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Legal & money

Wills and leaving to grandchildren

(131 Posts)
Thoro Wed 13-Jan-21 18:11:21

Would really like GN’s thoughts on this. I have three children and the will I made a few years ago leaves my estate to be divided equally between them (their father died many years ago and present husband and I keep our own finances).
The two older ones have passed the age of having children however the youngest one has an almost 3 year old and his wife is due to give birth to twins any day now!
Any thoughts on changing my will to give my youngest additional support if I do pass away (I am 70 and quite healthy but you never know). Not over keen on leaving anything in trust but don’t know how the other two would feel if I left more to their younger brother. Any thoughts please. (I’ve got some savings plus half the house)

Whitewavemark2 Wed 13-Jan-21 18:13:36

You could leave a percentage of your estate to each grandchild. After which the balance can be divided.

Oopsadaisy1 Wed 13-Jan-21 18:15:41

I wouldn’t ,I would split the youngest ones inheritance and give some to the GCs. I don’t see why the other ACs should ‘fund’ your youngests children.

mumofmadboys Wed 13-Jan-21 18:17:20

Would it be easier to leave a set sum to be divided between all your grandchildren on the event of your death and to be kept in accounts which can't be accessed till they are 18? That way more money isn't left to your youngest son and you want to avoid any ill feeling if at all possible.

Granarchist Wed 13-Jan-21 18:17:46

Please stick with your original will. Who knows what needs your elder children may have in the future? Legacies can create awful upset and to 'favour' one over the other two would not be fair. You could always leave a small legacy to the grandchildren directly.

Namsnanny Wed 13-Jan-21 18:18:07

I would leave it as it is. Give your gc money and/gifts now whilst your alive. Set up savings accounts if you like.
But dont cause any emotional misunderstandings after your death.
Well, that's what I'm doing.

Madgran77 Wed 13-Jan-21 18:22:40

My Mum arranged for 10% of her legacy to be divided between any grandchildren and the rest divided equally between the ACs. You could choose an appropriate percentage so that whatever the legacy is the division will be balanced the same? It worked well in our family

Thoro Wed 13-Jan-21 18:27:47

Thank you for your answers - think I’ll be leaving my will as it is at the moment. It’s really useful to hear other’s views and everyone is saying roughly the same!

SueDonim Wed 13-Jan-21 18:31:59

My mil left part of her estate to be divided amongst her GC and GGC. It was a lovely thought and it hasn’t caused any upset in our family. However, some of the GGC weren’t born at the time of her death so they don’t have the small financial cushion that their cousins and siblings will have to start out upon life.

We considered doing something similar for our GC but in the end, it seemed too fraught with the possibility of upset so it’s a simple straight split between our DC.

Witzend Wed 13-Jan-21 18:38:18

How about leaving certain sums to the children’s parents, for the benefit of the children, but to be used at the parents’ discretion? So it could be used to help pay for music or ballet lessons, school trips, maybe to help pay for family holidays, etc.

We did that recently when updating our will, for the benefit of a child we know with special needs. So not to the child directly, but to be spent as the parents (who are not well off) see fit. And if that means family holidays, we’re happy with that.

Kittye Wed 13-Jan-21 18:38:39

Our estate ( if indeed there’ll be any left!) will be split into quarters. A quarter each for our 3 children and a quarter divided between our 6 grandchildren.

Witzend Wed 13-Jan-21 18:49:14

Should have added, we updated our wills at the beginning of lockdown one - in case!
One dd has 3 small dcs, the other, though happily partnered, doesn’t want children.

We’ve left a certain sum to each Gdc, not in trust but to go into their savings/ISA accounts, and the remainder, after a few other small bequests, to be divided equally between dds.

In a way I feel that the dd with children could do with a bigger share, but we’ve always treated them absolutely equally so it didn’t seem right to change that now, and I’m sure that dd would not expect us to.

kjmpde Sat 16-Jan-21 09:37:07

my mother left all ( to be fair not a great deal as she never owned a property) to my brother . i do not resent that as i was in a far financial position than my brother. i think you need to figure out how the others would feel - would it cause any bad feeling between siblings?
i have a friend that had extra financila support during the mother's lifetime and not in the will. so there are other ways around this if you think it would cause resentment

PollyDolly Sat 16-Jan-21 09:38:40

Having experienced a situation where siblings did not inherit equal amounts and the upset, hard feelings and estrangement that it ultimately caused I would say no, do not change the will.

Whatever their own personal circumstances each one of your AC should be treated equally.

Rondetto Sat 16-Jan-21 09:39:42

No, no way can you treat one more or better than the others. Your memory will ling on bitterly with whichever you have favoured. I know this from experience within my family.
Treat each one the same regardless of their circumstances.

wildswan16 Sat 16-Jan-21 09:41:09

I think the best way is to leave 10% of the total estate (or whatever you decide) to be split between all the grandchildren at your death. Then the parents can decide how to use it. I would think your own children would expect something to be passed down to your grandchildren.

Helen657 Sat 16-Jan-21 09:41:56

My mum has left a lump sum to each adult GC with balance split between sister (3 AC) & myself (1 AC). Seems fair to me!

ayokunmi1 Sat 16-Jan-21 09:42:39

Keep it as it is,the ones with children will in later life have their children to support and hopefully care for them.
The ones that don't have won't have this advantage

Madwoman11 Sat 16-Jan-21 09:44:24

Treat your children equal is my opinion. I believe you can bequeath grandchildren to benefit when they reach a set age up to 25 years old (when they have matured and know what they want) without setting up an actual trust. The executors are responsible to invest such proceeds. Quite simple I believe, and your existing will can be altered very quickly and cheaply by the same solitor you originally used. Give it further thought, and perhaps speak to your solicitor.

Elijah Sat 16-Jan-21 09:44:52

I'm in the same position I have 3 sons only one of which has a 3yr old son. I spoke to my other 2 boys and discussed it with them. Both then agreed they wouldn't mind me leaving something to my grandson. I decided to split it so that all 3 sons get the same and little man gets a portion held until he's 21 when it'll be useful.

Sashabel Sat 16-Jan-21 09:45:22

My daughter has 2 children and my son has no children. I have left my estate to be split 50/50 between my son and daughter. I would never favour one of my children over the other just because they have children. I'm sure my grandchildren will benefit indirectly from their mothers inheritance when the time comes.

Lulu16 Sat 16-Jan-21 09:46:22

Do everything equally. People's circumstances in life can change for the better or worse in an instant.

Nicolaed Sat 16-Jan-21 09:47:27

Having experienced the situation you mention through my husbands family, I would strongly recommend that you leave things as you originally intended.

Smileless2012 Sat 16-Jan-21 09:49:19

IMO you should leave your will as it is with each of your AC receiving the same.

ComeOnGran Sat 16-Jan-21 09:51:22

I am just dealing with the feelings that my parents’ unequal will has left me with following my father’s recent death. I have not articulated those feelings to anyone except my DH as I am very keen not to sour relations with my brother. But those feelings are there, and bring up quite bitter memories of previous unequal treatment. So my advice would be to leave the estate to be divided equally; by all means leave bequests to DG but the residue should be divided equally between DC.