skydiver
My son and his wife spend far more time with the other grandparents than they do with us. The grandchildren (5 and 7) talk about the other grandparents all the time when they are here - my daughter-in-law's parents are much younger than us and live nearer to them. I can't help feeling jealous. I don't feel we can have the same relationship. Have you any suggestions to help me stop feeling bad about this, or to improve the situation and feel less cut off and second rate?
Hi skydiver,
I do sympathise with you. There's quite often an imbalance between grandparents in a family and on occasion, it's hard not to feel jealous, but to be honest it's hardly avoidable, because daughters often relate more closely to their mothers than mothers-in-law, it's a fact of nature. But there's no harm in trying to be the nicest mother-in-law that ever lived, so that you're always made welcome.
Perhaps I can help you if I illustrate a situation that exists in my own, quite large, family. I have four sons, therefor I have four daughters-in-law, therefore I'm a mother-in-law to all these women. In one of them, the parents of my daughter-in-law live in America, and they see their grandchildren no more than four times a year. they are an example to all grandparents in this situation. They never begrudge me my time with their grandchildren and show their gratitude that I'm on hand for their daughter whenever she needs me. They show absolutely no jealousy about my contact with the family, and so, by their kind actions, they're giving us the freedom and space to behave well.
I try to remember their generosity all the time.
