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Menopause, the new big subject.

(46 Posts)
Quizzer Mon 26-Feb-24 11:45:00

Recently there has been so much in the news and media about the menopause.
Employers are now told to allow time off and make provisions for menopausal staff.
Also there are many advertisements for products relating to the menopause, even shampoo!
I realise that some women do suffer, but I think that all this publicity is the perfect excuse for the workplace skivers. (We have all worked with them).
As for all the special products, this is just profiteering.
What do other GN feel about this?

Aveline Mon 26-Feb-24 11:53:10

It's like all these 'celebs' have invented menopause. Meanwhile we've all just got on. Some had better menopauses than others but that's not interesting news. I think research focused on those who just get through it well enough might be useful. Are there lessons to be learned from that rather than celebrities' misery stories.

keepingquiet Mon 26-Feb-24 11:54:40

I really didn't have a menopause. My periods just stopped.
That doesn't mean that I don't have sympathy for those for whom it is a terrible time.
Maybe there is some band-wagon jumping going on, but so what? It is no different to any other health condition in that regard- except it only affects women. I think!

greenlady102 Mon 26-Feb-24 11:59:35

The "guidance" that I heard announced was ridiculous. It should also be kept in mind that any changes made to support any health condition must be "reasonable" and if the illness or disability means that the job that the person does becomes impossible even with reasonable adaptation and there is no alternative job for them, then they can still be dismissed on medical grounds. (ex manager who had to deal with both the genuinely ill and the genuine slackers!)

Auntieflo Mon 26-Feb-24 11:59:53

A bit off the subject I know, but when I was working full time, I wish there had been more known about Endometriosis.
I just suffered in silence, unless I was just too poorly to go into the office.

greenlady102 Mon 26-Feb-24 12:00:13

PS gthe other thing I have seen is menopause used as a selling aid!!

winterwhite Mon 26-Feb-24 12:05:08

When I saw this thread in the active list just now it read Menopause, the new big subject - Keepingquiet.
Quite is my reaction.

These can be difficult years, but there is a compensation. Women take on a new lease of life after the mid 50s. More energy, more decisiveness, which can last for 20 years or more. Men do not seem to have that late middle age spurt

eazybee Mon 26-Feb-24 12:16:06

The menopause is NOT a disability.
What would have been helpful would have been the provision of a ladies-only cubicle with space to change clothes, a washbasin enclosed, plus a proper receptacle for waste.
I worked in a mainly female environment (Primary Schools) and the last building (modern) had two ladies loos for a female staff of 40; one for the five men and one attached to the servery/kitchen.
And five minutes extra at break (15 minutes) with a lot of staff needing the loo.

Germanshepherdsmum Mon 26-Feb-24 13:14:35

Another one here who just got on with it.

MissInterpreted Mon 26-Feb-24 13:47:57

Well, I think it's another of those subjects where the more publicity, the better. It's one of those things which was never really talked about, so I think it's good that that is now changing. For all those who 'just got on with it', there are probably many more women out there who suffered all kinds of menopause-related issues. I naively thought it just meant hot flushes and not much more. I wasn't prepared for the horrendous anxiety, depression and insomnia which came with it! If I hadn't been prescribed medication to help with that, I probably wouldn't be here now. So if you sailed through it, consider yourself lucky.

LizzieDrip Mon 26-Feb-24 13:50:58

Yep, I just got on with it too. In fact I would describe my 50s as my best decade. I seemed to take on a new lease of life! I acknowledge there are many women who suffer through menopause but it is not a disability - it’s a phase of life; better for some than others but, nevertheless, a natural part of the aging process.

MissAdventure Mon 26-Feb-24 13:55:27

In my last workplace, I suspect I would have been able to predict in advance who would have expected her menopausal issues to inconvenience everyone and everything else.

Saying that, as I approached mine, I did have some horrible, really bad headaches, terrible aching legs, sweats, and all sorts.

Oldnproud Mon 26-Feb-24 14:05:17

MissInterpreted

Well, I think it's another of those subjects where the more publicity, the better. It's one of those things which was never really talked about, so I think it's good that that is now changing. For all those who 'just got on with it', there are probably many more women out there who suffered all kinds of menopause-related issues. I naively thought it just meant hot flushes and not much more. I wasn't prepared for the horrendous anxiety, depression and insomnia which came with it! If I hadn't been prescribed medication to help with that, I probably wouldn't be here now. So if you sailed through it, consider yourself lucky.

Well said, MissInterpreted.

JaneJudge Mon 26-Feb-24 14:12:40

Most work place skivers are men ime

sharon103 Mon 26-Feb-24 14:23:05

MissInterpreted

Well, I think it's another of those subjects where the more publicity, the better. It's one of those things which was never really talked about, so I think it's good that that is now changing. For all those who 'just got on with it', there are probably many more women out there who suffered all kinds of menopause-related issues. I naively thought it just meant hot flushes and not much more. I wasn't prepared for the horrendous anxiety, depression and insomnia which came with it! If I hadn't been prescribed medication to help with that, I probably wouldn't be here now. So if you sailed through it, consider yourself lucky.

Well said. I'm another one who wouldn't be here now had it not been for medication.
I wouldn't want to go through that again for all the money in the world.

eddiecat78 Mon 26-Feb-24 15:34:09

A good friend gave up working as a very experienced solicitor because of the menopause . She was "just getting on with it" while working in her own office where she could open a window or use a fan. Then her firm decided everyone should be in an open plan office where she had absolutely no control of the temperature she was working in. Her requests to at least have a desk near a window fell on deaf ears and she couldn't continue

Labradora Mon 26-Feb-24 17:51:23

I feel a bit guilty about this because I had quite a "light" menopause; some hot flushes that were awkward at meetings because I felt embarassed but I just "got on with it". Looking back probably nobody even noticed except me.I always attributed any anxiety , stress and brain fog to a highly pressurised job and I don't know how one differentiates between general stress "brain fog" and "fogs" attributable to menopause. Again I just got on with it accepting that if you take the job then you do the stress.
Obviously some ladies have severe symptoms but I have always thought that if the symptoms are severe enough then they would be covered by sickness legislation and medical time off could be taken accordingly.
I know what Quizzer means. Some Ladies who are really suffering will do so in silence and "lean in" while the Chancers will just see it as another excuse to scive.
I'm not completely( or possibly at all ) au fait with any legislative innovations but I believe that Menopause is being brought under the Special Adjustments part of the relevant Employment Legislation. If that means busting a uniform requirement to allow cotton clothing then that seems reasonable to me.
How do you keep equitable conditions in the workplace when so many exceptions exist? What about the ones who never get an exception ? Managers sure earn their money these days.

flappergirl Mon 26-Feb-24 21:58:22

Just like keepingquiet I didn't have a menopause. I had my last period at 52 after some irregular ones before that and then nothing. Not so much as a hot flush.

I did however suffer horribly with my periods every single month from the age of 12. The pains were crippling, I would feel light headed to the extent of barely functioning, I would vomit and occasionally I used to actually pass out on the floor. It was horrific but I had no choice but to work and I never took time off because of it, it simply wasn't an option.

So I felt somewhat vindicated when I had a free pass at the menopause.

Granmarderby10 Mon 26-Feb-24 22:21:39

I was actually anticipating misogyny from spiteful men, they can have a field day discriminating away to “beat the band” at any female over 50 …..

MissAdventure Mon 26-Feb-24 22:43:18

My male boss was hauled over the coals for saying that he knew we were menopausal women, and made allowances.

downtoearth Tue 27-Feb-24 07:45:22

I found work impossible for 3 days every month,really heavy bleeding,flooding meant I couldnt leave the house on those days and had to be by the toilet at all times.
Fortunately had a hysterectomy at 40 due to fibroids and endometriosis,and adhesions caused by C sections,I didnt look back,life began again at 40,just had a few hot sweats in my 50s.
Access to toilet facilities,management,not being able to leave shop floor,or being in the middle of dealing with customers,made work pretty impossible at this time.

Whiff Tue 27-Feb-24 07:58:08

I had a total hysterectomy in 1996 aged 38 they even took my cervix which was great no more smear teats. Put on HRT for 16 years then I was taken off it. Still have hot flushes night and day sweats but only my face drips with sweat. But I put up with it to be honest it's easier to deal with than period cramps,back ache and sore boobs.

My nan was still having flushes and sweats until she died at 89.

A friend of mine tries all herbal things that are supposed to help even tried the magnet that attaches to your knickers until the magnet slipped and ended up on the gusset of her knickers. Nothing helps . I said just to put up with it or see about HRT but she only likes natural things. Did point out she didn't put live yogurt on her bits when she had thrush but had over the counter cream and pessary . She said well that's different 🤔.

Yes we don't have to put up with symptoms if you don't want and today's HRT is different from when I was on it. But menopause is just part of being a woman I am nearly 66 and don't expect the symptoms to leason yet but I have health problems which cause me more problems then menopause .

I hate these celebs who think they are the only who go through it but they are only after money that's why they talk about it and write books .

M0nica Tue 27-Feb-24 13:16:39

Another one who had little or no problem, fibroids, that disappear anyway once through the menopause, and that was it.

I read somewhere that 40% of women have little or no menopausal problems.

Some time in my 30s I heard an item on, I think, Women's Hour, where they visited an area, specific group in India where women are in purdah from starting menstruating until ending it. Once they had ceased having periods/endless children they could be seen in public, function in public life and make their own decisions. Menopause problems were almost unknown. The advantages of the meno pause so outweighed its disadvantages .

Urmstongran Tue 27-Feb-24 13:24:46

Another here who had a smooth passage through the menopause.

Liz46 Tue 27-Feb-24 16:17:16

When my husband accidentally touched my arm when we were in bed and my arm was wet, he said it was like sleeping with a slug!