To dye for?

So far I've never dyed my hair nor ever wanted to. My feeling is that if men can look distinguished going grey so can women. Don't know if I'm kidding myself but that's the plan anyway! My maternal grandmother went white when she was forty – as a child I couldn't believe she'd ever had black hair! – and I thought she looked wonderful. When I was about nine years old I told her I wanted my hair to be like hers when I was old. I still do. A while ago I posted on another thread about how lovely I thought the older models in the "Toast" catalogue look with their (natural one presumes!) grey hair.

That said, if you like dying your hair and wearing make-up, then do it. If it bores you to death, don't. Simple.

Madpotter Perhaps if every person with naturally grey or white hair were to leave it undyed to show its natural colour, it would be very obvious that there are more grey/white heads about than blondes, brunettes and redheads, and we are not sitting in rocking chairs on the porch knitting, we are out there battling with bureaucracy and indifferent officials and shop assistants. That might show the politicians etc that we are a force worth taking into account!

As it is, many of us look younger than we really are, so the image of "old people" being just a few snowballs here and there who can be conveniently ignored or patronised continues.

Can't see it happening though.

No, I can't see it happening either, elegran. When I sit on a bus or a train, I'm often the only female who doesn't have dyed hair, including all the Young Things. Part of what puts me off hair dying is that it's so obvious. As you all know on GN, I prefer to be subtle!

I'd been an assisted blonde for years and years and then, when I lost all my hair after chemo, it came back, as it does, three shades of grey. It didn't feel like me. So, when enough time had elapsed, I went back to having it coloured. But it's very subtle, and I love it. As you say, it depends how you feel. But at least I know how I look with grey hair, and that I'm not ready yet!

I too am a suicide blonde (dyed by my own hands).
I am not ready to let my own colour show through as it is not a `pure` shade of grey yet, in fact its a horrible mess so until it improves out will come the hair dye once a month

I am 57 and had shoulder length mid brown hair for most of my adult life. Over the years I have used various red/copper rinses to brighten the colour.

A few years ago I was advised by my hairdresser that I really needed to dye my white roots. I went along with this but always felt that the block colour drained my face of colour and made me look rather hard. Also I found that my scalp was often itchy after my hair had been coloured and that scaly patches were developing on my forehead. It was a time consuming expensive process and the mindless hairdresser chat drove me nuts!

I last had my hair dyed in November 2010 I have quite a lot of silver white hair at the front and it looks really attractive in fact several people have commented on how much it suits me. The rest of my hair is speckled with white. I have absolutely no intentions of ever dying my hair again.

I have seen several older models in magazines and if they can do it then so can I !

I have been told that I don't look my age, I certainly don't feel or act it and although some people can be patronising I soon put them in their place!

"Am I foolishly clinging on to my lost youth or more positively presenting myself as the person I want to be? Is dyeing my hair any worse than using makeup?"

Only you know the answer to the first bit.

How can it be any different to wearing makeup?

Suit yourself.

Obviously.

I have been salt and pepper since I was 38 so I do use dye. I have more grey than my Mum but I am not ready to give it up yet. I am a few shades lighter now than my natural hair colour, my hairdresser has started to lighten the base colour.

I love to see others with natural grey hair but not sure it my hair would look so good.

My hair just goes greasy-mousy if I don't get it highlighted. I would love to have silver or white hair but no women in my family had such a colour as they grew older, so I carry on having highlights every couple of months.

When I was in hospital for a few months several years ago, people kept commenting on how worn out I looked and a lot of that was down to my hair going back to ts natural non-colour. As soon as I had it done, they all said I looked so well - all down to the highlights!

Mine is white now, though it's sort of greyish at the back! The white strands from the top fall across the greyish bit and it looks quite interesting, really! I'm very happy with it. I used to be mid-brown when I was younger, and kept dyeing it as it went grey in my thirties. Then I dyed it 'suicide blonde' and wore it spiked for a long while. I now leave it to do it's own thing, and wear it in a layered bob to just below my chin, visiting the hairdresser for a trim only when I really have to! My friend says she would pay to get hers done my colour! Like Sook, the 'hairdresser chat' drives me a bit mad!

I am very lucky in that I do not have a single grey hair! - dark brown as it always has been. My Mum was well into her 70s before hers started to go grey and likewise her Mum before her. So the genes have given me something good, as well as all the bad things (piles, varicose veins, IBS....etc.)! - and I save money!

On the subject of dyed hair, as an impartial observer, I always think that highlights look better than all-over dyed, which always has this rather stiff/artificial appearance around the hairline, especially if dyed a dark colour. Highlights are so much more flattering I think.

Good luck with whatever you choose.

PS I hate being in the hands of hairdressers - why do they always do what they want and not what you want? It is a big problem for me as I am very short-sighted and once my glasses are off they could be doing anything - it is often a shock when I put them back on!

I'm now naturally silver, madpotter, and am very happy with it. I keep it shoulder length and feel it's simply me. I've grown into it. It took a couple of years of pepper & salt to get to how it is today - and I am so pleased I didn't start colouring it.
Just do what makes you happy.
All the members of my walking group dye their hair, although I am one of the younger ones and have been gently teased about this.
I wear lip gloss and a bit of mascara and that's me done. Low cost, low maintenance and low angst.

I don't dye my hair or ever intend to. At the moment it's quite nice, fair streaked with silvery grey but if that changes I still don't care. As for looking younger than one's years, well if I managed, with the aid of makeup and hair colour, to look five years younger I'd just look 63 instead of 68 and what's the point in that?

Do you think it is easier for blondes to go gracefully whereas for a brunette the change is so drastic.

I always thought that if I went properly white then I could indulge in pink streaks. But so far it has gone faded at the front while remaining dark mouse at the back. So i have it highlighted which takes far too long, yawn, yawn, must make and appointment... not ready for pink highlights yet.
Also the colour white looks good with some complexions and not with others. Depends on your skin tone.
I put makeup on etc to make myself look healthier, less washed out and less faded when I look in the mirror. I don't really think it does make people look younger - older sometimes but not younger. So everyday sunshine moisturiser to get a light tan to match the rest of me, blusher, eyebrow pencil, lipstick. Often mascara and eyeliner as well. Occasionally light foundation.
Obviously it is a matter of choice and isn't that what feminism was partly about - and it is partly to do with your personality and whether you want to be noticed or fade into the background. There are pros and cons to both options.

Oh, you really must catch the webchat on the 11th Mishap. They are going to tell us how to eat our way out of getting old.

Isn't that nice.

(do not mention the words 'Granny' and' sucking eggs')

Depends how you define fading into the background too. I never wear make-up and never dye my hair but I also never fade into the background. It's probably the piercing, evil eyes that save me from that. Mwah-ha-ha-haaar! [evil grin]

I decided when I moved to France after retirement that my appearance was not important to me, as I never socialise and the sheep don't seem to care.
It did take a couple of years for the dyed blonde hair to grow out but now I am completely white and visit a hairdresser about twice a year, just for a trim.
I don't use make-up - in fact, I have used nothing but cold water on my face for about ten years, other than a bit of moisturiser to combat the wind on my walks.
I have saved a great deal of time and money by growing old naturally and I agree that looking 61 instead of 71 would add nothing to my quality of life.

My sister, who is 75, dyes her hair blondish, but always has white roots. She wear false nails which she paints bright red, and scarlet lipstick. She won't answer the door without her foundation, blusher, lipstick, mascara, eye shadow and eye liner in place. To me, she often looks clownish, but it makes her feel more confident, so of course I just say how good she is looking. She swears she does it for herself, but I can't help wondering if she would bother if she were on a desert island! It takes me about five minutes to shower, brush my hair and teeth and get dressed - if I am taking her out I have to give her at least an hour to get ready. I just read or do sudoku whilst I wait for her.

If wearing make-up and colouring your hair makes you feel good, go for it.
If not, don't!

I have highlights as my natural colour is mouse with grey mouse - not attractive! I have blonde highlights which mingle with the grey and mouse. I, too, have been told that I don't look my age but I think that is the fat filling out the wrinkles so they don't show so much.

Suspect that your strong personality makes sure of that bagitha. That is meant as a compliment. But some of us, personality or not, can easily look pale and washed out

Oh I'm sure I do look pale and washed out quite often (my dad used to call me 'Paleface' and my mum used to call me 'pasty') but, like greatnan, I just don't care. I'm not convinced that the effort, expense and time involved in putting on make-up or dying my hair would make enough difference for it to be worthwhile. I've always been told I look younger than I am so I guess that helps with confidence, even if I don't always believe them. But, yes, the great thing about the progress that feminism has made is that we do have the choice and can do what suits our fancy without it being wrong whatever that fancy is. In some areas there is still a long way to go, but in that one, I think we've arrived – especially as more and more men have started using "beauty products" as well. Equality isn't about having or doing the same things but about having choices.

I think white hair is lovely, but grey not so good. Sadly I have the latter so have it highlighted regularly, which looks quite natural. I do put make-up on (when I go out especially) as I feel I look better and smarter with it, and a bit washed out without. I have cousins who are sisters, one who always takes time with her appearance and one who wears no make-up and doesn't worry, and I know which one I would rather look like; so I try hard.

My last (as in previous) hairdresser (unfortunately no longer with us) encouraged me to 'grow old gracefully by going grey gracefully'! So I am doing just that! A bit pepper and salt, with streaks of grey and not too bad overall. I understand that one's skin tone changes as one gets older so natural hair colour suits the skin tone. This may well be the case but I am a firm beliver in whatever makes you happy, so colour and make-up if you will and do not if you prefer!

Well, I have highlights and never go out without my slap on! My hair used to be auburn, but now is white streaked at the front and sludge at the back, and my gd aged 9, said last week to her dad, "have you seen nana's face when she gets up in the morning? It's scary!" :-)

I don't want to scare the horses.......