Gransnet forums

Other subjects

Do you think they were right to ban him?

(132 Posts)
jinglbellsfrocks Fri 09-May-14 09:44:32

why would they?

I appreciate it's quite unusual (!) but he wasn't doing any harm to anyone. confused

thatbags Fri 09-May-14 09:47:58

No, they are not right to ban him. There's no reason why he shouldn't dress up if he wants to and, as you say, it doesn't do anyone any harm. The term "daft buggers" has sprung into my mind unbidden.

MiniMouse Fri 09-May-14 09:51:17

He has how many dresses? 100 ??!! shock That's more than I've had in my lifetime!

baubles Fri 09-May-14 09:52:58

I suspect there are lots of little boys who like to dress up in sparkly outfits along with their sisters, well done to his mum for not telling him he couldn't wear them out of the house.

I've seen mothers not allowing their sons to play with dolls.

Of course they were wrong to ban him.

Nonu Fri 09-May-14 10:17:00

I don"t it a good idea for him to wear dresses in public, would maybe lay him open to teasing from the other children.

As well all know children CAN be quite cruel,

IMO

Mishap Fri 09-May-14 10:35:51

100 dresses!!??

It is of course nonsense - he can wear what he likes if it is a non-uniform establishment. I doubt the other children are remotely interested.

I cannot understand why a catholic organisation (whose elders wear frocks) can complain about this.

I admire his parents for being casual about it - but not for supplying him with 100 dresses!!!!

Soutra Fri 09-May-14 10:42:35

I think high heels are totally unsuitable for a five year old ( why is he not in school BTW) I was 14 before I was allowed for "best" and also unsuitable for play.

Soutra Fri 09-May-14 10:45:29

Ah "after school club"? Would have expected him to be in school uniform then. Don't children look so sweet in their tiny uniforms? Still looks like a non-story to me.

Ana Fri 09-May-14 10:46:36

He is in school. It's the after-school playgroup that's won't have him back until he wears 'gender-appropriate' clothes. Agree about the shoes.

Ana Fri 09-May-14 10:47:11

Crossed posts, Soutra.

ninathenana Fri 09-May-14 11:02:02

I agree with all that's been said.

Nonu Fri 09-May-14 11:07:44

SOUTRA 14 , you were lucky, I wasn"t allowed heels till I was 18.

smile

annsixty Fri 09-May-14 11:09:15

He should stick to wearing his dresses at home.He will always be remembered by the other children as the boy who wore dresses and will be teased and bullied by them later on.Children can be very cruel.

Tegan Fri 09-May-14 11:10:46

Can't help but feel that this is a case of a mum who wanted a girl and then had a boy who turned out to be pretty and is not averse to now getting a bit of 'celebrity' type fame [apologies to her if I'm wrong]. Also reckon that the child wouldn't be able to take part in any of the activities dressed like that. Bit concerned for the child but not necessarily because of the ban.

Mishap Fri 09-May-14 11:17:55

I guess this child will work out that it's hard to play some of the games he wants in the frock and gradually drop off wearing it - if people have the good sense to take no notice and not draw attention to it. If he gets teased he will choose to stop it of his own accord. This fuss just magnifies a non-situation into something of importance - which it is not.

There should be no such thing as "gender-specific" clothes. Girls dress as boys (according to tradition) all the time and no-one bats an eyelid. I have forgotten when I last wore a skirt - and I wear jackets all the time.

High heels are a nonsense for anyone as far as I am concerned, but most children want to try them out. I can remember my (naked!) 5 year old GS trotting about in some high heels from his sister's dressing up kit - and very fetching he looked too! Fell over of course!

thatbags Fri 09-May-14 11:26:35

The school should use this incident to teach children not to be cruel to those who are (or seem) different from the "norm". Sounds like an ideal scenario that they should use to their advantage instead of making a fuss. Daft buggers springs to mind again!!

thatbags Fri 09-May-14 11:29:06

There are photographs of my dad wearing a dress as a toddler. Apparently that was common in the late twenties/early thirties before boys were potty confident. That's why there was talk of "breeching" them when they were deemed old enough for trousers.

thatbags Fri 09-May-14 11:30:10

This episode is a classic lesson in How to Teach Prejudices when you think about it.

baubles Fri 09-May-14 11:31:03

Taking the story on face value only as I've no idea what lies behind the headline, I think a ban is OTT.

No doubt the child would grow out of it in time but children that age are very accepting, I can't see teasing by five year olds being an issue. It may be different if he is mixing with older children.

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 09-May-14 11:46:37

they could do worse than reading the kids this book

Soutra Fri 09-May-14 11:54:29

So what is he wearing to school? Is he going home to change? It just all sounds too silly to me. Mum could also dispense with the after school club and just let him wander round Next grin

sunseeker Fri 09-May-14 12:58:32

Whilst I agree with what has been said before I do have some concerns for when he is older - he will be known as the boy who wears dresses and could be bullied, I agree it could be an opportunity to teach that some people can be different but that is OK.

annsixty Fri 09-May-14 12:59:52

My GD is different from"the norm" and since she has been at school her teachers have tried to teach the other children to be kind and not tease her or stare and comment on her appearance.I can assure you that 10 years and three different schools later this has, more often than not, not been the case. She has been the subject of much taunting.Children who do not want to be kind never will be however much they are taught.

thatbags Fri 09-May-14 13:16:15

I'm sorry your GD has had unhappy experiences, annsixty. The majority of children I know and have known are tolerant and kind-hearted and they do understand what their teachers (and, hopefully, their parents) teach them about not taunting others.

GillT57 Fri 09-May-14 13:21:20

Although the playgroup have come out of this badly, I cant help having a sneaking suspicion that his Mum is making something out of this, even if he does like to wear frocks, why does he have 100 of them? We had a little boy at my children's school who used to come to meet his big sister wearing a Snow White outfit ( he was pre-school) and nobody batted an eyelid. Bit uncomfortable with the idea of high heels and frocks to be honest, all that sparkling tackiness is a bit too gender specific for my taste, is this really how his Mum thinks girls dress? Dont like these kind of clothes on girls or boys.