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Another Birthday Present Dilema

(17 Posts)
Granb Fri 18-May-12 08:13:14

My DDIL is 30 soon. Less than 5 months since baby DDGS died. Don't believe that she wants to 'celebrate' as such but do want to buy her gift. I am at a complete loss for ideas as most of the time when I think of her (and DS), I just want to weep.

One thing that had thought of was some nice garden box cushions that could if she wanted be transported to cemetery (no benches by DDGS' grave so if you want to stay for any period need to sit on ground!) - could then also add other garden stuff.

As had so many beautiful suggestions when asking about tree in memory of DGS, thought you kind Gnetters would be able to come up with something!

Bags Fri 18-May-12 08:21:08

No ideas just yet, Granb, but I will think about it. Meanwhile, sending a big hug. x

I bought myself a very special Caithness glass paperweight after one of my miscarriages. Somehow it helped.

Gagagran Fri 18-May-12 08:39:55

How about a silver bangle with DDGS's name and dates engraved inside?

kittylester Fri 18-May-12 09:08:44

What a dilemma for you. Would she appreciate a spa treatment/massage? Along the same lines as your suggestion of cushions, we have found those garden seats that fit in a bag in the boot of a car really useful and fairly comfy too. We use them as extra seats in the garden when we have lots of visitors. Another idea might be a framed photo of your grandson. A dreadful time for you all at the moment. flowers

whenim64 Fri 18-May-12 09:16:57

Hi Granb. I have two 30 year old daughters and they both have Pandora braclets containing meaningful charms. They asked relatives and friends to please not buy them charms for birthdays and Christmas, as they wanted to keep these bracelets for significant and very personal memories. You can get charms that can be personalised with engravings, or even just add the little links to signify a period of time or a number of days that are personal to the wearer. Thinking of you.flowers

nelliedeane Fri 18-May-12 15:15:32

when DS and Kerry married last October they had a beautiful candle inscribed with a message for my daughter about being missed at the wedding, we have always let balloons off with messages on them on anniversaries,birthdays,but now we light the candle for a few minutes to reflect on the empty space to acknowledge it as well xxxxthinking of you all flowers

glassortwo Fri 18-May-12 15:56:35

Granb I think I would go for something for her.... I know the baby will never be out of her thoughts, but I think her birthday should be celebrated without tying it to the baby, she has things every day reminding her of her loss...........sorry if you think that is uncaring of me. flowers

Annobel Fri 18-May-12 16:23:16

I'm with glass on this. I would make her feel cherished for her own sake. I think someone else suggested a spa day. How do you think she would like that?

Mishap Fri 18-May-12 16:38:44

I do agree - maybe something to plant in her garden (if she has one) - she could then choose whether she saw this as a memorial or not, but it would be a gift for her.

soop Fri 18-May-12 16:41:53

Granb...perhaps a beautifully bound book of poetry...smile

Jacey Fri 18-May-12 18:08:31

I, also, agree with Glassortwo ...it should be something just for her ...no links to her/others loss. flowers

goldengirl Fri 18-May-12 21:33:32

I agree with a very nice poetry book - or perhaps an art book if she is interested in a particular aspect of art. If she enjoys art / craft how about something along those lines.

nanaej Fri 18-May-12 22:30:03

You can get beautiful hand made books to keep as journals / photo albums/ water colours & sketch books (if she does this). it would be a personal gift but she could choose to fill it with memories of her child if she chose to. try looking up stellas handmade books. I have bought these as special gifts and they have been well recieved. smile

Hunt Sat 19-May-12 09:59:15

If you like the idea of a book of poems, the collection ''Poems to last a lifetime'' by Daisy Goodwin is a suggestion. It has the most beautiful photos to accompany the poems,too.

ninathenana Sat 19-May-12 10:55:35

Would she like tickets for the theatre ??
Would be a couple of hours of escapism. You can buy vouchers for this in W. H. Smith and other places.

Granb Wed 23-May-12 07:33:26

Thank you so much for your suggestions. Have been feeling so out of my depth with the emotions of it all. I am so aware that the one thing that she truly wants (as do all of us), she is unable to have and nothing else is really any kind of consolation at this point in time.

DDS took her away to posh spa hotel for weekend. DOH and I decided on piece of jewellery for birthday and will get bangle or something else for xmas with engraving on but will discuss this with both DDIL and DDS first. Their wedding anniversary is soon too (so hard because they were joyously expecting on the last one!) so going to make some garden floor cushions and picnic blanket for them both as a gift for that.

Hunt Thu 24-May-12 09:31:41

Thank you for returning and telling us what you have decided. Do hope all goes well.