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Do you think they were right to ban him?

(133 Posts)
jinglbellsfrocks Fri 09-May-14 09:44:32

why would they?

I appreciate it's quite unusual (!) but he wasn't doing any harm to anyone. confused

annsixty Fri 09-May-14 13:26:55

Thank you thatbags sadly my GD has not been so lucky with schoolmates and is currently a very troubled teenager in spite of all our efforts to boost her self confidence and selfworth. After a lot of pushing on our part we hope she is going to get counselling very soon.

Ana Fri 09-May-14 13:29:41

He has older sisters. I'm wondering whether there's a bit more to it than what his Mum says, perhaps he behaves like a bit of a spoilt brat mini-diva when he hits the playgroup dressed in his finery!

granjura Fri 09-May-14 13:35:47

Sorry, but I really 'blame' mum and possibly older sisters who have encouraged this. The poor kid is the one who suffers in the end.

Aka Fri 09-May-14 13:44:16

There's a lot of taunting goes on I agree Ann60 often hidden from adults until a situation arises. The phrase 'children can be cruel' is true. Not all of course but it only takes a few.,

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 09-May-14 14:04:57

I agree Bags. I think children are getting kinder. Perhaps a result of the anti-bullying teaching that has been in place for a while now?

petallus Fri 09-May-14 14:27:03

I think of myself as fairly liberal and do not object at all to someone else's little boy wearing dresses and high heels.

However, I have a GS about the same age and I definitely would not be happy for him to go to school dressed in a similar manner.

Definitely not!

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 09-May-14 14:30:16

Yes, but the thing is, Your little GS probably wouldn't want to. This child obviously does.

So, it's different.

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 09-May-14 14:35:15

Yes. You sort of said that did n't you Petallus. Soz smile

Nonu Fri 09-May-14 14:39:45

I would hate my DG/S going to school in frocks & high-heels .

:-) :-)

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 09-May-14 14:43:57

But if he was so inclined, I think I might be proud of my daughter for backing him. Bearing in mind that it is only an after school club.

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 09-May-14 14:50:37

It's a sad thing that we have come so far from the days when a boy's penknife was an innocent possession. sad

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 09-May-14 14:51:12

Wrong thread hmm

Purpledaffodil Sun 11-May-14 13:55:49

As the grandmother of two small boys, I am always very fed up when I try to buy them clothes and find nothing but a couple of rails, mainly navy or brown, while there is a plethora of girls' clothes in a myriad of lovely colours. No wonder little boys can be drawn to the sparkly pink stuff, they are bored!
I am also not sure of the thinking that girls will need all this because they are little princesses, whereas the boys are too busy climbing trees in their sludge coloured clothes.
Dressing up as a princess or a fire fighter is a natural part of a child's development, regardless of gender. Buying any child 100 dresses and high heels is something else entirely. As for the ban, I suspect we do not have the full story here from either side. But it sells newspapers,especially sensationalist onesgrin

bikergran Sun 11-May-14 14:35:30

GS whos 7 often puts on DD dressing gown, and comes downstairs in a morning(its bright pink) he has on occasions put his mums bra on over his t shirt (for a joke) but I would and DD would put a halt to dressing up and going school on the stuff that this young boy wears..if he wanted to dress up in later yrs then fine..but no I would not allow it..it is just open to so much teasing and bulllying

thatbags Sun 11-May-14 17:22:38

I think your comments are probably spot on, purpledaff.

annsixty, I hope your GD finds the counselling helpful flowers

jinglbellsfrocks Sun 11-May-14 18:37:52

My dream grandaughter climbs trees in a sparkly pink tutu.

rosequartz Sun 11-May-14 19:47:50

The mind boggles at the sheer cost - these dressing up outfits are not cheap by any means, then add in the cost of shoes and accessories. I would like that much to spend on clothes myself! But not princess dresses, I'm too old, and never liked them amyway.

Nonu Sun 11-May-14 19:56:29

You never ever know * jingle* , Maybe ??
They can spring suprises on us !

smile

granjura Sun 11-May-14 20:49:21

bikergran, I totally agree with you- the mother should realise that it would lead to bullying and making his life difficult. Of course when he is older, that would be a totally different thing. I feel mum and sisters have possibly encouraged him and that it really was a pretty daft idea.

My ex sil also had 2 daughters and then a son quite a bit later. After a very difficult divorce- the girls and her all ended up very anti man, and encouraged little boy to be part of the girl gang- dressing up, etc. At 18, he tried to commit suicide several times, and at 19 had the full man into woman conversion. I always wondered to what extent the situation played a huge part in this?

Nelliemoser Sun 11-May-14 22:26:19

I do think they are entitled to object to high heels where small kids are involved. You cannot play properly with them on and they are not safe to run around in.

Looking at the article though I do wonder what mum's agenda is. It looks as if the the poor lad is being spoilt rotten and that will do him no good at all.

Aka Mon 12-May-14 06:57:41

This matter should have been dealt with quietly and privately, but someone (mother I'm guessing) chose to go to the press. That says quite a lot about this woman.

thatbags Mon 12-May-14 06:58:03

Kids high heels are not very high. I wouldn't buy any for kids of mine but they are not like the ridiculous things some women wear. The ones I've seen juat have a slight heel. I bet the school wouldn't object if a girl wore such to the after school playgroup. Nor to the dresses for that matter. It appears to me that sexist prejudice is at the root of the objections.

I think it's wrong to say that parents shouldn't do things which might cause other, mean people to bully a child. If we all kept to that rule, no-one would ever dare to be a little different from whatever the current imposed 'norm' happened to be. Not a healthy approach to life at all in my view.

I think the mother is right to stick up for him. He's not doing anything intrinsically wrong and neither is she. It's the criticisers and the bullies (if there are any bullies involved; was bullying mentioned or is it only feared?) who are in the wrong.

thatbags Mon 12-May-14 07:01:07

I agree, aka, that any "dealing with" the situation should have been done quietly if possible but I'm not sure there is anything really to deal with. I'm not ready to criticise the mother for taking the story to the press (or for allowing the press to get it out of her for payment). If she felt her child was being treated unfairly I think she's right to shout about it.

DebnCreme Mon 12-May-14 07:36:05

Apologies, I have not read through this thread properly but 100 dresses! There can't be many girls who have that many dresses, I know mine didn't between the three of them. Mostly they wore trousers and doc martens come to think of it smile. sounds a bit as though he may need some male input but not banned.

Iam64 Mon 12-May-14 08:18:04

Purpledaffodil's post sums up my feelings well, that boys and girls dress up as part of growing up.

My main issue with the whole story is the way in which it ended up given such publicity, with so many photographs of this very attractive little boy in his glorious frocks. I agree with others, that it sounds as though his mother is behind the publicity. Any parent who chooses to seek publicity through their children, in this kind of way worries me. It's all a bit excessive isn't it, 100 frocks is potty. I'm all for children having a collection of dressing up clothes, and for children exploring clothes or identities of the opposite gender. It's the publicity, together with the number of frocks, that makes me feel for this little boy and his sisters.