Embarrassing moments...

Loads of embarrassing moments - but by far the worst was being in a meeting full of men, me trying to look sophisticated and all knowing, proud of the fact that I held their attention, when I unexpectedly broke wind (very loudly). I wanted to die. Oooh still cringe at the memory

Sitting on the public loo in Ludlow when the automatic door began to open - the loo was on the only footpath from the busy carpark to the town so you can imagine how I felt!!!! Try grabbing a door and your knickers whilst trying to keep your dignity!

Oh my goodness mollie; are you actually a gran? Because if you are, I'd swear you wre mine, if she hadnt passed away some years ago - name and location both fit!!

Oh lionlilac, that was a tonic - I needed that right now!! Thank You

Probably my most worst moment was coming home from a Cheese and Wine evening in support of the local Nursery, with a group of friends. We were all experiencing the effects of rather too much cheese and when 2 of my friends posted sandwiches in the local post box and the remainder in my handbag I kinda went into hysterics. Now you have to picture me dressed up with the cashmere coat and patent high heels, leaning against a hedge and unfortunately losing control of my bladder and unable to do a thing about it but laugh! Talked about to this day

I bet it happens a lot, Jimswifein1964 (cor, that's a lot to remember!!!) ... the door wasn't on a timer like some but on a sensor and not only did I manage to open the door by moving but I managed to flush while sitting...that was an interesting experience!!!!

Years ago when I used to go on a sunbed at our local swimming pool.
There was me lying starkers....put my token in....top came down.....and automatic STOP switch failed and the top crashed down on top of me. My biggest worry was being electricuted.... but the embarrassment of the Swimming pool manager and an ex olympic athlete lifting the top off me !!!
I still get a cheeky grin if I see either of them even today!!!

Okay...here's mine. I had just started working as an assistant for a photographer. First task...ring the Dartmouth Naval College, speak to someone in command, ask whether or not my boss and his camera could be of service at an forthcoming important dance. Sadly, I became confused [tongue tied] and, after introducing myself, everso politely, continued - "Perhaps you already have someone to take photographs of your balls..." My boss almost exploded and I simply thanked the poor man on the end of the 'phone for his time. Oh dear!

Mollie; me&my son were looking at a website with the oddest toilets in the world (dont ask!). There is a great one with one way glass all the way round, so the person inside can see out onto the shopping area that its in, but people outside just see mirrored glass. How weird would it being having a wee in there???!!!

Where the heck was that one? I'll do my best to avoid it!!!! You have to ask: why???

Supernana - your slip up reminded me of the CV we got from a young woman fresh out of college years ago. Under 'Interests' she had typed 'marital arts' - clearly this was before spell-checkers!!! Well, I hope it was only a typo???? Made the boss roar with laughter but she didn't get short-listed oddly enough!

jimswife - if it's the one I'm thinking of, it's inverted one way glass so you can see out but people can't see in (except if you press your nose against the glass and frankly who would want to?

On the National Express from Stansted after a flight in from visiting my daughter in Germany - it was a very cold night and the cold goes straight to my bladder. I rushed for the bus and once mobile I decided to use the loo. The light was broken but I went in anyway thinking I'll be OK. Couldn't find the door lock, when I did I couldn't work it. I then started laughing thinking of the old song 'Oh dear what can the matter be 3 old ladies locked in the lavatory'. I used the light from my mobile and finally got the door open and fell through onto the aisle. The astounded looks of the other passengers made me laugh even more. I'm sure they thought I'd been dipping into my duty free

I did get locked in the lavatory- a dreadful old public lavatory at the seaside. I stood on the seat and looked over the the top of the cubicle, squeaking "Errmm, I can't get out...." After a workman had tried & failed to take the lock off, he climbed over the top and appeared beside me- very cosy!! He gave me a "bunk up" and I climbed out over the top myself. I'd been gone for ages but my husband hadn't missed me at all. He just said "Oh you ladies always take ages in the loo..."

My sister and I were in Avignon and about to leave the coach to get on the motor-rail. We stood up and lifted our bags and walked towards the door then I heard a loud gasp, my sister had drawstring capri pants on and they had come loose and descended round her ankles, having her hands full she was helpless to stop it happening and I was helpless with laughter.
If I keep reading these posts I am going to have to get some tena lady

Having read Magsie's comment I'm so thankful that I'm wearing the super-duper version of tena lady...

When I was pregnant with my second daughter I had to go to the GP for a check up, taking with me first daughter aged about 3.

Having stripped as requested and got on the couch for an internal examination daughter opened the door from the surgery, looked at the people sitting outside and said 'mummy took her clothes off for the man!' What was worse was the fact the couch was in full view of the wating patients!!!

BurgandyGran, that was so funny, I am still laughing!

Public loo with two young children in tow. Me changing tampon. Six-year-old at the top of her voice: "Why are you putting that stick in your bottom?" I've always been of the opinion that it's best to answer children's questions with the truth so when we got home I gave her a simple description of ovulation and periods. Glad it was a women's toilet.

My grandson stands in shops points out and remarks in a loud voice who has a willy and who doesn't

Got chatting to someone at work many years ago, and found out we had a mutual friend...oh, Mike so and so, I said..the world's most hen pecked husband. Yes, he replied..he's married to my sister . As for 'windy' moments..too many to mention, and they stick in the memory for far too long......When I was having my first baby I was told to go into a cubicle and take off my clothes; was given a dressing gown. Dr came in and I took off dressing gown, and I had nothing on, so everyone looked very embarrassed...if only they'd said, 'strip off to your bra and pants'. I knew he was going to check me out all over, so assumed everything meant everything. Still feel embarrassed about it to this day.

Back in the olden days, circa 1948, I was about to have crowded teeth extracted and was asked [prior to a heavy, smelly rubber mask being clamped over my face - "Are you wearing any tight clothing?" I was about seven at the time and although I muttered "No" I had second thoughts and hastily unbuckled my kilt. When a distant voice urged me to "wake up" I stumbled from the chair and my skirt fell around my ankles...I was wearing my navy blue school bloomers with - you've guessed it - a little white hanky in the knicker pocket. A flush crept all over me as I tried to remain aloof!

A few years ago I was in our church pantomime. A friend of ours was playing a chinese gentleman and the girl doing the makeup had given his face and oriental colour (yellow) emphasising his rather large nose. As we were waiting to go on stage I said "Oh H has given you a false nose, where did she get that from?" to which he replied "No, she hasn't, I've always had a large nose". It was then I wished the ground would open up and swallow me.

Talking of large noses - A friend related the following embarrassing moment - the new vicar to the parish had a very handsome if over-large nose. Friend had grandson with her when vicar came to tea. Friend took grandson to one side and stressed that he was to be polite and not stare at new vicar's nose. Grandson did his best to look elsewhere as friend took tray to the table and enquired..."Tell me , vicar, do you take sugar with your nose..." Oh dear [embarrassed]

Good one supernana.