In an age where safety has dominated news headlines and technology has created what some may describe as ‘disconnected communities’, Gransnet Local Editor Alison Rimmer questions just how much of an impact these issues have had on neighbourliness, especially within her own local community.
Alison Rimmer
Neighbourliness - is it in decline?
Posted on: Fri 03-Feb-17 16:17:59
(7 comments )
“There’s a roundabout in our backyard!” That was always going to be the title of Mum’s book had she ever got round to writing it! She's 87 now - physically frail, but mentally sharp. Following discharge from hospital, she's back home with a ‘care package’ while housebound and we've been talking a lot about the ‘old days’ and how the neighbours used to look out for each other and help in times of need.
Mum grew up in a close-knit community of terraced houses in Lancashire in the 1930s of which, as in many places, there is now no trace. The 1970s regeneration obliterated the houses and streets where Mum grew up and it's now a dual carriageway - hence the title of her book!
This was a time when children played out all day and mums kept an eye on everyone. Older neighbours too would look after you, telling you off, warning you to “Get home. It’ll be dark soon!”, a freedom sadly not enjoyed by my young grandchildren today who, despite living in a cul-de-sac of modern terraces, don’t play out at all.
This freedom to play and roam around brought with it a responsibility for neighbours to look out for one another, especially those who were ill or in need. Children would be sent round to an elderly neighbour to ask if they needed any errands running - the corner shop being within easy reach. Neighbours didn’t knock at the front door, it wasn't kept locked - they just walked into each other's homes if they needed something or wanted to chat. If a housewife was poorly, it was a given that either of the adjacent neighbours would wash her doorstep while doing their own. For people who couldn't afford the services of a doctor (pre-NHS), a local wise woman would help at births and deaths. My great-aunty Nellie was one and could be called upon day or night to assist with birthing, or ‘laying out’ a dead relative in the privacy of their own home - worlds away from the public death of many an old person in a busy hospital ward, surrounded by strangers and laid out alone in the mortuary.
Neighbours didn't knock at the front door, it wasn't kept locked - they just walked into each other's homes if they needed something or wanted to chat.
People needing help after illness weren't assessed for state care - local neighbours popped in to check on them, make a cup of tea, and possibly take a meal round. Not having to go out to work once they had families meant many young mothers had the time to care for relatives and neighbours.
It was the post-WWII renovations that brought a subtle change in how neighbours interacted - people got new doors with a Yale lock and suddenly no one could just walk in anymore; they couldn't pop in quite so easily for socialising or to check on each other. It placed a barrier between people where none had existed before.
I grew up in the 1960s with similar freedom to roam the district. Once the dads had gone to work, hardly a vehicle came down the side roads. Many mums still stayed at home and there was no online shopping - the most excitement was the weekly pop lorry visit and the biggest danger was the coal lorry! Neighbours socialised, even took turns to help an infirm neighbour with no relatives nearby. After Dad died, Mum's immediate neighbours reassured her they were “only a knock on the wall away”.
How different now for Mum, living in a small house away from her long-term marital home. She knows only the first name of the people in the adjacent house. Although it's a small street, everyone drives everywhere and almost everyone is out at work. Strangers come to ‘care’ for her as our family, like many, are at work. How lovely it would be if there was an option of support for young mums to stay home and over 50s to retire early! Our children need not be in nurseries so long and our elderly might not be so lonely.