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Legal & money

legal financial agreement?

(7 Posts)
dancingfeet Wed 04-Jan-12 18:56:18

Does anyone know if it is possible to make a legal financial arrangement, perhaps witnessed by a notary, without going through a legal separation first. As some of you know I have experienced marital problems in the last year, but because of my advanced age there is no advantage in a divorce. In fact it would be disadvantageous for me as I would lose all rights to my share of his pension if he died. This would leave me just about penniless. He does not want to contest any part of the agreement we have drawn up, but when we consulted solicitors they tried to encourage us to go for a legal separation and (for him) to fight it out. This is not what either of us want, but for my own peace of mind I do want to know where I stand financially.

em Wed 04-Jan-12 19:02:38

Nice to see you again Dancingfeet and clearly you are getting closer to moving on emotionally. Surely it would be the same as any other legally-agreed contract? Also, you have to work out whether you are employing solicitors to give advice or whether it's to carry out your instructions. (Just an opinion as I'm sure the rules must be different north and south of the border!)

Anne58 Wed 04-Jan-12 19:22:55

What about asking your local Citizens Advice Bureau? Free and impartial.

Greatnan Thu 05-Jan-12 09:31:46

Solicitors make money when couples disagree, but I would be very wary of any DIY contract. Bitter exes can make your life a misery. You could have a legal separation but still live in the same house, as long as you are not sharing a bed or having marital relations.
Are you sure you would not be entitled to part of his pension - I thought that the law had changed that situation, although it came in too late for me.
Very good luck, I hope things work out for you.

dancingfeet Thu 05-Jan-12 19:48:12

I have taken advice about a legal separation and was going along with that until I discovered that four months after the decree nisi was granted for the separation, then my ex, could in fact divorce me. I would be entitled to part of his pension while he was still alive, but if he died, as a divorced spouse I would be entitled to nothing. If we were a lot younger then this would not be important, but as he is cracking on a bit and suffering a great deal of stress as a result of his actions then a sudden heart attack would not be unreasonable to imagine. I have been trying to get an appointment with the local CAB(even called into the office) and its impossible. Things are very bad up north! I thought it would be so simple to draw up an agreement and get it legalised by a solicitor without a lot of unnecessary expense, but those we contacted(individually) want us to go for separation or divorce and fight it out.

Anne58 Thu 05-Jan-12 20:20:01

Not just up North, Dancingfeet, I live in Devon and needed debt advice and due to lack of funds etc etc, the wait to see a specialist CAB advisor was over 6 weeks from my first general appointment.

I think that many people are unaware of the fact that the CAB receives no government funding, and relies entirely on volunteers and charitable donations.

Annobel Thu 05-Jan-12 20:23:31

dancingfeet, I am so sorry to hear that the CAB is letting you down. In many areas the local councils have passed on Government cuts to voluntary organisations. So much for the 'big society'! The Bureau I work for is an exception because its grant is safe for a couple of years. Of course, over the Christmas period, lots of Bureaux have been closed and now that they are open again, they will be overwhelmed with debt cases, and, this being a peak time, also with relationship problems. I hope you keep trying. Have you looked at our web site?