Gransnet forums

Legal & money

If you had just won £10,000…Adult Children and Energy Prices!

(24 Posts)
Kateykrunch Sat 02-Apr-22 15:51:47

Okay, so you have a spare £10,000 kicking around, don't we all? So this is a what if question……..I understand many people are struggling…….but say you were already comfortably off, had enough to pay your way and this really was spare money. How would you use it. I have 2 adult children with families and my Son is really worried and struggling with the rising costs, my Daughter similar but has a bigger income. I dont know if say £100 per month regularly would help or if a £1000 lump sum would take away some of the stress, or would £5000 lump sum just smooth the way for them. Its horrid how our young ones are struggling with all the increases and calls on their finances. Would like to hear what you might do in this imaginary scenario.

MawtheMerrier Sat 02-Apr-22 16:21:00

I think for anybody, paying off a chunk of mortgage would be helpful. It reduces the interest and consequently the amount you have to repay each month. If one was lucky enough to be able to overpay the whole would be paid off that much sooner.
A friend we had (no children, says it all) managed to pay the increased monthly payment when interest rates went up - if you remember they were much more volatile in the 80’s and 90’s- but also maintain his monthly payments when interest rates went down again. Result? He had paid off a 25 year mortgage in under 15 years.

Daisymae Sat 02-Apr-22 16:29:19

I think that things are going to get a lot worse before they get better. If energy prices stay at this rate next winter is going to be very difficult. But with the scenario you present I would offer to pay a regular amount say bus fares for children, school lunches or trips, maybe shoes and uniform? This all adds up. I would offer the same for both. Plus extra cash for birthdays etc.

Elizabeth27 Sat 02-Apr-22 16:48:10

I would give as much as I could in a lump son. It is such a good feeling knowing you have a bit of money in the bank.

recklessgran Sat 02-Apr-22 16:49:57

We would just message our 5DD's and say we've got a bit of spare money so we've dumped x in your account. Enjoy! That way they know it's an unconditional gift and they also know that we trust them to put the money wherever it's needed. We do this now and again [although not on the thousands level] and our girls are always extremely grateful and generally tell us what they're going to do with it - they know we'd never ask or judge. They're all different and in different financial circumstances but we give them all the same. In the situation you describe I think I'd just give them both an equal lump sum and say "this is to help you through the tricky times ahead" and leave them to decide what to do with it. You're lovely and they'd be chuffed [and relieved] I imagine.

rosie1959 Sat 02-Apr-22 16:57:24

I would give my children 5k each they both probably have a higher household income than we do but more expense

Charleygirl5 Sat 02-Apr-22 17:03:07

I would probably put it towards care home fees for me. Not required just yet but one never knows.

nadateturbe Sat 02-Apr-22 17:20:44

Definitely go to my children. I give my daughter vouchers for a particular shop regularly. She said it's fun to have a free food shop one week every month.

nadateturbe Sat 02-Apr-22 17:21:45

I do feel sorry for young families. It's a terrible time for them.

Oopsadaisy1 Sat 02-Apr-22 17:22:39

Half each for MissOops and MzOops.

karmalady Sat 02-Apr-22 17:28:46

you can give a total of 3k this financial year, I gave my three 1k each last month, they have all used it wisely. I would give 3k this year up to 5th april and another 3k after 6th april. That keeps it out of iht. I would put the other 4k into my savings, for the future. My gift to my three was a one-off

Doodledog Sat 02-Apr-22 17:38:17

Whatever you decide, I would keep the amounts the same.

I think whatever you do (ie lump sum, regular payment or smaller but more frequent lump sums) would be such a lovely gesture, and they'll be delighted at having some of the stress taken off them.

BBbevan Sat 02-Apr-22 19:24:45

We have just given our ACs 5k each to help with anything they need. They need it more than us.

Shinamae Sat 02-Apr-22 19:27:45

Crikey I just wish I had some spare money to give to my Adult children 😬

M0nica Sat 02-Apr-22 19:43:39

We are in this fortunate position, but have been for a decade and we will continue to what we have always done, and that is either give things or buy things as when we think they are required.

Fortunately both children are in reasonably paid jobs. Our daughter, who is single, is in a very well paid job and well able to cope with the current inflationary situation. Her brother is married with children. We do things like buy computers for the children. pay for a family holiday, We redecorated and did over the childrens bedrooms to their taste, and made a contribution when the car has to be replaced. We aim to smooth some of the financial lumps and bumps in their lives rather than give a steady subsidy.

DD knows all we do and has explicitly told us that any money we spend helping the grandchildren, doesn't count as giving money to her brother and that is where most of the money funnelled to our son's family goes.

Although she is well paid now that has not always been so, and we have been careful to keep a balance between how we help each.

biglouis Sun 03-Apr-22 13:27:34

I dont have any children (by choice) but I have a nephew who helps me a lot. I would give him 5 K and use the rest to help other relatives on an ad hoc basis. It would potentially pay his fuel bills for this winter but that would be up to him how he spent it. When you give a gift you cant dictate how its spent.

PamelaJ1 Sun 03-Apr-22 13:40:46

Like Monica we are in a ‘comfortable’ position. We have just helped our struggling DD to buy a house. Mortgage cheaper than rent. The other DD & her DH are very well off so we had the conversation and they will get their enhanced share when we die. Presuming there is some left!!
It is important that everyone is included in the conversation.

Hithere Sun 03-Apr-22 13:44:36

I would put it in savings and help AC if they ask

Audi10 Mon 23-May-22 13:20:52

I’d love to have spare money to give each of our four children but as it happens they all have good jobs and earn much more than us

Franbern Mon 23-May-22 16:12:50

Should be no strings on any gift. So not in vouchers, or for specific use. Although, when I was working and my single-parent daughter was making her own way in her career and financially struggling, I used to pay the fees for all her daughters' after-school clubs (Swimming lesson,s gymnastic club, music classes).

It is so lovely to be able to give such gifts to our AC. Do feel sorry for so many people with young families and heavy mortgages at present.

Would not give it all, keep some back for 'rainy days' either for myself or any of them.

Juliet27 Mon 27-Jun-22 15:56:41

As both my children live in Australia I’d pay for their fares if they planned to bring families for a visit.

Ladyleftfieldlover Mon 27-Jun-22 16:01:29

We’ve twice given our three £10,000 each to do as they choose. One time it was part of a legacy from my sister in law who left everything to OH. He thought the children should have something.

VioletSky Mon 27-Jun-22 16:07:12

I wouldn't mind what they spent it on

There has been a few times my Dad has chucked money my way and generally it goes wherever the need is, if no need, some goes in savings for the next need and we treat everyone to a few wants...

He has never asked us where it went

BrightandBreezy Mon 27-Jun-22 16:29:08

Depends on how good the adult kids are with money. If they are good with money leave it to them to decide how to spend it. If not needs more thought. I only have one and she has not been great with money but does totally support her whole family so I would definitely want to help out and often do. If she was getting the whole £10,000 I don't think she would get it all at once unless for something specific. Think I would give her £1000 now to help with how hard it is and she could decide what to do with it then later maybe £5000 for a family holiday. Then the remainder later and she could decide how she wants that, all at once and maybe pay some off mortgage or anything else or maybe a couple £100 a month. Alternatively I would give her the whole lot at once to buy a newish car as it's always a stress to her worrying about when the old car she needs for work will need work or replaced.
If only 😀 and she would be so pleased however she got it. We do what we can, but it would be e wonderful beto have a sudden extra £10000 to give her. Dream on