I am looking after my husband following a cancer diagnosis this time last year.
Very (very) thankfully he is well and “stable” at the moment and I am so relieved and grateful for this. However I am finding it very hard at times to always appear to be upbeat, positive and coping with a truly sad and frightening situation on my own.
I am sure family and friends think I am coping as a I never tell them now how I really feel. My husband looks well and is completely in denial about his/our situation- and I feel everyone else is too.
I am told by everyone, including medical people that I need to live one day at a time.......”keep making memories” “enjoy every day .......”until the time comes” ........
Our adult children/friends tell me not to worry, dad is (looks) so well - what am I worried about - we all have to die sometime..... and how I could be run over by a bus tomorrow..... just don’t worry about it.
I know people mean well and no doubt they are worried too and it is their was of helping me but it is a lonely and frightening place to be when you always have to be the strong capable stoic one - especially when I very often feel exhausted and all alone. I can’t tell anyone how frightened I am at times. When I have tried to tell people I am just told not to worry, so now I don’t feel can share my thoughts for fear of appearing weak and unable to cope.
Good Morning Tuesday 19th March 2024
Do you read people's calendars and cards?