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Bad temper!

(68 Posts)
jenpax Sun 05-Jul-20 09:16:16

I have recently (last year) started the menopause (I think!) my main issue is that I am extremely irritable/intolerant and inclined to loose my rag at the slightest thing. I absolutely hate feeling this way and it’s adding to my lowered self esteem that has sadly come for me with getting a bit older.
Does anyone have any advice about the bad temper! Have you had the same issue or is it unusual? I don’t (luckily) get hot flushes but the bad temper is pretty debilitating, and to be honest is making me depressed.
I am not sure about HRT, as we have various family medical problems which made my GP cautious about recommending it when I spoke to him on the phone,but I would be willing to consider it if it might make my moods better!

Pebbles101 Sun 05-Jul-20 09:25:49

Jenpax It’s not unusual it’s like permanent pmt. without the m ! Lessened as further into menopause but still there. A friend has used patches and said they helped but I’ve used nothing .

lilyH Sun 05-Jul-20 09:42:11

My Daughter has used Evening Primrose with some success.

grandMattie Sun 05-Jul-20 09:45:23

My experience of menopause was being either murderous or suicidal, all the time. I too wasn't very sure about HRT, but was persuaded by my doctor. It was absolutely the best thing I ever did. I took it for about 5 years, then came off. A life saver in all senses.

annecordelia Sun 05-Jul-20 09:45:57

Me also. I had a dreadful row with my husband yesterday. I feel constantly irritated. I'm having bad hot flushes at night and am usually up between 2-5 am. I've always been overweight but my stomach is ballooning now. I can't have hrt as I've had b/c. I can't even stay in bed as I have a 10 year old. Sorry I have no wisdom on the subject, but no, you're not alone! All the best xx

NotSpaghetti Sun 05-Jul-20 09:46:22

Soya products have oestrogen mimicking properties - I bizarrely started to enjoy soya milk as a drink and could have drunk whole cartons of it! Lol.

Google it if you want "scientific" info. There I'd also an old thread here on Gransnet (possibly more than one) about the menopause which had lots of "real life" info.

pce612 Sun 05-Jul-20 09:49:33

Go and see your GP

Esspee Sun 05-Jul-20 09:54:34

Normally I get an oestrogen implant twice a year. When my oestrogen levels are low I get extremely assertive and will stand no nonsense.
When my last dose of HRT was due I was given £100 by my bank and £60 by my telecoms provider after I had cause to complain to them about their poor customer service. So it worked for me.

Incidentally HRT is life changing so in your situation I would thoroughly investigate the risks versus the positive health benefits.
Menopause is still a taboo subject. Nobody talks about the health problems other than the obvious hot flushes. Are you prepared for the osteoporosis? the vaginal atrophy? loss of libido? Alzheimer’s? prolapse? incontinence? Cardiac risk? Ageing? etc. due to lack of oestrogen?
I suggest you become well informed and request a referral to a menopause clinic to discuss your options.
Good luck.

Kwill Sun 05-Jul-20 09:57:52

I'm also like this. I have days when I get on so well with my husband and then others when I'm thinking I just want a divorce. I never used to be up and down all the time. I'm no help as I don't have any good suggestions just thought I'd say your not alone.

monk08 Sun 05-Jul-20 09:58:33

Couldn't have HRT but evening primrose worked well

jenpax Sun 05-Jul-20 09:59:31

Would love to see GP but it’s phone only for now and that’s when we had the conversation about risky HRT. We have a history of Breast cancer in my family.
I used to take Evening Primrose oil and will try it again, thanks for reminding me about it
Glad to hear I am not on my own though! It’s having a negative effect on family relationships as even when I try not to get cross apparently I sound snippy!

Sheshyshowshum Sun 05-Jul-20 10:00:02

I was the same, I was so annoyed at everything and everyone, which was so unlike me. I even had a go at my daughter for doing housework for me!!! I’m now on HRT patches and hope I can stay on them for years to come.

Granarchist Sun 05-Jul-20 10:01:20

see the brilliant article by Caitlin Moran in Saturday's Times. required reading.

jenpax Sun 05-Jul-20 10:03:35

I have read quite a bit about menopause but usually it just mentions mood swings rather than the constant rage I seem to suffer from! Everyone seems to annoy me at the moment 😁

Purplepixie Sun 05-Jul-20 10:05:56

I know what you mean as I also suffered from this. My moods were terrible but I did come through it. I never had HRT but I found plenty of exercise helped and some good friends around to talk to. I had just split with my partner and I was glad that I was on my own with my youngest son. Also I can honestly say that I never took it out on my son but I did cry a lot when he went to college. Try and have a word on the phone with a good GP and explain the whole situation. There are some very understand GPs out there. Take care and be kind to yourself and you will get there. There is much nicer.x

kizzykins Sun 05-Jul-20 10:06:31

Please consider HRT, even with existing medical conditions it can be taken. The problem is that a vast majority of doctors are simply not aware of the full facts on menopause. I would suggest looking at Louise Newson the menopause dr for a world of information before talking to your gp. Good luck.

Patsy429 Sun 05-Jul-20 10:06:36

I too had a horrendous menopause. One of the main things I remember is crying so much, particularly in work, which wasn't a good thing! I was grouchy, unreasonable, had hot flushes, night sweats - I don't think I slept more than a few hours for a whole year. Then the GP put me on HRT. My life was transformed and I stayed on it for about 3-4 years. It was the best thing since sliced bread. But you must listen to your own doctor and he/she may have good reason for not allowing you to take it. But I hope you can.

TwinLolly Sun 05-Jul-20 10:12:10

I usually let DH know that I'm feeling in a bad mood so he knows to brace himself for flames when they come! It helps him a bit and he's more supportive. I also take myself off for a short walk to cool my temper.

Unfortunately night sweats are the bane of my life and I'm having to sleep in another room so that I can have a bed to myself and it's easier to find a dry patch of sheet. Poor DH.

I've not started HRT yet but looking at it from all angles. I might give evening primrose oil a go. I've use it when I had mastalgia and it worked a treat so... it might be a good alternative for me to HRT and will try it for a while.

kizzykins Sun 05-Jul-20 10:13:22

Ladies, please look at these sites if your considering HRT.
The more educated we are about it the better.
if you have fb -

NambyPamby Sun 05-Jul-20 10:16:14

I dont think I'm there yet, but get very angry and irritable at different stages of cycle and getting worse.
Has anyone tried Cbd?
I keep meaning to but the drops taste disgusting!

Pammie1 Sun 05-Jul-20 10:16:57

My niece is having the exact same problem but cant use HRT because of her medical history. Husband and family had been treading on eggshells around her and she finally went to see her GP, who prescribed a very low dose of anti depressant (fluoxetine) and now - around three weeks later -she says she feels a lot better. She’s calmer and the uncontrollable mood swings have stopped. She doesn’t report any major side effects apart from feeling tired for the first couple of weeks whilst getting used to the tablets. Do see your GP and maybe explore this option. Hope things improve for you soon.

EmilyHarburn Sun 05-Jul-20 10:18:55

Take the HRT. In the meantime Kalms can help.

Esspee Sun 05-Jul-20 10:23:17

Those considering HRT should read the government best practice guidelines for GPs.
Google ”NICE guidelines on the menopause”

Unfortunately many doctors do not keep up to date on the subject and even worse some have very strong opinions which are completely contrary to modern research findings.

polnan Sun 05-Jul-20 10:25:23

I had this
Bad temper irritability
Few hot flushes
Got through it
Wishing you well

Esspee Sun 05-Jul-20 10:26:37

NambyPamby. Menopause symptoms are caused by lack of oestrogen. Logically, replacing the oestrogen is the natural solution.
Why would you want to take cannabis oil?