NO MOTIVATION AFTER BROKEN HIP

Well, for a start, you could tell him to make his own cup of tea! Even modest exercise around the house would help. The more you do for him, the more you are enabling him to sit and do nothing.

He should be going to physio and have exercises to do at home. I’m afraid my DH isn’t much of a carer and I am convinced that one of the reasons I made such a speedy and good recovery after I had a hip replacement was that he did very little for me

He will heal all the faster for some exercise daily, did he get notes from the hospital outlining what he should be doing?

Spot on geekesse.
The more you do,the more he will let you.

The more he exercises now, the better the outcome. Could he walk a short distance, if you accompanied him to give confidence? Each day, walk a little further, perhaps with rests along the way, if park benches allow? There are recommended exercises online for hip replacement patients:-

www.youtube.com/watch?v=39e4zlYdXf0

Some hospitals run follow up physio exercise classes, too, which your surgery staff should know about. Good luck!

I got over my hip op really quickly and I think it was due to my being carer for my OH , I was up and down the stairs like a yo yo !
Don’t bring his cup of tea to him , get him to move to the kitchen for it , I know you said he wasn’t very active before , and I find that now I am on my own I’m not as active , no motivation !

Remove the television from the bedroom and stop carrying cups of tea upstairs for him.

Breaking a hip is a traumatic experience and pain is to be expected but her should be taking painkillers and should be doing his physio to get the circulation going to the bone. I think you need to do some tough love stuff

After 5 months he should be walking unaided. I have had both hips and both knees replaced. He really needs to wakeup. STOP waiting on him now. He is taking advantage of you. It is painful to exercise at the beginning but you have to work through it. Men always do seem to be more resistant to making the effort needed. Not my words, the words of a nurse, she said 3 women patients caused less trouble than one man. If he doesn't make the effort now it will be too late. Don't enable this laziness. Be firm... Good luck

Hopikins
Totally agree! As an aside, I’m up in bad pain again with my bloomin knee & hip pain tonight. Not been to docs yet just managed on own painkillers.
I think I have osteoporosis but have not been able to get appointment face to face yet. I was wondering hopikins how long it took for you to get your new knees & hips after first knowing you needed them, if it’s not too personal. I’m fearing the future here as I’m only 54 and feel like my joints have let me down too early

geekesse It is just about possible to make a cup of tea if you are using crutches, as long as there is a counter for you to hang on to if necessary and a nearby place to lean the crutches. That presupposes that parkersheen's partner can get down – and then back up – the stairs. It can be done on crutches. For the less confident, the best alternative is to go down/up step-by-step on your bottom, sliding the crutches beside you, but I am not sure how uncomfortable that might be with a healing broken hip or how hard or easy it might be to stand up again. Once you have made your cup of tea, you have to stay where you are to drink it because you cannot use a pair of crutches and carry a cup of liquid at the same time.

He will have been shown how to get up and down the stairs , getting down by sitting on the stairs isn’t an option ! Just putting the poorly foot down first and hanging onto the bannisters to bring the other foot down is the way to do it , sitting on the stairs bends your hip more than the recommended 90degrees
The Physiotherapist has been mentioned by the OP so they should have made sure he can manage the stairs

parkersheen, I'm sure the doctors and physios have also told your partner than the less he moves the longer the hip and all its connecting tissues will take to heal and get comfortable.

Is there a chance you could speak to the physio or to your GP so that your partner can get some professional encouragement to help himself?

absent, I had a hip replacement a few years ago. I lived alone in a house with stairs, so I’ve gone through the whole healing process without someone to wait on me hand and foot. It’s actually not that hard to manage stairs with crutches, and a nice firm kitchen chair means you can drink tea without having to carry it to another room. Yes, it’s hard work to begin with, so a lazy person may need a bit of encouragement. But there’s no excuse for encouraging someone to stay incapacitated by running round after them.

The only physio I was prescribed after my hip replacement was to walk a bit further each day. First day, it was past one other house, the next, past two houses. After six weeks I handed my crutches back to the hospital. I was 64, so not that much younger than the OP's DH.

Lack of motivation is often linked to depression. Does that mean GP visit or even medication?

Pre-hip what did he enjoy doing? Is there a carrot that can be dangled?

Perhaps the help of a private physio 2 or 3 times a week would help, if you can afford it, to show him exactly how to do things, especially up and down stairs, and give him specific things to do to help motivate him.

did he break his hip falling? Is he scared of falling again? Has he always had a problem with using pain relief? I think you need to be talking to him and not just "why aren't you making more effort" but more "I am worried about you, you don't seem to be yourself, is there something wrong?" For many folk, a fall that breaks something is scarey and they are terrified of it happening again.

Thank you all for your replies. To be clear, my partner did not have a hip replacement which I am aware can heal pretty quickly. I had a knee replacement myself over a year ago and they had me up and walking next day (ouch). I have arthritis in the other knee too so I have to battle through pain on stairs etc. However my partner fell on the stairs and broke his hip and had it 'pinned'. He was told not to put weight on it for 6 weeks and then just a bit at a time. Physio and Doc said that elective surgery is much quicker to heal than accident or trauma because if you have elective surgery (hip replacement etc) you are prepared for the after effects. I may be expecting too much of him and yes, greenlady102 I think he may be not unreasonably scared that it will happen again and just doesn't feel confident. Don't think he would go for private physio Kali2 and yes, Baggs I have spoken with the Physio but he said he wished he could bottle motivation but sadly he can't. I will cut back on what I am doing for him though and hope for the best.

Apologies if someone has already asked this........what would he do if you weren't there?
He does sound a bit of a mardy, self obsessed couch potato to be honest and the more he lounges the more weight he will gain, his muscles will weaken and the new hip will have been a total waste of time.

A stronger pain killer from his doctor administered by yourself so you are aware how much he must take until healing takes place. I can understand his reluctance to move about when in so much discomfort.