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Black Dog Gang 4

(228 Posts)
Anniebach Mon 19-Aug-19 21:46:12

Hi, new thread x

Doodle Mon 19-Aug-19 21:48:35

Oh annie I am so sorry to hear about your friend. What a shock. At least she has you to talk to. I imagine her son will be coming over from America straight away.

Anniebach Mon 19-Aug-19 21:56:31

Doodle, he flew over for the funeral then went home. She has no family, no in-laws. Doesn’t find mixing with people easy.

I will phone around tomorrow and see what support I can find for her.

Bathsheba Mon 19-Aug-19 22:22:26

Oh my God, Annie, what a terrible, terrible tragedy. The poor woman sad

Joce345 Mon 19-Aug-19 22:27:11

Aww Annie how sad your poor friend, she will understand where you are coming from. You can stay in touch on the phone it’s always good to talk, she will know you are there for her Annie . God bless you both

Anniebach Mon 19-Aug-19 22:31:58

Yes a terrible tragedy Bathsheba I am so worried about her.

When I say she was dependant on him I mean very dependant . I don’t want her to stop the chemotherapy but how she will go to the hospital on her own ? I have to find support for her . I insisted she sees her GP tomorrow, she promised she would.

So far I have thought of , her buying one of those emergency
pendants. I will phone Cruse, and ask my local MIND if they will contact a branch where she lives .

Any suggestions most welcome

Anniebach Mon 19-Aug-19 22:34:02

Joce I will contact her daily and hope and pray I can find support for her.

Sorry, how is everyone here x

Joce345 Tue 20-Aug-19 08:57:17

Annie if she gets in touch with her hospital they will provide transport for her chemotherapy. There is always McMillan who will do all they can to help her..

KatyK Tue 20-Aug-19 09:33:25

Sorry to hear this. Just jumping in to say that, after my DH was treated for cancer, he wanted to give something back. He found a local organisation that provided lifts for cancer patients to appointments for a minimal charge. He signed up and worked for them. There may be something similar near you.

Anniebach Tue 20-Aug-19 10:36:35

KatyK she lives in Cornwall I am in Wales. She needs someone who knows the area who can advise her on what help is there for her.

KatyK Tue 20-Aug-19 10:44:30

I see Annie. Maybe Macmillan as suggested could point her in the right direction.

Nonnie Tue 20-Aug-19 11:13:56

OOPs I started another one before I saw this. I'll try to get it taken down.

So sorry for your friend annie, DS died suddenly and without a known cause so I can understand the shock. I can also understand how you feel because of your history. Can't offer any help, just have to keep on keeping on.

Anniebach Tue 20-Aug-19 11:23:58

Thank you all x

I do think one person she can trust and who can advise her is what she needs, she has been too dependent on one person for so many years, is in shock, grieving , frightened, confused,
someone who can guide her through the help that is available

Joce345 Tue 20-Aug-19 12:10:06

Aww Annie she will need someone ASAP, bless her she won’t know which way to turn. There will be plenty where she lives to help and support her, it’s getting them in touch with her, and her with them ..

Dawn22 Tue 20-Aug-19 15:54:49

Thinking of you Nonnie and your most difficult of experiences. Take care as best you can. Dawn xx

Annie you are so kind and supportive to your dear friend and an inspiration to us all to be there for other people if we possibly can. Take care of yourself as well, as best you can and your friend as well. Thinking of you from Dawn xx

nanny2507 Tue 20-Aug-19 17:04:57

aww annie so sad. Is there a vicar/priest that can visit. even if not religious its just a shoulder to lean on?

Nonnie Tue 20-Aug-19 17:15:27

Thanks Dawn I know I'm not alone but that doesn't bring him back.

Anniebach Tue 20-Aug-19 19:01:04

Hi all and thank you x

Found a supporter ,my friend phoned and said she likes her

Now how is everyone x

Doodle Tue 20-Aug-19 20:51:21

Trying my mindful best not to worry. A bit up and down. Wish my mind would stop ruminating on problems all the time.
Glad you found someone for your friend annie. How are you?

nanny2507 Tue 20-Aug-19 21:04:43

Good evening everyone x ...mixed emotions today..I dont know how to explain...here goes...when I'm alone I am weary...tired of being me. Sick of being fat..sick of being ugly..sick of being me. When I'm with people I'm happy..i laugh..I joke..but the second they go..im me again but yet I have no desire to be around people

Anniebach Tue 20-Aug-19 21:30:25

Doodle it is difficult to stop ruminating on problems, are they problems which need sorting out very soon ?

nanny. I will be brave and ask so please reply not with your thoughts but with facts , pretend you are one of your friends answering for you ok ?

Are you overweight? if so is the extra weight caused by physical health problems or by comfort eating ? And I do say
if x

SalsaQueen Tue 20-Aug-19 21:39:17

AnnieHow terrible for your friend. That's a dreadful way for anyone to die. I hope she gets some help. x

Nonnie Sorry to hear that your DS died suddenly. I can't imagine how awful that must be. x

Nanny are you on any antidepressants? I can empathise, as I have days like that myself, but I'm on antidepressants and they do help me. It helps me that I see my family and friends, too. I get those same feelings and thoughts that you describe, when I'm alone. Please consider seeing a doctor, though. I wrote all my "symptoms" down, passed the list to my GP, as I couldn't speak, just sat sobbing. Don't be so hard on yourself. x

Joce345 Tue 20-Aug-19 21:43:00

Well nanny I don’t for one second think you are ugly, that is a very sad word and there are few people that are truly ugly. Every one looks in the mirror.. look deeper ugly!! Do you really think you are. I am very plain and fat but not at all ugly I love and care so much..

nanny2507 Tue 20-Aug-19 21:48:07

annie yes very overweight about 4 stone...its pure greed. Coupled with zero motivation and zero willpower...salsa I'm on 120mg of duloxitine joce yes I'm ugly. I believe I'm lovely inside but not outside..but yet you are judged by your outside xx

Anniebach Tue 20-Aug-19 22:02:23

nanny thank you, x

I have suggested several times you see your GP, please do,
Salsa was right, write things down and give to your GP,

And you are not ugly , I think depressed x