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Health

Grand daughter’s size

(53 Posts)
Rosyanne Mon 15-Jul-19 15:30:07

Our 10year old GD cannot seem to stop grazing. She doesn’t exercise anymore and refuses to let me adjust her school uniform. She is miserable and very emotional. We have tried to tell her she is beautiful, tried with positive images but we are getting worn down with trying to find a way to help her. We all live together, DH, DiL,3 grand daughters and self. DS works away a lot. Any advice please?

Callistemon Mon 15-Jul-19 15:46:35

It will soon be the summer holidays so can you get them out and about a lot, doing outside activities (or inside with lots of physical activity if the weather is bad)?

It's such an awkward age, is she worried about going on to senior school, is she being bullied at school? Girls can be horrid to each other sometimes.
And her hormones may have started making their presence felt already.

NanaandGrampy Mon 15-Jul-19 15:47:02

That's so sad for her- kids are so mean to one another. Our granddaughter takes after all the women in our family and has a tendency to put weight on easily.

She was a grazer too ( as a lot of children seem to be these days). My daughter solved it with a combination of things. Firstly , snack time was limited to twice a day in school holidays and weekends. Both children got a snack box and they could choose what they wanted but that was all there was for a week. If they ate it all in the early part of the week there was nothing more.

She reasoned that they don't snack randomly at school so there was no reason to do so at home.

The second part was that she took her shopping to buy ingredients for healthy meals, they discussed healthy choices as they shopped and cooked together. She encouraged her to try new foods and widen her tastes to beyond the normal thing children seem to be fed. She taught her how to cook these healthier choices not just for herself but for her family.

There was never a mention of weight , it was all about being healthy and making good choices and seeing a treat as exactly that - a treat.

The last part was they started doing more things as a family but not calling it exercise. They tried Geocaching - like a long walk with a treasure hunt combined. They got a new dog that NEEDS a long walk, they spent more time doing things like camping and spending time at the beach etc. Her Dad introduced her to badminton and they do that together.

Its worked well enough that our other daughter has implemented a similar routine to make sure the little boys know about making good choices, maybe it might work for your family?

paddyann Mon 15-Jul-19 17:47:09

have you checked her height and weight against the childrens charts / My almost 10 year old looks quite chunky but she is absolutley spot on for her age .Sometimes they look a bit heavy and then they take a strecth and they're fine .

Sara65 Mon 15-Jul-19 18:11:54

One of my granddaughters, despite swimming several times a week, gymnastics, dancing, always looks very solid compared to her willowy cousins, she looks gorgeous to me, but she’s never going to be stick thin

wildswan16 Mon 15-Jul-19 18:12:31

In order to graze there has to be stuff in the house to graze on. So make sure there isn't.

As a family be active.

Don't make an issue of it. Don't mention weight.

EllanVannin Mon 15-Jul-19 18:18:33

Fruit in the house instead. If a child is hungry they'll soon devour an apple or banana.

Callistemon Mon 15-Jul-19 18:29:35

.Sometimes they look a bit heavy and then they take a strecth and they're fine .
Yes, they look a bit chunky then suddenly have a growth spurt upwards. Although I wish my DGD would look a bit chunky - she is tiny but eats well!

Grazing should be healthy, eg fruit or cut-up veg if she has a habit of grazing.

Doodle Mon 15-Jul-19 19:34:25

Your DGD must be able to rely on you. Try not to make her feel you think she is overweight. 10 and 11 are years when children can easily bulk up until they have another growth spurt. How about some form of exercise that she enjoys done regularly over the school holidays. Swimming, dancing etc. You could help her learn salsa or some sort of physical dancing.

Farmor15 Mon 15-Jul-19 20:22:04

We always ate healthily when children were young, but youngest daughter started to put on weight aged about 8, despite not appearing to eat differently from her siblings. It was partly the pre-puberty growth spurt, but unfortunately the growth was more outward than upward and she has continued to be somewhat overweight.

Recently she admitted her snacking habit started when older brother told her where biscuits and chocolate were hidden and helped her get them! He of course has stayed fairly slim.?

Apart from the illicit snacks, daughter always enjoyed her food- particularly dinners and would eat quite large portions. It’s difficult to suggest to a teenager to eat less when the rest of the family seem to be able to eat the same amount without putting on weight. And of course there’s always the worry of eating disorders.

Grammaretto Mon 15-Jul-19 22:08:29

Our German volunteer was shocked when we spent the morning with the primary school children, teacher and adult helpers. At 11 am he sat the children down and told then they could have their snacks. Only 3 had brought fruit. The rest had crisps, fizzy drinks, yoghurt etc. This wasn't lunch but an unnecessary meal midmorning. They had lunch later on.

BlueBelle Mon 15-Jul-19 22:52:30

Let her graze but only have low fat stuff in the house, grazing on grapes and oranges will be so much better than crisps and biscuits Pretend it’s you or mum or dad who need them I find fizzy flavoured water which is 0 calories useful as a drink, lollies instead of ice cream, lots of little changes that will help everyone in the house

SpringyChicken Mon 15-Jul-19 22:56:24

The bottom line is your granddaughter is eating more calories than she burns. There is no reason for most of the population to be overweight, despite what excuses people give - it runs in the family etc. A grazing habit can notch up an awful lot of extra calories.
This may come across as blunt but which adult is providing the snacks in the first place? Does said person also have a weight problem? It isn't being kind and loving to stock the house with temptations. The problem lies with the adults and they should be making permanent changes to help your granddaughter.
Perhaps there could be a household ban on eating between meals - everyone taking part to show solidarity.

BradfordLass72 Tue 16-Jul-19 07:00:11

And it is uninformed opinions and attitudes like those offered here by SpringyChicken which are probably causing your grand-daughter's misery.

As many people on GN know, I spent a decade researching this wth experts, in order to write 2 books on the subject.

If everyone treated your darling grand-daughter with the same love and respect you do, she would not be unhappy.

It is the brainwashing all around us, generated by the diet, fashion and pharmaceutical industries, which lead to
the assumptions that being overweight is unhealthy and, moreover, a deadly sin.

We cannot change the world, sadly but we can arm our children against the cruelty of foolish people.

If you PM me, I can send you copies of my books - for free. They have helped many children and everything is based on solid research.

Riverwalk Tue 16-Jul-19 07:24:23

Bradfordlass everyone, including Springychicken, has given sensible and kindly advice, IMO.

No one wants all children to be stick thin but there is nothing to commend in allowing children to graze and get even fatter, leading to an obese adulthood in many cases.

Yes, there is an assumption that being overweight is unhealthy for good reason.

jeanie99 Tue 16-Jul-19 08:12:27

Living together I can see you are with the children's problems all the time and this will weigh on your mind. We all want our GC to be happy individuals growing up.
I did wonder other than the overweight issue if you she may be having problems at school, perhaps you could have a quiet word with her teacher.
Keep to the healthy eating plan for all the family setting good examples but don't keep on about it all the time.
One of the best things to do I know when my family were growing up is to try and introduce her to different interests. Once a child has an interest you would be surprised how things tend to work out.
This does to some degree cost money but is worth the investment in the child's future.
Although not hyperactive my son never stopped from an early age. We introduced him to martial arts which brought outside discipline into his life and this made a huge difference. He actually went on doing this into adulthood and ended up teaching.
I took our daughter to swimming lessons at 5yrs old and she became a member of our local swimming club and swam regularly in competitions.
There are so many interesting things our children can do these days I'm sure your GD would find something she would enjoy doing and more than that she will make new friends from outside her usual set.
Best of luck

BlueBelle Tue 16-Jul-19 08:24:02

I do believe there is a gene that makes some people more prone to gaining weight I have a large family near me mum and dad are both very overweight people and most of the children (8) are, but the middle boy and then the second youngest girl (who has a very overweight twin) are both slim they presumably eat the same food so surely there must be a gene those two haven’t inherited
I know it’s also about poor eating habits too
I agree with bradfordlass it’s definitely about not going on about it or watching they don’t have this or that whilst trying to alter the diet and exercise rather gently

luluaugust Tue 16-Jul-19 09:15:18

I agree with not using the words diet and exercise, these really shouldn't be used for a 10 year old. Do away with snacks in the house you will all benefit and is it possible to walk to school, the shops etc. School holidays nearly here get her out in the park, the beach anywhere really. Sounds like the dreaded hormones are coming in to play as well.

Yes BlueBell I think what you receive from the gene pool can make gaining and losing weight difficult. Some of our family are almost underweight while others have inherited GG's legs which seem to make all the difference!

SpringyChicken Tue 16-Jul-19 09:35:06

BradfordLass72, am I uninformed? I wrote from experience as one of those rare people, I was a fat , very fat child in the early sixties. I remember how miserable I felt and my mother soothingly saying it was just puppy fat whilst she continued to buy sweets and over feed me daily. And I was still fat when I started senior school and had to have my uniform specially made for me. It didn’t arrive until the morning of my first day at school and it was too long but I had to wear it anyway as there was no time to shorten it.
And one day, the lightbulb moment came and I realised I was struggling to eat the second pork chop on my plate and I was rather tired of an ice lolly every day. I felt I was going to be fat forever. And nothing changed at home until my mother and I argued about me leaving that extra pork chop and me screeching at her ‘it’s not normal to have two pork chops ‘.
So the advice I offered does not come from ignorance, it comes from bitter experience. I understand how Rosyanne’s GD feels. She does not need the focus of attention to be on her weight alone but she needs practical action. Solid support from the family, everyone doing the same thing in cutting out the grazing. And I stand by what I said, someone is providing the means for the weight gain, a ten year old does not do the food shop.

SpringyChicken Tue 16-Jul-19 09:39:12

I should add, I was the correct weight by the time I was fourteen and life was wonderful then. I was not fat because of other issues making me unhappy. I was miserable because of being fat and my mother over fed me.

Callistemon Tue 16-Jul-19 09:43:12

Grammaretto I am surprised at that - the DGC's primary school only allow fruit (which can be bought) as a mid-morning snack. However, when they get to senior school, many seem to be attached to leisure centres where there are vending machines available.

if everyone treated your darling granddaughter with the same love and respect you do, she would not be unhappy

BradfordLass
Wouldn't it be an ideal world if that were to happen! However, bullying does go on and, if this is happening at school, it needs to be sorted out if it carries out next year.

In the meantime, there is six weeks in which to encourage healthy eating, no fizzy drinks and regular exercise.

Jane10 Tue 16-Jul-19 09:49:02

It occurs to me that in the past, perhaps especially during the war, people smoked much more which suppresses appetites. Smoking is much reduced now and there is ready availability of fat and sugar laden snacks.
It's hard to beat your genes though!

NotSpaghetti Tue 16-Jul-19 09:49:46

NanaandGrampy - good ideas here.

SpringyChicken is right. Much of the choice as to what a 10 year old eats is the parent’s. Are you eating cakes and biscuits? What sort of snacks live in the cupboard that she can graze on?
Take a look at what’s being bought and buy carrots and cucumbers for snacking. Most young people I know will munch through an apple or some red pepper sticks.
Obviously these are still extra calories but not so many as a chocolate bar or bag of crisps and they are at least nutritious.
Good luck!

Callistemon Tue 16-Jul-19 09:50:59

BradfordLass I do take your point, though, about weight and being healthy.
It doesn't sound as if this child is obese, but has got into the habit of 'grazing' and has put on some weight.
I agree that it's best not to make an issue of it, just arrange things differently so no unhealthy snacks are available and lots of fun activities involving exercise are organised.

Being small and skinny has its disadvantages too as if a child is ill they can become alarmingly thin very quickly.

Callistemon Tue 16-Jul-19 10:02:01

Springychicken I think that many people remembered war-time and post-war rationing so we were encouraged to eat every last mouthful on our plates. An abundance of food must have seemed a wonderful thing to your mum and I don't think we thought too much about calories in those days! I was a very skinny child always encouraged to eat up, a habit which has been hard to break. Well done to you.