Gransnet forums

Legal, pensions and money

DH dragging his feet re a new will.

(58 Posts)
Mamardoit Sun 18-Oct-20 08:43:21

I've been trying to convince DH that we both need new wills He keeps putting it off. Our existing wills were written 20 years ago when our youngest DC were still small children. The older two were still teenagers. Obviously our main worry then was naming guardians for the younger DC.

In the will solicitors were named as executors. Now we would rather our adult DC take on that role. He thinks we just need to write a note naming new executors and get a couple of the neighbours to witness us signing it. This is not good enough is it?

Can our children just take on the role if we die before new wills are made? I'm fairly certain the firm of solicitors we used no longer exists so I have no idea who has our wills. We do have copies.

Also how may executors do people usually have? I'm going to have to discus this with all of them and hope none of them take offence if they are not chosen. Not something I want to do but I'm not going to just stick my head in the sand like their dad.

B9exchange Sun 18-Oct-20 09:00:07

The advice we were given was always to have children and a solicitor as executors, so much easier for the legal bits, and to sort out any wrangling discussion between siblings.

I imagine if you google the name of the solicitors on your will, or look them up at companies house, you will find out if they are still active, or who took over? Good luck with using all your wiles on DH!

Maggiemaybe Sun 18-Oct-20 09:37:39

We recently had new wills drawn up for a similar reason - one of our named executors had died and we were pretty certain the remaining one would now just hand it over to a company who would do the admin for a hefty percentage of the estate!

It’s a straightforward will and we were advised by our solicitor to name just two of our children as executors as they’d have to take time off work etc to attend any appointments together. Fortunately they get on well so we just picked the eldest two and explained the situation to them all.

Mamardoit Sun 18-Oct-20 09:49:43

Thank for the replies.

I will certainly get on with finding the original wills.

Our wills will be straight forward. Just split between the DC. The only problem could be that ours are at different stages in their lives. The older ones have their own homes and young families. The youngest two are single and still in their early 20s. One is renting and the other still in the family home. Maybe there is scope for wrangling.

More reason to get things sorted.

Aldom Sun 18-Oct-20 11:31:23

I recently amended my will. My solicitor had retired and the firm changed hands. I gave my copy of my will, which had the previous legal firm's heading, to the new solicitor and he made contact and located the original. So no need for you to search.

mumofmadboys Mon 19-Oct-20 08:16:24

We have 5 sons. Rewritten will in last few years. All our boys are executors. We didn't want any upset between them. As it happens sons 3 and 5 would be best at the job! When my sister and I were executors to my parents wills I did most of the practical stuff as I was on the spot. My sister was just sent things to sign. We employed a solicitor. It was straightforward.

PollyDolly Mon 19-Oct-20 08:29:17

Marmardoit, I have sent a PM.

Grannynannywanny Mon 19-Oct-20 08:45:44

My brother recently updated his will. He set up a power of attorney as well. Something that’s advisable to have in place if the need arises at some point. It doesn’t become active until the person becomes mentally incapacitated. His solicitor did the will update free of charge along with the POA.

Grannynannywanny Mon 19-Oct-20 08:49:09

Just to clarify, my brother paid for the POA but the will update was added on free!

Mamardoit Mon 19-Oct-20 09:23:02

Thanks for all the replies. Will be ringing a firm of solicitors later today. DH has agreed to come along if I sort it all.

Witzend Mon 19-Oct-20 09:33:29

We recently updated ours for the same reasons - had made them ages ago, long before any Gdcs we wanted to include.

We just rewrote them, using much of the same wording as in the solicitor-prepared originals, but with additions and replacement executors, i.e. dds instead of siblings.

This was not long after the beginning of the first lockdown (what if we both died of the virus??)

We we lucky to have neighbours willing to act as witnesses - out of doors and socially distanced - with the wills on a folding table between us!

We have named both dds as joint and several executors, i.e they can act alone or together, as they choose. Makes it easier in practice, since both would not need to be present to sign anything. Dh has been an executor several times so well aware of PITA factors when it can be quite enough of a hassle anyway.

TerryM Mon 19-Oct-20 09:55:23

We need to update ours as no grandchildren were around.
Son is the executor and sole beneficiary. However if husband son and I died it all goes to charity. So that needs to change now and include the next generation.
Son is going to be our POA and guardianship holder as well.
There is only him

grandtanteJE65 Mon 19-Oct-20 09:59:38

Write a draft of what you want then give it to your DH to read through and amend.

Tell him it simply has to be attended to NOW for your peace of mind.

Most of us do tend to drag our feet about making or changing our will - we don't like being confronted with our mortality, after all.

CAB can tell you whether you need more than one excecutor.

chezza1 Mon 19-Oct-20 10:04:09

I didn't think a handwritten will was valid any.more
Best to check

dragonfly46 Mon 19-Oct-20 10:05:18

We update our wills regularly as things constantly change. We have named the children as executors.

Quilty Mon 19-Oct-20 10:05:40

Men are notorious for not wanting to deal with wills. Mabe it's the end outcome they can not face. Women are more practical!!

Granof5 Mon 19-Oct-20 10:07:39

My mother made me executor of her will, sadly my brothers were not happy with what she left to them and blame me for it saying it was all down to me, now only one of my four brothers talk to me and that’s only because he needs me to do things for him, it’s so sad as we were such a close family

Molli Mon 19-Oct-20 10:08:44

We are in the process of doing ours again. Second time round for both of us although been together for over 20 yrs! Our children from each marriage are grown up + DgC now too .DH is executor of his mother’s Will and if he dies before her everything goes to his children. He is basically estranged and so is she from these children. We have had to think very carefully regarding this situation. We have employed a solicitor who gave us good advice. Where would you want your money to go if you died yesterday. Circumstances change and when they do update your will. It is far easier and quicker now than it was. It’s a bit like doing a codacil. You don’t need to change the whole Will. Re executors we have chosen my children and the son of a family friend who is a little older than our children. His father had been our executor before but as he is bit older than us there’s a chance that he might die too! Just being realistic.

Susieq62 Mon 19-Oct-20 10:22:43

I realised my executors were older than me so re wrote my will with a solicitor during Will Aid week! My daughter is the executor but she can call on the solicitor if she needs to! All will are now kept as copies in a centralised place so they can be found easily !! Best to keep things separate and simple I think !!

Callistemon Mon 19-Oct-20 10:29:57

We didn't have conpletely new wills drawn up but our solicitor updated them as the DC were of age and could become executors. We did this during Will Aid week too.
We did visit their office to do this but it was very easy.

Riggie Mon 19-Oct-20 10:36:01

Just wondering why you want your children as exectutors? Much easier to get a solicitor to do the legal stuff even for a simple will. Dad's solkcitor just did the legal stuff - we had to provide all the financial and legal papers to him and he did everything. Obviously the physical sorting out the house contents and personal effects was left to the heirs.

soldiersailor Mon 19-Oct-20 10:36:26

I asked my parents to use a solicitor, not make a DIY will (as they intended) with a Post Office form. They were advised to change ownership of their house to tenants in common from joint tenants so if Father had to go into care (he was blind) if Mother died first only half the house could be taken by the local authority. They died some six months later within a week of each other. The new will also meant we saved some £30k Inheritance Tax. I was an executor with my father's friend. The legal advice was an excellent investment.

Purplepixie Mon 19-Oct-20 10:40:43

We are in the process of doing the same thing. I just want the solicitors to be our executors as there is a lot of estrangement around at the home on my husbands side of the family. Not good.

Barrygirl Mon 19-Oct-20 10:41:47

So sensible to just have the children as executors - providing they are old enough. My stepmother was advised to use solicitors and it cost the estate thousands of pounds - and she was by no means rich!

Callistemon Mon 19-Oct-20 10:43:21

Just wondering why you want your children as exectutors? Much easier to get a solicitor to do the legal stuff even for a simple will.

Because the solicitor will charge - a lot if they can.