Gransnet forums

Watching porn: does it do real harm or is the reaction merely moral panic

(66 Posts)
whitewave Tue 05-Dec-17 08:01:31

Would the idea that you are sitting next to someone at work who continually watches porn on their work computer freak you out?

Does the idea that children are getting addicted to porn worry you.

What do you think might be the outcome might be from this?

My opinion is that it encourages objectification, and leaves out entirely the emotional aspect of relationships.

It gives a very skewed idea of the sexual act

MamaCaz Tue 05-Dec-17 08:19:26

Its potential effect on young people worries me. If boys (I am fairly sure they are the biggest 'consumers' of porn) are approaching their first sexual relationships using porn as their benchmark of what is normal, I feel quite sorry for their inexperienced partners.
Also, don't they say that increasingly extreme porn is needed order to get the same 'reaction', for want of a better word? Now that porn is so widely accessible, it's hard to see where this will end!

Iam64 Tue 05-Dec-17 08:25:51

Yes I'd be very unhappy about sitting next to someone at work who continually watches porn on their work computer. It would have been a sackable offence in my employment.

Yes the idea that children can so easily access porn and some are becoming addicted worries me a good deal. Children have always been curious about their bodies but rarely had direct access to the kind of pornography easily accessed on phones now.
WW you're right of course, pornography objectifies people, particularly women. Children are being exposed to sexual acts that are non consensual and dangerous with no filter.

My main worry is that as a society, we appear be sexualising very young children. It makes the importance of relationship and sex education throughout the child's developmental years even more necessary.

nightowl Tue 05-Dec-17 08:44:58

I’m not sure why anyone would be doing this at work? Even if it’s in their breaks I would have thought there would be workplace policies about the use of company IT equipment. Don’t most companies regularly monitor this?

I’m afraid if I was in this position I would report the person and I would expect it to be dealt with severely. Not only does porn objectify (and in many cases abuse) the participants but watching it in front of non-consenting others is in my view offensive and potentially intimidating.

Fennel Tue 05-Dec-17 09:25:48

Apart from the moral objections, isn't it a form of theft?
Whether in working hours or not.
Before the days of computers in offices someone I work with was using work phones to go on sex chatlines. The huge phone bills were easily traced to his extension. He wasn't sacked, but had to pay the bill.

whitewave Tue 05-Dec-17 09:33:37

I am particularly worried about the sexualisation of children from a very young age. I think childhood is being lost in a large percentage of our children, and as a result maturation of emotional skills will become extremely problematic.

A psychologist who deals primarily with children who are addicted to porn, said that many of the young teenage boys he interviews believe that porn is normal for the sex act, and books like 50 shades (although I haven’t read it so don’t know what it’s about) are how adults conduct their sex lives.

He went on to say that porn addiction tends to breed aggression towards the opposite sex amongst other stuff.

I suppose we have to begin to question about the level of porn on the internet, and whether access can be limited.

I wouldn’t have a clue how though.

silverlining48 Tue 05-Dec-17 09:59:15

Regarding objectification i watched the group little mix on the x factor as a 7 year old girl i know had told me she liked them. Apparently her friends have tickets to see their show. I despair and am shocked that responsible (?) parents would agree to allow their small girls to see this overtly sexualised display of half naked young women surrounded by young men( who all seem to keep their kit on). What message does this give to such young children. A very negative one as far as i can see.

dumdum Tue 05-Dec-17 09:59:50

I agree with what has been said before, but the other thing that bothers me is the actors that are used in them. How willing are they or are they being pressured by slavery/trafficking gangs to play a part in them? Also how many in these constrained financial times feel they are being forced into it to support family. Real indictment of our times.

holdingontometeeth Tue 05-Dec-17 10:07:32

I would object if someone at work was blatantly watching porn in full view of others, but otherwise I am not bothered.
Irrespective of my views, the subject seems to be causing panic in Downing Street amongst those extremely honest and open individuals who are elected to represent us.

annab275 Tue 05-Dec-17 10:09:16

I feel quite strongly about this - porn is not normal, and nothing to do with loving relationships. I would find it deeply embarrassing to see someone watching porn at work - maybe they have grown up with it and seen that it's ok and become desensitized. Interesting that there is a rise in abuse of women and children since porn has been so available. Tell someone. It's not ok. And I really don't care if anyone thinks I am a prude.

Iam64 Tue 05-Dec-17 10:10:32

dumdum, the issue of whether sex workers are exercising their right to earn money in the industry is something that's caused disagreement on gransnet previously.\
My experience of supporting women in the sex industry is that its a rare thing to meet a woman or girl who voluntarily and without the help of drugs and alcohol get involved in this way of earning cash.
As for children used in porn - I'l stop there before I explode.

foxie Tue 05-Dec-17 10:11:03

If anyone who thinks that watching porn is harmless is living in cloud cuckoo land. Above all it demeans women and that should NEVER be condoned

Esspee Tue 05-Dec-17 10:15:50

I can't help but judge people who watch porn and wouldn't hesitate to report anyone doing it on a work computer.
I have no idea how I would cope as a mum today trying to bring up children who can't help being exposed to the warped sexuality currently portrayed as "normal".

EmilyHarburn Tue 05-Dec-17 10:34:06

In the 1970's I was on a social work placement with male probation officers. I told them I would not stay in their company at lunch time if they were looking at and discussing page 3 of the Sun. As a student I then went out to eat my lunch elsewhere if this happened. They then took more care and accepted that in my presence they would close the paper.

At work now pornography would not be allowed. However in the NHS in the 1980's I worked at a hospital where the accounts manager had an office in an old Victorian building with copies of the the center fold pasted on the wall above the picture rail as a series which, if you raised your eyes and looked round the room, made it look as if a man and woman were engaged in the sex act. This would not be allowed today.

harrigran Tue 05-Dec-17 10:34:23

It is rather stupid to access porn on a work computer, IT keep tabs on personal use. I can recall a case where someone was dismissed and was escorted off the premises immediately.

Ronnie Tue 05-Dec-17 10:49:44

As they are actually there to work rather than watch porn it would bother me, it show, in my opinion a lack of judgement. Office politics are tricky to say the least, but yes I would like to think I would report it.

Ronnie Tue 05-Dec-17 10:55:04

I would hope for a good outcome i.e. a line manager having the nessacary conversation using company discipline rules to record offending behaviour. Altimatley job loss if it didn’t stop.

BlueBelle Tue 05-Dec-17 10:58:33

I d have been annoyed as hell if someone at work was watching anything, including Corrie, on their work computer
I m another who worries a lot about children and what they see, even if you are a responsible parent the stuff is there, in other kids houses, on phones at school, on music videos, music channels, it’s all around and unless you live on a desert island the kids will see it I think all you can do is talk to them about it in the same way you talk to them about drugs, drink, condoms and general safety Unfortunately there are going to be some Who are left to their own devices I am appalled when the grandkids switch on the music channel on tv or even listen to the lyrics in the car
The most sexualisation I got as a teen was listening to an eeny weeny itsy Bitsy yellow polka dot bikini 😂

sarahellenwhitney Tue 05-Dec-17 10:59:21

Having observed a court case in national newspapers that involved a 13 month old child and its porn addicted father, in my estimation, any human that finds porn necessary in their life is sick in the head.
We need to teach our children that porn is used by those who cannot or are incapable of leading 'normal' lives and respecting others
Porn like a drug, not can, BE equally as dangerous.

Jaycee5 Tue 05-Dec-17 11:43:10

I agree with dumdum. I think that there must be very little porn which is not abusive to the people involved.
It is definitely not appropriate to be watching it at work and should at least mean a formal warning of dismissal.
In the recent political case, the porn involved was made illegal 4 days later so it must have been quite severe. People really should not need to be told that this is not acceptable at work and if their judgment is that poor they should not be MPs.

vampirequeen Tue 05-Dec-17 11:51:40

I have been known to read and watch porn at times. It's a form of entertainment as long as you keep it in mind that it's not real. Relationships in the real world are not just based on sex and sex is more that the act. Women are not always willing and 'no' means 'no'. Not all men have muscular bodies and can't keep going for hours and hours.

That said, I worry about the affect it has on children and teenagers who haven't yet developed their relationship skills or, in some cases, haven't developed the ability to realise that what they see on line or tv isn't real life. When it was confined to videos and magazines it was much harder for anyone to come across accidently and was usually only accessed by adults who chose to access it. Now the internet makes it freely available and that's not right. The time is coming when we have to put the protection of our children and future generations above the entertainment of adults.

Even though I don't dislike porn, it's something that should be enjoyed in private. I would not be happy to have a work colleague watch it whilst I was nearby. It's not only inappropriate but it could be embarrassing and intimidating.

Horatia Tue 05-Dec-17 11:52:14

It's just plain bonkers.

aggie Tue 05-Dec-17 11:52:45

It is not always actors in porn videos , but films of actual children/women /men /people being attacked and degraded , so it is not harmless , whether on a work computer or at home .It degrades the participants and the viewer and is to be deplored in all its forms

vampirequeen Tue 05-Dec-17 11:57:39

I'd better say that I've never watched extreme porn in case anyone gets the wrong idea.

vampirequeen Tue 05-Dec-17 11:58:06

I don't feel degraded either.

Add your message here

To post you need a valid nickname and password. Log in if you are a returning member, or join for free.

If you have forgotten your nickname or your password, you can get a reminder.