Mum was mystified by the look of confusion on the young assistant's face when she went into Boots and asked for a tube of "semen" for her hair.
We were talking about the difficulties of arranging good childcare one day when mum said "It's all right for people with plenty of money - they can just put their children into a quiche."
We visited an old friend of my dad's some years ago. He was a well-read, intellectual man and he was talking about his love of Beckett and, in particular, the play "Waiting for Godot". "Oh", Mum pipes up, "I like that. We always watch it, don't we?" There was a silence as we all sat and thought about this for a moment. I stifled a giggle when I realised that she was talking about the TV comedy "Waiting for God".
Husband - is he cheating?
Decorations - are yours up yet?
Desserts - a trifling issue