Fees for temporary care.

When I cared for my late mother and requested respite care from Social Services, it was something of a pantomime to organise but I was never asked to pay for it. I needed help as I had other family commitments and wanted to go abroad for several weeks on couple of occasions. No one suggested that this wasn't necessary so it seems especially hard that you're having to pay when you need hospital treatment yourself. I think that budgets for this kind of thing have been reduced over time and I wouldn't be surprised to find that arrangement differ from on authority to another. If you didn't have the relevant amount of money (say, it had been 77 days), would they just leave your father to fend for himself? I think it might be worth querying this in as fairly trenchant manner. Good luck.

Hi absentgrana

I think I would find it more acceptable if I had to pay because I wanted to go on holiday or if say I wanted my father to go into higher price care.
I really think it is a real deterrant for a son or daughter to care for their parent if they risk being liable for unlimited costs.
I would find say £7,000 if I had to but what would happen if say I had to go into hospital for say 300 days.
Having to pay for that amount of days would cause me financial problems.

Sarah

I don't get this.

It's not you who is asking for the care, it's your father. So shouldn't it go on how much money he has? Why should they make you pay for someone else's care?

One thing I did find annoying is the Social Worker did mention that the address he is living at is expensive for the area and she did emphasise I am having private medical treatment and my father has been in a private hospital on a few ocasions.
My view is if I want to spend some of my money on my father for holidays and for private medical treatment that is my option and as as we live together I try to make his standard of living as close as possible to mine.
I really think that Social Services should not make me spend money on him.

Sarah

Hi Sarah

You say your father does not have much money.
Did your father have savings in the past?.
What I am thinking is the Social Worker may think he has ran his savings down paying for things like holidays and private medical insurance and you have stepped in when they have ran out.
If this is the case I do not think there is anything wrong with what you are doing but you are in effect saying to Dad use your own money first and I will spend on you when your money runs out which the Social Worker might not agree with.

Another thought.

Have you told Social Services what you are having done in the hospital?.

They may be thinking the treatment is just cosmetic as you are going into a private hospital.

Martin

I don't think it's Social Services' business whether your hospital treatment is NHs or private and it is certainly not their business what treatment you will be receiving or what process you will be undergoing. Also I don't think it is Social Services' business what your father spent his money on or you spent your money on in the past. The more I think about all this, Moonglow52, the more I consider the way you are being treated is thoroughly shabby. on your behalf.

Moonglow who would foot the bill for care if you where taken into any hospital as an emergency ?? The care being given is for your father not for you,there are a lot of GNers who are more qualified than me to give you advice and I am sure they will.I would certainly question the charges you have been quoted and stand by the fact that you are not the recipriant of the care.

I don't think legally you can be made to pay for your father's care. I take it your money is separate from his. They can only take money from his assets. Not yours.

It is your father's income and savings that are relevant here - that is the basis for the calculation and your choices about medical treatment are irrelevant, as they are based on your income and savings.

But.....different local authorities have different rules, so it may be that this LA is going to treat you as a "couple." Even then, your choices as to where and when you choose to have your treatment do not come into it. It is based on an assessment of your father's needs and his assets (or both your assets if they treat you as a couple). The SW is entirely in error to say that you have to pay for his care as you are having private treatment.

I really would challenge this decision - if needs be get the CAB on your side.

I think you might have just fetched up with a really mean minded social worker!

Definitely try CAB, or your MP.

j04 may have hit the nail on the head there I found this kind of attitude when my DCs went to senior school when the teachers found out they had gone to prep school since they where 3 yrs old.

I must say Sarah if you have an expensive house and you have private medical treatment then it is only fair you should pay for your father's care.

I think you have an axe to grind, Bootle. It's not Sarah's responsibility.

*Anagram" I agree - the fact that someone has private medical care does not always mean they are wealthy. I had BUPA cover which stopped when I was made redundant - was part of the remuneration package.

I object as a taxpayer to paying toward the care of a parent when the children have a lot of money.
Sarah did say she has an expensive house and no doubt has some savings and the father lives with her in the same house.
Sarah's father is not the father of the tax payer. I would not object if say they lived in a 2 up 2 down terrace house and only have about £10,000 in savings and uo to £12,000 total pension but anything above that should be available for the father's care.,

Presumably Sarah and her father have also paid taxes in their time.

bootle oh how wrong you are with regard to summising that having an expensive house equates to having a vast amount of savings,my family home was very expensive to purchase it when we sold it in early 2000 when property was at a premium,but all the years prior to that we lived month to month and only realised our wealth once our children had left school and we sold the large family home.If Sarahs father has also paid for his senior years by way of his taxes he is more than entitled for his fees to be met by the taxpayer its nothing to do with his daughters earnings or savings.

And please reflect on what Sarah is saving taxpayers by being her father's unpaid carer. There are thousands of those in our 'sandwich' generation, underrated and sacrificing their time and frequently their health.

As if to reinforce my last point, up pops a reort on the way carers are being taken for granted:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-18456546

And I am not psychic as far as I know.

Annobel

I can only agree with what you are saying.
Even Social Workers take carers for granted.
I got early retirement at 57 and had inherited my father's half of my parents bungalow.
I sold my house as it was 85 miles away and went to live with Mum and became her carer a few months later, cared for her for nearly 15 years, then she got advanced dementia and was beyond the stage of home care.
The bungalow was valued at about £350,000.
The Social worker first tried to say as I had inherited half of the bungalow from my father I would have to return the inheritance and the bungalow sold leaving me homeless.
It then changed to the bungalow having to be sold and the proceeds divided.
I quickly found that as the bungalow was jointly owned I could not be forced to sell, on top of this I was over 60 and could not be turned out even if I had no title to the property, and also I think I had been my mother's carer for a substantial time but the Social Worker did not agree that nearly 15 years was substantial.
After threatening them with a solicitor NHS funding was agreed.
Sadly Mum passed away 3 months later.
What did worry me as well when I visited Mum in the home I was older than some of the residents and as that was 6 years ago I am sure I will be older than probably half the residents as of now.

I think carers are supposed to make sure they have an assessment of their needs, as well as the needs of the person being cared for.

They should insist on this. It is their entitlement.

Woodley that was one daft social worker you were involved with! Social Services do end up in some sticky situations when their staff come out with silly pronouncements that have no foundation. That must have been very worrying for you, though, putting up with nonsense interference after you had gone to live with your mum.

I do not believe that what Social Services is doing is legal. Like many Social Services that are now strapped for cash they are doing everything they can, to pass charges onto clients, even if that means telling clients they must pay for services that should be supplied without cost.

Moonglow 52 I suggest that you speak to Age Concern or the Citizen's Advise Bureau to check whether, if your father needs care because his (unpaid) carer is unavailable, he should be expected to pay. They certainly should not be expecting you to pay, regardless of why you are unavailable.