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Health

Smear tests....

(74 Posts)
crimson Thu 29-Dec-11 20:39:04

Anyone dread these more and more the older they get? I've been putting my latest one off for ages, but I've booked it for next week. Feel yukky already...

greenmossgiel Sat 31-Dec-11 16:51:52

Annobel, maybe it's just as well he beat you in the election....! If you had beaten him, his wifes' examination of your botty may have been even more uncomfortable...confused!!

kittylester Sat 31-Dec-11 16:59:55

Years ago, our GP, who was also a friend, would always say something like "Isn't the price of sugar sky high nowadays" whilst doing a smear or any other sort of intimate rummaging. When I asked him why, he said that he had to say something or it would be embarrassing!! smile

crimson Sat 31-Dec-11 17:34:53

I'd forgotten about another time years ago when I went to have a smear test and the Dr who came into the room was someone that I was in a Nuclear Disarmament group with. He asked if I'd prefer someone else to do it and I agreed. maybe we should all wear paper bags over our heads at such times hmm?

kittylester Sat 31-Dec-11 17:42:38

I once had a young locum who asked if I would prefer to see the "lady doctor" By this time I had been pregnant 6 times and could have been examined in the market place if necessary! Don't feel quite the same now and I'm glad, at least from that point of view, that I had my 'bits' removed years ago. smile

crimson Sat 31-Dec-11 17:51:25

It's really hard for lady doctors, because [and I hadn't thought of this before] my cousin told me that he didn't ever want a male doctor examining him in embarrassing places either.

goldengirl Sun 01-Jan-12 11:34:33

I've had my smear test carried out by a lady doctor I also know socially and I must admit I felt it reassuring! Perhaps I'm odd hmm. She did ask whether I'd like her colleague to do it, but it honestly didn't bother me. As I said earlier we women are made the same, so what the heck?

artygran Mon 02-Jan-12 20:49:27

Going for mine tomorrow morning. New surgery, not my usual lovely practice nurse so don't know what to expect. Trouble with hip recently so not sure the knees apart thing will be a doddle either! To add insult to injury, I have to go for a mammogram on Thursday as well! Twice the discomfort and anxiety! sad

crimson Mon 02-Jan-12 21:09:04

Wondering about taking a wee dram of sherry to take just before I go in, but not sure how much I can drink if I have to drive back afterwards! I never, ever drink and drive so it shows how nervous I am. I hate waiting for the results, so it isn't as if, once it's been done you can forget about it!

crimson Tue 03-Jan-12 15:45:29

All done. Couple of tips, though. If you feel worried, nervous, tell the nurse. They really do put you at your ease. If you're post menopausal and not on hrt, ask your doctor for some pessaries to use for a couple of weeks before the test; I didn't, but it would have made it a lot easier if I had. Also, ask the nurse to use a small speculum [?....nearly wrote plectrum!]. It's in my notes for next time. I've got to go back, because there was something else worrying me, but I feel more 'in control' now. Actually felt better going to a specialist clinic rather than my GP, as I thought they were more understanding.

nanachrissy Tue 03-Jan-12 16:00:50

Well done Crimson, I'm glad it went without any problems. smile

JessM Tue 03-Jan-12 16:11:03

What kind of tune would she have played crimson had it been a plectrum?
"I'll be seeing you in all the old familiar places" maybe. Any other suggestions?

Elegran Tue 03-Jan-12 16:15:01

"Jump up and down, wave your knickers in the air" ?

Elegran Tue 03-Jan-12 16:16:30

"Yes sir, that's my baby" ?

crimson Tue 03-Jan-12 16:59:54

The only way is up?

Annika Tue 03-Jan-12 17:09:19

` Funny familiar forgotten feelings`

Elegran Tue 03-Jan-12 17:09:32

Is this the way to Amarillo?

JessM Tue 03-Jan-12 17:27:16

Born to be wild

nanachrissy Tue 03-Jan-12 17:55:45

"It's a long way to Tipperary"

Annika Tue 03-Jan-12 18:25:26

The long and winding road.

"I'm Beginning to See the Light

Greatnan Tue 03-Jan-12 20:00:28

I love you all - you are all as mad as I am!
I think it was Jo Brand who recounted that when she was in the most undignified position in the world the young doctor started asking her about her show!

JessM Tue 03-Jan-12 20:22:49

"I will survive" "Sisters are doing it..."

I was having a coil put in once in an FPA clinic and felt very faint. The young doctor then also felt faint so i was lying on the couch and he was sitting down with his head between his knees.

Annika Tue 03-Jan-12 21:24:53

I know I have said it before but I love Gransnet where else would you find women from all over the world `talking` about such personal things and turning them around so that they become funny grin

Ariadne Wed 04-Jan-12 10:12:20

Oh yes, Annika it's invaluable, and funny. Love it!

Elegran Wed 04-Jan-12 10:13:49

Oh I went down south for to see my gal (singing pollywolly doodle all the day)
In a cavern in a canyon (excavating for a mine).
Oh dear what can the matter be?
Nobody knows the trouble I've seen.
We'll meet again. don't know where don't know when but I know we'll meet again some sunny day.

Anne58 Wed 04-Jan-12 19:00:00

Oh Artygran ! The bloody mammogram! I had my first (last year, or was it the year before?) I was dreading it, as someone who cannot fill a M&S 32A bra, I was intrigued/horrified/embarrased (delete where not applicabe) as to how they were actually going to get my non-existent bosoms between the plates.

But again I make the point I made about smear tests, we are bloody lucky to have this service available to us free.

(PS The woman doing it rose admirably to the challenge, although I had no idea I could assume those positions. Unlike my smear, where our practice nurse is always amazed at the fact that I still seem to be able to get my knees flat to the bed with my pressed-together heels so close to my........)