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Samantha has got to pop out now...........

(40 Posts)
Anne58 Wed 25-Sep-13 15:06:56

Samantha tells me she has to nip out now as she's been invited to an exclusive club to meet a group of aristocrats. She's very excited to see where all the big knobs hang out. She says at such a posh function she and the other girls will probably end up trying to speak with plums in their mouths.

Ana Wed 25-Sep-13 15:07:54


Anne58 Wed 25-Sep-13 15:09:13

Samantha tells me she needs to leave now as she's been nursing two elderly gentlemen who have been suffering from bed sores for some time. She says they like her to go in regularly to inspect their old chaps for any sign of improvement, and last week she had both of them up and out and waving through the window.

tanith Wed 25-Sep-13 15:09:21


Ana Wed 25-Sep-13 15:10:31

Oh, I see (I think!). It's a double entendre thread...

Anne58 Wed 25-Sep-13 15:11:00

Samantha is something of a keen horse woman, and she tells me that she's off to see a trainer who's offered her the chance of a couple of races he wants her to contest. She's quite excited, as he's prepared to drop his jockeys to enter her at Newmarket.

Anne58 Wed 25-Sep-13 15:11:37

You are obviously not a fan of "I'm sorry I haven't a clue!"

feetlebaum Wed 25-Sep-13 15:45:32

Oh memories! Humph reading this things out, so deadpan... hilarious!

shysal Wed 25-Sep-13 15:57:39

Samantha always used to sit on Humph's right hand throughout the show!

Elegran Wed 25-Sep-13 16:06:30

Wasn't that a bit uncomfortable for her? And he would not have been able to write any notes.

Perhaps it was better than leaving it free.

annodomini Wed 25-Sep-13 16:10:10

phoenix, why are you not a scriptwriter?

MrsM Wed 25-Sep-13 16:31:44

Samantha has a new boyfiriend. He's an antique dealer. She loves to sit beside him and watch as he cleans the dust and wax off.

I went to see a recording of ISIHAC whilst Humph was still in the chair. Sadly Samantha was not there for that edition so we had to be content with Sven instead

Anne58 Wed 25-Sep-13 16:36:09

Oh anno how I would love to claim credit for those quotes, but alas they were not penned by me!

Anne58 Wed 25-Sep-13 16:39:02

Samantha has to nip out to the House of Lords with her constituency friend. He's looking for support for his MP who's facing expulsion, and Samantha says it's important to have a good Peer if his Member's likely to be out...

Anne58 Wed 25-Sep-13 16:43:39

Samantha has just started keeping bees and already has three dozen or so. She says she's got an expert handler coming round to give a demonstration - he'll carefully take out her 38 bees and soon have them flying round his head...

POGS Wed 25-Sep-13 16:46:59

Samantha went into the hen house and was frightened by the big c--k

Anne58 Wed 25-Sep-13 16:48:12

Incidentally, Samantha tells me she's been away making a road safety film for the Department of Transport...she says she's had some interesting experiences with sleeping policemen, not to mention humps in residential side streets

annodomini Wed 25-Sep-13 16:48:29

My DS and DiL went to a recording - they told me that a great deal of editing had to be done to make it suitable for broadcasting before the watershed!

Anne58 Wed 25-Sep-13 17:08:48


dahlia Wed 25-Sep-13 19:49:12

Thank you so much. Grey and gloomy here in Cornwall, the fog hasn't lifted for four days (or not for long) so it was great to have a laugh. We love "Sorry I haven't a clue", and have a few CD'S to keep us amused on long car journeys. Not the same since Humph went to blow his trombone among the heavenly host, he apparently failed to get the double entendres during the show, which made his deadpan delivery even more delicious! wine

Anne58 Wed 25-Sep-13 20:00:31

As usual, Samantha has been down in the gramophone library researching the teams' records, aided and abetted by the two kindly old archivists, Curly Smith and Chalky White. Samantha was saying she's been helping them rearrange their work rosters recently. Chalky was getting a bit worried that Samantha might reduce his overtime shift, but cheered up when instead he saw her shorten Curly's

Deedaa Wed 25-Sep-13 21:05:57

I think I like the 38 bees best grin I was lucky enough to meet Humph after a concert about 15 years ago - lovely man!

penguinpaperback Wed 25-Sep-13 21:16:04

Wot no letters from Mrs Trellis? grin
Does anyone remember Humph reading from Paul Daniels autobiography? Debbie McGhee's 'do not disturb' sleep mask with 'disturb' written elsewhere? blush but it was very grin
It's just not the same without Humph.

shysal Thu 26-Sep-13 09:43:42

I think Jack Dee is the best substitute they could have found though.
I used to find Mornington Crescent incomprehensible until I realized that was the whole idea! I saw their stage show at the theatre a few years ago, towards the end of Humph's life. I have never laughed so much on a night out. They had the audience playing on kazoos which were provided, and a hilarious sat nav was included. Long may the programme continue!

gracesmum Thu 26-Sep-13 10:04:01

At the end of (the real) Mornington Crescent there is a pub called The Lyttleton Arms. Which was first I wonder?