Help, calm me. House buying and selling stress

We have yet to start moving money into our account to pay "cash". How do we pay the whole price once it is all together? I am terrified it will go astray

You will get payment details from your solicitor, either by post or by hand, no e mails. Take the letter to the bank and they do it all. Prior to that, I had to move all the money into the halifax and there is a temporary time of around 6 months when more than 85k can safely be held for probate, house purchase etc. I rang halifax first and told them I would be moving money, they have to be careful of money laundering so a phone call is a good idea. Actually paying for the house was safe via going into the bank

Spreading the house proceeds was another matter, all the proceeds went into halifax when my origial house sold. I needed to replenish my savings accounts and started to move money immediately, I had several fraud alerts and had to ring the bank each time, had lots of interrogation questions to answer. That was more stressful than moving the money to buy the house

Riversidegirl, that is a very sensible question to ask

I am still on little de-stressing steps and could just sit all day if I am honest, now that the digging is finished and the whole garden is covered. I don`t feel like crafting because my crafting stuff is a complete piled up mess, waiting for 2 big cupboards to be built before I can tidy up. Weather is too bad to go cycling, so I am in drawer sorting mode. Did 2 small drawers yesterday and one half of the wardrobe shelf. At least the bedroom drawers are becoming permanent. Might do a stationary drawer today and the one containing torches etc

I keep buying plants, addicted, all philodendrons because I have perfect spaces for them. All standing on glass pebbles and water for humidity. Two more will arrive soon and then I must sit on my hands, or find some more small drawers to sort

Craftyone, thank you! Money is my biggest worry at the moment, never had to do that sort of thing before. It's always been the mortgage company. Re gardening: I am selling very large cacti, and am considering selling an olive tree, a fig, and 2 more that might be damaged by moving them in a lorry. Boo hoo.

I forgot. You need to take identifications to the bank as well as the solicitors letter with details plus the statement with the final price. Good luck riversidegirl, I never sold anything when I left. Lots of people got lots of goodies for free, nicely re-homed but I was up to my eyes and stressed so really could not be a**ed.

Sorry to read about some of the problems with estate agents. I must say my estate agent and the one I am dealing with in Liverpool have been wonderful. Just wish all the solicitors involved with my sale and buying of property would pull their fingers out and get things moving. All the searches etc are done on my house. Everything to do with the bungalow I am buying was done in September when I had my first buyer. My buyer and theirs have their mortgage offers. Just waiting for the searches to come back on their house.
There has been at lot of debate out whether or not to show viewers around yourself or get the estate agent to do it. I always showed people around myself. That way I could tell them all information about the house. When new boiler was put in etc. What the neighbours are like, schools transport etc. I could answer all their questions. I found when I was shown properties by estate agents they didn't have the answers to my questions and I had to wait sometimes up to a day for the answers.
Before I put my house on the market I had a cleaning firm give my house a deep clean. Best £194.94 including vat I have spent. Four ladies cleaned everywhere. Brought all equipment and biodegradable cleaning products with them. They took their shoes off in the porch without being asked. They were here for five hours. It has meant that I have kept up with the cleaning and my house is always clean. Didn't used to be I am sorry to say. Since my husband died and the children left home I let a lot of things get out of hand. Never again.
Had a lovely complement from Steve at Pickfords my removal company he said he had seen anyone so well organised for years . I started packing in July last year when I found the bungalow as I am on my own. By the end of August everything was packed that I didn't need. Rubbish excess furniture etc gone. I recount it will only take me three hours at the most to pack up what's left.
Being in limbo and at the wim of other people is hell .
As I and many on this site have said the laws about buying and selling properties need changing. The housing department have told me via my MP there are no plans to change the rules. Why can't we just have Scottish law?
To all going through this hell I am with you. It's not easy but try to stay positive get plenty of sleep and look after your health. After my first buyer pulled out it made my ill for three weeks. Which I am angry with myself for letting her get to me. When the second one pulled out I was upset for a few hours then I got angry. Which I found is a good emotion to have. Hopefully there is such thing as karma and hopefully they have bad things happen to them.
That's another thing I never used to be vindictive. But this whole process has made me like it. I had shouted at my husband Nick it's all his fault for dying on me. Which is an awful thing to admit. He didn't want to died at forty seven. But I do not know how many of you are widows. But when Nick died my present and future died with him. I have made a new life for myself. But even fifteen years on it is still a struggle some days. I miss him more as time goes by. Our children are now thirty five and thirty one. Both married our daughter has a son and our son two sons. He has missed seeing the grow into wonderful adults. He always wanted to be a grandad. But I am lucky I love my son in law and daughter in law as my own. I get on very well with their parents and siblings. I have a lot of people who I love and love me.
Sorry about the winge it sounds as if I am feeling sorry for myself but I'm not. I am quite sure there are women out there who understand how I feel. Life I thing would be easier if I wanted another man in my life but I don't. I was with Nick for twenty nine years married nearly twenty three when he died. We started dating in 1975. Day after his eighteenth I was sixteen two months from being seventeen . We brought our first house in 1980 and was married in 1981. I have been in this house thirty four years. Our old house was only two streets away.
To all who have read this post thank you for sticking with me. Hopefully everyone will have good news soon. Just wish the rain would stop.

Fingers crossed for you Whiff, my neighbour downstairs is my solicitor and I hope he will be able to deal with me again by post as he's moved offices.

I think I've said on here before that I became anxious driving when my husband died, I can only go in a safe 'circle' now or have severe panic attacks. I do miss the things I used to do - I haven't been to the Metro Centre in Newcastle now for three years.

hugs whiff, I can empathise and completely agree about the nice person turning into someone vindictive and with anger. I had a hint of that anger again yesterday and re-read the last bill, the £89 that I had to pay for the upgraded electrics in the garage, she made me pay it and so I took the nice rotary airer that I had been meaning to leave. It had cost me £90. I never left bog roll or anything, even got rid of the granite cleaner and spare bits that I had bought specially for the oven. She lost out on way way more than £90 in the end. I was so miffed that I did the vacuuming but not the sparkle clean, like windows and I did not put anything down the kitchen sink drain. I really hope it got smelly. It turned me vindictive and that is not me

Mosaicwarts hope everything goes well for you. I don't drive even if I could I wouldn't as I have problems with my limbs and have jerking fits in them. I have found my local taxi firm wonderful. They carry my shopping from the car and put it in my porch for me. I fall over on buses. I love travelling on the train. And found the assisted travel service excellent. Can you get a train to Newcastle from near to you? I can usually get return tickets to Liverpool for £21 when I visit the family.

Craftyone thank you. Sorry you got lumbered with extra to pay. Because of the rain I have just found out my front gutter is blocked and water has seeped through the wall into my garage. Gutter man coming Tuesday am. More money to pay out.

Thanks for the good wishes Whiff. Glad your taxi firm are good to you, my son is a taxi driver and I encouraged him to help people carry their shopping in. I can't get on trains either, I can't go near the gap. I can't walk our local river either, which doesn't have any railings, as I've also developed a fear of falling. I know it's all psychological and will be finding someone soon to help me.

Sorry your gutter is blocked, my house suffers constantly with this. I feed the birds and they seem to wipe their beaks on the gutter, resulting in some lovely plants up there!

Mosaicwarts sorry hear about your problems. Please get help. Life's to short let things get in the way of doing what you want. Found that out the hard way. I have always believed what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. All the best.

I am taking some stress-avoidance measures, I have a vegan visitor in july with a powerful appetite, 6`2 and 2nd july I have my sister from aus for several nights and from next weekend to then, the roads all over start to clog up because of glastonbury. I have cleared a freezer drawer and have ordered several cookfood meals, including vegan food, all arriving tomorrow to be safely tucked away.

I have enough other food but no way am I going to stress with recipes and big meals. Total cost was less than one decent meal out for 2. Organic box will be arriving each week so I will be good for veg and salad stuff. All this a few days after the bedroom cupboards are built and I have to work hard to get everything temporarily away, so the bed is cleared. In between the 2 visitors, the window coverings are all being fitted and I have some overnight babysitting duties. I could see stress ahead so I have ducked it

I also did stress avoidance on the allotment this morning, only fruit now, no veg. Weeds are growing massively fast and as the roads will be clogged, I gritted my teeth and used weedkiller. No good hoeing right now as the soil is wet and claggy

Have a lovely time with your visitors craftyone, Glastonbury! How exciting, I didn't know you lived near there. My daughter has only been to one festival and absolutely hated it - too noisy, too muddy and cold! Can't remember where she went (my memory is getting worse) but they had to walk about four miles with all their stuff from the car park.

I also didn't know you had an allotment, how lovely.

Have a good week.

yes the roads and every back lane are manic, all at a standstill on 26 june and 1st july. Its an absolutely huge huge site,must take people 2 hours to walk to their gigs. I am miles away and the actual site is at pilton not glastonbury itself but everyone is affected for many many miles, no buses, no ambulances, no post or deliveries uness they cycle

I have been pondering christmas now, need to keep myself occupied as the 3 AC are going to be away etc and anyway I don`t want to be the granny who gets passed around. Must find the appropriate GN thread and see what to do, maybe a holiday. It is another source of potential stress, hate that period of time

My friend always goes to Glastonbury with her husband, they are younger than me, both work as stewards, don't envy them! Hope it's dry for them this year.

I don't like Christmas. It just feels like weeks of shopping and cooking, I don't look forward to it at all, quite sad really. I shouldn't complain, I only have my son and daughter to cater for and one day they won't be coming. Also have to keep the dreaded woodburner going all day and night as the house is always so cold. Last year my daughter's boyfriend came from Canada with his guitar - he kept strumming during my fave programmes, ha ha! I'm sorry my kids don't have more family, it is just the three of us, my aunt on the IOW can't travel up here.

Our best Christmases were spent diving on the reef in Australia in 2006, and I took my kids volunteering with elephants in Thailand for Christmas 2017. That was amazing but the flights were very pricey. In error Steve had been taxed for a company car he'd returned and I had a rebate, I couldn't have afforded it otherwise. I thought I'd get to know my son's girlfriend better on the holiday but she stuck to my son like glue and two year's on I still know nothing about her. They've been together for eight years now.

Enjoy your holiday planning!

The recent heavy downpours showed that one of my downpipes on the rear wall has come apart at a junction, and water pours down outside instead of inside of drainpipe. Think I have someone coming today to sort it. Must get that done before survey for purchasers.
This last weekend I put in an offer (and had it accepted) on a flat in WsM. Having arrived home, my EA's contacted me to say there was a problem in the purchase chain, with the first time buyers who were hoping to purchase the flat, my purchasers are selling having over-estimated their mortgage abilities. So, my purchasers have dropped the price of their flat to meet this, and have raised some extra money but asked the EA if there was anyway I would drop my price on the house by £4000..
Actually, the offer I had accepted from them was five grand more than the previous one and I had thought of that five grand as being a sort of 'reserve' should anything show up in the survey etc. So, I have accepted the lower offer - just really want this whole process to get to a completion, particularly now that I have really found a flat I want to move into.
Still managing to remain remarkably calm, most of the time.

Ah! Yes Christmas.. Trying not to think about it. For the past few years I have driven down to WsM on Christmas morning to spend the day and Boxing day there with daughter and family - then back home to London and had New Years Eve there with some of the others coming up for that.
My daughter in London found this all too much this year, with so many people (she hosted), and has already booked to go somewhere that evening.
So, if I am living in WsM by then, do it switch things around and drive up to London for Xmas day etc. with that daughter? or what.
Will give this more consideration if I know I will actually have moved by then.

So pleased for your Franbern, good luck with your 'chain' remaining stable, such a lot to look forward to! I'm glad you have the rationale of accepting the reduced offer because of the £5K in your mind, I got so mixed up with numbers with my dreadful 'offerer'.

No sign of an offer from yesterday's ignorant viewer, I'm just allowing it to wash over me as a timewaster not worth a second thought. Fish on the line is right, I definitely took the 'cash buyer' bait. I would like to ring the EA and ask more about her, but won't. Ea board up today, very nice man, had to check the bees hadn't nested in the lawn before he hammered his pole in!

I'm putting off weeding, I must go down and do it, my back's a bit sore after hoovering so much over the weekend.

My aunt goes on 'Turkey and Tinsel' breaks for Christmas, but they are always so early - last year was 28 November!

Paul my gutter man was here for 3hrs. The side down pipe which the front gutter goes into was blocked at the top. When he took the down pipe off found the drain at the bottom was also blocked. He has cleaned the gutters inside and out including the shed. Cost me £160. But at least I don't have to worry now. Just hope the garage dries out soon.
Haven't heard any more news about my sale. If I don't hear by Friday I will phone the estate agents. They at least give me answers. Haven't been able to catch my solicitor for a couple of weeks.
Hope everyone else is having more luck with their sales.
Be nice if the sun comes out would lift my spirits.

Good chap by the sound of it, I paid £140 to have my gutters cleared and don't think he did manage to clear them, although I found some 'mud' on the ground People said 'ask him to take photographs' but I felt it insulting. Yet again the hopper at the front porch is blocked and I'm waiting for a 'new' gutter man.

Have just heard from the estate agent. She has phoned yesterday's viewer five times without a response, but wanted to update me. Apparently the viewer drove past the house on Sunday, said she loved it, she knew the house as her aunt lives in the village, and if she did put in an offer it would be a lot lower than my 'offers over' price. She was surprised the office hadn't picked up her viewing cancellation email earlier - apparently they get hundreds of emails on a Monday morning. The EA has said she must view the house before making an offers.

A bad first experience with this EA, not their fault and there's more to come I'm sure. I do feel like a vulnerable older widow inside, but am going to be a business like tiger on the outside.

Like others it turned out that the problem was nothing to do with the downpipe, it was the drain that was totally blocked and causing the problem. That drain is virtually inaccesible to me to clean, as the water butt is too close to it. It had so much muck in it, mainly from moss, etc being washed down from the gutters. I did have all the gutters cleared out last year, as it looked as if I had a roof garden growing out of them.
Had a father and son who came and sorted this for me, nasty dirty job, took them a good hour and all they asked at the end was forty quid. So pleased that is all sorted out, I had nightmares of the surveyor coming on a day of heavy rain as seeing that cascade of water.

Fantastic, glad it's sorted Franbern. The muck in gutters is quite disgusting isn't it. I hope the surveyor doesn't impose too much.

I was very upset that my surveyor stood on the bed to inspect the loft in the single storey area, what was he thinking? I had offered him the ladder. He'd also wanted to open the floor spaces, this has reminded me, he'd knocked something down there I need to retrieve. He wasn't quite the gentleman I'd previously believed from our polite contact at the cricket club.

Mosaicwarts I hope you reported his behaviour to his superiors or at least your solicitor. He shouldn't have behaved like that. When my buyers surveyor came I asked him to take his shoes off which he did. He had all his equipment with him ladders, torch etc. He first explained exactly what he would be doing. Showed me how the damp meter worked. He then got his binoculars and had a good look at the roof. Came back inside and we went around every room. He carried his shoes upstairs and only put them on to go into the loft. He answered all my questions. When I asked if he found any problems he was good enough to tell me there were no lintels above the kitchen window, door or garage door. I have had them done. The only other thing was the loft needed thicker insulation. Considering it was my buyer paying him and not me he was under no obligation to tell me anything.
The surveyor who did my survey on my bungalow was excellent he did it at 10am by 4 I had his email report. After reading it 3 times I made notes to ask some questions. I phoned him the next morning he answered everything. I asked for a paper copy and received it the next morning. He only cost me £450. Which I though was very reasonable.

Sounds like a lovely surveyor, how considerate. I should buy the blue shoe covers for the viewings, my carpets are showing the effects of so many people walking around, quite a few patches have appeared and are waiting to be scrubbed!

Mine is an independent, and we've known him as an acquaintance for the twenty years we've lived here through socialising at the cricket club. He oversaw the conversion of the waiting rooms into the self catering annexe in 2009/10 so I was shocked at the faults in there! It was a very rainy stormy day when he came, he was absolutely soaked and I did feel sorry for him, but was surprised at his thoughtlessness.

Not feeling quite as chirpy after Monday's experience, must take myself in hand and stop 'waiting'.

Have a good day, woke up to the blocked gutter gurgling, rainy and horrid here again