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Help, calm me. House buying and selling stress

(1001 Posts)
craftyone Thu 21-Mar-19 07:52:20

I have a bad stress headache today, never normally get headaches. I am buying a new house before selling my own, at least that was the plan. There has been a buying hold up, caused by waiting for sight of an important document. All in all 3 months has turned to 8 months. Just waiting for one document, which was `in the post` to nhbc

My buyer, february viewings, is starting to lay on the pressure. I had 25 extra and difficult questions to answer yesterday, some relating to building planning dating back to 6 years before we moved in, a new build.

The whole idea was that I would complete on my new home and move in stress-free, a bit at a time. I will definitely not move to rented. I had a string of people wanting to buy my property and will delay my buyer if needed

The stress is awful, widowed, doing it all myself and even with a good solicitor, I am churning up inside after yesterday`s questions

craftyone Mon 08-Apr-19 21:48:55

mosaicwarts, yes birthdays are the worse times, no-one to bring that cup of tea in bed, to make a fuss of you. I think our own birthday is the worse time in the year. I try to go out, get a meal somewhere maybe go on a steam train and am always glad when it is over

I would say that mosaicwarts, you may be in for a barrage of questions, anything you have had done since you have lived there. My advice is to be selectively forgetful, seriously, no-one would have known about the small improvements if I had not opened my big mouth on the frightening formal forms. Then come the questions, wanting all the documents and if you haven`t got them, they insist on expensive indemnity insurances. Ignorance can be bliss

Countrylife Tue 09-Apr-19 13:51:55

All I can say is that my hubby and I sympathise. We decided to move instead of doing work planned here. We found somewhere went on the market Oct 18. The sellers didn’t want to move until after Christmas offered to take it off the market & allow us until after Christmas to sell. They invited us for coffee several times and we liked theyway they talked. “My word is my bond, I hate you can’t trust people anymore”. Turned out you couldn’t trust them.
They had the agent call us, no personal touch anymore, to say a previous viewer had sold called in on the weekend and they had taken cash offer. We showed our place two days later and accepted asking price. We didn’t know what to do told the prospective buyer we were in quandary were moving to perfect no work & we might not find that again they begged we acquiesced. Amazingly we found somewhere two days later completely not what we were after but idyllic incredible expensive but hey it’s the Last house this time! Our offer accepted our buyer thrilled and two days later our buyer pulls out due to stress of move. Argh! Agent says bear with us total of over 25 viewings since Oct 18 (now april19) and two further offers accepted and fallen through. Neither got as far as survey, one had down right lied “ my house sold my mother who is coming is due to close”. Turned out neither was right and they are still trying to sell via an “investment site” in other words not on any internet sites to be discovered. So accepted another offer after weeks in March. Great answered all her questions visited twice for hours. Three days after the written offer the agent can’t get hold of her they tried for over a week, texts, mobile messages, email no reply she just disappeared.

We have told the agent we are off the market and the builders have been called.

We don’t feel we can trust anyone anymore. Hopefully a local builder who we spoke to just before we decided to go the moving route, says he can fit us in later this year. We have seen his work in the village and he has good local references. Let’s hope we can trust him.

I wish you all the luck in the world and whatever happens it will be for the best.

craftyone Wed 10-Apr-19 09:06:55

countrylife, I am so sorry that you have had all that trouble. Stay in touch, let us know how you get on

I cannot sit and twiddle my thumbs so have taken the headboards off, packed 2 and ordered more of the super strong bags from amazon for the other 2. I also realised that having hypnos divan bases with fitted valances makes it difficult for the movers. The valance swould flop down. oh well, I have ordered very long ratchet straps and am hoping that they will help keep the valances in place, folded up. I am going to have to pad the buckles because no doubt if I don`t then some fabric or other would tear.

I did my wardrobe yesterday, ikea trunk bags, they are perfect.Big enough and with a zip. Only left some basics and they are mainly sweat shirts and working trousers, with one good set out for the bank

No stress right now, stress headache yesterday for a while. The phone went 3 times and I jumped 3 times but no exchange yet

craftyone Fri 12-Apr-19 17:38:54

and another week bites the dust. 34 weeks since I reserved my house. I think it will all settle into place next week, just have to get through yet another weekend and I say thank goodness for allotment work. My solicitor is on holiday. I should have realised that her assistant would not do the all important exchange, To get through the weekend I need to plan something for both days, not travel far by car because I am carrying half a load, not sitting screen watching and no need to sit by the phone just in case

At least I am the head of my short chain and will let no-one down. I do think I will be able to pass my own house over in just 12 weeks from start to finish. I have alerted the movers, they are on standby with no set dates. Truly nothing else I can do but wait

paddyann Fri 12-Apr-19 17:55:53

I feel your pain ,only a couple of months in for us but it gets more complicated by the day .A family who were interested and prepared to go to a closing date just pulled out they decided our garden wasn't big enough for their toddlers toys!! Apparently he has a bouncy castle and a climbing frame and swings and a large electric car and the two parks within walking distance aren't good enough to keep him amused ...he's 3 !!I've brought up my own 2 here and all 4 of my GC without any bouncy castles etc and the parks were just fine for them .I have no idea what to expect next .

craftyone Fri 12-Apr-19 19:26:46

oh paddyann I am sorry that they pulled out. Your stress levels must be skyward too

craftyone Mon 15-Apr-19 07:39:50

so another week starts in a couple of hours. I am going to be like a prowling unsettled cat, I know I am.

Specs Tue 16-Apr-19 06:38:37

Good luck this week. Have enjoyed your selling blog. Dying to read that you’re in and have spent the first night in your new home. Sending you best wishes.

craftyone Tue 16-Apr-19 10:13:16

I am in the absolute final stage of purchase but still another bit of paper, an OS2 doc from the land reg and the bill. Bank holidays friday and monday so my dream of exchange and completion will not, I think, take place this week. It is still stressful but now a different stress, trying to co-ordinate removers to a wished for date that is not yet existing. A maybe date, for which I have paid a deposit

mosaicwarts Tue 16-Apr-19 20:33:49

Just dropping in to see how you are craftyone - glad you have reserved your moving people at least, even if the date is speculative.

Keep on keeping on!

Katyj Tue 16-Apr-19 21:02:00

Can i join you ladies, think I'm going to need you all.We had an offer last week on our house, accepted, and found our dream downsize almost immediately, after looking for over a year.Anyway had a call from our buyer today, to say they had the surveyors report back and our house has been seriously undervalued, they have a 5o% deposit anyway, so can still give us our asking price, which we have already reduced for them. But we've never seen the surveyor, he's done what seems to be called a drive by! We can't reduce the price any more, and they don't want to pay the price agreed now either. Going to be an unsettled night confused

craftyone Wed 17-Apr-19 08:41:06

oh katyj, so your stress is just about to begin. If it is any consolation, house prices are rising again and buyers are coming to the market. Your buyers will have seen that on the news too. They are playing you and I hope are contacting via your estate agent. I have not met my buyer and have the EA in between us, she is the buffer

A drive by survey is just a valuation survey as you say and a house is worth what a buyer will pay. If they love it then they will pay

craftyone Wed 17-Apr-19 09:31:56

Ahhh, more stress. I just heard from my solicitor that my buyer has not yet received a mortgage offer. I think that she has well and truly pulled the wool over the EA who made me think that all was in place, the reason for me me accepting her lower offer in the first place.

Calm music and chamomile today

HildaW Wed 17-Apr-19 09:38:33

A 'drive by' is a very basic valuation on behalf of the lenders - all they need to know is that the building is worth what they are lending (not the full value of the house) its very much worse case scenario to ensure the lender is not out of pocket. The actual sale value of the house can be a fair bit higher. (DH was a chartered surveyor)

HildaW Wed 17-Apr-19 09:45:11

I have been too stressed to come in on this thread....have been going through all of the above. But we exchanged yesterday!!!! I promise you I am not feeling in any way that relieved, the stress is still up there but in theory the worse is over. The funny thing with stress and anxiety is that even when the deed is done ones imagination still manages to create dire scenarios that just might happen. The wine and biscuit intake over the last few months has been very bad.....I promise not to buy anymore....although I must get some replacement Easter Chocolate that sort of got eaten (twice). All good fortune to those in this dreadful predicament its so horrible being tossed about by other peoples' fibs and bad manners.

craftyone Wed 17-Apr-19 09:45:50

That is good to know HildaW and also reassuring, I had no idea that my buyer was awaiting a mortgage offer, last I heard was that she was getting insurance sorted for exchange. I do know that I have answered 40+ enquiries and that this house was very well maintained, my dh was a structural engineer. She has a fair bit of cash because of marital circumstances so maybe just needs a small mortgage hence perhaps a drive by is what has happened here too and hopefully won`t be too long. I read it can take between 18 and 40 days to get the offer

Oh well, back into planning for my purchase, it is very boring, this waiting by the phone

craftyone Wed 17-Apr-19 09:49:23

Oh HildaW I cross posted and I almost wrote that I am trying not to break into yet another pack of biscuits. I completely understand how you are feeling but congratulations on exchanging and I hope everything flows smoothly now

HildaW Wed 17-Apr-19 10:00:56

As a mortgage is still one of the cheapest forms of money its often seen by some as a good way of raising a bit extra and sometimes investments are too well tied up and its easier to get a small mortgage.....its funny how people's tunes change once things get moving! Our buyer went from showing he had all the funds available then and there to taking up a small mortgage and needing to sell another property, thankfully it was fairly early on but it never helps when people change their story. P.S. I had to change our phone ringtone the last time we moved as it had made me so jumpy! This time around we have already moved into the new house and have had to rely on e-mails on a desk top computer which do not announce themselves quite so alarmingly.

craftyone Wed 17-Apr-19 10:14:07

all this stress can make us ill. I know I have sat and sat, just so I can hear the phone. While I sat, I have nibbled. Really I wanted to be out on my bike but dare not. So now my sleep is not good either. I understand about getting the mortgage as an additional sum of money but doesn`t take the nasty taste of fibs away

Eglantine21 Wed 17-Apr-19 10:20:17

Does everybody fib/lie?

I’m sitting here with the money in the bank, ready to buy and since October three houses have fallen through (three surveyors and solicitors costs) because the vendors have lied about their property or their position in selling.

I’m now awaiting something to go wrong on Number Four.........

HildaW Wed 17-Apr-19 11:31:53

House buying does seem to make people devious - whether its just the fact you are meeting people you would not normally meet or it just brings out the worst in some. Several of our viewers seemed to be 'economical' with the truth....one even asking if we were up for a private deal...ie. going behind the EA's backs....which nowadays is not only immoral but would definitely lead you open to some very expensive consequences.
Then there were the annoying viewers who came back with daft reason's for not wanting to go further...everything from the house being in the wrong place i.e. 10 miles too far from a particular town to wanting to build an extension....what part of listed grade 2 did they not understand?
As to sellers fibbing as in your case Eglantine21 - that's just bizarre....its a buyers market FGS! We went for a new build by a small local firm which took the buying into fairly safe territory for us and thankfully their site manager and after sales service have been excellent.

Eglantine21 Wed 17-Apr-19 11:49:25

Yup, one couple said they were retiring and moving abroad to where their daughter was. 6 weeks down the line after the survey they admitted they were just “testing the market” and seeing what the survey threw up so they knew what needed doing.

A lovely, 1 year old retirement flat. Why sell after one year? The owner had become very ill and needed to be in a care home. Turned out there were problems with the construction that were in the hands of insurers and a dispute with the builders. Good thing the surveyor was local and knew about it. He played golf at the same club as the very ill owner.

Number three was marketed as traditional brick build with Zürich Certificates. Turned out it was timber frame having been erected from a kit by the owner at the back of his garden. No certificates of any kind, not even gas safety. It wasn’t even connected to the main drains, in the middle of a town.

HildaW Wed 17-Apr-19 12:04:37

Oh lor! Yes a well established and reputable local Surveyor and Solicitor is just as important as the choice of EA. Mind you there are so many complications by people with some weird motives. After a few years of living in our previous house we met someone who had wanted to buy it but had been unofficially warned off by their solicitor ( a so called friend) he alluded to potential planning issues that were utter nonsense thus putting them off. Every time I saw this lady she would go all misty eyed and say things like...'I really think it would have suited us better'. Bizarre!

craftyone Wed 17-Apr-19 17:50:36

yay, I have exchanged on my purchase and will complete next week. I told my EA about my buyers morgage shenanigans and she will be on the case tomorrow, the reason that I reduced my price is no longer there and buyer has moved the goalposts. However I think it will still go forward and hopefully feel guilty after pressurising the EA to pressure me

I have a full clear week in which I can move many many things from here, all the fragile stuff, personal stuff and just awkward stuff like lamps. So different tack this afternoon and I have started to change my e mail. My e mail is linked to a generic bb provider and I want to be free to choose so have gone over to gmail

I need to learn mobile phone use from scratch, no signal here. Vod gives the best coverage in new area, son says I can tether my laptop to wireless 4g via my new mobile, so that will enable me to access banks. I am dithering about getting vod, just need to decide how many GB to tie myself to over 12 months. No landline there yet and no internet and maybe I can do without a landline like son and like my sister in aus

Royal mail re-direction is done. I need to get a mobile number to inform everyone next week and like HildaW, I am still stressed and ate too many biscuits, again

HildaW Wed 17-Apr-19 19:30:57

craftyone....yay something to tick off the list! When we moved here there were problems getting the phone line and broadband in so we bought a dongle for a few pounds for the computer which worked very well. E mails on the computer are somehow more polite, you sit down and open them .....a bit like getting a letter......but when its urgent you can respond very quickly if there is a problem. I found them less stressful than phone calls on a landline and coming from a very rural area where mobile coverage was poor, OH and I only have simple 'dumb' phones that only family have numbers for.

Franbern Thu 18-Apr-19 09:44:05

I am just at the beginning of this selling and buying palarva. Must say I try not to read this thread as it only makes me more stressed and worried, but cannot stop myself doing it. For the third time in four years I am trying to sell my house in London, so that I can move into a flat in Somerset.
First time all seemed to be going well, buy purchasers had not told full truth about their employment condition, and it dragged on and on and on. I was so stressed I became quite ill, so when I lost the flat I was hoping to purchase I pulled the plug completely.
Had a short attempt last summer, during the very hot spell, house on market, not many viewers, no offers, gave up.
House back on market a few weeks back, lots of viewers, accepted an offer ten grand lower than the price I had put 'In Excess of''.......but they were first time buyers and the thought of a no chain really appealed to me.
They came twice, very excited, then last weekend they were coming locally to do their mortgage application with the EA's and asked if they could drop by again. So they came, told me it was even better than they remembered. Back to the office with EA, did mortgage application. \then on Monday they phoned the EA's to say they were changing their minds as they wanted to have an extension built, and they would not have enough money to do that. (When my hubbie and purchased our first house we did not have enough money to do anything, even decorate for the first couple of years, but were happy just to be on the housing ladder).
Anyway, fortunately, another lady who had made the same offer I had refused in favour of first time buyers, she was still interested - came Monday evening. Very happy (She says) a second chance and is now my prospective purchaser.
This weekend I will be viewing flats and probably putting in an offer.
Find it hard to believe it will actually happen. I did tell the EA's to make it absolutely clear to this lady that there were no circumstances whatsoever, at any point in the sale that I would make any further reduction in the price. They promise me that have told her this and she accepts it.
Yesterday the people in the house opposite to me exchanged and moved - I was really tearful all day - so silly, but I so much want this to happen. The house is too much for me to manage - but I find it difficult to believe that this whole process really will take place

craftyone Thu 18-Apr-19 09:57:41

Franbern don`t lose heart, what helped me a lot was knowing that if it was meant to be then it would happen. I would have read this thread, just to know that we are not alone, that sellers in particular are played like fish on a line. Best of all is to know that this stress starts to reduce and eventually stops but there is that dreadful hump part way through, all those enquiries

If I could have read all this in 2006 before makng any downsizing moves, then I would have looked ahead more and we would have bought a property much more within the `what if` scenario, we all get older, many of us are left alone to cope, it happens and sometimes this reality check is a good thing if it happens in advance and we appreciate that things change

If my buyer asks me to reduce my price last minute, then I would not do it either. I reduced the first time because of political uncertainty, by 5%. Then the purchaser offered less and I settled at another 6% less ie 11% overall. She is now playing me again but I think she is smitten and my EA is going to do what she is paid to do later on this morning

Franbern, I would say to start downsizing and to start packing seriously. I put stacked boxes behind doors, in the utility, in wardrobes at first, then later all along walls. Kitepackaging had good materials and the I found the clingfilm with roller particularly useful to protect things. There is an end to this, stay on the thread and tell your story as it happens, offload like I did. The support is fantastic

mosaicwarts Thu 18-Apr-19 13:05:00

Good luck Franbern, I'm envious of your offer!

I had to do a viewing yesterday and the couple were lovely but they seemed rather overwhelmed by the size of the house and conditions imposed by the listing. I don't expect any interest.

Good tip to start packing properly craftyone, in order to go onto the market I packed very quickly and need to sort each box out now. I can hardly bear to go down to the shed, it's packed to the rafters!

HildaW Thu 18-Apr-19 13:50:19

mosaicwarts - sounds like you had the sort of viewers we had. We were selling a listed barn conversion and several people seemed to have no idea what that entailed yet the details of the place were on the web and in the extensive brochure, it puzzled us that with so much information available people made such daft mistakes even about its distance from a town (we looked at every potential house we were interested on via web and google maps - we then did basic drive bys just to get a flavour of them, but actually only viewed two).
Our EA explained that he felt his job had changed over the years now that so much of the info is out there. He said up until only 10 years ago most potential buyers would come into a branch, give their requirements and listen to advise about what would be suitable. He was now finding that he would sometimes offer the opinion that the house they had seen on the web might not suit but frequently be ignored or even actually have a complaint made against him for being unhelpful. Where houses are something other than a standard estate home there are so many variations and it seems daft that people do not at least listen to an expert's advise.
We were selling our barn because we are getting older and would prefer to be nearer our children now, we wanted something with few maintenance issues in the years to come and with a smaller garden. It seemed daft to us that the first 4 or 5 sets of viewers were couples who were older than us and several actually seemed frailer. They all waxed lyrical about the place and its position but when asked by the agents if they were pursuing it they would all come back with variations on it being bigger than they thought or would need too much looking after. Bizarre! The daft thing was our agent had even done one of those clever laser camera virtual tours so why they were surprised by high windows and lots of beams I have no idea!

mosaicwarts Thu 18-Apr-19 17:22:48

I'm glad I don't have to do the viewings normally HildaW, I do appreciate not having to do it. This couple looked like rabbits caught in the headlights, it was just too much for them.

I agree about the older couples as I am almost disappointed when I see them as it's obviously not suitable - a few viewers have arrived early as we were leaving. The last older couple to arrive early refused my offer to come in and said they were happy to walk around until the agent came so I left - apparently when she arrived the poor man had become ill, and they'd had to go straight to A&E. My friend thought this was an excuse to get out of the viewing.

I'm feeling very fed up today. I was cleaning and there is a four inch watermark all around one of the double plugs near the skirting board. The wall is three foot thick. No idea where the water has come from. Wish I could learn to blank these things off but I worry all the time, hopefully the builder will phone through with the electrician's number tomorrow.

Countrylife Fri 19-Apr-19 08:51:10

Just want to say to all after reading about these harrowing ordeals, you are not alone! Just think of that glass of wine, coffee or tea you get to have on your first day in the new place. For us it’s once the builders start as I will feel that we are finally committed to staying here, hopefully by late summer we will have planning approval and begin the journey. At least we know where we will be, if not sure of the state of the place once it’s all done though. Goodluck

Whiff Sat 20-Apr-19 08:39:19

As sad as I am to read someone else's horror stories about selling and buying a new home , I am not feeling so alone. If you have read my posts you will know my house has been on the market since March 2018. I accepted an offer in June. Found my bungalow in July. Should have exchanged 7th September and moved 14th. Found out my buyer had pulled out on the 12th. A week later I found out she had moved into rented accommodation on the 7th when she completed on her house. Accepted an offer October. My bungalow was still for sale vendors agreed to sell to me again. Should have exchanged on 1st March and completed 8th. My buyer pulled out on the 25th February. Accepted an offer on 5th March. The bungalow was still for sale and the vendors have again agreed to sell to me.
At the moment everything is going ok. But I know my buyers could pull out at anytime . It's like living in limbo. It's a horrible feeling. I have no control over what is happening. I am one of those people if something needs doing I get it done. I even contacted my PM about the house selling and buying process. She got in touch with the housing department. I had a reply from them saying in 2016 they trialled a voluntary deposit system. But it didn't work. Why can't we have Scottish law? It seems a fairer way of doing things. I now people who have brought overseas and can't believe how everything moved so quickly and they had safe guards about people pulling out at the last minute.
I started my packing in July and got rid of all my excess furniture and rubbish by the end of August. I knew I needed to get it done as I am on my own . I was widowed fifteen years ago. My husband died at the age of forty seven I was forty five at the time. Due to still having parents and my mother in law still here I stayed in the Midlands. My dad died three years after my husband and my mother in law three years later. My mom died in 2017. The last eighteen months of my mom's life she lived with me and I was her full time sole career. After she died I had no one dependant on me anymore. So I thought finally it was my time. And I can't wait to move closer to my children and three grandsons. All because of other people's selfishness I am still here. When I should have been by them in September. I am not usually a vindictive person but I hope the two buyers who pulled out on me have horrible things happen to them. If anyone has read though this rant thank you. It feels so could to have a good moan.

HildaW Sat 20-Apr-19 11:28:00

Whiff, totally agree with you about the horror of being subject to everyone else.....its a ghastly feeling a bit like being tossed alone in a boat totally out at sea. There is nothing to hang on to and every day is full of complete uncertainty. Not sure me capturing your pain will help, but I do fully understand. We have exchanged but until that money is in the bank next week I'm still unsettled and very quick to panic and worry.
House buying does seem to bring out the worse in people and why perfectly decent people feel they can say one thing but mean something else I have no idea. All the professionals involved in house buying and selling seem to get some pretty horrid comments but I'm pretty sure its much more to do with them covering for their clients.
When we visited our, hopefully final home - I'm only leaving it now in a box or gaga, for the second time and confirmed that we were all set to buy it, the look on the EA's face was a picture. She was sick to death of people phoning up, waxing lyrical (its a very small new development of 10 houses) demanding multiple visits at the drop of a hat which are quite complicated on a new site, and then just disappearing into the ether. If you treat the professionals with respect and are open and honest about what you want and how you can proceed its amazing how good they are. I think most of the complaints are much more about people being devious, not being fully truthful and then just being totally disorganised. We were all set to complete a fortnight ago but someone right at the beginning of the chain suddenly decided to go on holiday and hold everyone up even though dates had been agreed! Bizarre.
Hang in there Whiff, have a good moan from time to time and try and find something else to focus on from day to day - being alone and worrying is not good and although I am a fine one to talk ....the power of negative thought is damaging and you can find yourself feeling very low, so try to find something to take your mind of it. Good luck, we have all been through it and know how painful it is.

craftyone Sat 20-Apr-19 15:01:47

whiff, yes I agree, you need to be able to take your mind off this but easier said than done eh. No-one in the house when a thought flips into your head and there it stays all through the night. I lived through by packing but so that the house remained tidy. I went on a steam train. Went to the allotment but still it was not enough and the days felt very long. Live by the fact that it will happen, it just takes that one person

So I had another hiccough late on thursday ie a very obscure question about the roofing, I mean how would I know. I think my buyer is playing delaying tactics and I am getting that vengeful feeling again. I actually did something about it just now. When dh died I carried on with the new kitchen with the best quality appliances that we were buying, those last ones in a lifetime. I bought extras and they cost me a mint, lets say £800. Not part of any appliance but nice loose extras and I have just taken them out and wrapped them together. It is called vengence and I have no regrets, it started with her asking for me to pay the indemnity for a 100% good job in the house and there was more, much more

I thought I was getting bosch appliances in my new house but I think they are cheap cda with awful reviews. Sigh, I did not notice quick enough. However the builder has done several very good and quite expensive job for me so maybe it will all come out in the wash.

craftyone Sat 20-Apr-19 16:18:27

mosaicwarts have you managed to get that socket area sorted?

mosaicwarts Sun 21-Apr-19 16:00:01

Hello craftyone - I only got the electrician's number late Thursday night, I am going to ring him on Tuesday. I've photographed it now so I can see if it's spreading! Argh the joys of house ownership! I watched Donnie Darko last night, I so wish I could travel back through time and persuade Steve to buy the nice new triple glazed house we saw!

Franbern Tue 23-Apr-19 11:06:18

Did six viewings in the heat last Saturday. First flat is the one I have offered for. Waiting with the phone at my side for EA's to contact me to let me know if my offer is acceptable.
Had to phone Solicitors today, I received all their bumph on the sale of my existing house, and did contact them to explain that I am just half owner and am Tenant in Common with my ex-husband. This is a purely financial arrangement. He has never lived here, and I have the deeds, etc. They then sent out all the paperwork to him - he was perplexed, I am quite annoyed. Why would they think that he should have these forms, even though I am the one actually living in the property being sold, etc.etc. I had already arranged with him to go there tomorrow for him to sign all the forms alongside my signature. Very gender biased it seems.
As I will downsizing quite considerably, I will not be taking a lot of furniture with. I will have Removing company that does all the packing. I am unwilling to get rid of other furniture, etc. at this stage, will wait until such time as contracts are (at least) signed, then it will mainly be getting something like British Heart Foundation to come to collect extra beds, bookcases, etc.etc.
I have been de-cluttering now for some four years, so pretty well on the way.
I will do my usual Spring clean of my kitchen cupboards slowly. This will mean that, hopefully, if all goes well, when I move they will just need a wipe out, but also means I will be seeing exactly what I have in them and do a good clear out.

craftyone Tue 23-Apr-19 15:46:19

That is progress franbern, all fingers crossed for you

I had the walk around this morning, completely love the new house and will complete tomorrow morning and move in tomorrow night. Am very grateful for finding the JL temporary window blinds. Car is fully packed for that first trip. I will manage another trip tomorrow. I felt very hyper and excited coming home, spoke to endless friendly people, how lucky I feel to be going there to live and to be part of the community

Stress when I got home, buyer had yet another question but after me speaking to the EAs legal secretary, buyer is killing time and trying to put the onus of stress on me. L Sec had some straight taking with my buyer and it looks as though I will exchange on this house later this week. Buyer has apologised profusely to the L sec. Fibs galorefrom the buyer btw but it seems as though she is now going to see sense. My EA is utterly fantastic, been hand holding all the way through, will have been worth every penny

Chewbacca Tue 23-Apr-19 15:58:52

I've just been informed by my solicitor--who is abrupt, curt and unpleasant-- that she exchanged contracts today and it should be completion on the 30th April. The whole house buying/selling process has been a great deal more stressful because of my solicitor's attitude and manner. Pleasant.. she is not.

craftyone Tue 23-Apr-19 17:52:19

Oh well done chewbacca, one week to go and I expect a lot to do and arrange. Fixed in a tablet of stone for completion at last. You will probably feel like me after exchange, still a bit anxious

My solicitor told me an hour ago that she has to legally speak to me personally about exchange, to ask my permission before it happens. I guess these conversations are recorded

HildaW Thu 25-Apr-19 13:57:23

Congrats Chewbacca! Solicitors do tend to keep communications to the briefest form possible, its just their way...economic with words. Do not read too much into it unless she has actually said something unpleasant. Luckily DH has dealt with most of the correspondence...he reads it and then we discuss it....our solicitor's e-mails are always short and succinct - to my mind they look very abrupt but they just say what they need to say.

craftyone Fri 26-Apr-19 11:49:26

So my buyer is still playing shennigan games, I am lucky in my EA and solicitor, they have put in a nice protective wall around me but I am still stressed only because of my buyer, her fibs and hoops and she is still fibbing. Exchange might (maybe might) be imminent so I am hanging around my original house, sitting in the reciner when I can, with a very aching back

I have done 5 very loaded car journeys, van sized and started energetic and upright. Most had to go upstairs and my footsteps turned to slow shuffles while my back became more and more sore. 2nd night in the aerobed last night and this time with woolly socks and a wool blanket over my duvet, change of weather stuff. Paracetamol and ibrufen in shorter gaps now, hopefully will end at 3 x daily and then I will stop as soon as.

This stuff that I have been moving, is all the bitty stuff and all my precious crafting equipment, lamps etc and much is heavy but really I am on the last lap, one carefully selected load today, after several hours in the recliner. I only have bits left, a max of 2 easier loads after today

The big upside is that I am putting things in the right rooms and the kitchen and bath rooms have some order. The removers will still have 6 solid trips but mainly big stuff ie workshop, garden as well as furniture and many large or heavy boxes as in books

No where to put most, except in the garage and living room but I will manage. I spent 2 days putting a foam floor down over the dusty concrete garage floor, looks very good but what started to kill my back was assembling all the chrome bigdug shelving units, they are actually much taller than me and some have 7 chrome shelves now locked into place

More another day, I have to get used to the very tiny en suite and small area of kitchen worktop. Tip run now and thank goodness that my car seat is supportive oh and am buying chocolate on the way back

HildaW Fri 26-Apr-19 18:44:57

Ruddy 'ell we completed today but were kept waiting till mid afternoon!! Suffice to say when I got a call from our very agitated solicitor in the afternoon saying they were still chasing funds I nearly lost plot. pretty much had a full blown panic attack as DH was out of the house and hes always a lot calmer than me - but even he had started to make plans for 'rattling cages'. Any way the money finally came in just in time to complete the sale. Am a wreck and have hit the wine!
I shall never ever be doing this again. I wish everyone else going through this a much smoother passage - it really is not for the feint hearted. I coped so much better in my 30s and 40s.....now I am just not equipped to cope. Good Luck all and bon chance!

craftyone Sat 27-Apr-19 11:33:54

oh Hilda, wow, that stress!!!

3 nights and 7th trip, almost done. Scred some hooks on doors and door stoppers and put lampshades up. I am very happy to be doing this in small doses, enables me to get things into correct areas and kitchen is looking ok. Very short on work surfaces but fine re larder etc. No ch last night, couldn`t get the boiler to pump, was plenty of hot water. Cold in bed even with socks on

mosaicwarts Sat 27-Apr-19 12:29:21

Congratulations Hilda, wishing you much happiness in your new home and I have marked your words in my heart, wherever I move to will be my final home!

Craftyone I'm sorry you are so cold, can you put a blanket under your sheet? I slept in an old cotton dress last night over my pjs, it was freezing, perhaps we had a frost? Not sure where all my old nighties have gone.

I'll be sorry when this thread ends, it's been so interesting 'moving' with you.

HildaW Sat 27-Apr-19 14:00:30

Stress has slowly began to ebb away although slept very oddly last night, sort of shallow and dream laden.
We did this move in two parts because we had chosen a new build and were very fortunate in that we could go ahead and buy it before selling the old one - with some scary and complicated reorganising of funds! It sounds easier but somehow was not. Getting the previous place sold was never going to be straightforward as although it was a lovely home it was not to everyone's taste (modern barn conversion but with a few grade 2 limitations).
We pretty much bent over backwards to ensure a sale to the point that we let the buyer begin to move in early in the morning before the contracts had been exchanged!!! Its not recommended but as we had been out of the building for 2 months it seemed churlish not to accommodate so you can imagine just how wound up I was when we had still not got funds and completion by well after the usual late morning time.
We went out this morning to celebrate by ordering a cute potting shed for new garden now that we are solvent!
Thanks for the good wishes for new home, we have been in it a couple of months and we are very happy with it but now that all is finally settled it seems even more welcoming and somehow 'just right' - funny how stress blinds you to the good stuff. I can now begin to enjoy planning the garden and getting acquainted with our new neighbours now that I truly feel we are here. I shall keep my fingers crossed for all those still in limbo - breathe deeply and keep plenty of bars of chocolate to hand....I swear it helps! X

Nannytopsy Sat 27-Apr-19 15:15:10

We have found the house we want but there has not been much interest in our lovely house. The EAs all say it is a great house in good condition which will fly but nothing happening yet. We have seen a house which we love and I will be so sad if it goes before we can make an offer.

mosaicwarts Sun 28-Apr-19 09:38:27

Nannytopsy I'll keep my fingers crossed for you but the general concensus seems to be that the market is very slow. I am trying to sell my difficult house and won't be looking until I sell.

My husband's saying was everything will be alright in the end, and if it's not alright, it's not the end. Hold tight!

craftyone Sun 28-Apr-19 13:54:05

Hilda, what a story! I am so happy for you, seems that mosaic`s husband was right and I am hanging onto his words for dear life. Hilda congratulations

There may have been a frost I was certainly cold at night, those cotton sheets after lovely cosy winter sheets. I was cool the next 2 nights too and last night realised why the radiators upstairs had not come on, I am sure it is a motorised central heating valve. I will gently guide the plumber but keep my mouth zipped, can`t have a woman maybe having an answer.

Also a couple of other teething probs, a tiny constant ooze of water at the bottom of an electric rad in the very small en suite, managed to get a small bowl under. Put the switch on only for the sockets upstairs all to trip. Found the trip switch, minus torch and flicked it, the ch motorised valve moved and the rads came on for 10 minutes. Electrical and plumbing probs but probably minor. Underfloor heating downstairs ie 2 circuits and 1 boiler

I unpacked the toaster last night and have hardly room left for anything, got to get to grips with tiny workspace, will prob have to get a long butchers block on castors and an extension lead, I cannot be doing with lifting heavy kitchen stuff, like my old ice cream maker

Me too btw, re enjoying this thread. It has been so good to be able to `dump` some anxieties and to realise that others are also going through house stress and most of us are eating lots of chocolate and biscuits

HildaW Sun 28-Apr-19 15:37:59

craftyone, I have had to get used to a smaller kitchen and have treated myself to a smart butchers block. It will stay in place most of the time but has two lockable wheels (4 in all) for moving it about. Am very pleased with it - has added some very useful storage and improved flexibility of preparation area.

mosaicwarts Mon 29-Apr-19 12:48:58

Sympathise with tiny work space Craftyone, but butcher's block or tiny table? I use my kitchen table for mixing as it's lower than the worktop, I'm 5 foot 2. Hope you can make it work. Mmm ice cream maker! I must recommend the new Carte D'or tiny ice creams, Pavlova flavour. Had to eat both, of course, would have been rude not to!

I'm just coming on for a moan really as I can't say anything to anyone as it's all part of the stress of house selling, but I do like your fish on a hook analogy as that's what I feel like today.

I had a viewing booked for this pm and spent the weekend chopping up a mountain of really spiky pyracanta cuttings and going to the dump. My dog had to give up his evening beach walk as I was so slow - somehow I've pulled a muscle in my chest. Only finished late last night, and managed to sweep the area this morning.

Everything spotless, new electric wax candle with spiced orange wax melt and central heating on, cat litter box and all pet foods hidden away ... they've cancelled! At least they've rearranged, I've got to show them around Wednesday as the EA isn't available.

Off to raid the biscuit tin and eat them outside, have to be crumb free until Wednesday!

HildaW Mon 29-Apr-19 13:53:06

Oh I wore myself ragged keeping the house neat for prospective viewers. I got so stressed I would volunteer to take the dog for an extra long walk and leave DH to stay. We could have had the EA but it made the visits less flexible. In the end we went ahead with buying a new property before we had sold (see above). This meant that once Christmas was over we started packing up and sorting out as the completion date for the new house was moved forward. The daft thing was that all of a sudden we had a box strewn house that made housework difficult so warned potential viewers that it was a bit messy. Within a week we had two firm offers! They had both viewed the house in a mess and were in no way put off!

HildaW Mon 29-Apr-19 13:57:10

P.S. Think we need to start a thread helping each other out with our stress related biscuit induced spare tyres.

Franbern Tue 30-Apr-19 10:24:36

The last time I moved was 16 years ago and it was all pretty smooth, although did not feel like it at the time. On the day I moved in here I stated I would never, ever move again, only leave here in a cardboard box.
But really do need to move into a flat, and there are other reason for selling this house.
However, it does seem to have got much more complicated now than it was then. The forms from the Solicitors for me to complete for them seem to require a legal degree to do so. Cannot remember anything like that last time. Had to get one of my daughters (with legal training) to assist me in filling in the long many-paged document for the sale, and then I got an envelope with more documents for the purchase.
Having to provide birth cert. passport, utility bill to selling EA's, purchase EA's, Solicitors - it just goes on and on.
Nightmare last night as to whether my removers (when I get to that point), will be able to sort out my electric bed, which was actually built in situ.
Still continuing to try to clear out cupboards and get rid of so much. Keep telling myself - just me - I really do not need to keep so much baggage - and (assuming I do actually move into this small flat), it will be so much easier for my children when they have to clear out after I die.
Today I am tackling my food can cupboard - always had sort of siege mentality - and will not have room for more than a few tins in the new kitchen.

craftyone Tue 30-Apr-19 11:25:12

I`ll be back to read posts properly soon, I hope. Am waiting for the buyers surveyor, talk about last minute. She is the stress maker in this chain. Stress re selling is still very much on-going

craftyone Tue 30-Apr-19 11:28:49

I am up to your post Hilda and have already eyed up the eddington block that I want, need the funds from completion first. I like the ablity to move it aspect. Still waiting for surveyor and a bit nervous

Chewbacca Tue 30-Apr-19 12:20:14

Completion today! I'm going to pick up the keys in an hour. I've already sorted out appointments for an electrician; a glazing company for new French windows; decorator and IKEA to refit kitchen. A hectic few months lies ahead.

Eglantine21 Tue 30-Apr-19 12:43:19

I’m envious! Still stuck in my little rented place with money in the bank and nobody that seriously wants to sell.....

craftyone Tue 30-Apr-19 13:31:01

Eglantine, if you like a particular area then try the note through the door. Once we had to move from the lakes to s wales and we first of all went to the ed dept, then they did tell you straight facts about schools. We put a wanted ad in the local paper and got a smashing house in a village, an older couple who had only been thinking about selling

chewbacca, a happy dance for you, many congratulations. I too have been arranging appointments, storage cupboard man, shutters men, broadband. I have to say that the `have to do` things are generating their own stress ie driving licence, utilities etc

mosaicwarts Tue 30-Apr-19 13:33:40

Surveyor, Craftyone? Bit late isn't it?

Just coming in for a nosey, Wednesday night's viewing just cancelled because she has to pick up her son from the airport - odd she forgot such an important arrangement! Have told the EA to let her choose another night, hopefully a sunny one smile

mosaicwarts Tue 30-Apr-19 13:35:17

Congratulations Chewbacca, I'm green with envy smile Wishing you much happiness in your new home.

craftyone Tue 30-Apr-19 14:32:55

yes mw, that woman my so called cash buyer who told a lot of fibs. My solicitor and Ea are pulling out the stops and using pressure to try and get exchange soon. It was a mortgage valuation survey and he was nice, older and was very interested in my structs eng husband`s drawings of wall profile etc, a non-standard build house. I was also asked many questions but know this house and structure inside out.

Car is loaded again and it was hard work to get the 3 seats back in, psyching myself up to get going back to the new house but am comfy in the recliner and my shoulder is giving me gyp, I think it will be paracetamol again before bed. It is not at all pleasureable to kill time with only a folding kitchen chair and I canot think of many more jobs now that the lampshades are up. I have managed without buying any new ones and by golly I remember smarting at the total cost when coming to the present house

oh yes, remember me smarting at the indemnity premium for very beneficial electrics? I just got my money back by deciding that I would be packing my rotary airer, I found a ground tube on amazon. I am still leaving her a line. My airer is only 40 months old and was stored every winter

HildaW Tue 30-Apr-19 16:05:27

Craftyone, yes mine is an Eddington and am very happy with it. However, ordered it from John Lewis but the products actually come direct from Eddington who have a rather lackadaisical delivery system. They basically split the country into 4 areas and deliver to each area in turn but John Lewis fail to inform you quite what this means. Basically because we were not available for the first date they gave us we had to wait for the whole cycle to go around again so basically had to wait another 5 weeks. All well and good if you understand that....but it was not well explained.

craftyone Tue 30-Apr-19 18:35:14

Just saying that I have my first ever smartphone, because I needed the internet. So excuse me if I make worse mistakes than normal. Missed a few calls so far, must look up which button to press

Yes hilda, eddington is lovely. I have a small one from 20 years ago. The worse bit with a new one is the oiling but I already have catskill oil in. Harts of stur will not be beaten on price. Has to be solid because giving away my legs creuset's casseroles would be a step too far

Have found some stick up hooks and corner shelves. They will help a bit, don't want to be making holes. All this time, me dreading the backache and getting no relief from my 1 folding chair. I would have brought my Lafuma garden recliner myself and put a blanket on top to rest my weary back

1st move tomorrow but nothing for inside

Chewbacca Tue 30-Apr-19 23:13:35

Well... that was an interesting first day in my new home! Got the keys at 1 o'clock and started to move stuff in. At 6 o'clock I went to put something in the cupboard under the stairs and smelt gas.shock Called the emergency gas number and they came out within the hour and immediately condemned the gas meter. So no heating. No hot water. Gas company coming back tomorrow to replace the meter which, very fortunately, is free of charge.

Of all the problems I was expecting, that wasn't one of them. sigh

On the plus side, I've met my new neighbours and they were lovely and helpful.

craftyone Wed 01-May-19 07:30:23

Isn`t there always something chewbacca. My serious one is no paperwork or certificates. They should have been left in a pack at the house. I `m going to do some intense chasing up next week. Their solicitor and not mine. Sigh, I could do without that but I won`t lie down and give up

Waiting for the removers at 9am, always early for everything but I had to get to bed at 8.30, was falling asleep on my feet. My one daily dose of paracetamol and I slept all through apart from a loo break. 8 hours last night, at last my batteries are re-charging. No painkillers as soon as. I learnt how to answer the phone, never knew I had to swipe first, now I have a tap. One person tried to ring me 3 times, a local man for blinds. Appointments start tomorrow. I need to get the garage done tomorrow, lots of storage after today. More normal on sunday, changing the pace to slow and will be on the allotment.

Two areas of stress now, selling my house and not having any certificates for the new one

mosaicwarts Wed 01-May-19 13:56:56

Hugs to all, especially Craftyone with your bad back. Don't you like taking painkillers? If you take more consistently it has a cumulative effect of pain relief? So sorry it's sore.

Just about to put my dog in the car for my viewing (Monday's cancellation) and they've cancelled again with a very flippant email to the EA late last night. It appears they are now away for a month. I asked the EA to give them my number as I was doing the viewing, and have asked them to contact me direct for a viewing next time, if there is one. How very dare they! My new electric wax candle won't have any pong left at this rate.

Pinch and a punch for the first of the month. God help me if I'm still here May 1st 2020. xx

craftyone Fri 03-May-19 14:48:16

I am thinking of you all, still here but getting sorted, just the garage and followed mosaics sound advice re continuing the painkillers. I was always of the mind that the pain from unaccustomed exercise was telling me something but s*d it, I was going to work through the pain and become miserable, so I often it was, after the first proper meal I cooked in ages albeit on one steamer

So the garage is as done as I can hope for, even stacked all my preserves and my bike is handy for the shops, one day

My house was supposed to exchange yesterday and guess who still had to transfer the money out of a savings account? No exchange yet today and my solicitor is now on holiday for 9 days. She has a sub. Stress continues in that department and I am off to the yop

mosaicwarts Sat 04-May-19 10:21:04

Hello Craftyone, how awful to leave you dangling for so long. I almost wonder if I should bite the bullet and stay here until my end, I'm not sure I'm strong enough for all the forthcoming stress and messing about. Terrible weather here last night, windows nearly coming in with the hail. Oh for triple glazing!

Look forward to your 'sub' telling you all is well smile

Eleanor21 Sat 04-May-19 10:46:46

Yesterday was supposed to be exchange day for a deceased relative’s house that I jointly own. Our Conveyancer made a complete hash of it, she had forgotten to send us the legal documents we had to sign. She emailed them to us, not completed, wrong price, one page missing, I managed to sign, scan and return but my co owner was out for most of the day so the paperwork was only returned at the last moment to allow the exchange to take place.
I hope her final bill reflects this nonsense.

mosaicwarts Sat 04-May-19 17:46:35

Oh no, what a stinker. I need to buy a new printer with a proper scanner, fell for a 'Which' recommendation which unfortunately is useless.

I hope her final bill does reflect it. Glad the exchange has happened and you can relax a bit.

petra Sat 04-May-19 19:17:46

Like everyone here the last move was hell.
We were in our new place for some weeks/months? when I received a summons from the court for non payment of council tax. It appeared that the new owners hadn't moved in and their solicitors hadn't registered the property with the land registry office in the new owners name!!!!
I was beyond Distraught.

mosaicwarts Sat 04-May-19 20:23:09

Honestly Petra, we can't fart without someone trying to fine us or take us to court.

I am seriously wondering about spending my small nest egg on my roof and windows and staying put instead!

craftyone Sun 05-May-19 11:57:54

Mosaic, I understand what you are saying but what about all those steps in the winter ice. Have a look at what you might get from a house buying company or perhaps as a trade with a house builder

Ok here, love my new house, now my 'cash' buyer has to cash an isa to exchange. Still feeling vengeful for the bad way she is treating me and her buyer. Neighbours are now very wary. Was so busy yesterday I suddenly could not remember my new address. Today a tip run, .moving more stuff here in my car and have started digging a small veg patch and removed 4 barrows of stones so far

I will have my bed in 2 days

Chewbacca Sun 05-May-19 12:17:48

Problems with my "new" house continue to reveal thems. Electrician can't put new spot lights in the kitchen ceiling until the mess of diy wiring has been unravelled. This will mean lifting the bedroom carpet and floorboards and then replastering the ceiling so he has a flush surface to work on.
Spent the last few days stripping wallpaper off the kitchen walls and found holes in the plaster the size of dinner plates, so that will need remastering as well.
Stripped the wallpaper off the living room walls and discovered graffiti scrawled, in gloss paint, underneath.

I've decided to have the kitchen, living room and main bedroom replastered, rather than redecorate, so that I have a clean, smooth surface to simply paint in the future. But the upheaval and mess it will generate, plus drying time, is another setback that I hadn't imagined.

Messrs Bodgit and Scarper are alive and well. angry

Chewbacca Sun 05-May-19 12:18:52

remastering? Replastering!

craftyone Sun 05-May-19 15:20:59

Mosaic. A property auction and a special estate agent who would market it in all the train magazines. It would be fine and dusted, no faff and you would have a safe reserve

Chewbacca, that is a nightmare horror story

craftyone Tue 07-May-19 06:39:08

The big moving day today, I must o Lynn use a van and 2 men, they are wonderful. Garage/workshop is done. I have personally made 14 trips in my capacious car, it has helped me a lot, staggering the unpacking. Slept on an aetobed for 12 nights, real bed tonight. Men have been on holidays

Drafted wet tomorrow, hence extra trips yesterday don't want rain Mark's on my nice wood or leather. Hoping to get all furniture shifted on 2 trips today and boxes tomorrow

Rampant sore left shoulder, paracetamol taken. I need to stretch on my teeter, feel inches shorter and pretty tired. Need cycling and fresh air

HildaW Tue 07-May-19 12:04:37

Honestly you think you have cleared all the stress from moving and something arrives in the post. Its nothing much but when you are still over sensitive.....will I ever truly be back to 'normal'?.......it only takes something small to get you worried again.
Any road up....two letters in post this morning both from previous house's water suppliers.....one thanking us for final clearing balance...t'other demanding to know why we have cancelled direct debit and wanting an explanation! Honestly, wish these folks would realise the effect this missives can have on us old(ish) and fragile!
Is it any wonder the health check at the new Drs surgery has identified a rather high blood pressure reading that needs investigating!! Am all set to be wired up for the day to check.....sheesh!

mosaicwarts Tue 07-May-19 13:20:20

Just popped in to see how you all are - sorry you are stressed HildaW. Computer generated 'mistake' letters are such a waste of paper aren't they.

I'm off to see my counsellor for the second time today, I hope she doesn't upset me again. I wish I could find the letter from my late husband's MIL, but do think he probably destroyed it.

I'm trying to leave the house in an almost viewing ready condition at all times now. No viewings this week yet.

Have a good week!

craftyone Wed 08-May-19 17:33:18

Suddenly today, I am all moved in. Today I also exchanged on the house I am leaving, with completion in 2 days. Back and forth to the tip, car fully loaded and I get a tyre problem. Time to test my new location, 1 mile, lovely man has booked a repair. To my delight, my solicitor has a branch very close to home, a doc to sign.

I never would have believed what I am about to say but this house stress, doing it all as a single person, has been utterly stressful and worse than when my husband died. There have been so very many twists and turns and knockbacks and dependent on so many people, some of whom let you down

craftyone Wed 08-May-19 17:37:39

I was just going to say that it has affected eating sleeping and exercise and the nails on my right hand have so many awful white splodges, not usual for me

I have been tested to the extreme and not just by my buyer but how I manage to drill holes in walls and get things away into a much smaller space. I am surrounded by boxes but at least i have my own bed back. I will never move again, never

HildaW Wed 08-May-19 18:55:51

craftyone....has definitely affected my eating habits, had a health check the other day...signing on at new doctors they offered one. Have put on half a stone and BP is causing concern for the first time ever...have got to have some investigations. My sleep is beginning to improve but am dreaming some really vivid stuff at the moment....my brain working through the stress I suppose.
I need to find somewhere to do some gentle exercise, I know it helps but I'm not good in organised classes as I have a left/right confusion that gets worse under stress. I can never follow instructions in a group and it all gets a bit embarrassing and far from relaxing. I am so glad you are getting sorted, finally getting shot of the previous house is the best release.....knowing that its now out of one's hands is lovely. Hope you can wind down now.

mosaicwarts Wed 08-May-19 19:34:28

Congratulations Craftyone, wishing you every happiness in your new home.

HildaW can you swim? I can't but all my friends can, and say it has helped them keep their weight down. I walk my dog three times a day but do overeat. I saw a healthy eating programme where it said portion sizes are far too large now and a portion should be the size of the palm of your hand. I'm just about to have veg sausages and mash with a football sized portion of mash! It's freezing here!

xx

craftyone Wed 08-May-19 19:51:08

Trouble is that swimming is wet. I am getting my bike out next fine day. Got to get back to some sort of normal. First downsizing at an ever escalating pace then getting the house ready to sell then dealing with the dreadful process and dishonest people, then packing which starts neatly and ends up jamming things into boxes. Then the whole stressful move. Hilda, as you well know, it had been an utterly dreadful process. I even hated the house hunting

rubysong Wed 08-May-19 20:35:17

Congratulations Craftyone it has been a long haul for you. I hope you will be very happy. Do not wear yourself out unpacking. You need to take your time and relax a bit now you are in. We moved last year so I know how much hard work it involves, and our move was straightforward (half a mile in distance) and the are two of us but it was hard work.

mosaicwarts Wed 08-May-19 21:29:41

Funny you saying about unpacking rubysong. When we moved here I was overwhelmed by the state of the place, and didn't unpack properly for ages. There just wasn't anywhere to put things until we'd purchased them and at the time the children had a LOT of toys.

A very snooty neighbour babysat one evening and upon our return said, good luck with your unpacking, I always endeavour to unpack on the day I move, or at least by the next evening! Needless to say we didn't ask her to babysit again, so very judgemental.

HildaW Thu 09-May-19 10:36:22

I used to enjoy swimming but am not a fan of modern swimming facilities, all that communal changing puts me off! Years ago the lovely old fashioned swimming pool where we lived had 'Ladies nights' and you could really relax and just do your lengths and stop for a natter without being swamped by blokes or having to avert your eyes when they stood around posing. There was a lovely supportive atmosphere but when the place was deemed too old fashioned a new leisure centre was built with open changing areas and glass walls everywhere.....no where to hide. Hey ho.
Oh the joys of unpacking - I must admit that if you do not push yourself to get it done is does become daunting, hence the downsizing really needs to be done before you move. The joy of realising you have flattened the last box!
Our garage is still full of 'stuff' at the moment some will go in the shed...when it arrives in June and some is destined for DD but she's a bit preoccupied at the moment. I do hate stuff just lurking but at least I can close garage door and pretend its not there.
P.S. find a couple of smaller plates/bowls....sounds silly but just going down a few cms can really make a difference.

craftyone Thu 09-May-19 14:51:12

I admit that I am pushing myself right now, if I leave the boxes and many bags and suitcases out then I would be falling over them to kingdom come. There will be a nice recovery period when the 2 big fitted cupboards are done mid June. At the moment I am basically stuffing things anywhere I can find a space, not tidy not sorted. I will happily spend the next few months doing the final positioning.

I second what Hilda said, that the time to downsize is before the move because you can be the most organised but when push comes to shove and a remover says 'where do you want this?' you end up saying 'anywhere there is a space

midgey Thu 09-May-19 14:57:34

flowers for all of you! Do hope that you are beginning to settle and life is on the up again.

craftyone Sat 11-May-19 07:02:22

Thank you midgey, the mental stress turned to physical stress. Removers were excellent but it is still down to me alone to get things put away, I have shoved things into any space I could find, simply to get some areas of free movement. Now my hands are still aching and so are my shoulders after all that lifting, my nails and fingers are shot, lots of white bits on nails, a physical sign that made me say woah. I started eating properly again yesterday and went from temporary 2 a day to the 5 and need to get back up to the 8-12 that I normally eat

Now back to the paperwork and I have to go into my bank to change my address, I have to telephone the other bank. I let both councils know, the present one kept me on hold for 30 minutes, disgraceful. No bins yet and slowly, the delivery people are finding me, new build so post code is not working

Almost a disaster yesterday, accidentally locked my car key in the boot, the boot which automatically locks. Asked my husband where on earth was my spare key and went straight to it, in a suitcase in my bedroom. I think this is linked to the small fluffy white feather that I found on the half landing when I was doing a final check on the house I was leaving. Some of you know where I am coming from, I always get help, never lose anything any more and alays see a fluffy white feather when I need it

Today, I have to ring the bank, go to the tip, go to another bank and then treat myself with a visit to a large furniture store and buy a bookcase to fit behind my kitchen door. They have them in stock

No tv yet, no aerial yet and it will have to be in the loft. My near neighbour seems nice, male on his own but I tread very cautiously. Will never trust a stranger, especially one that is a little over helpful and mentions the price of gold, who is friends with the EA, who had to see my financial details before buying this house. He has no idea that I am ultra financially savvy, having traded in the past and managed my husbands pension. I come across as this little older lady and that is the impression that I want to give, not that of the astute mind

Riversidegirl Sat 11-May-19 20:31:56

I have a dread of selling and then having to find somewhere that I would like to stay for the rest of my life in a hurry!
We got together enough money to buy a small bungalow before selling our home of 35 years (downsizing and nearer children) but feel we are being treated like money launderers and criminals because we are paying "cash"....it's not cash is it, wads of fivers! Do we really have to show the estate agent all our private investment details? Passport, rates, pension statement etc?

Riversidegirl Sat 11-May-19 20:34:22

And all this government talk of making it easier for us old folk to leave our big houses and downsize is rubbish. Can't get a mortgage, or a bridging loan at reasonable rates , despite having an income.

HildaW Sat 11-May-19 20:42:51

Riversidegirl, Please do not take it personally we went through this as we too preferred to buy a newly released new build and sell later. We are not especially well off it was just fortunate that we had not put all our money into our house as we had moved to a very rural and therefore less expensive area. Perhaps you are being a bit too sensitive, its a perfectly decent way to go about buying a home you know will really suit. The things you mention that EAs need to see are more about establishing identity...and then if you are 'cash' buyers they do need proof of funds for their clients. If you look at it from the vendors point of view you do not want to accept a firm offer from someone only to find out.....as many do.....that the prospective purchasers are being less than honest.
Its true that all these rules are about potential money laundering and that the real culprits probably get away with it....but hey ho.....small price to pay if its the house you will be in for the rest of your foreseeable. Do not feel offended - just enjoy choosing the house you really want and being in a strong position to buy it. On paper a 'cash' buyer is always a great option for any vendor.

Riversidegirl Sun 12-May-19 10:31:19

Thanks HildaW..... I know I'm taking it personally, can't help it! Plus we are going on holiday, just 10 days after we found the new place. So we've had to make a quick decision, fingers crossed we have done the right thing. Just 2 days left to try and see the solicitor and get the money sorted out.

HildaW Sun 12-May-19 12:09:36

Riversidegirl, I have kept my head down with financial matters but I have been aware that in the press over the years there has been a bit of bashing/bitching of those of us who have lead modest lives and been a bit careful but now thankfully can afford the odd holiday and ensure we have a comfortable future. Dh worked hard in a profession he had to train long and hard for and I worked PT, we saved for holidays and for when we wanted to buy a new carpet or sofa. We viewed credit cards as a useful tool but never got into debt etc etc. Yet nowadays we are made to feel guilty for being 'comfortable' and for making sure we can pay our way. Enjoy your choices and good luck!

Riversidegirl Sun 12-May-19 12:24:37

Thank you . I think many of us feel the same. We had nothing when we got married. Anything we have we worked for. Now we might be giving stuff away!

craftyone Sun 12-May-19 18:11:44

I will join you in those exact sentiments. I have lived a frugal life, all my life and always with an eye to the future, without salaries income. Once upon a time, a holiday was simple camping and a treat at night was a cake. Much of our furniture was second hand. We managed to start saving in our fifties and we did save, hence the cash to be able to buy a nice modest house, all the time.e hoping that our house sale would soon follow and it did, with a clear 2 weeks to get moved out

I felt more of a criminal today, the completion money is in and I am trying to move it back into savings accounts but the Halifax has a fairly low daily limit. My third day of moving some onto a building society and they were going to block my account, unless i rang a given number. I then had to go through a very hefty fraud check all sorts of questions with dates. Us innocents are suffering because of money laundering criminals

Riversidegirl Mon 13-May-19 10:16:46

Oh how I feel for you. Hope it all gets sorted.

Riversidegirl Mon 13-May-19 11:52:36

This morning we sent everything via email that estate agent had asked for. Then came later a standard letter asking for stuff (2 lists) that not many would not be able to get. eg Passport etc verified by either doctor! bank manager! accountant! We rarely go to the doctor (yet) and he/she changes weekly. No accountant. Who has a bank manager these days? On the other list, did not mention at all pension notice, or anything like that. Women who have been married a long time are rarely named on utility bills. To get proof of being on electoral roll, would have to wait for council to get into gear. Have just thrown away Euro pink voting slip, as we did a postal vote. DH, who is out, then receives an email saying everything is ok! Huh....

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