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Spending money on yourself - easy or hard?

(90 Posts)
grannyactivist Tue 30-Nov-21 17:03:41

I want for very little, have no expensive hobbies and the hobby that I do have (family history), I have a subscription for, so when it comes to my birthday or Christmas I never know what to say that I 'want'.

A few year's back I began to fill in YouGov questionnaires - they promise a £50 payment for completing about a million of the things. I decided that when I got my £50 (if I lived that long) I would be wildly extravagant for just once in my life, and treat myself to some really expensive, super quality licorice. In the past I've made similar bargains with myself, but when it's come down to it I've simply been unable to bring myself to spend the money - on me! There's not much spare money and if there is any it usually gets added to our charity donations.

The £50 arrived in my bank a few days ago and I spent two days dithering, but I have spent it ALL on a licorice advent calendar (should have been £60, but I had an offer and got it reduced, with free shipping from Scandinavia).

I can't actually believe I've done that, and I'm alternating between defiance and utter shock at myself. My husband thinks it's hilarious, but is also deeply surprised (and encouraging) that I went through with my promise to myself. It's obscene, I know - and I don't even have the excuse of sharing it, because most of my family dislike licorice. blush

But - I also know that any one of my siblings would spend that much on themselves (and much more) without even giving it a second's thought.

So, what about you? Do you find spending money on yourself easy or hard?

Riverwalk Tue 30-Nov-21 17:09:19

I find it very easy! And I give to charity.

AGAA4 Tue 30-Nov-21 17:09:35

I find it hard to spend on myself. I think it is because I had many years of having to find money to look after my children so I rarely had money left over for me.
I think that is ingrained now and even though all my money is for my own needs I still feel a bit wrong for spending on luxuries.

paddyann54 Tue 30-Nov-21 17:12:20

I always buy (fairly) expensive skincare ,my reasoning is my OH has to look at my face so I'm spending it for him.Apart from that I am very low reluctant to spend on me but very good at spending on my children and grandchildren and I'm sure my OH's large collection of whisky/whiskey came via my bank account.Its round to go around my granny used to say ,you cant take it with you when you die .

Coastpath Tue 30-Nov-21 17:35:20

My dad (who was a difficult man to know and live with) was very mean when it came to spending money on himself or others. He was a man who knew the cost of everything and the value of nothing. When he died we cleared out his house everything was worn, threadbare and/or the cheapest thing available. You could see through his pillowcases but he died with loads of money in the bank and never enjoyed it. It was like he didn't think he was worth nice stuff.

It changed my mind about spending. I'd been bought up to be ultra frugal, but when I saw how my dad was living something snapped in me and I thought why shouldn't I have nice things? I saw it might be linked to low self esteem = I don't deserve good things. Now I buy what I like. I live within my means of course, but I don't intend to die with a lot of money in the bank. I am generous with my charity donations and don't have children or anyone depending on me. Whilst I don't spend just for the sake of it I'm going to bloody well enjoy myself while I'm here.

I hope that you enjoy every mouthful of the licorice grannyactivist.

Kim19 Tue 30-Nov-21 17:44:18

I find it extremely easy but I don't want for much nowadays. However, GA, I cannot tell you the pleasure you have given me by treating yourself at last. Thank you and WELL DONE!

GagaJo Tue 30-Nov-21 17:57:31

I find it very hard. I've always been this way inclined but since I work from home I have no need for new work clothes, have enough everyday clothes. I don't wear much jewellery anymore and I'm now very focused on not buying anything plastic or synthetic.

If you have no material wants or needs, what DO you buy?

Blondiescot Tue 30-Nov-21 18:00:07

I also find it very hard. It's the same when I get expensive presents, especially perfume or really nice skincare/body care sets - I end up not using them because I feel they're 'too good'. Stupid, I know.

Allsorts Tue 30-Nov-21 18:10:15

I have always been told off for being extravagant family and a few friends. I do it while I can, when I can’t afford it I will stop. I would rather treat them whilst alive than leave money in my will. However I find it hard to spend money on my house and myself, but will spend what I can on travel.
I didn’t realise that you could pay £50 on liquorice I will investigate as I know someone that loves it.
I would never spend more than I have.

kittylester Tue 30-Nov-21 18:10:52

I find it easy to spend small amounts on myself - I could buy a jumper from Sansbury's without a thought but DH tells me to buy more expensive things for my self and less frequently. He just persuaded me to buy a velvet top for almost £100 - it's lovely but I will keep it for best!!!!

I can spend a fortune on stuff for the house.

Your advent calendar sounds fab ga.

Lucca Tue 30-Nov-21 18:23:54

GagaJo

I find it very hard. I've always been this way inclined but since I work from home I have no need for new work clothes, have enough everyday clothes. I don't wear much jewellery anymore and I'm now very focused on not buying anything plastic or synthetic.

If you have no material wants or needs, what DO you buy?

Experiences ! Hence me deciding to go to Italy to avoid Christmas in UK! Bloody Omicron…..

annie61 Tue 30-Nov-21 18:24:38

Blondiescot

I also find it very hard. It's the same when I get expensive presents, especially perfume or really nice skincare/body care sets - I end up not using them because I feel they're 'too good'. Stupid, I know.

I've read many tales of the sadness of people who clear the homes of the deceased when they come across unused, expensive gifts that have never been used by the recipient. USE YOUR STUFF! enjoy it just as the giver intended you to!

Peasblossom Tue 30-Nov-21 18:38:58

I always think it’s a bit sad when someone comes into my SiLs gift shop and says, “Oh that’s lovely. Who can I give it to?”

I think, “Enjoy it yourself 🙂”

I’ve spent my retirement lump sum on “experiences”. I decided I would see as much of the world as I could. The “magic” names. Kathmandu, Patagonia, Samarkand Timbuktu……

I don’t regret a penny spent on travelling just for me😀

I hope grannyactivist’s liquorice gives her the same pleasure.

MissAdventure Tue 30-Nov-21 18:40:01

I'm a notorious skinflint.
I did buy some secondhand clarks shoes back in the summer, because I was having trouble walking i still am, so that was a waste of money

Calistemon Tue 30-Nov-21 18:47:09

I have to spend a lot on my shoes/ boots but try to wait until there are offers.
Still having trouble too, MissAdventure

NotTooOld Tue 30-Nov-21 18:47:12

I can spend money on myself quite easily although I would never spend what I don't have, so not likely to get into debt. I might not be around for much longer so I don't see why I should not have what I want, within reason. I mostly buy clothes (not expensive ones), shoes, stuff for the garden and art supplies, oh yes, and I buy rather a lot of books for my kindle. I should add that my dh is a bit of a skinflint which reins me in somewhat!

Granniesunite Tue 30-Nov-21 18:47:27

I’m getting better at it. Enjoy the liquorice grannyactivist one of my favourites too.

BlueBelle Tue 30-Nov-21 18:49:56

I cannot buy easily for myself, but it’s very easy to spend on everyone else
My Dad was exactly the same
I m glad you found the way to do it Grannyactivist with your £50 but I m reeling at the thought of £50 worth of liquorice 🙃 doesn’t it cause you to 💩 a lot

VioletSky Tue 30-Nov-21 18:53:51

I find it a bit easier now.

I used to go for quantity over quality, buy whatever was cheapest in sales etc and then find it just ruined quickly or I didn't really wear it.

If I was given money for Christmas or my birthday I would end up spending it all on the children.

Now I buy better quality things and treat myself more often. I've come to understand this is self care.

Calistemon Tue 30-Nov-21 18:58:38

I could spend £50 on something but not liquorice, grannyactivist

Enjoy it

Cabbie21 Tue 30-Nov-21 19:25:36

Having grown up with little and brought up my family on little, I am quite frugal, though I am happy to spend if I can find something worthwhile. Last year in lockdown I treated myself to a new ring, as we didn't go out for months. I spend money on subscriptions( eg choirs, ancestry) but my only personal luxury is to get my hair done every six weeks.

Sago Tue 30-Nov-21 19:29:20

My biggest indulgence recently has been a Liberty handbag.
I will look after it and still be using for many years hopefully.
I go for quality not quantity.

Poppyred Tue 30-Nov-21 19:37:34

Never ever had any money when the children were young and they always came first. Now that I can afford to spend on myself I prefer quality over quantity and think long and hard before spending anything at all. Old habits die hard.

Deedaa Tue 30-Nov-21 19:44:03

Honestly GA if anyone deserves to treat themselves it's you. I find it easier to spend money on me since DH died. I feel now that I haven't got endless years stretching in front of me and if I want to enjoy something now then why not?

HowVeryDareYou Tue 30-Nov-21 20:02:53

I frequently spend money on myself, but nothing expensive, if that makes sense. The odd (boxed) hair dye, a bottle of foundation, clothes, etc. I got myself a new t-shirt today - £6 from Morrison's!