Slut Walks

I think Yasmin Alibhai-Brown should read Libby Purves article in The Times.

I think I see what their main arguement is....women should not have to adapt the way they behave to protect themselves....A predatory rapist does not really care what his victims are wearing....etc etc. However the use of the term 'slut' although wonderfully headline grabbing is full of unpleasant imagery for many and will only put backs up. Yes in an ideal world women should not have to worry about being atttached no matter what they are doing or wearing but I am sure I'm not the only one who when young and inexperienced and just a bit tiddly sent out mixed messages that could have got me into an unpleasant situation.

I agree with HildaW, I see their main aim re men, but the word slut conjures up the wrong image entirely.

My argument might be simplistic but in an ideal world I would be able to leave my door unlocked without fear of coming back to find my house emptied...but this isn't an ideal world and while locks on the door don't prevent burglaries they go some way to act as a deterrent. I think it goes the same for a person's behaviour which includes the way they choose to dress...

I dislike the word 'slut' too. It means more than the way you dress, it goes to character, and if I were a young woman I would not have gone on the slut walk.

I agree it is best to watch what messages you are sending out by your behaviour and appearance, but whatever you look like, there is still no excuse for men to think they have any rights over you. So I agree with their sentiment, but disagree with the wording. 'Freedom Walk' would have been better, or 'Respect Walk'.

BUT, maybe I just don't understand the whole thing. When I was a young 'un I wore mini skirts and kinky boots, but I also learned judo, and felt confident I could sort out any unwanted attention!! In the end, a few well-chosen words were all I ever needed, and friends. I never went out alone.

Do policeman warn men not to go our after dark wearing a bespoke suit, silk shirt, and a Rolex watch, talking on an i-phone and carrying a bag that clearly contains a top-of-the-range laptop in case they are mugged? Just a thought.

Yes I guess they would absentgrana. they would say - don't go flashing that rolex around in that rather seedy area of town.
When I was young, I used to wear miniskirts (a policeman told me off once!) but I had absolutely no idea about male sexuality. Teenagers these days appear more savvy but I suspect there is a huge streak of naivite as well. They think they "look nice" and want "boys to fancy them" - but that is about as far as it goes methinks. I suppose it took me into my 40s to really understand the way men's minds work.
Men's attitudes are influenced not only by their hormones and plumbing but by pornography and other stuff that is on the fringes of porn.

But there are 2 things here - if you don't want a lot of unwelcome sexual attention then don't go out looking like you are looking for business. Specially if you are planning to get drunk which will render you less capable of dealing with unwanted attention.

But rape is a different case isn't it. It is a violent crime. There is a danger in conflating the two.

Read an article about young men and pornography, said exposed enough to it and they start to think it is normal for girls to look/dress that way. A young girl going out looking like a porn star is not a good look.

I do believe, in fact I know, that young people are a lot more savvy about sex nowadays than we were (I'm 66). All we knew was our parents' restrictive, Victorian attitudes were not our own, and we wanted some degree of freedom in all aspects of our lives, including whatever we chose to get up to with our boyfriends. I was well into my late teens, for example. when I realised oral sex didn't mean talking dirty! Honest!

As for the slut walk thingy - it seems like common sense not to dress like a whore when and where you might be vulnerable/

When I was young in my twenties living in London a car stopped in the street to ask directions (it was lunch time) within a couple of minutes I was pulled into the car. The car sped off with me wailing for help. One of the men put his hand across me and I dislocated his shoulder, they let me out of the car. I reported the incident to the police as another girl might no be so lucky. I was told if they caught the men (3 in the car)
I might be prosecuted for assault.

What was I wearing at the time a business suit (skirt, jacket & blouse)
and court shoes.

I isn't always about what a girl wears - it is what is in the minds of the predators.

Joan,
Sorry love, but I did really LOL at the oral sex bit.... thanks for making making me laugh this morning.

I know, Grandmacool, I look back and laugh at myself. But let's face it, today's kids just download porn to find out what it's all about.

When I was 14 the grown ups in the local cycling club where I was a member, got a 'blue film' to watch, or what we would call porn nowadays. I was determined to sneak in and watch it myself, but - no chance. All I wanted was to find out what it was all about without actually, well, doing anything.

The whole sex thing was a minefield to us. I remember when I was about 12 and studying French at school. We all had French penfriends arranged by the school. One day we had an oral exam, where we have to talk about our penfriends. The night before, I had to revise, so I was looking for the letters:

Dad: "What are you looking for, Joan?:
Me: Some French letters.
Dad, trying not to laugh: What do you want French letters for?
Me: I've got a French oral tomorrow...

It was all downhill from there, with me confused about what was so funny, and my big brothers and my Dad rolling about laughing, and my Mum hiding in the bathroom. They never explained the joke, and for a very long time I never dared use the word 'French' just in case.

I assume these women are using "slut" to mean a liberated independent female who has sex if and when she chooses.

They are not aware of the connotations of the word - a dirty, slovenly, ignorant, probably disease-ridden whore living in a hovel, who has no choice but to have sex with anyone with a strong enough stomach, because that is how she earns her bread.

And the origin of lipstick? It was worn by the lowest of Roman prostitutes to indicate that they were willing to perform oral sex.

Kids now are far more savvy than we were. A few years ago (as a teacher) I was doing the sex ed chat with my class of 11 yr-old boys. We'd watched the video and it was their chance to ask questions. We had the usual ones I'd heard before like 'How big is a sperm?' and ' How long does it take to do sex?' Then one very street-wise lad thought he'd embarrass me by asking ' Why do people need flavoured condoms?' It was NOT a naive query !!

They are hugely more savvy these days. Not necessarily in a good way!
I agree prostitution not funny or clever. I will never forgive Billie Piper for taking that role in which she made it look like a valid career choice!

My mother (quoting my grandmother) used to say 'Men's brains are in their trousers and would say if the skirt was too short or the neckline too low 'You'll play with the bull till you get it's horns up your rear'

Yes the kids know about sex but don't understand emotion.

They are manipulated by a corrupt pop industry and designers whose chief object is to make women look ugly

Interesting chat with our lovely school nurse this week. She was telling me she asks girls, who often come to her for contraceptive advice etc, whether they enjoyed sex. The answer generally is no, apparently. She is encouraging girl power - you don't have to keep doing it if you don't like it.
This is apparently a revelation.
I think we should keep her on don't you.
But there is huge pressure on girls of 13,14 , 15 to "do it"