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where to move to?

(41 Posts)
tookmyloveanditookitdown Thu 13-Aug-20 11:16:38

Friend recommended Gransnet:

25 years ago I moved to an urban area in the North East with my (now ex husband's) job. I went from a lovely rural area Cumbria - where I had lived all my life, had lots of friends and was very happy. I didn't want to go but had to, it was his job. Over the years here I have made good friends and got a rewarding career. I do not however like living in a busy place, I have never been truly settled here. On the estate where we moved to 25 yrs ago and still live I feel like a duck out of water -nothing wrong with anyone, just I dont have much in common with anyone. I stayed here after my divorce because the children had friends and were at school/ nearby universities and were settled. I am now at the point where the children are ready to move out. Covid has brought great new opportunities for me in my work - I can work from home permanently. So, mortgage paid off and some savings I can live where I want.

Does any one have any suggestions please? I am looking for ideas of places to look around for a potential move. Northumberland, North Yorkshire, Durham, Cumbria. I would like a village or small town, somewhere there is a sense of community. I drive and am fit and well. I like walking, nature, history - National Trust for eg, forests, lakes, beaches, reading, writing, art, music - classical and folk, theatre and ballet. I go to church and like the sense of community I get from it.

My children will be staying around where we live now - am not sure whether I should look at the rural parts of Northumberland to still be relatively near to them or go back to Cumbria. The advantage of Cumbria is the types of property I am interested in - bungalows or barn conversions are cheaper. I know if I went to Cumbria my children would visit when they could and my friends and I would still meet it just would not be as frequent. Property budget for a 2 or 3 bed £350,000

Anyone else moved to a new place as a single person in their 50s? What was your experience?

Many, many thanks

Whiff Thu 13-Aug-20 11:41:51

I was 61 when I moved a year ago from West Midlands to Liverpool. I was widowed 16 years ago. If you get yourself organised and I am a list person you can do it on your own . Read stresses of buying and selling we are on part 6 . We are a friendly bunch and there is a lot experience on their. And someone will be able to help you. Craftyone did a brilliant thing when she started the thread.

tookmyloveanditookitdown Thu 13-Aug-20 13:07:04


Thank you for the warm welcome and practical suggestions. Will have a look. Its motivating to hear that others have done it.

walnutwhip Fri 14-Aug-20 09:56:30

Yorkshire is wonderful though I suspect not cheap. I don't have experience of moving on my own in my 50s (only post divorce in my 30s and it was truly fantastic to be on my own) but good luck with your plans. What an exciting time. Best of luck

Worthingpatchworker Fri 14-Aug-20 10:03:56

How very wise of you. Don’t worry about your friends...true friends will remain and you will soon make new ones. Plus they can visit you so that will be great for both sides of the equation.
It sounds as though Cumbria is where you truly want to be. What a wonderful adventure you are embarking on.
Good luck.

Athenia Fri 14-Aug-20 10:04:47

I have moved back to the UK from France, after spending nine years there. I was living in a rural area, five km from the nearest town, wholly dependent on my car. Here in Surrey, in a very nice retirement flat just off the High Street, I am very happy. Train and bus are minutes away, shops too, and a library. London is a train ride away. Did you know that some retirement developments are up to half in cost of flats where there is no age limit? I listen with great satisfaction to the gardeners mowing our lawns, work that I no longer need to do, and all maintenance of the building is paid for by my service charge, including exterior window cleaning. To my surprise, no- one bothers me, all is peace and calm, and I half expect someone to knock on my door to tell me that I am enjoying myself too much! Best wishes as you look for your next home. I have absolutely no regrets and am living very contentedly in my new home.

Rachand Fri 14-Aug-20 10:15:15

We moved out of London to a well known costal town when we retired - we thought we loved the place - after 3 days I knew it was a mistake! We stayed for 18 months in total and moved to the Midlands, much happier! So my suggestion based on past experience rent a property for say 6 months to get a sense of the area, it will save the hassle of selling if you don’t like the place.

annecordelia Fri 14-Aug-20 10:20:31

Sounds like a wonderful opportunity wherever you end up. Go for it.

missdeke Fri 14-Aug-20 10:38:19

No advice but just wanted to say I love your name. 'Landslide' Stevie Nicks, wonderful song.

Corydal1s Fri 14-Aug-20 10:46:49

Have you thought about Rothbury or Wooler. There are several retirement villages around there with activities etc

Bella51 Fri 14-Aug-20 10:54:00

North Yorkshire is lovely. Great for walking, cycling and outdoor persuits. Not too far from costal resorts. Spent 20 years there and loved it.

Gwenisgreat1 Fri 14-Aug-20 10:56:18

Well, Harrogate has it all!! We lived in Glasgow (which I loved), then Aberdeen, a lovely small city, but too far from family. But here in Harrogate a similar distance from DS in Dumfriesshire and DS in Surrey. We tried to leave our DDs in Aberdeen, but they joined us in Harrogate, we are a happy family unit here. It has something for every taste.

Lizbethann55 Fri 14-Aug-20 11:00:52

Milnthorpe , on the Lancashire Cumbria border. It is lovely. I really wish we had moved there years ago. Sadly, we missed the boat. Couldn't really afford to move plus my elderly DM and MiL were very very nearby and we knew our DDs would want to get married from this house where they had lived all their lives and have the ceremony at the church where we have always worshipped. The priest had known them since they were little. Two weddings and the deaths of both mums later, one DD moved round the corner from us with her hubby and children, to be nearer to us! So we are now stuck here. Enjoy your opportunity for change. Good luck

Twopence Fri 14-Aug-20 11:07:57

There are some lovely rural places round Northumberland or back to Cumbria where you originated, but it is worth considering that as you get older you may become dependent on public transport and other services. Good luck whatever you decide to do.

fluttERBY123 Fri 14-Aug-20 11:14:23

You are in your 50s. Still young! However...I would suggest moving to somewhere the children could get over to you and back home comfortably within a day. Time moves on more and more quickly the older you get. If you develop any health problems you might find yourself having to up sticks to get back near them within a fairly short time. More upheaval when you least want it.

I have a friend whose husband died early, she in her 50s and in good health. She moved into a flat in a complex where she would be able to graduate to full time care without having to move! An extreme example but it suited her.

The place you left 23 year ago is likely to have changed.

I've been a bit of a wet blanket here, but most people are much more encouraging. Whatever you do, go on your gut feeling and enjoy the adventure.

Patsyb71 Fri 14-Aug-20 11:14:30

Some wonderful places mentioned here, i moved from Doncaster where I'd lived for 40 years to Sheriff Hutton, a village in north yorkshire about 10 miles from York, it's got a wonderful community spirit, about 4 miles from Castle Howard and handy for trips to the dales, moors and coast, I was there for 10 yrs but have recently moved to a retirement village in Pickering which is not too far away from the village so can still see friends there. I moved to be nearer my daughters. Good luck with your move when it happens.

Missee Fri 14-Aug-20 11:25:16

Spend 6 months renting in Cumbria, a place you loved and near to children. Good luck with whatever you decide 😊

MiniMoon Fri 14-Aug-20 11:27:59

Come to the border between Northumberland and Cumbria. There are lots of lovely little towns and villages. The countryside is beautiful, and you can walk to your hearts content, as there are loads of woods, countryside walks, and the Ronan Wall path.
Where I live in South West Northumberland there are good public transport links to Newcastle and Carlisle, and from there, anywhere you want to go.

nipsmum Fri 14-Aug-20 11:28:45

I moved from rural Perthshire to Aberdeen when I retired. I was divorced, my daughters both married, and I was at least 50 miles away from all my remaining family members. I had been seriously I'll and the family felt it would be wise to move nearer at least one of them. Following discussion with my daughters and sons in law we decided I should move to Aberdeen. Its the best thing I ever did, I've been here 15 years now and am happy and settled well. My family live 3 miles away and as I write this I have 2 of my granddaughters here waiting for lunch. As I say its the best thing I ever did.

marpau Fri 14-Aug-20 11:31:27

We moved from Northumberland to the Scottish borders when excessive building in our town made it too busy. We now live in a very small town with a great community. Property prices lower great views beaches lots of good walking and never more than a few miles from a castle or abbey. Also Scottish parliament provides lots of benefits e.g. free prescription bus pass at 60 cheaper membership to NT and heritage scotland. Midway between Edinburgh and Newcastle if we need retail or culture fix

Riggie Fri 14-Aug-20 11:36:09

Rural or coastal Northumberland is lovely as is Cumbria!!

Maybe keep an open mind and look at properties in both areas.

I'd also consider getting older in the new area. While no one can predict whether services that are there now, still will be in 20 years but shops, public transport, ease of getting to a hospital etc.

grandtanteJE65 Fri 14-Aug-20 11:37:11

Just remember that the day may come when you no longer are able to drive and choose somewhere were there is a good bus service and some local shops.

Flygirl Fri 14-Aug-20 11:44:35

My cousin lives in a rural cottage near Alnwick in Northumberland and it is stunning. She is a keen labdscape/nature photographer and goes on such wonderful walks with friends. I would imagine property prices are good there.

Stansgran Fri 14-Aug-20 11:46:04

Id love Hexham or Alnmouth. We live in Durham but it’s hilly and like a building site but there are retirement flats . I gather they are difficult to sell on.

Bluedaisy Fri 14-Aug-20 11:48:17

We lived in Brighton for most of our lives but longed for the country and a village life so 22 months ago we Downsized and moved to Devon With the promise from all our friends and family that they would fly down (to Newquay) and visit us frequently! 3 months after moving here and not knowing a soul Newquay flights stopped flying from Gatwick airport so that meant a 5 hour sometimes 6/7 if roads were busy drive to see us, our son drives for a living and hates the journey and I don’t blame him. None of our friends have come down here to visit and non have plans too and quite frankly I don’t blame them, the journey is never ending. Consequently we hardly see our grandson whom we used to babysit every weekend. I haven’t seen my best friend for almost 2 years. We have not made any friends here, people of our age are quite cliquey and have by our time of life made their own friends. There are no craft clubs catering to the craft I do and I don’t want to set my own up. There is only one main hospital for all of Devon and some of Cornwall which is a pain to get to from where we live. You cannot visit any attractions between May and October due to being jammed packed with holiday makers. It constantly rains in Devon due to us being hit first from the Atlantic weather.......I could go on but I won’t. The moral here Being Please think carefully about leaving all your family and friends behind as it’s not always as easy to make new friends later in life. Your children probably work like mine so are you prepared to only see them once or twice a year? Will you be near decent shops, bus stops, decent Doctors, accessible hospitals if you get ill? One last thing could you afford to move back if it didn’t work out? We’ve now just put out place back on the market but have to carefully downsize just to get back to Sussex, we couldn’t afford to move back to Brighton even if we wanted too? Good Luck