.

"I'm Beginning to See the Light

I love you all - you are all as mad as I am!
I think it was Jo Brand who recounted that when she was in the most undignified position in the world the young doctor started asking her about her show!

"I will survive" "Sisters are doing it..."

I was having a coil put in once in an FPA clinic and felt very faint. The young doctor then also felt faint so i was lying on the couch and he was sitting down with his head between his knees.

I know I have said it before but I love Gransnet where else would you find women from all over the world `talking` about such personal things and turning them around so that they become funny

Oh yes, Annika it's invaluable, and funny. Love it!

Oh I went down south for to see my gal (singing pollywolly doodle all the day)
In a cavern in a canyon (excavating for a mine).
Oh dear what can the matter be?
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen.
We'll meet again. don't know where don't know when but I know we'll meet again some sunny day.

Oh Artygran ! The bloody mammogram! I had my first (last year, or was it the year before?) I was dreading it, as someone who cannot fill a M&S 32A bra, I was intrigued/horrified/embarrased (delete where not applicabe) as to how they were actually going to get my non-existent bosoms between the plates.

But again I make the point I made about smear tests, we are bloody lucky to have this service available to us free.

(PS The woman doing it rose admirably to the challenge, although I had no idea I could assume those positions. Unlike my smear, where our practice nurse is always amazed at the fact that I still seem to be able to get my knees flat to the bed with my pressed-together heels so close to my........)