Gransnet forums

House and home

Help calm me. House buying and selling stress

(195 Posts)
Spice101 Fri 24-Sep-21 13:39:33

Link to first 8 threads

tinyurl.com/4883ywjs

Thread #9

Spice101 Fri 24-Sep-21 13:42:05

Welcome to thread # 9

Unfortunately the link has not shown as a click and go so I'll post the long form here.

www.gransnet.com/forums/house_and_home/1291248-Help-calm-me-House-buying-and-selling-stress?msgid=28940161

Pittcity Fri 24-Sep-21 13:57:49

Just saving this new thread. Still going through "New home" stress 6 months after moving. We have the outside sorted apart for one more coat of paint. We can now move inside with the next set of workmen not due until November.

midgey Fri 24-Sep-21 14:02:34

So pleased this thread is to continue, heavily invested in so many people on here.

loopyloo Fri 24-Sep-21 15:02:57

Yes me too. How is everyone? I am still sorting out after our last move in November. Boxes and boxes still to clear.
What fun.

Dottygran59 Fri 24-Sep-21 15:06:11

Oh Spice, thank you for keeping the thread going. I'm not moving - you lot have put me off for life lol - but love to hear of all your adventures

Josianne Fri 24-Sep-21 15:12:19

Well done Spice101 for continuing the threads full of interesting and emotional stories. Thank you.
Our from scratch garden project is nearing completion and we have had great fun choosing slabs, pebbles, fencing etc. Then we will get a second flurry of activity in the spring with the planting.
Good luck to everyone on here, I enjoy reading about the journeys.

Shandy57 Fri 24-Sep-21 15:24:44

Thank you Spice101!

I'm glad to be able to come on and say I've just had all 17 spotlights replaced with LED transformers, and the heat/smoke alarms replaced with something that won't 'pip' at me in the middle of the night smile

Glad things are still progressing for you Pittcity, the months fly don't they. I have given up trying to choose a colour for the lounge/kitchen and am going to wait for it to 'appear' in my mind's eye.

Lovely to think of you designing your garden Josianne, once the structure is in you can enjoy your plant finding. I have a penchant for roses. Is that what I mean, I know you know your francais! smile I just can't resist smelling them in everyone's garden at the moment, they are all so different.

Josianne Fri 24-Sep-21 15:28:42

Yes, Shandy, I have put in an order for some David Austin rambling roses to cover the new fence and trellis. Then a real nod to my life in France with beds of lavender.
(Fond memories of that house hunting morning we spent on the seafront. Another time, now covid is less if a worry, come to my place).

Whiff Fri 24-Sep-21 18:27:35

Spice glad you have continued the thread.

Gertrude Jekyll rose by David Austin is a beautiful pink and smells heavenly and long flowering. Thomas a Becket is red and has large flowers not scented but also long flowering . It's by David Austin. Will treat myself to another rose next year. As I brought Gertrude my first year here and Thomas this year.

Going with my daughter to Grayson Perry's art club exhibition in Manchester on Sunday. She got the tickets months ago time flies so fast since I moved.

Since moving my life has never been so busy. Took 2 years to the bungalow and garden as I want. Wednesday go to exercise class, Thursday my craft group has started again and Friday at my daughter's. Second Monday in the month U3A talk.

Selling my house and moving was very stressful but well worth it. I love it here. Never had such kind neighbours .

Hopefully the ones who are still in the process of moving do so soon.

Josianne Fri 24-Sep-21 18:35:51

This one is pretty and still blooming after a slow start. A David Austin one called Rachel.

Shandy57 Sun 26-Sep-21 09:19:29

Morning all, early for me!

Fed up because I pulled the lounge curtains and both of the big extension windows are steamed up inside, so the double glazing has blown. I'm never going to get to New Zealand at this rate!

Hope everyone trying to meet the stamp duty deadline gets there, fingers crossed for you. My friend has given up and come off the market again, she'd had enough of the estate agent sending unsuitable viewers.

Pittcity Sun 26-Sep-21 09:26:27

We had a few double glazing panels replaced when we moved in. Some had blown so badly that there was mould growing between the panes.
The new panes are so much more efficient as we have condensation on the outside today. I googled it and it's a good thing!

Shandy57 Sun 26-Sep-21 09:48:25

Glad you have condensation outside where it should be Pittcity! I'll start a window fund and save up for them to be done, the spotlight transformer replacement was £400 I didn't expect to spend.

At the station I used to have to run round each morning and used a whole roll of kitchen towel on the single glazed window condensation, it was so wet. No mould I can see so I can live with a bit of steam for a while smile Talking of mould the seller said she'd 'overwatered a plant' in the bedroom and had damaged the carpet - then my cat's bed went mouldy. Looks like the capped chimney is a problem too, but that can wait!

Franbern Mon 27-Sep-21 11:48:12

When I represented one of the groups at the U3A open day last Friday, I realised how many people I had got to know in my new home-town, despite lockdowns.

So very happy here. That move, despite all the dreadful stresses was one of the very best things I have ever done.

Spent some of yesterday trying to sort out the patio pots on my balcony, to get them ready for the putting in the spring bulbs. I have a nice mixture of faux and real plants there, often have to take a minute to think which is which.

Today, having been to Sainsbury's have an appointment this afternoon with my flooring people to make final decision on carpet I want put down in my own bedroom and the vinyl for the secnd bedroom.

Shandy57 Mon 27-Sep-21 12:47:46

I'm glad you are so happy Franbern, my move has been a success too. I wish we'd always lived in the village, I think my kids would have had a different childhood experience. I definitely don't miss the fear of poachers being in the fields behind the station, the lights used to wake me up, police never arrived in time to catch them at it.

You've reminded me I need to empty my pots, will do when it stops raining. Unfortunately I think I've lost the acer, thousands of aphids suddenly appeared on the rim of the big pot.

Enjoy choosing your carpets, I haven't chosen any for twenty years smile

Whiff Tue 28-Sep-21 06:05:26

After all the stress and worry of moving . I am very glad I did. I got my identity back. It was great meeting people who got to know me not all the labels we come with.

When we marry and have children we become linked to those roles. Don't get me wrong I would give anything to have my husband alive and well again . And be with the other half of me. I would be whole again . But can't.

Before I moved I would never do all the things I have done since moving. My house and gardens where to big.

I love my bungalow and my new life. One of the joys of moving is choosing how I wanted my bungalow to be . I hadn't decorated etc since before my husband died in 2004.

I have surprised myself with my choices . I went with an open mind to choose my kitchen etc. Was surprised at the vast choice of everything. I picked colours I never thought I would like but love everything choice I have made.

The only thing at my old house I had joined was an exercise class. Here I go to exercise class,craft group and U3A.

I have found I am a gardener and brought a greenhouse and grew some vegetables and strawberries. Painted my fence never painted one before took me 4 days but I did it .

My life is so full and time flies by. I have never slept so well and the health care here is excellent.

So all the stress and tears moving was well worth it.

Glad to see all the movers are happy in their new homes and are making them theirs .

Hope all those still in the process exchange and complete soon. 💐

marymary62 Wed 29-Sep-21 16:30:33

Hi - after some stressful bids on properties that we lost we had an offer accepted and are now totally stressing that we have bid over the top! We chose a bad time to move from North to further South as prices are so much higher and (competition keen ) but we feared that if we left it any longer we’d be priced out. Been dithering for a while about moving nearer family and I only got DH persuaded this year ......
Anyway apart from freaking out about the cost of our new house (which needs work to make it beautiful but is at least habitable !) what wonderful messages of support do you all have ?

Greta8 Wed 29-Sep-21 17:21:45

marymary62 - congratulations on getting an offer accepted on a house you like - no mean feat at the moment in this mad market. How lovely to be nearer your family - it will definitely be worth it I'm sure.

We achieved this about two years ago - not a massive geographical move, about sixty miles or so to be nearer our daughter. Like Franbern and Shandy I'm so happy in our new home - it was worth the uncertainty and hard work to achieve it. I'm late 60's and my husband is a bit younger and we're so glad we didn't leave it any longer - we sold a lovely period cottage with an extremely large garden in the country and bought a modern four bed detached house with a small garden in the centre of a village and about half an hour from a major city. We, however, are still in the country. I count my blessings every day - we spend so much time with our family now, and we look after our little grandson two days a week. We chose the house carefully and I'm relieved that it seems so much more under control than our old place - not to mention that it is so light!!!!

It's a stressful process at times - anyone who says different is being disingenuous, but being able to chat here will definitely help you get advice and also support from the friendly people on this thread.

Hope it all goes well for you!

BlueBalou Wed 29-Sep-21 18:56:28

We’re definitely planning to move and putting our house on the market. It’s taken 7 months to sell my parents house, I sincerely hope ours goes quicker.
Am dreading the process but needs must.

Shandy57 Wed 29-Sep-21 20:23:32

Congratulations MaryMary62, how marvellous you will be near your family, that is priceless. Whatever extra you have paid will be forgotten when they are all in your garden smile

My top advice would be to wait until the chain is complete before instructing a surveyor. I would also recommend paying for an electrical check.

I would definitely have a second viewing near to exchange to closely inspect everything, check the shower, flush the toilet, look at the boiler, ask what if any appliances the seller is leaving, etc. I melted the bottom of the kitchen cupboard here with the toaster - or was it the kettle? Looked like wood during my quick viewing!

I didn't have an electrical check or a second viewing, and wish I had. I didn't want to ask the seller to allow an electrician in as she was very Covid nervous during my viewing, and from what I saw, the electrics seemed acceptable. I've just spent a whopping £400 to have 17 spotlight fittings changed to accept LED bulbs, as well as a new heat detector/smoke alarm.

Good luck, enjoy your decluttering and blessing people with the things you can't take with you.

marymary62 Thu 30-Sep-21 01:45:03

Thanks for the kind words. As you see I can’t sleep! I’m sure I will calm down sooner or later but it has been a horrid process. Selling our own home was easy in this market but buying has been hard particularly as it was a 6 hour round trip to seen anything ! Houses are being sold by best and final offers which I feel are so dishonest as you have no idea what anyone else is
bidding ! One of my daughter’s friends is on her 9 th ‘best and final’ which we certainly couldn’t face !
Thanks for the advice about the electric as a s showers - we are getting a fulls structural survey so hopefully if anything is seriously wrong we can reduce the price . Shandy57 I love the bit about grandchildren playing in the garden and forgetting the cost - you are so right !

Spice101 Thu 30-Sep-21 02:06:39

marymary62 as shandy says the price you paid will be forgotten about. We sold our home and rented for a year because we could not find anything suitable. Eventually we found our new home a few days before Christmas last year. Yes, we possible paid too much and I did worry about that for a while because I knew there was more to spend to make it as we wanted. However, over the last 7 months since we moved in the house prices have soared in our area and the availability lessened. There is not one house come onto the market that would have suited our needs since we bought so the price we paid was more than worth it to get settled in our own place again.

The stresses will not go away when you move but they will be different. Good luck with your new purchase I do hope everything goes smoothly for you.

You are right about the way houses are sold. We put in offers on three places all at or above the highest advertised price. They all sold for between $35,000 and a whooping $170,000 above those prices. Our eventual purchase was bought for only $5000 above the top asking price.

The benefit we have here (Australia) is that we sign a binding contract which includes a settlement (completion) date on the offer being accepted. We also pay a deposit at that time and to pull out of the sale would mean losing the deposit.

marymary62 Thu 30-Sep-21 06:07:34

So it’s 6 am and no I didn’t sleep a wink. Is this normal house moving stress ? I fear I am turning in to one of those people who is just fearful of everything, unable to make decisions or immediately regretting the ones I have made !

Whiff Thu 30-Sep-21 07:16:45

My advice to anyone who has had an offer accepted or just put their house on the market. Get all the paperwork work you need to fill in from your solicitor straight away. As soon as I put my house on the market. My solicitor sent all the forms you have to fill in and hand delivered them back. She had them already for when I accepted an offer .

Started decluttering as soon as you decide to sell as it takes longer than you think also start packing things you want to take with you but don't need . People viewing your home aren't bothered if there are packed boxes in some rooms.

Only answer questions they ask don't volunteer any information. You need to develop a thick skin as people will say awful things about your home.

The main thing to remember is until exchange your sale or purchase is not a sure thing. Make sure you exchange a least a week before completion.

I had my first buyer pulled out day of exchange and second buyer pull out 4 days before exchange. Luckily each time the executors of the will of the bungalow I wanted stuck with me.

Beware just because you have a offer accepted the owners can carry on showing the property. Just because you are sold subject to contact doesn't mean they have to stop showing the property.

Once I sold subject to contract I didn't show my house but the executors of the bungalow did. And only stopped once exchange went through.

Make sure you have a good survey done on the property you are buying I had the middle one 2 years ago cost £450 I now live in the north west. My brother and sister in law have just had a survey done on a bungalow in the north east it cost £500. Don't forget different areas can charge more especially if you are moving south .

My survey was very good and knew exactly what needed doing. No red 3's few amber 2's and mostly green 1's.

Even though they had accepted my offer on the bungalow while they where still showing it they reduced the price by £10k but I stuck to my offer.

Whatever you do don't use Pickford's for your removals. My troubles with them is on another part of this thread .

If the property you are buying has been empty for a while get a pest control company in to check for vermin. When I moved here they cleaned the bungalow but didn't tell me about the mice in the kitchen and loft.

Keep on to your solicitor and estate agents involved for updates every few days. You need to make a pest of yourself.

I accepted a £3k lower price on my house as it was supposed to be a quick sale. Their solicitor was a nightmare should have moved in the May didn't get here until August.

All the stress ,worry and sleepless nights are worth it in the end once you move into your new home.

It has taken me 2 years to get the bungalow how I want it and love everything I have had done.

Don't forget the first year especially in your new home you will constantly be paying out having things done. Be prepared to have to have things done you didn't think you needed doing.

Eg when the fitted wardrobes where taken out of my bedroom the whole bedroom needed plastering including the ceiling because they had papered it .

I had new carpets fitted throughout once wardrobe where taken out as it was cheaper to have bedrooms and living room done in one. Used no nonsense carpet protected on my carpets when work was done. It was from Screwfix not cheap but not one bit of plaster or paint got on the carpets.

Make sure you read all the paperwork sent to you carefully. And be aware that people can take light fittings , curtain poles and even light bulbs with them. So even if they say they are leaving those things until you have the forms saying what they are leaving them it's not a sure thing .

If you are moving out of the area and will need a new GP practice. Get your GP to give you a print out of the last 5 years of your medical records and anyone else in your household. Because when you join your new practice it can take a week to get the records from your old GP. I know my new practice was pleased I had done that.

Make lists and more lists of things to do and who you need to contact about your move.

Number all your packed boxes write on it what's in it and which room it's for.

Once exchange has gone through you are liable for the building insurance on your new home even though it is still covered by the vendors insurance. So get it sorted to go on the day of exchange.

All the stress is worth it but I will never move again. I love it here. My only concern was would I like the neighbours but they are lovely the whole road is .

Don't miss my old house or county at all. After my husband died and the children left home and everyone who was dependant on me died it became a mill stone round my neck. It was to big . I rattled round it. The gardens where to much and always had a gardener.

Here my gardens are just the right size . Found I am a gardener. There is a list on the last part of this thread of all the things I have had done if you want to read it.

I wish all movers well and hopefully things will go smoothly .