To retire or not to retire?

Quite. But the form is tricky if you don't know it. Particularly the aa one. It is best to get expert help. CAB or someone like that. A lot of failures to award are due to poorly completed forms.

Tanith, please tell your friend that Disability Living Allowance (under 65) and Attendance Allowance (over 65) are non-means-tested and not taxable.

Thanks jeni I knew I wasn't missing anything, she actually won't claim anything she is one of those that drops through the net because she refuses to be means tested and believe me I've tried everything I can because I know she would qualify but she won't disclose her finances even though there really is nothing to disclose.. she won't discuss it so to avoid falling out with her I have to avoid the subject I learnt my lesson with her a long time ago.

No it wouldn't. Anyway you have to be under 60, and she has to have middle rate dla or lowest rate aa65+

I doubt that ninnynanny , I only spend about a day and a half with her per month although we text daily and I check up on her on the phone regularly . I don't think that would qualify..

Hi Tanith could you claim Carer's Allowance for your friend it's not means tested?

My DH was made reduntant 3 years and as a result was "forced " into early retirement, but we had to live off his private pension (which hardly covered our day to day living) , he will not get a state pension till May.
We have had to be very careful with our spending , but as he was never in a very high paid job we have always had to watch the "pennies" so it didn't come hard to us living this sort of life.
We enjoy the fact that our days are now for us to do as we want, no more clock watching !
When DH was first made reduntant he had to "sign on " and he hated it after all he had worked non stop from the age of 15 so it was hard for him to do that . He felt he was begging for the huge sum of £60 per week we had to live on ! That money was only paid for a short while and as he had paid all his national insurancrance contributions he no longer need to sign on, and that cheered him up no end

I'm still reading and taking in all your thoughts , lots of different views is perfect as its making me see things from all angles.

Gracesmum he really would love to retire but for him its a balancing act for the next 3yrs of having to rely on me really to pay the lions share of the costs till his State Pension kicks in as the very small pension he would have would be his sole income for that time and it wouldn't be enough we would be using what was left of savings after paying off the mortgage to supplement our income leaving probably nothing by the time he is 65. I am going to sit down and work out our finances in detail (not very good with spreadsheets unfortunately) because I'm sure if I tried I could persuade him it would be ok.

I too had a crisis of confidence when I learnt I was going to have to take ill-health retirement and wondered how on earth I would manage on so little but it was fine and I think that is where he is , not seeing beyond no salary coming in each month , it frightened me to death (almost).

Keep your thoughts coming and thankyou everyone.

My husband often says he lives the life of a millionaire without the money! We both retired quite early, and have made a lot of hard financial compromises (and others), but what we have gained in the enjoyment of daily life more than makes up for it. It hasn't always been easy, and at times I have found the transition quite difficult, yet overall we feel fitter and happier, are able to engage in our interests fully.

tanith - I hope you're able to find a way forward that suits you both. All the best.

I'll add my twopennorth to the debate. My husband retired at 63 having gone through 17 local government reorganisations and he had had enough so took the package offered and I went with him at 57. Before he went I did some spreadsheets to work out our budget and by going down to one car, not spending a fortune on petrol and car maintenance by commuting long distances and not buying suits, lunches etc required for work as well as any socialising connected to it we actually found we were better off (we paid off the mortgage with an endowment). I did find the loss of purpose and status a problem in the first two years but now couldn't be happier. We have hobbies that we couldn't have had a work, moved to a much nicer place where the housing costs less than outer London so have some money in the bank. Sometimes I am little bored but only when its cold and wet but then I indulge my writing habit for which i have very little talent but I enjoy it and it doesn't matter if it never gets published although it would be nice and its a sort of half-goal. My advice would be take the leap and enjoy life.

NanaAnna has a valid point for all those who through no fault of their own don't have a pension to fall back on and are trapped in having to work. The idyll of golf/lunches/ SAGA holidays/etc is a popular misconception of what retirement means to many many people. Yes, we do have the luxury of turning over in bed (bliss) but most of us also have to turn the pennies over to see if we can afford some things which we previously took for granted. I am not saying that quality of life is less important than financial comfort, but many people do not have that luxury. At a time when it would be nice to indulge grandchildren and "help out "children many of us are unable to. Poverty in old age is not confined to the few and living on a fixed income when costs, especially fuel and food, are always going up, can be a problem. Leisure activities also cost money - while walking the dog is free, if you or DH really enjoy golf/theatre/concerts - these don't necessarily come cheap.
I am not whingeing, just trying to put both sides. There is a reason for retirement - for most of us it comes at a time when we are no longer willing or able to put our career before our health or our families and we are ready to step down. However for others it may be very hard to do.For some, their career has identified their identities for so long, they can be quite "lost".
I am not sorry I retired - I wanted to, but if tanith's DH doesn't WANT to, the economies he may have to face might be harder to take.Everything in life is a compromise isn't it?

tanith You would not have to think of the one remaining car as 'his'. You would have equal say as to who used it and when. When I was married I felt I had to ask permission to use the car, which was wrong.
My main reason for divorcing was the dreadful thought of both being home all day together when we retired! (We led separate lives whilst working). If you look forward to spending more time together then I say 'go for it' I have never met anyone who regretted giving up work. You will not need a lot of money. You may even find that golf and bowls club have reduced membership fees for pensioners.
Enjoy the while you are fit enough to make the most of it.

Hi tanith, I wonder if your husband could work part-time. My husband 'retired' at 59 when it was rumoured that his pension scheme was going to change (for the worse!) but he continues to work for approximately 3 days a week, and does some volunteering, on the basis of keeping his brain working. As well as giving the week some structure, he earns extra money and feels fulfilled.

Well all I can say is that I don't think I'll ever be able to retire!
I didn't get a penny of my ex's pension entitlement when we divorced, and I don't think what I'll get in State pension will be worth much (as I was a full-time mum for 18 years, and prior to that, working in the public sector, I took accrued pension money when I left to have my first baby)
I'm downsizing for the zillionth time in order to get rid of my mortgage which I haven't been able to pay for several months, and as I'm moving 20 miles to one of the cheapest parts of the south coast, I won't be able to downsize further without moving much much further away from all my daughters.
Despite constantly applying for better jobs (several a week over the past 18 months) all I have is a part-time job paying peanuts. At 60, I'm looking into setting up my own small business again to try to earn enough to live slightly above the breadline rather than below it!
Retirement isn't something I can even entertain the idea of!

Tanith DH and I have no regrets in him taking early retirement when he was 55,he took half his private pension then plus a lump sum from his employers,he was so much better off financially not having to fill up the car,lunches and other work related costs.I retired at 50 but continued to pay private pension until I was 60 so had a decent amount on top of my state pension.We are lucky that we have no mortgage now as we sold our family home the year I retired and moved abroad,but our rent is affordable and we live very comfortably and run our car don't go without what we need and have no problems with bills etc.If your DH added up what it costs him to go to work he would be surprised I think,my DH says it was the best decision he has ever made.Good Luck with your decision

[gm] you're joking
Cocktail dresses and sailing NO
Grotty denims and shorts and waterproofs! Very unglam!
That's why I love dressy cruising!
We did have emergencies with dh but I coped!
He would have rather died sailing than in bed. Stressful for me but I coped and am glad I did as it gave so much more pleasure to his last years.
He Watson our boat a week before he died!

There's more than one way to skin a cat tanith (please - nobody put that phrase in the other thread of irritating forum phrases!!). I'm sure you'll find a way round it. There are too many pluses to being retired and very few depend on you having money.

I retired 5 years ago at 60. I took my watch off after my last day at work and haven't worn it since. Bliss.

Carol I take my friend with me to do the shop I take her to a large Tesco or Sainsbury where she can browse from a wheelchair and buy replacement household goods/books and clothes too should she need them.. I always stay overnight and the next day we will go to a garden centre or park for some time outside the house. OH plays for a local 'team' with his bowls so wouldn't be able to change 'clubs', but I'm sure with some juggling we could manage the fees.

I hope you made sure you had room for a couple of cocktail dresses at least!
I suspect I have taken the easy way out, but the many occasions when he has zoomed off with a flashing blue light have made me too cautious to go out of the country! We travelled abroad up to 2007 but his perforated bowel and llymphoma, then aortic aneurysm plus the flare ups of cholangitis just made life too complicated.

tanith could your large shop be reduced to something a lot smaller by doing an online shop and having it delivered to the door? Any shopping outings could be more manageable that way, and visits to your friend could be more pleasurable

If your DH budgets, or picks where he can play golf and bowls at concessionary rates perhaps he could continue?

[gracesmum]we did not let I'll health stop us. We sailed to the isles of scilly with my husband on capd. Picked up extra capd bags at st Mary's and sailed back.couldnt take many clothes because of storage space for the bags but managed! (imagine me with limited clothes?!!!)

Am enjoying reading all your views thank you food for thought indeed. I agree with all of you about enjoying my retirement I couldn't be happier , I mentioned this thread to OH earlier and his retort was I won't be able to afford my golf, bowls etc if I retire now. I see I'll have my work cut out..lol

I do travel on buses or bike locally but my housebound friend lives 70 miles away and relies on me to do a large shop + sleepover once a month not something I could do on the bus or train.

Granny23 I'll have to take a look at claiming for a dependent I have never heard of that..

I do agree its heaven to listen to all the neighbours scraping on a frosty morning, and turn over and snuggle down.

I have not heard a single person say your DH should stick it out at the "workface" - I wonder why? I retired at 62, actually didn't feel ready at 60 but 2 years on I realised that I could not juggle my very demanding job, DH's deteriorating health which involved at best hospital visits in London and at not so good several periods of hospitalization, added to that a feeling of disillusion with Education and all the "initiatives", plus our DD was having her first baby. Enough was enough and I would say live your lives, do what you enjoy doing and do not put things off. 1 car? 2 cars? unless you are still paying one off, does it matter? You will probably manage fine with 1 but it may be that for the sake of your independence you choose to keep both (I often find myself lending mine to youngest DD)
Paying off your mortgage if you can, gives you security and you can manage on less - going out to work can be so expensive. Sadly although we now potentially have the freedom to go away, DH's hospital visits plus our reduced income, mean we don't actually do itas much as I would like, but we enjoy our garden, days out and just "living". A colleague suggested that retirement meant "working at living instead of living at work."
Crux is - does he want to?

Carol my own feelings exactly!

Tanith I think at our stage, we do have to acknowledge that we don't know what's round the corner. If you can manage financially, then retirement is a gift; that is what we have found anyway.

Hope you find our comments and thoughts helpful, anyway!