Bad news at hospital

Oh my that's an awful dilemma notoveryet but its your husbands choice to make but a difficult one to live with. We had the same dilemma last year with OH diagnosed with a large aneurysm, unlike your husband he was fairly fit and a long story short it did rupture but by the skin of his teeth came through emergency surgery and recovered.
I can completely understand how you are feeling and can only offer a hug and if you have any questions please feel free to PM me and ask away.

My Mum had a large Aortic Aneurysm found during a trip to A & E, it was very large, more than the size where op is suggested, she was 86!, they said op may kill her and that the aneurysm would 'go' at some stage (just as you state, a ticking time bomb). Well, it didn't, she died in her sleep at 88 and the PM showed the aneurysm was still in tact. ?

Three years ago I had an aortic dissection, where the aorta splits on the inside, but can cause an aneurysm.
I did not have an operation, but after a year it had closed up.
I still worry, every time I get a twinge in my back.
Good advice is not to carry anything more than 5kg, not to strain when on the toilet, not to push a shopping trolley or a vacuum cleaner, unless it's a lightweight one.

A good website is www.aorticdissection.co.uk which has info from people who have the condition. Lots of them are American. It's because there is not much information about the condition. I didn't look at it for six months.

I was told I was a ticking timb bomb, too, notoveryet. At least we are still ticking.
Good luck to your husband.
If I stop posting, you'll know what's happened!
Not tonight, though. I'm going to see I Daniel Blake.

Thank you all,you did make me smile durhamjen, have a lovely time tonight.

Two or maybe three things
My DH had the op 5 1/2 years ago and while all the heart issues are fine, (apart from dizzy spells, AF, giving up driving and breathlessness,) it was a long slow recovery and he has other problems which are in turn terminal and may be may be much more distressing. His quality of life deteriorated sharply, but to be fair there are other issues.
My MIL died in her mid 80's of a ruptured aortic aneurysm suddenly one morning, it looked as if she had gone to sleep quite painlessly while quietly reading the Sunday paper in her armchair. She was staying with her daughter ( a GP )at the time.
My sis in law had a patient not that long afterwards, late 70's, poor health but had been advised he needed a graft/repair of an aortic aneurysm. He asked her opinion. She told me afterwards that of course she had to give her professional opinion, outlining the pros and cons, the risks, the dangers of the operation, the effects on his life afterwards even assuming it was successful and of course couldn't give her PERSONAL opinion based on her mother's sad, but quick and painless demise. Personally she would have told him to go home, enjoy life and enjoy his family for as long as he was granted knowing that when the end came he would know nothing.
But who of us can make that decision. Do make sure your DH gets as much information and advice as is available before he makes his decision.
Your DH is being a brave man and you are being a brave wife.

All the best notoveryet enjoy the small things together

It is good that he is clear about his decision and, difficult though it is, all you can do is support him and enjoy your lives together.

My mil had same she kept having checks eventually died of something not connected .
It is a worry best wishes to you both?

notyetover sorry to read this. That's awful

Although he has decided for now not to have surgery he is still able to change his mind if he wishes in the future. Will another scan be done in say six months to monitor the situation?

notoveryet Your OH is between a rock and a hard place there. When it comes to the crunch it is his decision. Did you get a doctor who fully explained all the risks involved given any other health issues he may have?
I would certainly want someone to explain to me in detail about the pros and cons of this. This is a difficult time for you.

notoveryet, what an awful day for you both,take care of each other x

To answer your questions, we had e everything explained to us, the risks of operating seem very high, ongoing monitoring will take place but there seems very little can be done except to maintain the best possible lifestyle. I do appreciate your good wishes, it's hard staying strong for him and the family.

Today is our silver wedding anniversary. Should be a happy time but I just want to cry. I wish he'd been able to have the surgery, just feel I'm waiting for it to happen.

You must celebrate the fact that you have had 25 happy years together and don't look too far into the future. It really should be a good day for you, it is an achievment to be happy about.

*annsixty is so right. All the time you spend together,notoveryet will be a gift to you both.

I have read that all men (and some women) should have a diagnostic ultrasound scan for early diagnosis of aortic aneurism. My father died suddenly of an undiagnosed AA which ruptured. We never had a chance to say goodbye and even after 27 years, I would give anything to be able to have had a last few days with him. My sister has had a small AA diagnosed and recommended that I and our other sister should have the scan as these can be hereditary. My GP agreed and I had the scan which happily showed no aneurism, although it did show up a quantity of gallstones which were news to me!

Staying strong is all very well and good, but when you feel sad and need to let it all out, there's some lovely folks here on GN notoveryet wiling to listen

You've been very brave and unselfish notoveryet, and not tried to talk your husband into an operation. If he has had an in depth explanation of process and risk and decided against it wiould be hard to sway him. I'm assuming here that you two have talked it through and understand each other's viewpoint. I can only agree with recent posters, yes, take what enjoyment you can from your anniversary. The future is uncertain, not knowing is one of the hardest things, but you do know the good things you have experienced. There will be times to reminisce about and celebrate. although of course there is also fear for the future, why wouldn't there be? I agree totally with Anya, don't bottle the worry and fear up. Anyone doing that risks it tumbling out one day when it would be better if it didn't. Please share it with us when you need to, lots of listeners to support you quietly. .

Excellent posts and advice so won't repeat. Just want to say my heart goes out to you- I just cannot imagine what you are going through...

notoveryet I also sympathise with you and your husband. There is a lot of support and good advice on this thread. My husband has an aortic aneurysm and leukaemia. He has regular check ups (for both conditions) and will have another scan later this month. Live this day in the best way that you know how. Enjoy all the simple pleasures that come your way. I do my best to remain positive and carry on regardless. For you, an armful of. I would so like them to be real.

Congratulations on your silver wedding, notoveryet. Put all negative and worrying thoughts away just for now and try not to let them spoil your day.

on your anniversary, but take heart and live up to your name Notoveryet x

Thank you all so very much, we have a family meal tonight so looking forward to that. The flowers mean a lot, you are all very kind and I send my thoughts to those who are also living through difficult times.