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Black Dog 20

(1000 Posts)
Doodle Fri 22-Dec-23 22:55:04

For the support, understanding and sharing of mental health issues.
All are welcome. We treat each other with kindness.

Doodle Fri 22-Dec-23 22:59:23

Sweetpeasue sorry you had such a traumatic day with the doctors receptionist. Sounds as though it all worked out well in the end and your DH is helping a lot. Good you have been listened to. That always helps.
Sorry can’t post much tonight. DH has been in agony with his foot and I’m trying to help. Just saw the old thread had run to 1000 already. Can’t believe it. Didn’t want to leave anyone searching so started a new one.
Night night Wyllow and all sleep well xx

Sweetpeasue Fri 22-Dec-23 23:27:59

Doodle Your poor DH .So sorry about his terribly painful foot. I so hope it will Improve soon. You will be past yourself.
Nadateturbe Thankyou so much. Unable to say much more right now.
Wyllow Love as always.x

Wyllow3 Fri 22-Dec-23 23:32:11

Night night. Love back as always BD's.

Whiff Sat 23-Dec-23 07:27:48

Doodle 20 already shows how much this thread is needed.

Sorry so many of you are having problems with GP appointments. I am lucky I picked a good one and only because the bus stops opposite and the pharmacy is on the opposite corner and delivers.

Yesterday started with a UTI spoke to the receptionist and asked if the Dr would do a prescription for antibiotics only 2 work on me and need 7 day course. She phoned back 2 hours later to say a prescription had been sent to the pharmacy and my daughter went to fetch it to get them to me quicker.

Why is it when you need help it always happens on a Friday or bank holiday 🤷.

Sorry can't remember who said their husband had been given morphine patches but they didn't work. How long had your husband been using them as they take 5-7 days to work probably also it depends on the strength of the patch. Patches don't work straight away unlike morphine tablets or even better the liquid. But you are only allowed to have a smaller dose of liquid because of how quickly it works . Morphine tablets are slow release and takes a few days to work fully. If I remember correctly it they weren't being used for cancer pain. Sorry having a brain foggy morning. But some other pain.

If he still wants to try the patches a higher dose can be prescribed but they do not give instance relief.

Like I said got a foggy brain this morning and probably got mugged up with another thread . Sorry if I have .

Sweetpeasue Sat 23-Dec-23 09:45:45

Whiff Oh I hope your UTI gets cleared up soon for you and you're not in too much pain with it. Like me, the Nitrifurantoin usually does it's magic but takes a day or so to kick in. What would we do without these precious drugs? You are on the right thread Whiff, despite the brain fog. It's Doodle's DH that tried the morphine patch. Hope you're soon feeling better.

Had such a bad night with worry .So anxious. things crowding in on me. Not able to be the mother my sons want or I want to be. Wedding arrangements that I've been told of a week ago . I can't do .

I fall short of others here. But now I'm mentally not stable enough either. Can't cope and getting scared.Cant go into group at PM. Dr told us I'd have 1 to 1 with PM but have different appt for group. No way. It's definite I can't. Panicky feelings. DH is being supportive but he can't look after me and be expected to look after other things too. I need to be assertive enough to protect him too.

Hope everyone gets done what they want to do today. It's only 1 day so don't get caught up in worry. Xx

Sweetpeasue Sat 23-Dec-23 13:52:52

Realised I've told everyone else not to worry after me worrying my head off.
Not thinking straight sorry.

nadateturbe Sat 23-Dec-23 14:16:31

Sweetpeasue I'm not sure what you're saying. Will you have 1 to 1 and also a group meeting. If so, why can you not go to the group? Could it possibly be helpful.
You are the best mother you can be at the minute with all your pain. I'm sure your sons love you and know you love them.
The only thing to worry about right now is your health.
You will cope. You have coped so far with so much.
When you feel panicky, perhaps do some breathing exercises, and remember you are not alone.
I wonder if you can afford it, could you talk to a private counsellor about how you feel. Sometimes talking and sharing is enough to help. But you can always do that here. Sending love and hugs.x

nadateturbe Sat 23-Dec-23 14:21:33

Doodle thank you for the new thread.
I'm sorry about your husband. Poor man, it never ends.
Whiff my surgery is good too. Amazing how they can vary. I'm sure the antibiotics will work quickly. The brain thing is awful isn't it? I'm sure my family think I'm just making excuses when I say it's brain fog.

Sweetpeasue Sat 23-Dec-23 16:34:52

Nadateturbe Sorry I realise my message wasn't put well.
PM Dr told us I would see this other person in the PM team 1 to 1 as I have terrible fear and anxiety about going into a social situation with people I don't know. I can't face going into a group. She knew that and said I'd see him on my own. The letter I got yesterday gave an appt for this group. I can't talk about the pain without getting really upset and shaking because of the cause .
I get pain every day ,particularly bad on morning and am unable to be with DGS at those times. Wedding venue an hr and a half from here. Being asked to do things I know I'm unable so now worrying about it all. Upset about PM letting me down. Not what I thought it was going to be. Thought they'd find out cause of pain but the letter said they believe it's 'central sensitisation*. All the time I've had pain it's somehow wired into my brain and many different pelvic nerves fireing off and causing pain with bladder and bowel. They seem to be making assumptions(which for all I know may be correct and does sound plausible) without hearing any more from me , such as monitoring pain in a diary for them. Don't know what I expected. But letter indicated I was still under Urology which I'm not.

I can't think straight at all. DH took me out for few things in supermarket after pain eased with painkillers ,had toasted t-cake and felt really sick so was sick again when got home.
I'm so sorry everyone-its Christmas and I didn't mean to lose it.
I'll be OK. I just had hell of a night. I'll be seeing Psychologist for weekly counselling about the cover up from January 2nd for at least 12 sessions Nadateturbe so I'm sure that will help, thankyou for caring. Hope you are coping with everything today. Take care of yourself too.

Scaredycat Sat 23-Dec-23 17:14:29

Doodle- thank you so much for starting us off again. Can’t believe how quickly we reached 1000.
I,m so sorry to hear of the pain your poorDH is suffering - you must be so concerned for him. I hope he is managing to sleep ok - and you too.
Whiff- hope the UTI clears up quickly they are horrid aren’t they.So glad you have a surgery you can rely on. I think those of us with a willing and helpful surgery are very lucky- ours is pretty good.
Hope your ‘ fog ‘ goes away soon. Does it just lift or do you have to take anything?
SweetPeaSue- you do give yourself a hard time. You are the best mother you can be and your sons love you for who you are. Relentless pain and worry are wearing your confidence away. You do not fall short of anyone .
If you can’t face a group PM session then explain to them how you feel . If there’s a phone number on the letter you can make contact after Christmas. Your counselling starts soon so you will have time to talk quietly and say exactly how you feel about what happened .
Try not to worry about the Wedding it’s not for a while is it- can you talk to your Sisters about how you feel?
I hope you have a better night tonight.
Wyllow- you are in my thoughts every day.

Just finished wrapping the presents and have come to the conclusion Sellotape is the Devils work. I phoned my SiL from my first marriage this afternoon and we had a lovely chat- we all love her and glad we still have her in our lives. So many of those we love in our families are poorly in one way or another so my Christmas wish is that next year will be a kinder one for them. What are your Christmas Wishes?
Love to all BDs those mentioned and those not.

nadateturbe Sat 23-Dec-23 17:18:49

I get what you're saying Sweetpeasue. It's so unsatisfactory of doctors to disregard what you say. I do hope the psychologist appointments help. Keep doing the diary and taking painkillers regularly maybe.
Bad nights are bound to make everything worse.
I'm OK. There are people I haven't managed to see, like my aunts. But we can only do our best. It's not that important.
People worry too much. I was in M&S buying a couple of food items and an assistant said the shelves are emptying fast and they've to keep restocking. I don't know what comes over people. Madness.
I hope you feel OK and manage to relax tonight. There are some good festive programs on. We will be watching All Creatures ....

nadateturbe Sat 23-Dec-23 17:24:56

Agree about sellotape Scaredycat 😁.
How lovely that you're still friends with your SiL.
I think good health for loved ones who are suffering is definitely top of our list.

HowVeryDareYou2 Sat 23-Dec-23 18:10:10

Whiff I'm glad you've been able to get the antibiotics. Hope they work soon. UTIs are horrible. Your GP surgery sounds good, like the one I go to.

SweetpeaSue I've never heard of central sensitisation, so Googled it. Keeping a diary of some type sounds a good idea. Perhaps you could note what, if anything, starts the pain off each time (food, drinks, bowel movements, etc). As for not wanting to go to a group session, I can empathise. I has social anxiety (somehow manage to hide it but *every(
encounter with more than 1 or 2 people is difficult and unnerving). When's the wedding? You might be very different by the time it comes round. I hope the weekly counselling sessions help you. You get on well with the Psychologist, don't you? Your poor DH, his BP is bound to be high when he's worried about you. I hope you both have a better night tonight.

nadateturbe All these people queuing up for ages to buy food - the shops are open again on Boxing day! I'm not doing any of it. I'll get what we need on Boxing day (when my lot come here) on the day. Anything we don't get, I don't care about.

Doodle Thanks for starting the new thread. Your poor husband. Did the Morphine patches make him feel odd? They can do that, initially. I hope you both manage to get some proper sleep tonight.

ScaredyCat It's lovely that you still keep in touch with your SIL like that. I still keep in touch with Son1's ex from about 14 years ago (she's married with a son).

Wyllow3 Hope you might see your sister over Christmas.

I visited SIL today. She was asleep for the 2 hours I stayed as she'd apparently "been awake all night", trying to get out of bed. She can't walk at all, or even stand unaided, so carers were alerted to her nighttime disturbance by sensors in the room. Brother's son is having an operation Jan 6 to remove part of his lung, and will have some type of laser treatment to reduce/destroy the brain tumour.

Hope ALL BDers manage to have a relaxing evening. x

Sweetpeasue Sat 23-Dec-23 18:27:38

What truly lovely and kind words from you both.
Scaredycat I think if I was a person without so many inadequacies and hangups I'd be more confident and be far better mother material. You are right about the pain wearing me down certainly. Wedding in about 5mths. Just needing to renege on something I agreed to and feeling bad. Can't talk to sisters-one not in much contact as she is so busy with fam probs and has decided this. Other v busy but not easy to talk to.
Sellotape is the devil's work.Grrr. So lovely to be able to be in contact with a nice relative from 1st marriage. I'd have liked that but not to be. That's a good Christmas wish you made there and I hope it comes true. 🙏. I could be greedy and have more than one-but I wish better all round health for all BDs.
(And my son will be happy with his future bride)
Nadateturbe We've all said it here about night's haven't we. I've not seen my aunt since Saturday but I know she's having visits this week and she's at her daughters over the holiday. Everyone is rushing around manically aren't they. Thanks for TV suggestions -I'll take a look. (Nearly sent you a roast chicken emoji thinking it was thumbs up! Haha)

Sweetpeasue Sat 23-Dec-23 18:41:13

HVDY Oh I hope your brother's son's operation is successful and he recovers well. Your brother must be worried about him. Its awful to see your SIL deteriorate so quickly. I'm glad she has the room sensor now to help monitor her movements. It's good she still knows you . Thanks for understanding the social anxiety. I don't think it's any particular food or drink that's caused the sickness , its strange. The person I saw a few times before was trainee psychologist(looked about 12) and helped with distraction techniques.This next one is fully trained and was wonderful when I saw him a week or so ago. GP said it's the steroids that have made DH BP so high but of course worry won't help. Hope you see fox tonight.

Sweetpeasue Sat 23-Dec-23 20:05:44

Doodle Thinking about you and hoping your shoulder is OK. Hoping your DH's ankles are improving and he's not in so much pain.Thank goodness for the co-codamol that appears to suit him as it does me. I find it takes about 30 mins to start working though depends on the pain severity. I hate to see all the clamour and racing around outside in the shops and on the rds so a quiet Christmas will suit us fine .Crossed fingers everything will go smoothly for you both too. I'd like to listen to the Carol's on one of the channels and try to remember the real cause of the celebration and to be grateful for the good things. Also to try and believe in the message of hope. Take care.
Wyllow I hope you are feeling a little better and your medication is helping. Sending a warm hug. Just know we are all thinking about you and wishing you to get better.
EllieAnne Hope you have your turkey by now or whatever you're preparing. Whatever you do it will be lovely and most of all -everything will be fine.
CandyWhiff**Allsorts**Fishwife**Derby**Nanny Hope you are all OK and wishing all BDs a peaceful night.

Doodle Sat 23-Dec-23 20:18:24

Sweetpeasue I think we all have times in the night when we think things over too much. I’m sure you’re a good mum. Just because you can’t do things because of the pain doesn’t make you a bad mum.
You don’t fall short of anyone. You have a condition which causes you untold pain and discomfort. It revolves round two areas we all take for granted the bowel and bladder. When those basic functions start causing problems we all get scared. It’s no wonder it gets you down. I can see the same thing happening to DH with his pain in his foot.
I can understand you not wanting to join a PM group but I wonder if it’s worth a try. When I was told I would have CBT as part of a group I nearly didn’t go, I was so sure it wasn’t for me. It did help to listen to others experience and I found people very supportive and understanding.
Whiff like you we are lucky in our local Gp surgery. E can usually get some kind of help from them.
Glad you got your antibiotics. Hope they work soon. Don’t need a UTi over Christmas.
It was my DH with the patches, they didn’t explain that they wouldn’t work straight away. The sort of pain DH has he needs constant pain relief and couldn’t wait for the patches to start working.
nadateturbe it’s good you’re keeping relaxed about Christmas . It won’t do you any good stressing about it. Taking things slowly will help. It’s what I’ve been doing this week. A little here and there.
Scaredycat yes amazing we’re on a new thread already.
We are actually sleeping back in our bed for the last few nights. I have worked a way of dangling DHs feet off the end of the bed which keeps the pressure off and propping him up with pillows seems to be working. I agree with you about the sellotape. I have one of those gadgets that’s got a serrated edge that’s supposed to cut it but it doesn’t work. I hate wrapping presents. Always make such a mess of it. This year I just didn’t have the energy to be fancy so if they all stay stuck up till Christmas I will be surprised 🤣
Christmas wish, well for all my family to get on and have a relaxing happy time. For the people in Gaza to have food and medical aid and generally a prayer for all those suffering in body mind or spirit to find some peace and comfort.
Yours is a nice wish.
HVDY I’m so sorry about your brothers son. What a worrying time for your family. Good they are keeping an eye on your SIL. Last thing she needs is another fall.
I went out and picked up a few bits from the shops at about 4 today. It was lovely. Lots of room in the car park and not that many in the shops. I think everyone else did a mad dash this morning. My Turkey and sausages are in the fridge I’m cooking them all tomorrow then dividing it up and putting it in the freezer till needed.
I’ve pulled a muscle doing something. I was in agony earlier but it’s wearing off a bit now. What a pair of old crocks me and DH are.
Have a peaceful night all.
Ellie Anne hope you’ve got all your shopping done.
Candy hope things are ok for you. What are your Christmas plans?
Nanny still think of you and how hard things are for you and your son.
Wyllow sleep well and get strong. x

nadateturbe Sat 23-Dec-23 22:58:55

Goodnight everyone. I'm glad you're in bed Doodle. I hadn't realised you weren't sleeping in your bed. I hope you sleep well tonight.
Will answer others tomorrow.
How are you EllieAnne Wyllow3 Candy Nanny Allsorts Derby. Sorry if I've forgotten anyone.

Hope everyone on BD has a peaceful night.xx

Wyllow3 Sat 23-Dec-23 23:47:41

Night night BD's xxx

Doodle Sun 24-Dec-23 03:57:38

Well it’s 3.55 am and we are up for the fourth time since going to bed. DH in lots of pain so we’ve come back to the lounge to sit in the chair and I’ve got an ice pack on his leg again. It does help to deaden the pain a bit I think. 3 more days to go before we can speak to the doctor again. Still mustn’t lose sight of the fact that at least he’s home which a few weeks ago was something we feared might not happen. Hope everyone else is asleep. x

nadateturbe Sun 24-Dec-23 06:37:05

So sorry to hear this Doodle. Is there a stronger dose of co-codamol he could try? Surely your husband shouldn't be expected to just suffer like this.

HowVeryDareYou2 Sun 24-Dec-23 08:42:08

Doodle How awful for you both. Is there any point in ringing 111, do you think?

nadateturbe Sun 24-Dec-23 09:55:03

That's what I thought HVDY.

Sweetpeasue Sun 24-Dec-23 10:18:25

Oh your poor husband Doodle. Holidays and weekends are dreaded for people needing med help. Pain doesn't recognise holidays. I hope by now he his peaceful and you can both get a bit of rest. You will be at the end of your rope. The ice pack must be deadening the nerves do you think.? Wish I knew what to say. You are both in my my prayers. Sending you a huge hug.x

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