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Nephew very ill, sister distraught

(20 Posts)
pen50 Tue 05-Dec-23 12:07:53

My nephew has just been admitted to hospital after several days of excruciating pain and being sent home with paracetamol and antibiotics. He's apparently got one dead testicle and possibly cancer in the other. He's 24, and an only child. My sister and his father are, obviously, feeling devastated. Any advice? I live 120 miles away so at the moment I can't offer physical support, but I do want to help in anyway I can.

WhatamIdoinghere Tue 05-Dec-23 12:20:58

All I can suggest is phone her and listen; hopefully others might have better suggestions but I just wanted you to know I've read, and my heart goes out to you and them xxx

sodapop Tue 05-Dec-23 12:36:47

Poor chap, I hope they can help him. Just be there for your sister and brother in law pen50 let them talk it out with you on the phone or face time etc. I have been in a similar situation and know how much it helped my daughter to vent her feelings and talk things over.

pascal30 Tue 05-Dec-23 12:47:28

The survival rate for testicular cancer is very high. I would phone her and be a supportive listener.. she needs time to adjust to the shock and obviously be there for her son..

SueDonim Tue 05-Dec-23 13:21:52

We’ve been in a similar situation and it’s hellish, no two ways about it. Definitely pick up the phone, always checking with your sister whether this is a good time to talk.

If it is the diagnosis no one wants to hear, then one aspect which may not cross their minds right now is fertility. Asking if there is time for sperm-harvesting for the future could give some hope, going forward.

Thinking of you all. flowers

welbeck Tue 05-Dec-23 14:03:35

if it were my relative, i wouldn't mention fertility.
that's for the medical people to address.
just give a listening ear and offer any help.

crazyH Tue 05-Dec-23 14:18:29

I doubt fertility is their main concern at the moment. Hope your nephew gets the necessary treatment for the cancer. 💐

Cabbie21 Tue 05-Dec-23 14:51:28

My step- son has had two lots of testicular cancer and is fine now. Just to encourage you. But it is hard to go through.

merlotgran Tue 05-Dec-23 15:08:36

When I received my daughter’s cancer diagnosis which came out of nowhere one of the things I found very hard was talking on the phone so don’t be surprised if your sister finds it difficult to communicate even though she will appreciate your support.

Shock will be at the forefront of their minds until they have fully absorbed the situation so just let her know you are there for her even though you don’t live nearby and let her set the pace.

Sending my best wishes to you all.

BigBertha1 Tue 05-Dec-23 15:16:35

Pen50 I am so sorry just having gone through emergency surgery with our daughter we can guess how they and you must be feeling. Lots of good advice on here. I hope things settle down with a clear medical plan soon on how this young man is going to be helped.

kittylester Tue 05-Dec-23 15:19:49

And maybe suggest the contact a cancer support charity for any questions they may have.

Germanshepherdsmum Tue 05-Dec-23 16:03:32

Years ago I worked with a young man who had testicular cancer. He made a full recovery. By now treatments are doubtless even more successful. I can but imagine the shock you all feel after this sledgehammer blow. I hope all goes well and if I may I will remember you all in my prayers.

nanaK54 Tue 05-Dec-23 16:26:09

Sending kindest thoughts flowers

vintage1950 Tue 05-Dec-23 16:37:41

flowers flowers to you, your sister and your nephew.

lixy Tue 05-Dec-23 16:44:46

Same age as my son was diagnosed with a skin cancer. It's hard to think about anything else as you all go through the tough journey back to good health.
Will be thinking of you and your family; keep in touch.

silverlining48 Tue 05-Dec-23 17:30:20

Testicular cancer usually has s good outcome so try not to worry too much. Just support your sisters but heed Merlots comment about phone calls, when my dd was diagnosed with cancer I didn’t really want unexpected phone calls. Maybe check if she’s ok if you call at such and such time.
I wish your nephew a good recovery.

Shelflife Tue 05-Dec-23 17:38:21

Sending kind thoughts to you all.💐💐💐

HelterSkelter1 Tue 05-Dec-23 17:47:27

Are you in contact with her on WhatsApp or Messenger normally?
If you are, its a good way for her to update you with what's happening.
When I was diagnosed it was exhausting to keep repeating myself to everyone who rang and was such a relief to be able to put everything in writing. Before I did that people were asking questions I couldnt answer which was very upsetting...or making suggestions or telling me about their next door neighbour's sister who had the same etc etc.
So via Messenger I was able to tell anyone as much as I wanted them to know and say that I would keep in touch as I knew more.

In your case you could tell her how concerned you are for them all and say that you will wait for her to contact you anytime day or night when she wants to. Best wishes for your nephew's health, treatment and recovery.

BlueBelle Tue 05-Dec-23 17:48:03

All that others have said and hang on for now to the words ‘possibly may’ hard to I know but don’t go ahead of the diagnosis ’

62Granny Tue 05-Dec-23 18:12:45

My DH had testicle cancer in his mid 30s he had the offending testicle removed and a false one put in and about four weeks of radiotherapy to mop up any stray cells, he is now 68 and although he has other health problems nothing to do with the cancer. Also a friend of ours had pain and got it checked out but was found to have a twisted testicle not cancer, my husband didn't have any pain but he felt a dragging feeling. Our friend on the other hand had a lot pain. It was a simple operation but a few weeks recovering before the radiotherapy.