I lost my mother nearly two years ago and several years prior to her death she and I sat down one day and sorted out exactly what hymns, readings etc that she wanted. Mum was practising Catholic (as I am) and her religion was very important to her.
Obviously she didn't know exactly when she was going to die and, let's face it, I could have been run over by a bus and killed sometime prior to Mum's death.
Had that happened my brothers would have organised Mum's funeral. Neither of my brothers are religious (in fact one is very anti!) and sadly both were more intent when Mum was in her last months (and indeed when she finally died) to 'save' her money.
In the months prior to her death I was told in no uncertain terms by both brothers that I should not allow Mum to 'waste her money' on having her nails manicured once a month by a 'nails at home' lady! Mum was always very particular about keeping her nails neatly trimmed and polished and it was hard for her when she could no longer manage them herself and obviously the care staff did not have the time to really pamper her in that way. The monthly manicure was a treat she loved and she was spending HER money - the princely sum of £17 a month!!!
A full Catholic Funeral consists of the coffin coming into Church overnight, the night before the funeral, a Requiem Mass and committal followed by burial or cremation. Obviously this does cost but we respect the dead body and it was important to Mum to have a proper Catholic funeral.
Her wishes, complete with the readings, hymns etc were included in her will but if she hadn't done that, and I had pre-deceased her, what sort of funeral would my brothers have arranged? Yes, the cheapest possible because, of course, whatever money left was to go to them.
I firmly believe that it depends upon each individual to decide whether this action is right for them or not. In my Mum's case it was great - there was aggro from my brothers over other things but they could not argue over that and Mum got the religious funeral that she wanted.
Forward planning made my job so much easier, as had she not done so, I dread to imagine what would have happened with my brothers - two against one!
My children know that I have sorted my funeral and all three have said that it's great as they know how important it is to me but admit they wouldn't know what readings or hymns were special to me. If talked about sensibly there is no need for it to be morbid or gruesome and in Mum's case she knew all was going to be fine when the time came. She made it easier for me bless her!