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OH has fractured femur - not a good situation

(937 Posts)
Luckygirl Tue 26-Mar-19 10:35:34

As many of you will know, OH has had PD for many years and is very frail. He only weighs 6.5 stone. Sadly he fell yesterday and has a displaced fracture of his femur. He is not a good candidate for surgery - but there is no choice.

It is a worry that the ward do not have the air mattress that he needs and that he has at home - we had just got on top of the skin problem. He was on a trolley for 12 hours yesterday which will not have helped.

I am waiting to hear when the op will be.

Susan56 Fri 05-Apr-19 08:42:47

Lucky,I echo what Baggs and Kitty have said,print your posts off here to put in with any complaint you make.They are a clear diary of a catalogue of appalling treatment.My heart goes out to you and your husband.
I worked in the NHS for most of my working life and the way it has gone from a well oiled machine to an understaffed shambles is heartbreaking.I am so glad you are able to advocate for your husband.Like kitty I wish there was more we could to to help,you.

Charleygirl5 Fri 05-Apr-19 08:52:55

Once DH is settled in his new abode, I agree with others, you must put this catalogue of disaster together and make an appointment to see the Director of Nursing Services or whatever he/she is called nowadays. That ward must not be allowed to continue in its present state.

Please try to not allow DH to lean forward so much because he could dislocate his hip.

I know it is a big ask but I hope you had a night's sleep. Thank goodness your DDs are there.

Bathsheba Fri 05-Apr-19 09:00:04

Oh good God Lucky your post was so difficult to read, I can scarcely believe this is happening in a hospital in this country. Shocking doesn't even begin to describe the appalling treatment your poor DH has been given.

We expect to be cared for in hospital, but 'care' has been severely and completely lacking throughout your DH's stay. That hospital needs to be massively kicked up its proverbial backside. I am really so angry about this - and so scared because we will all need the NHS at some point, and this truly horrific slide into chaos doesn't augur well for any of us.

I also echo Baggs' suggestion that you print off your posts and keep them for future use - you really must file a formal complaint once your DH is safely out of their clutches.

Caro6699 Fri 05-Apr-19 09:10:21

Sorry to hear this Luckygirl and such a worry for you and your family.
As others have said the hospital will look after your husband and now you need to look after yourself.
Pleases remember to eat well and rest and let other family members take over some of the visiting and other things that need doing .
I hope that all goes well with his treatment and recovery .

Callistemon Fri 05-Apr-19 09:40:23

Someone mentioned "bring back matrons".
My friend, whose daughter was an NHS consultant, always said you could tell by how a ward was run how effective the sister in charge was.
In my experience that could be true and this ward seems to be quite chaotic. A friend has just spent a short time in a hospital in Wales and she complained about some of the bad practices on that ward despite there being several staff who were gathered around the nurses' station chatting and laughing. She did make herself rather unpopular as she was not bedbound by alerting them to other patients who were desperately calling for attention.
I was in that same hospital a while ago and both wards were well-run by efficient sisters.
A good ward sister will not allow this to happen.
I realise that there are constraints of finance but that is not the only problem - the story about your DH's medication is an example, causing problems with the ambulance transport and consequences right down the line because a staff member did not act promptly and efficiently.
I hope things improve for your DH

jura2 Fri 05-Apr-19 09:53:22

Oh Lucky, just do not know what to say. This is beyond appalling and sad, and such an ordeal for you all.

TBH I would print this 'diary' and also send a copy to Jeremy Hunt and Mrs May- and the BMA too, and one of the national papers. But of course, you won't have the time or the energy right now. This is just terrible. Hang in there, hugsxxx

Lazigirl Fri 05-Apr-19 09:56:52

Am so sorry Luckygirl it is hell and obviously should not be happening under any circumstances, to any human being. No one knows how bad it is until they are confronted with it first hand. Please try and get some support for yourself, other than daughters, who must also be suffering with you. I hope things improve when he moves and you manage to get some rest. I was almost driven to taking a video of my mum & posting on line when similar happened to her, but didn't because it would have infringed her rights & dignity.

annodomini Fri 05-Apr-19 09:58:07

Lucky, I'm so angry for you and your husband. I can only hope for an improvement when he moves to the new facility. Have you considered contacting the Care Quality Commission about the poor care your husband has received? They ought to know about this kind of mis-management.
When he is safely out of their clutches, here is the contact for the CQC.

MiniMoon Fri 05-Apr-19 10:05:06

CQC contacts page: www.cqc.org.uk/contact-us

MiniMoon Fri 05-Apr-19 10:10:31

I have read the entire thread Lucky. Although I haven't commented yet, the appalling treatment your poor husband is suffering needs to be highlighted.
I do so hope that he is moved today, with as little upset as possible.
Hugs from me to you both. flowers

annodomini Fri 05-Apr-19 10:28:57

Thanks MiniMoon. How did I manage not to add that contact to my post? blush

Sar53 Fri 05-Apr-19 11:24:04

Oh Lucky I am so sorry that your poor husband has been treated in this way. Please do as others have advised and inform as many people as possible. No one deserves this kind of treatment, whatever happened to care, compassion and kindness. The NHS may have it's problems but there is no excuse for this kind of treatment.
Big hugs to you and your daughters.

Luckygirl Fri 05-Apr-19 11:56:22

Thank you all. OH's PD consultant, who is lovely and whom we both trust implicitly has rung me twice this morning. She apologised that the rehab plan was just thrown at us by a discharge nurse without either my OH or his family being given the chance to discuss this.

We did discuss this on the phone and she was clear about the fact that he might not be able to benefit from rehab because he is simply too ill and frail; also about the poor prognosis for someone like him following such major surgery. A bed has become available on her ward, which is quieter with open visiting and where she can oversee his care. From there we can have time to discuss the next step, which is likely to be some sort of care here at home, which is undoubtedly what he will want.

I am waiting for her to ring back about this. I do not think rehab is appropriate as he has neither the strength nor the mental will to gain from this. I feel it is the right way forward and have said this. We wait and see.

Charleygirl5 Fri 05-Apr-19 12:04:09

Pleased to hear he is not being treated as "pass the parcel" and he will require and receive decent care on the new ward and with luck you will not feel as though you should be there 24/7. I am hoping that your mind is more rested since the last discussion.

I dread to think what DH's mental state is at present but with love, care and attention he also hopefully will relax.

grannyactivist Fri 05-Apr-19 12:38:01

As horrible and unacceptable as the situation was regarding the non-move to rehab, it seems that moving to the PD ward will be a much better outcome for you both. In time to come, when you're feeling stronger and able to tackle it, I do agree that a formal complaint, using your posts from here and any additional information, is in order. flowers

Ginny42 Fri 05-Apr-19 13:04:20

That seems like a far happier solution for your husband to be with someone who knows his medical history, who knows you both. You must feel very relieved that she will oversee his care. flowers

dragonfly46 Fri 05-Apr-19 13:26:28

So pleased to hear your DH is being moved to a PD ward Lucky. At least there they will be able to administer the right drugs at the right time while keeping an eye on him.

Charleygirl5 Fri 05-Apr-19 13:38:30

Will it be today? I do hope so.

nanaK54 Fri 05-Apr-19 14:37:32

I also hope it's today, your updates make me want to cry for you both (I'm not given to weeping as a rule), I continue to send kind thoughts flowers

cornergran Fri 05-Apr-19 20:23:05

Thank goodness for the PD. consultant lucky. A quiet, caring space will make such a difference to your husband and to you all. I’m hoping it was possible to move your husband today and you can now rest a bit.

Luckygirl Fri 05-Apr-19 20:29:45

He has moved to the new ward. It is an age care ward, not a specific PD ward, but the PD consultant is in charge there and knows OH very well indeed.

I cannot tell you how different the atmosphere is in there. The other 3 men have varying degrees of dementia, but are not over-loud. The nurses are not dashing back and forth doing obs, putting up drips etc. etc. It is very calm. The nurses are kind and considerate and take time to talk to the patients - one was even kneeling on the floor by a patient's bed so that she could hold his hand and hear him better. There is a nurse sitting in this bay about 75% of the time.

OH himself is a bit muddled - he is on a new drug to try and calm his paranoia, and we have to see how this might suit him. He is still paranoid, but more calmly so. In between his fearful thinking he is rational and thoughtful and we have been able to talk about the future and what his wishes are. And to reminisce a bit about our life together.

They let him stay in bed where he is comfortable and rested and have not been lugging him about to try and mobilise.

I feel a great deal happier about him being there.

nanaK54 Fri 05-Apr-19 20:39:23

That's such good news
Hoping that you sleep well tonight

Lazigirl Fri 05-Apr-19 20:46:38

What a blessing Luckygirl. Hopefully you and him have a restful night for once.

midgey Fri 05-Apr-19 21:08:18

Luckygirl my heart bleeds for you both. I hope you can both have some respite on this ward. I have been thinking of you so much.

aggie Fri 05-Apr-19 21:09:51

That is so much better for your poor OH , I hope you get some rest tonight xxx