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We finally did it - downsizing - no regrets at all

(53 Posts)
cossybabe Sat 03-Aug-19 11:04:16

After 38 years, we finally sold our family home, leaving a very large 5 bedroom house to move into a small 2 bedroom bungalow.

We had to get rid of almost everything and buy new furniture for the bungalow.

I thought I would be upset about seeing it all go, but we have found it so liberating and have no regrets at all.

We are so pleased we have done it - how was your downsizing experience?

Day6 Sat 03-Aug-19 11:21:56

Well, we ended up with a lovely house but we have four bedrooms because we do have friends and family come and visit us. It's a better fit for us because one requirement was two sitting rooms (one each for when I need music or to read and he wants his sport) and a cloakroom downstairs big enough to convert to a walk in shower room should the time come when we can no longer manager stairs. We found a lovely, older but modernised detached house which ticked all the boxes - one being a reasonably big garden for OH. We made the mistake of bringing too much with us though as the garage is full to bursting with boxes of oddments which we really should sort out. confused

So, a forever home for us after 36 years for me in my last one, and 20+ years for OH in his old place. We are not very good at being ruthless. I admire you cossybabe, for properly downsizing and starting afresh without the old baggage. It must be liberating.

tanith Sat 03-Aug-19 11:38:06

Well done both of you, I’m already in a small 2bed house which we downsized to 20 yrs ago but I have no place for ground floor bathroom/toilet so can envisage me moving again now I’m on my own but it’s not easy to find a bungalow (ideal) that I could afford in the suburbs of London, I’ll really miss a garden so want to avoid a flat unless there is a garden it’s not an easy search.

So not sure what the answer is but I have time to figure it out I envy you having found your forever homes.

M0nica Sat 03-Aug-19 11:46:26

When we down sized it was literal, we swapped a large late 19th century semi over 4 floors, for the same quantity of space over 2 floors in a low ceilinged medieval farm house.

We have been here over 20 years, are in our mid-70s and still managing the house and garden without problem (plus another in France). If we downsize again, we will still want the floor space, but much less garden. It is the garden that will drive our down sizing.

midgey Sat 03-Aug-19 11:50:04

Tanith you could always try ‘guerrilla* gardening! grin

Framilode Sat 03-Aug-19 11:50:29

When we moved back from Spain we downsized to a smallish 3 bed detached (non estate) in a village. It took a bit of adjusting to as we had a very large villa in Spain.

It is all so much easier to clean and very cosy in Winter. We also had a lot of land round our villa which was becoming a burden. Here we have a smallish garden, but private and had been beautifully laid out. My only regret is that we don't have two sitting rooms for the reasons given above. We have a conservatory but if we win big on the premiums we will convert it into a garden room.

Framilode Sat 03-Aug-19 11:52:04

Good luck Cossybabe. I am so pleased that you are happy with your decision.

crazyH Sat 03-Aug-19 12:03:58

After my divorce, I downsized from a large 5 bed detached house with 3 large living room downstairs, 3/4 acre garden etc etc to a small 4 bed compact house, 1 living room, with a tiny garden. Best thing I ever did. it was not a question of choice, it was a question of 'needs must'. On my own, I could never have afforded the upkeep of such a large house and garden. And the equity, I tucked away for a rainy day.

lmm6 Sat 03-Aug-19 12:10:26

Reading the above posts, it doesn't sound as if anyone regrets their decision to downsize. Our experience is slightly different but, when we were refurbishing our home, we moved into a caravan on a managed site for 2 months. It was extremely modern with absolutely everything to hand. We missed nothing at all from our home. Made me think just how little "stuff" we really need. I could have happily stayed there.

Minniemoo Sat 03-Aug-19 12:14:00

I'm a bit of a hoarder and just can't see me being able to downsize.

I also swore that after we'd finally moved into the house we have now that I would never move again.

The house isn't huge. It has 5 bedrooms but youngest daughter still lives here on and off. One room is filled with Christmas Decorations (yes, we have far too many) and the other is used as a playroom for visiting grandchildren.

We'll just have to get a stannah stairlift if we get to that stage.

But well done and good luck to all you who have manged the move successfully!

Minniemoo Sat 03-Aug-19 12:15:15

Oh and we occupy the 2 other bedrooms! Sometimes I like my own space and love to stretch out in an empty bed. With my small dog of course!

Cabbie21 Sat 03-Aug-19 12:38:59

We downsized five years ago from a 5 bed to a 3 bed. We have an extra room plus WC and shower on the ground floor as well as family bathroom upstairs. It is easy to access, bus stop 100 m away, 10 mins walk to shops, library, health centre, good road connections. Perfect.
But although we got rid of masses of stuff ( charity shops, recycling centre, sold a bit ) we still have far too much and not enough room. The loft is full, the garage is full. I keep telling DH we won’t live for ever and he can’t take it with him.

Greta8 Sun 04-Aug-19 02:07:38

We've just successfully downsized. So thrilled with our new home. It took us five months and have moved from a large cottage with a very big garden to a fairly modern four bed detached with a small pretty garden. We took all our furniture, as we weren't completely sure how it would fit and ironically we need to buy a few more bits and pieces - stuff like side tables. This is because of the different configuration of the rooms. We also have a nice amount of equity stashed away now, due to moving to a cheaper area. This was to be near my darling daughter and son-in-law and our new grand-son. I feel a very lucky and happy woman. A novel experience after a few difficult years!

BBbevan Sun 04-Aug-19 06:37:02

Due to the difference in house prices where we used to live, and here , we upsized We lived in a road that was turning into a car park. The whole town was dirty, grey and crowded.
Now we have a detached, light airy house near the sea and we love it. We are slowly future proofing both house and garden, for when we can't do as much. Best thing we ever did.

Sara65 Sun 04-Aug-19 08:11:51

It’s good to read so much positivity. I know the point will come when we need to downsize, but I don’t look forward to it. Like Day6 I couldn’t bear having just one reception room, he likes his rugby, I like my peace, we have lots of visiting children /grandchildren, I don’t like sharing my bathroom, and there’s plenty of space here to spread out.

But realistically I know the time will come, because it’s a lot to manage, and there always seems to be something that needs doing. But the thought of parting with all my stuff is depressing, you accumulate things over a lifetime, and then suddenly go into reverse, and get rid of it all!

Maybe when the time comes, we’ll find it liberating, hope so!

Urmstongran Sun 04-Aug-19 08:31:07

Needs must with us, but especially since retirement it’s worked out perfectly. A small apartment in South Manchester and another one here in Malaga. The one here has gardens, palm trees, plants and two swimming pools, plus tennis court (not for me!), a pool table and a garden bar. There are 5 bars outside for tapas, pizzas etc. The beach is a short walk away.

The one at home is in the centre of town, round the corner to Sainsbury’s, the library, local bars and restaurants, across the road from the railway station and the library. And Thornton’s for chocolate!

Each place is easy to maintain, cheap to run as so small and can be locked up safely and left whilst ‘at the other place’.

The price of these two were from the selling of the house we had lived in with two daughters and two dogs for over 30 years. No equity though!

Lifts in both apartment blocks so good for when we get older - no stairs!

It wouldn’t suit everyone but we love it. People are fond of telling us how ‘lucky’ we are. It’s a simpler life, stripped back, with less possessions and ‘stuff’. Hoarders and crafters would hate the lack of space, but as someone upthread said, it makes me realise just how little we actually ‘need’ in life.

Pantglas1 Sun 04-Aug-19 08:42:57

Your last paragraph resonated with me Urmstongran. I have people tell me I’m lucky to have two homes - most live in huge houses which cost more to run than both my ‘umble two bedroom abodes put together! We all make our own choices don’t we and downsizing isn’t for everyone.

Sara65 Sun 04-Aug-19 08:45:35

Urmstongran

Sounds perfect

mosaicwarts Sun 04-Aug-19 08:50:59

Congratulations cossybabe, I'm very envious, still waiting for 'the one' to come along and buy my 5 bed so I can move somewhere smaller and easier to run. I hope your new home is full of love and laughter smile

PamelaJ1 Sun 04-Aug-19 09:09:15

I’m still waiting for ‘the moment’!
DH is on crutches as I write and I know I don’t want to be here on my own. I don’t want to look after a large garden and spend all my time maintaining the place. Id have to get a gardener, window cleaner etc.

I look on RMove regularly. Always check the floor plan first, see if there are any walls to knock down! What goes through a planners mind? Nothing apart from profit I think.

Nice to know that some of you seem to have made the right decisions.

Bellasnana Sun 04-Aug-19 09:54:54

When the children were growing up we were fortunate to have a lot of space with a 7 bedroomed villa, three garages, big garden and swimming pool here in Malta.

When we sold our restaurant, we had two teenagers still living at home, eldest two had gone to live in the US, so we decided to sell the villa as well. It was a bit of a wrench after nearly thirty years, and it is the longest I have ever lived in one house.

Clearing the clutter was a nightmare, plus getting rid of surplus to requirements furniture, but we did it and downsized to a four bedroomed, 500 year old typically Maltese house, with three floors and a central courtyard. No pool and no big garden.

Then my beloved H was diagnosed with cancer at 67, and a year later he was gone. I then had to downsize yet again.
It was a horrible time, I still don’t know how I did it, but am so very glad I did.

I now have a brand new maisonette, three bedrooms, enough outside space that I can manage, and all on one floor in case I am ever infirm.

Still have my son living at home which suits us both. I miss my H terribly and still have some of his clothes hanging in the cupboard, it was too hard to part with everything.

With the profit I made from selling the bigger house, I am now able to visit my two DD’s and DGD in the US, although I can’t be too extravagant.

It was the right decision for me, but I know it can be a tough one to make.

GrandmaMoira Sun 04-Aug-19 10:03:35

I moved recently from a 4 bed Edwardian inner city with 2 lofts, 4 downstairs rooms and cellar to a 4 bed 30s outer suburbs - no cellar or loft as the loft is the 4th bedroom and only lounge and kitchen diner. I did get rid of masses of stuff. I haven't downsized much but still have family stay every week. This house is in much better condition, nearer shops, in a nicer area and I now have a nest egg - all positive.
For the future, I have a utility room which could become a downstairs shower room if necessary and there are nice flats and retirement flats nearby.

GrannyLiv Sun 04-Aug-19 10:07:39

The same experience as you cosybabe!

We moved, last year, from a two-storey house to a bungalow and let lots of possessions go in the process. We have been careful in choosing what furniture came with us and what we bought new, and have made an effort to keep the rooms as clutter free as possible. As you say, it is liberating!

The biggest shock for me is in the kitchen. New kitchen is half the size of the old kitchen and I couldn't possibly fit all the pots, dishes, gadgets etc in. But whilst we were looking for a property, I had been making a start in boxing things up ready for a quick and painless move. On moving day I just took the boxes containing the essentials and left everything else behind. A year on, and I don't miss any of the gadgets I left in the other boxes!

Our son and his girlfriend are living in our old house and they use them now!

Books, dvd's, cd's were all either sold or donated. Clothes were sorted and lot's taken to charity shops or dropped at the clothes recycling bank. I have a few sentimental items that I won't part with, but I would say that the majority of our stuff didn't make the cut.

I've never been happier or felt more at peace smile

GrannyLiv Sun 04-Aug-19 10:19:03

PamelaJ1 - Stay positive, it'll happen. We were looking for over a year for our perfect house - checking rightmove several times every day! We eventually went to view a bungalow on Valentines day last year and moved into it 4 months later!

Some of the new build bungalows are designed with wheelchair users in mind, with wider passages and doorways and open plan as much as possible. There was a development close to us like that, that would have suited Hubby very well, but it was waaay outside our budget. We find ourselves in a 1980's build that has been very well maintained and, because we have chosen to furnish it with only the essentials, it feels very spacious and calming.

Keep checking RM and Zoopla! Good luck smile

GrannyLiv Sun 04-Aug-19 10:43:21

[Sara65] About accumulating lots of stuff - having had to clear out both my Mum's house after she died, I can firmly say that I do not want my son having to do the same for me.

Mum had lots of knick knacks - crystal ornaments, porcelain collectibles, decorative plates on almost every wall,not to mention a vast collection of glassware (a set of glasses for every conceivable style of drink - wine, champagne, sherry, brandy, port, martini, etc etc, even babycham glasses!). It took weeks to go through everything and find an alternative home for it all. Some items went to family members, some donated,

I ended up keeping certain ornaments not because I liked them, but because I knew that Mum liked them. My house started to become cluttered as a result. And when we decided we would be moving and I started to box up our possessions, I realised that, eventually, our son would have to deal with it all. I didn't want that, so started making inroads into downsizing.

I like to think that everything we let go is now owned by someone who is appreciating and using it, instead of being stuffed in a cupboard collecting dust and being considered clutter. I still have some sentimental items and old pieces of jewellery,but I plan on passing them to my Granddaughter when she is old enough.

I reckon that if the worst happened, it would take just one day to clear out our house now and I intend to keep it that way. For someone who had for a long time measured success in terms of material things, this is a whole new lease of life. And I love it!

Davidhs Sun 04-Aug-19 11:23:25

I’m glad I did 10 yrs ago from the 5 bed family home to a nice 3bed bungalow with a large garden. I did a swap with my daughter, suited us both, just took what we needed for the bungalow left the rest where it was, easy!.

Scribbles Sun 04-Aug-19 12:29:03

We did the down-sizing deed three years ago, from a rambling 4-bedroomed Edwardian terrace to a 2-bed bungalow. The old house was stuffed with 40+ years of accumulated junk possessions and getting rid of most of them was wonderful and very liberating.
Downsizing? Best thing we've ever done!

Carenza123 Tue 06-Aug-19 07:21:42

We sold up and returned to the UK last year after 17 years in Spain. We bought our present house, 3 bed semi on 6 year old estate, from looking on the internet. Our grown up children viewed it the next day, thought it suitable for us. We put in an offer and it was accepted. Never been happier! Easy to maintain, within walking distance of our village with all amenities. We had to furnish it and everything new. We love it and economic for running costs. Also near family. Feel blessed.

Sara65 Tue 06-Aug-19 08:11:33

Grannyliv

There are a lot of things I’d be reluctant to part with, I’m not a hoarder by any means, we had the same experience with my mother in law, and I’ve kept on top of things ever since, regularly clearing things out.

It’s just things like a lifetimes worth of books, literally thousands of photos, treasures to me, rubbish to my family

Davida1968 Tue 06-Aug-19 10:20:26

Made the move last year to a two-bed bungalow. This was after two years of determination, de-cluttering, and planning. So glad we did it - life is easier and more comfortable now. We're in our 60s and were determined to "get sorted" before reaching our 70s. I can say honestly that we haven't missed anything we got rid of. And the local charity shops have benefitted!

Framilode Tue 06-Aug-19 10:31:01

Carenza 123 you did exactly the same as we did when we came back from Spain, bought of the internet and trusted our adult children to look for us. Like you, it has worked out.

Whereabouts in Spain were you?

jeanie99 Tue 13-Aug-19 09:12:19

We moved for retirement from a 4 bed 3 bathroom bungalow on a large plot in a town of 24,000 people in Derbyshire to a 4 bed 2 bathrooms on a small plot in a village of 1000 people.
It is so perfect, our family can still come visit and stay, the garden is south/west facing on the back so lovely and sunny.
Bus stops 2 minutes away and runs every 30 minutes into the city of Lincoln.
We live in one of three villages close together, even without driving it is easy to get to the village shops and into the city.
Pub, church,junior school, village hall, scouts lots of things to do around where we are.
Goods walks to stretch the legs wouldn't want to live anywhere else.
It did take us almost 2 years though to find what we wanted.
Moving at any time needs a lot of thinking about.
Best of luck with the move

Luckygirl Tue 13-Aug-19 09:45:12

I am intrigued with the idea of "downsizing" to a 4 bed property as so many seem to have done!!! smile

Grannyjay Tue 13-Aug-19 10:36:07

I am amazed at how lucky some of you are. I am afraid I cannot compete with your previous large 5 bedroom houses downsized to 4! Is this a boasting blog. Honestly the one that felt they had to put in brackets “non estate” is verging on complete snobbery.

notentirelyallhere Tue 13-Aug-19 11:18:54

Grannyjay since you have been brave enough to comment, I'll agree with you. As I read through this thread I felt more and more queasy and thought of all those families suffering from the Tory austerity measures and all those young people who now can't afford homes. What a divided society the UK has become and so many people doing just fine on the back of an inflated property market. I suspect you and I are 'in for it' now!

Grannyjay Tue 13-Aug-19 13:08:09

Notentirelyallhere, I did wonder whether to comment as some may not have intended to sound so boastful. We live in a world of my house is bigger than your house etc and it becomes rather boring and pretentious. I know from experience from my daughter and husband struggled to save for a house and they both had good jobs but the problem was from buy to let landlords charging rents well over half their income. They just found it hard and many other young people who have good jobs, work hard cannot save. We live in a world of greed and it costs us in the end. We have social problems caused by not having a future and not being able to have a home. Don’t get me started on those boasting of having two homes! We had a future, jobs, social housing if required, free health care and not just some. Some moan on here about their GC being spoiled, it sounds like some of the GP’s are.

Framilode Tue 13-Aug-19 15:44:15

Grannyjay I was the one who put none estate. I can assure you it was in no way intended to be snobbish, just a statement of fact. We live in a very ordinary house in a village street. The only reason I put that was because many modernish houses now tend to be on estates. I have lived on some estates over the years but it wouldn't suit me now.

Absolutely no offence intended.

Scribbles Tue 13-Aug-19 17:15:56

Grannyj and Notentirely, perhaps it's worth reflecting that many of those who may have benefited from an inflated property market lived hand-to-mouth during the 1980s when interest rates reached 15%+. Like the current generation of house buyers, most of us worked full time and paid our own childcare costs and for our children's school lunches. In our case, we couldn't afford holidays, a home phone or a colour TV licence for many years; it all went towards keeping a roof over our heads.

Now that we've so smugly profited from our downsizing, how many of us are putting the windfall cash to use assisting our children with their housing or other needs or putting it aside to pay for future care for ourselves? Quite a lot, I suspect - but it's nobody else's business. Plainly, some will always be happiest when sniping at others.

Society always has been (and probably always will be) divided in all sorts of ways, including affluence and I haven't read anything here which sounded remotely boastful, only lots of well meaning attempts to answer the OP.

Day6 Tue 13-Aug-19 17:35:37

It’s just things like a lifetimes worth of books, literally thousands of photos, treasures to me, rubbish to my family

Same here, Sara65. I moved so many books with me to our new home - ones I had piling up in many rooms - that OH had to build shelves in 'my room', and I even bought another bookcase. (We took two with us when we moved.) Daft really as I have a Kindle now too!

And up-thread someone mentioned finding so many glasses for every occasion when they cleared out a relatives home...<cough> Guilty.

Day6 Tue 13-Aug-19 17:47:37

Well said Scribbles and Framilode

How on earth can anyone take offence at not wanting to live on an estate? It's a personal preference, surely? Lots of gorgeous new houses are being built not far from where we are but they don't tick our boxes. They don't have decent sized gardens and the two we viewed were over-looked and had a busy road (for the estate, so lots of traffic) so didn't suit us. Friends live on a new build on an estate and they are very happy. Horses for courses and you cannot object to that, surely? Some people wouldn't mind, but we do. That's not a crime is it?

I haven't read any boastful threads. We were the generation that went without material goods, cars, holidays etc because we just couldn't afford them. We really had to penny-pinch and go without. Comparing life today with life in the '60s and '70s is daft and rather mean-spirited I feel. We had to put up with the life and times we were born into, as does every generation. The generation before some of us (me, anyway) lived through wars, death, hardship and rationing. Did they resent our peace-time? I doubt it.

Framilode Tue 13-Aug-19 18:39:15

Wel said Day 6. You put that so much better than I could have done.

CanadianGran Tue 13-Aug-19 19:27:22

I haven't taken any of the remarks here to sound boastful. I think a lot of people in the 'gransnet' age group have worked hard for their houses over the years and planned well. Even some of us that perhaps didn't plan have benefited from the rise of real estate prices and paying off a mortgage over 20-30 years.
We have just recently purchased a second home in the Okanagan valley in BC. It is currently being rented out and in about 5 years we hope to be able to sell our main home here in the north and downsize.

I am happy to hear of all the good results from downsizing, although the thought of it makes me shiver with the amount of work involved!

Esther1 Tue 13-Aug-19 19:36:00

I don’t ever want to downsize. It’s the family homestead where we all congregate and enough space for everyone to make themselves at home - I hope they always think of it as Home.

DoraMarr Tue 13-Aug-19 21:13:01

I moved from a 4 bed family home with a huge garden in the suburbs to a two bed nine year old apartment near the city centre. No garden, but I’m next door to a park and I have a balcony to grow tomatoes and herbs. I have a large through room with a kitchen at one end. It’s great. I gave away all my furniture and bought new, lighter things. I realised that after my children left the actual space I used in the house was tiny compared with the rest: one sofa, a chair at the kitchen table etc and I hardly ever used the dining room. Now I have no stairs to clean, and it takes me a couple of hours to do the whole place. The only thing I miss is not having the papers delivered- I used to love sitting on the carpet with the Sunday papers and a tray of toast and tea.
Oh yes, and I was able to help two of my children buy their own places with the equity, and the other two got the same small amount.

GrandmaMoira Tue 13-Aug-19 21:30:37

I'm sorry if anyone was offended by my downsizing to a smaller 4 bed house. I do have family staying with me every week and sometimes for a few weeks at a time so I have one spare room for guests, otherwise I would have looked for a 2 bed house.
I admit that sometimes I think that, despite all our hard work and going without when young, some of us do have more than we need now, but I do help the family as much as I can, as most of us do.

Grannyjay Tue 13-Aug-19 22:17:46

boasting
/ˈbəʊstɪŋ/
noun
1.
excessively proud and self-satisfied talk about one's achievements, possessions, or abilities.

Scribbles I suppose you was referring to me when you say some enjoy sniping. Well I think some are sadly deluded if they cannot see this post isn’t boastful. But that is my opinion and I can see that when some have different opinions then you all star ganging up. Sad really but I suppose some enjoy it.

DoraMarr Wed 14-Aug-19 00:08:43

It’s a shame this post has upset some people, because downsizing is an important topic, and it’s good to hear of others’ experiences. It isn’t easy leaving a home you have lived and brought up your children in, with all the memories it holds. However, some people don’t have the choice, wether through divorce, bereavement or other circumstances, so it is good to read of positive experiences. Also, downsizing is better done sooner than later. I downsized four years ago at 66, and I’m glad I’m not doing it now at 70. Someone made a good point too: it feels good to declutter, especially if we have had the experience of clearing a deceased relative’s house and had to deal with forty or fifty years’ worth of possessions.

crazyH Wed 14-Aug-19 00:45:25

We are not in a communist or socialist state. Good luck to those who have 'downsized' to 'not so small houses'. Good luck to those who have the means to live in fairly large houses in their senior years. I downsized in 2008 and like some of you I have a 4 bedroomed house, which through sheer luck, I got at a knock down price. Nothing was wrong with the house.....just that the owners were desperate to move near their daughter's, probably to help with desperately needed child care etc.
Though it's 4bedroomed the garden is very, very small and easily maintained. In 2 or 3 years I would like to move to a 2bed bungalow.
Good luck to all who are planning to downsize.

Greta8 Wed 14-Aug-19 03:06:31

It's lovely to read everyone's success stories on downsizing. No-one ever knows all the back-story of others' lives and in many cases sacrifices have been made to purchase property when younger. So I personally think judgemental comments made have no place on this thread. We each make our choices and plan our lives the best way we can. If we pull off this great achievement in our approaching twilight years, then fantastic and I'm all for celebrating it. We helped our daughter and son-in-law with a deposit for their house several years ago. They both work hard and part of the reason for our move is so that I can look after our grandson a couple of days a week to save on nursery fees. Regarding the money we gained from downshifting, we have decided to gift it to our daughter and son-in-law so they will be able to get a larger house for their growing family - so it is still invested in family property. It makes financial sense to do this I think. I make no apology for the fact that I'm thrilled with my four bed non-estate house - which has a small garden and is on a main road near to services in a thriving small village. It was picked with care for the next stage of our lives and with a view to staying independent as long as possible. Good luck to everyone that is planning to do the same.

Nannytopsy Wed 14-Aug-19 05:13:54

We are about to move from a very overlooked family house on the outskirts of a city to a rural, slightly smaller house. It is closer to our children so that we can help with childcare. We were the generation who had a letter from the building society every month increasing interest rates. Ours topped at 17.5% and it has taken us 40 years to reach a position of real financial security. So no guilt here, except for the crystal glasses, books and photos! grin

Bellasnana Wed 14-Aug-19 05:57:20

Scribbles, you put into words what I was thinking.

There is so much jealousy and mean-spirited comments on GN. Some people just can’t be happy for anyone.

grannyqueenie Wed 14-Aug-19 09:43:09

Well said Scribbles Bellasnana and others who’ve commented on a similar vein. There will always be those who through hard work or just the luck of the draw have more than others do. It’s nothing to boast about and actually most folk don’t, they just feel blessed to be in the position they’re in.

Some of my friends have substantially more materially than I do and some have much less, it’s just how it is. I don’t think there’s any begrudging or mean spirited attitudes between us either way. But maybe I’m just fortunate in who I have in my friendship circle?

TwiceAsNice Wed 14-Aug-19 10:30:20

I downsized from a 3 bed semi which I was renting after a divorce. Marital home 4 bed detached . I left the 4 bed with almost nothing as husband was violent and when I eventually was able to get back into the house I had just a few hours with daughters to salvage what I could . I left loads of stuff we wanted behind as just run out of time .

I refurnished rental house from scratch which cost me thousands . Fast forward 3 years and now live in a 1 bedroom flat very near daughters and grandchildren but because it’s a much more expensive area I couldn’t afford to buy a 2 bed flat and no money left over. It cost more than a 4 bed house would have in Wales.

So very happy, not much money, downsized loads and gave lots of stuff away so everything would fit and it was definitely a “ needs must” move but still see it as positive, just wish I’d been able to put a little money away for the future.