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Legal, pensions and money

Very Worried, What on earth do I do?

(96 Posts)
Livlass Fri 08-Jan-21 13:06:41

Hi,hoping someone will know the answer to this. 2nd marriage, both of us late 70s, married 4 yrs living in husbands house. (I offered to buy half but was rejected) So even though I have not put in a lump sum,together we have refurbished house and I contribute a monthly sum to household. Hubby has just made new will and has told me that house has been put in trust for his 2 AC along with his savings etc. I can live there till I either decide to leave or die. Question is: If hubby goes into a care home or dies,does that give his AC who care more about drugs and drink and are unstable, the right just to walk into my home and take over everything?

EllanVannin Fri 08-Jan-21 13:09:57

Blood is thicker than water when it comes to Wills I'm afraid and unless there's anything stipulated in your favour, financially, you're going to come unstuck.

EllanVannin Fri 08-Jan-21 13:11:07

If I were you I'd have a talk with a solicitor.

petra Fri 08-Jan-21 13:18:40

Livlass
Never believe what anyone tells you about a will.
Read it yourself. If you understand it and are happy, ok.
If not, see a solicitor or a will specialist.

GillT57 Fri 08-Jan-21 13:30:36

I agree that you should not believe what someone tells you about their will, many a person has had a shock this way. I would be concerned that your partner has told you after the event, that he has changed his will. It would be a good idea for you both to attend a solicitor's together, and express your concerns. Good luck

Nannarose Fri 08-Jan-21 13:50:32

I had a friend in this situation - especially sad as her DH had misunderstood his own will (I am quite sure of this, he was naive rather than a liar!).
If you have the right to remain in the house for life, then the AC cannot just walk in - it remain your house.
The problem may come if you want to buy a smaller / better suited house. Wills can be drawn up to enable you to buy another property and the ACs' 'inheritance' is transferred to the relevant portion of your new property. This needs to be specified very carefully.
You do not have the right to see your DH's will, but I would think he would allow you to read it. And yes, I think you need your own legal advice to ensure your own fair share.

David0205 Fri 08-Jan-21 13:55:01

You probably do need to see a solicitor, because although allegedly the house has been put in trust for your lifetime, which is quite normal, you want reassurance.

You say he has put his house and savings into the trust, with no mention of his children, to me that sounds like he is favouring you over them so that is good. You do need the implications explaining but if your account is accurate the outcome will be good.

Peasblossom Fri 08-Jan-21 13:55:44

He may think he has protected you but I can see some potentially difficult situations arising, could you afford to live there without him. If not you would have to move out but with no capital to buy else where. Or if you stay you will be responsible for the upkeep of a house that is not yours. Ty will be able to take action to compel you to keep the house in good order.

I know this because I recently moved in with my partner and we had several sessions with the solicitor to make sure neither of us were disadvantaged. There was a lot of what ifs to sort out.

He may not have thought this through. Perhaps he has fallen for one of those “put your house in trust and don’t pay care fees” salesmen.

If he won’t discuss this and see what could happen to you it’s very important that you get legal advice ASAP.

eazybee Fri 08-Jan-21 14:02:51

If your husband has stated in his will that you can stay in the house until you die, then you may. Should he require money for nursing home fees, a charge will be put upon the property and not claimed until you leave the property for whatever reason. It would be good to see a copy of the will and make sure exactly what your property rights are.

If you go into a nursing home they will not be able to claim for fees against the house as your name is not on the deeds, which may be why your husband has done it.

Oopsadaisy1 Fri 08-Jan-21 14:42:20

What is the ‘etc’ in his will? if you are able to live in the house until you die assuming you have the funds to pay all of the bills and presumably maintain it, has he left all of the things in the house to them as well?
Take him and his will to your own Solicitor and get it clarified, as someone has already said they can’t take the house, but they can probably empty it of all its contents.

Aldom Fri 08-Jan-21 14:53:00

David0205 if you re read OP I think you will find her husband has put his house and savings in trust for his AC (Adult children) with a life entitlement for his wife to live in the property.

Daisymae Fri 08-Jan-21 15:05:23

You really do need to get legal advice and you do need to see a copy of the will and get your solicitor to look at it too.

David0205 Fri 08-Jan-21 16:26:24

Aldom

David0205 if you re read OP I think you will find her husband has put his house and savings in trust for his AC (Adult children) with a life entitlement for his wife to live in the property.

Yes, as long as that is actually what is said in the will - and many wills are worded badly. It also depends who is executor and who gets power of attorney if he goes into care, that’s why I said go to a solicitor.

A friend of mines husband had started selling assets off in favor of his son, he would not see reason and she started divorce action to stop him, only then did he back down and it settled down after that.

If the will is as stated and properly worded that is good, if there was no will and he died intestate, half would go to the children. If a will tries to disinherit a spouse it can be challenged to make provision, it is much much better to get a will properly drafted then everyone knows what will happen

Tangerine Fri 08-Jan-21 16:29:34

In your situation, I'd try and see a Solicitor or ask Citizens Advice.

PollyDolly Fri 08-Jan-21 16:33:33

I do not claim to know all the legalities of what the OP is stating but in her position I think I would be looking after my own money to ensure her OH AC don't benefit when she dies.

Floradora9 Fri 08-Jan-21 16:37:03

I had a relative who left his house to his children but gave his wife the right to live there. If there were any problems with the roof etc. she just told the family it was up to them to sort it out . She did not pay for the upkeep .

M0nica Fri 08-Jan-21 22:30:21

Never ever believe what anyone says about what they have put in their will. The only proof is the document - and remember, many a person rewrites and revises their will regularly.

My DS and I had this problem with our DF, he added a last minute codicil, it didn't change how the money was left, but set deadlines on when some of the sorting out should be done by. It was utterly impractical and the deadlines were impossible to meet. As my DS and I were the only legatees, our solicitor suggested we just ignore it, which we did.

The solicitor said the codicil was made against his (the solicitor's) advice and was the result of an occurrence that arose when a friend of DF was winding up an estate.

Has your DH used a solicitor to draw up the will or has he done it himself? In your place I would do everything Daisymae recommends.

Luckygirl Fri 08-Jan-21 22:33:48

I think money spent on a consultation with a solicitor is the only really safe way to endure that all bases are covered.

David0205 Sat 09-Jan-21 08:07:29

Couples even families should make wills together I have seen many torn apart because of the insecurity of “not knowing” what will happen after a bereavement.

Be aware of new acquaintances of elderly relatives they may not be all they seem.
Here are 2 that I watched happen.

Father remarried, 2 yrs later developed dementure, new wife got power of attorney, then set about trying to sell all his substantial property, disinheriting his 4 children. That took 2 yrs to sort out the family did win, at some cost.

Aunt Flora had 2 long lost cousins appear from overseas to “look after her”, the will was changed, she died within a year. In that case the, newcomers settled for half the estate, to save legal costs, they still got £400k. It was never proved that they were actually relatives.

M0nica Sat 09-Jan-21 08:57:31

That is the ideal David0205, but that this does not happen in many cases, especially when there are second or more marriages involved, is why we have threads like this one.

polnan Sat 09-Jan-21 09:36:05

..and of course Wills can be changed

see your own solicitor asap

SusieFlo Sat 09-Jan-21 09:45:23

I presume he is concerned that if you have equal share in the house his children could be disinherited should he die before you. Do you have children yourself? If so then they they could then inherit the house when you die and his own children would have nothing. This happened with some neighbours of ours.

Wolfie59 Sat 09-Jan-21 09:49:56

Livlass, what a predicament to be in, and to be told after the event, I really would recommend you see a solicitor (with a copy of the will in question) to establish what your rights are, should you need to pay for care, etc. Nannarose makes a good point, whilst you could move to something smaller, it sounds like at that point the AC would inherit the proceeds from the house sale. You could stay there till you die, and they would have no right to make your life difficult, but do you want that hanging around your head. Go see a solicitor, invidually and then I would go together too, so both parties know what is in store.

Wolfie59 Sat 09-Jan-21 09:52:37

It sounds like that is the case SusieFlo, but what a way to go about it. No discussion.

Nona4ever Sat 09-Jan-21 10:11:35

I am currently in the same situation as the OP except that it has already happened. My partner of 15 years - we were not married - died earlier this year and left our home, which he owned, in a Trust leaving me the Right of Occupation for as long as I chose. He also left money to enable me to afford to live here and I have the obligation to maintain the house in good order. His children, the Executors of his Will, are doing their damndest to get me out but my position is safe legally. It is a deeply unpleasant situation to be in but I am staying put - which is what my beloved partner wanted.