Autistic grandchildren

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Yeah, I know a little bit about an autistic child. He is my uncle in relation. His mother is taking care of him all the time. He even doesn't know how to walk alone, eating foods or calling someone. What a miserable life is he leads?

I don’t look after a grandchild but I do look after children in various levels of the autistic spectrum.
If I were you I would learn Makaton and teach him a wonderful way to communicate.
It can be very hard work but incredibly rewarding to care for a child with any kind of LD. Make sure you are not taking on too much for your own health.

I would find out what techniques they are using at school/ nursery f you can. He may be using PECS to support his communication or using visual timetable etc, it's hard to advise without knowing what is happening elsewhere.

Just remember you cannot stereotype autism as it is a wide spectrum. Routine and familiarity are important. Change has to be carefully handled.

A visual timetable ( photos maybe) to show him what is happening next on a strip of card with velcro would help to keep him secure. Take off the picture as each activity is completed. This is a sort of PECS, as mentioned before. You will soon find out what he enjoys and stick to that. Have fun.

If he is in school does he already have an EHCP? If so his parents will have a copy & it should have some strategies / ideas for ways to engage him & to try to avoid him becoming distressed. You say he is non- verbal but does he communicate in other ways?

I doubt that at 5 he has an EHCP yet, but I could be wrong.
I'm glad that the op is now getting some constructive and helpful suggestions, as she posted this in July and had no responses.

We have children as young as 3 with an EHCP fanny. It depends how early theintervention is, what their needs are etc. Its really difficult to offer advice in scenario, it's quite important to work in partnership with parents school etc. By the way op you sound like a lovely grandmother.

Sorry terrible typos.

Thank you for that Galaxy, it's excellent that your family had intervention so early on
It makes things far more simple school wise.

Sorry I didnt mean me as a family fanny, I work with children with autism, I meant the children I work with

Oh, thank you, I do too! It's not my 'official' role, but I do teach quite a few.
I've also worked with many ASD children in primary.
My dad and late grandfather are on the spectrum too.

Yes we do. We adore her. Age 6. She is so beautiful and intelligent. Many autistic kids are computer nerds. She loves her, I pad, and has learnt a lot from it. Since being at school, she finally learnt the toilet routine, as she was pretty scared of loos. She appears very much like her sister, running , jumping, dancing, singing, yes singing,, she can sing but not ask for things or talk to you. She talks to you in parrot fashion. If you say something, she repeats it endlessly. Her school has brought her along in leaps and bounds. Just 8 kids in her class. We had to fight the county council to get her an education at that school. She is a joy, and we did wonder how things would go for her when she was younger. The nursery had extra funding, a staff member just for her, because she had a tendency to climb walls and fences and escape. She hates shoes, so its a battle to keep them on. But we would not swap her for anyone else. We were recommended to buy a book re, Autism. It costs 60 pounds. I dont have it. Her dad does. It tells you everything about the diagnosis

What do you specifically need help with? Every autistic child is different, even if there are some common traits that some have in common. Many you wouldn't even know are autistic on the surface. Just nurture their interests and encourage skills to build their weaknesses, like with any child. Autistic children often have great strengths too. If there are sensory issues, make sure you consider that. One thing I find most important to remember is that autistic children can often hear things very literally, so be very clear and avoid figurative language and sayings to avoid misunderstandings. It's hard to give general advice given the diversity in the autistic population. Is there a particular issue you are wanting ideas about?

Yes Ocean Mama, autistic often hear and see well. That's how we knew she could sing whole songs and nursery rhymes from a young age. We have hope that if she can sing she will eventually hold a conversation with us. All kids have talents, so the school and parents will give them every chance in life.

OceanMama I think op just wanted to chat.
She started this thread four months ago and didn't seem to have got a response. And then Mike revived the thread a few days ago.
I don't think that op is reading this now.

I have two grandsons with delayed and disordered speech. My daughter has been fighting for years, to get them effective speech therapy.
At last they are having intensive therapy, but at ages 10 and 8 it is going to be very difficult for them to change how they speak.
They are both on the autism spectrum and are delightful children. They have sensory problems, the 10 year old will only wear very soft trousers eg fleece lined joggers, very warm in the summer, he will wear shorts but isn't keen on having his legs exposed.

Autism is a very wide spectrum, and each child/person will probably need different types of help. Do remember, that most autistic children will take instructions very literally.

When I ran a children's gymnastic club, we would tell the children to 'sit down on the floor'. Some autistic members took this as meaning they had to keep moving around constants in order 'to sit down on ALL of the floor'.

Yes, as Minimoon says, often have high level of sensory and problems which makes it painful and difficult for them to fit in to ordinary conditions.

But....to make you feel better, let me tell you about my eldest g.child. Realised he was autistic when he was quite young. Highly intelligent, his social skills never really advanced much beyond those of the average 3-year old. Got through primary school, with a dedicated classroom assistant - some serious problems. In the playground he started to hit other children just before the end of break time. Then it was realised that, for some reason, he felt he HAD to be third in the line-up, so would punch his way into that position.

Secondary school was dreadful, even though a good SENCO department. By half way through his first year he had been suspended so many times, and was being kept away from other pupils even when in school. He started down the road towards clinical depression.

Yes, I said it is a Good Story - so his parents fought and got him a place in a special school for autistic children, even though this mean him having to go as a weekly border.

Left there with an excellent handful of good GCSE results - and - even more important, a raft of self-management techniques. Went to local FE college where he collected four A levels (B A A A), and a place at the best Uni for his chosen subject of Chemical studies. Even in these strange times, he has settled happily there into halls, and is enjoying his studies.

He has made friends, and is enjoying life and will, undoubtedly, get an excellent degree and be a useful and production member of society.
His social skills are still way behind his years, at 20 years old, he has still not ever had any form of sexual relationship or desires one.

There is some good advice here OP. The key I think is talking with your grandsons parents. They will know if he has an education plan and also what techniques school/nursery before hand find work well with him.
As others have said, autism is a very broad definition. My autistic grandson wasn't diagnosed until age 8 and then, it was his school encouraging mum to go to CAMHS that led to the diagnosis. He is very intelligent but inhibited and anxious socially. Within the family, we recognised he had 'areas of special interest' but we didn't link that to autism.
You sound a great gran - best of luck

Hi everyone I’d completely forgotten I’d put this on here we’ve been extremely busy with family etc and I remembered it the other day but couldn’t find it and I’ve just stumbled upon it. I’m so rubbish with the computer so I wasn’t ignoring everyone. I’m so grateful to see the messages you all posted.
So my GS is 7 at Christmas and such a lovely beautiful boy. He is on a full EHCP plan he’s in a special unit inside a mainstream school and is thriving in there. He was in the big class with a one to one but he’s coming on so much better now. He doesn’t ask for anything other than taking your hand but now he signs and says help please. They say he’s very clever it’s just bringing it out of him but we are all getting there, but he plays on his I pad which he loves and if he can play two or three I pads at a time he’s very happy lol. We as his grandparents take him exactly as he is. He comes to us after school and he’s just snuggled and wrapped up in cotton wool and wow does he love it. He’s the best. We all just love to see him happy and that’s all that matters isn’t it. When it comes to the toilet and doing a poo he needs a pull up on and to be naked but again it’s just his way and he saves it until he comes home from school. Also he still likes a dummy every now and again for comfort and his blanket but again after school so he knows it’s to be only at home. But we all just say it’s his way. We have a wonderful GD who’s 3 and very advanced in her speech so she often speaks for him. It’s really amusing. We feel very blessed with them both. Thankyou to you all and so sorry it’s been so long.

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