Menopause - what was your experience?

I didn't realise the menopause was something to go to the doctor about. Isn't it something that just happens? Don't most women know what to expect? I'm not sure I believe in medicalising everything.

But that just (quite oldish) me. Perhaps it's different these days.

Totally agree, Gonegirl. However, in my case, it coincided with my thyroid packing up and that was not diagnosed and led to Type 2 diabetes. The symptoms I had were attributed to the menopause, and with hindsight I wish it was picked up earlier.

I was lucky. The menopause just happened. My periods were there one month, then no more. Didn’t suffer with hot flushes etc. One benefit was I had suffered bad headaches, and they seemed much better after the menopause, my hormones I suppose.
Reading and hearing how others are affected, I feel very fortunate.

I think some people breeze through it, in which case you are right, no doctors needed. But for others this is absolutely not the case. I have a number of friends whose experiences were absolutely dreadful. For some it has been various physical symptoms. One developed chronic insomnia that left her almost unable to function and almost cost her her job. Others have had depression etc brought on by menopause and for at least one of these women, HRT has quite literally been a life saver.

If this has not been your experience then I appreciate that it is possible that you can't imagine quite how bad it can be for some women, but please believe me that for many there is no alternative but to seek help. The last thing we need to do is make women feel that it's all in their mind and they should be coping, when help is accessible that can change everything. Think of it in the same way as depression - if you haven't suffered from it it is easy to think that someone who does can just pull themselves together. But of course this is not the case at all. For some women menopause can be absolute hell. If you've got through it with nothing more than a few flushes and a bit of discomfort then you are one of the lucky ones but we should never discourage anyone who is suffering to seek the support they need.

I could put up with the physical symptoms but struggled with the rest. I became very low and unhappy and wanted to lash out at all the people I care about. It got to a point where it couldn't continue and getting HRT has changed my life beyond recognition and saved my marriage. It's not for everyone and I know from friends that not all GPs are as sympathetic as mine, but for me having 'normal' back again is the best thing ever.

I too didn't feel the need to visit my GP because of the menopause.

I did feel the need to seek help because after a lifetime of easy breezy periods I developed the period from hell after being put on hrt for joint pains. The joint pains went but the period lasted non stop for five years and was at times so heavy I was unable to leave the house. I'm still amazed I kept my sanity.

Mine started with my periods being all over the palce and excessively heavy at 37-38. I had the Mirena Coil fitted, whihc workd wonderfully after a month of bleeding, then I started to flood again and they decided to do a hysteroscopy. No more periods, ever, Not sure when mine actually happened. - I had a few hot flushes, but basically over and done with by the time I was 45. Tried HRT for about a month, didn't get on with it, and begrudged having to pay two prescription charges for one treatment so didn't bother with anything. Didn't really feel I needed to. However .... Menopause has produced the classic middle aged spread and thinning hair!

I'm with the initial responders. Obviously I was lucky. Periods stopped. Lovely!
I'd been scared into fearing a dreadful time by campaigns such as you look like you want to be mounting. I bought all the books and braced myself for - nothing!
It's a stage in life not an illness.

Like the OP I never thought Menopause was something that required a visit to my GP. In fact I was thrilled when I finally stopped the monthly cramps and ‘flooding’.
In my perimenopause I took up playing an instrument with my local brass band and then became their organiser. I had never learned to read music in my life and had to really work hard mastering the art of playing a brass instrument. I swear my mind was so occupied that I never gave a thought that I was transitioning from young middle age to .proper middle age.
I finally quit the band when I was 57 as the commitment was interfering with family life and I was also running out of energy.
I still guest play with bands from time to time but now DH and I are both retired and I have been unwell for some time we have decided to spend as much time as we can doing things together but I can’t see DH playing a trumpet!

My periods finished really early- mid 40s - I'd just separated from my husband so perhaps my body knew I didn't need them any longer!!!
I thought it was wonderful- both occurrences! No more periods, what's not to like, and no real symptoms either. I was offered HRT but, as my mum had breast cancer, I refused it.

I had a couple of very heavy periods - not consecutive - which happened, of course, at the most inconvenient times. Nearly got myself locked in a building after an evening course trying to sort myself out during the second one . Hot flushes, yes, but nothing I couldn't cope with.

Absolutely delighted not have periods any more as I'd always hated them. The whole menopause was really quite easy, for which I was very grateful as I know some people do suffer a lot. No HRT either and no problems, so far.

After all those years of monthly suffering, including mood swings and 3 day headaches, I sailed through the Menopause and didn't have to see my doctor. However the most surprising thing for me is that I stopped suffering from travel sickness, which I had endured since childhood It was wonderful to be able to read a book/magazine on public transport and going on holiday I could sit near the back of a coach. I wish someone could tell me why that happened.

No problem. It just happened. I asked GP if it was necessary to have HRT and she said there was no point as I had no symptoms. I was only 43.

Meno what? Hardly noticed it! Guess I was lucky but not exceptional lots of women sail through. Same with periods really.

Like Gonegirl and others it was just another phase of my life.
I found I consumed more soya products (especially milk) and had a relatively straightforward time. Was very busy and it never occurred to me to visit a doctor.

I did not know what to expect because my mother was of the generation that didn’t speak of such things.

Vaginal dryness, painful sex, horrendous periods followed by no periods,exhaustion, anaemia and 5 years of repeated UTI infections.

A GP who has no interest and couldn’t be bothered to explain the benefits of the drugs she prescribed.

This was my experience and it does exist it has to be spoken about and does need to be medicalised in many cases.

It is not 1950 and we have a right to help, advice and medication.

I am 56 running my own business, have 3 AC, 1 GC a husband and will not accept being fobbed off with platitudes such as “ well we all have to suffer” “it’s nature” etc etc.

There is help but unless you have a good GP it’s hard to find.

We need to shout and scream and get all we the help we need.

Some hot flushes some bad enough that I would stand in the garden in a T shirt in November! No night sweats at all. Fluctuated from months without periods to months where they were so heavy I flooded through a super plus tampon and a towel in an hour.

The heavy bleeding was caused by an undiagnosed fibroid which wasn’t picked up until 10 years later because I had a scan for another medical reason ( wish it had been picked up the flooding was horrendous, kept extra clothes in work just in case and had to use them. )

Never occurred to me to go back to the GP thought it was the same for everyone. Change in periods took 3 years from age 50 . All finished by 53. So glad to see the back of them
They had been painful all my fertile life.

I appreciate for some symptoms are much worse but didn’t want to take HRT so never consulted GP. Menopause is a natural occurrence not an illness

Calendargirl

Exactly the same as you, including the end of dreadful migraines

I started it at about 55. I didn't really notice it much. A few hot flushes. In the years preceding it I had the most horrendous heavy periods and flooding so I was glad to see the back of them when they stopped.

I had no symptoms at all, or so I thought the time. No hot flushes, no night sweats etc. But, looking back, I think the mood swings I had, - and it was only later that I realised,-
did badly affect a relationship I was in at the time.
I never went to the doctor regarding the menopause.

barleymac such a good post and so true,it would be a good world if everyone was the same and had no problems wouldn't it but sadly all symtoms are not the same with everyone and some ladies need that extra help.

The lead up to it was worse for me.
Terrible headaches, feeling faint enough to have to sit on the floor (in Sainsburys!)

The menopause itself was ok, just the hot flushes were difficult to manage, but I didn't go to the doctors.

Reading some posts I was beginning to think I was a total wimp for going to my GP, but now having read some others I’m reminded that not everyone just “sails through”. Phew, not just me then!

Of course I enjoyed no longer having periods, especially the heavy & extremely painful ones I’d had latterly, and horrid migraines fading away was a bonus too. However the extreme tiredness, extreme mood swings, night sweats and awful sleep deprivation in my early/mid forties were certainly not life enhancing. Nor was all this conducive to a happy family life, never mind managing a busy full time job too.

Yes it’s a natural part of life but more problematic for some than others. There’s no shame in seeking help for any health issue that impacts on everyday quality of life.