regrets

Thank you, littleflo. So nice of you to comment.

Philip Larkin seemed to understand the value of the ordinary in this poem to a new-born baby girl: I think of often!

'Tightly-folded bud,
I have wished you something
None of the others would:
Not the usual stuff
About being beautiful,
Or running off a spring
Of innocence and love —
They will all wish you that,
And should it prove possible,
Well, you’re a lucky girl.

But if it shouldn’t, then
May you be ordinary;
Have, like other women,
An average of talents:
Not ugly, not good-looking,
Nothing uncustomary
To pull you off your balance,
That, unworkable itself,
Stops all the rest from working.
In fact, may you be dull —
If that is what a skilled,
Vigilant, flexible,
Unemphasised, enthralled
Catching of happiness is called.,

Henetha what a wonderful post. I want to put that up on my wall. love

Sorry, a bit late to this thread and its really got me thinking. Basically (and apologies for any apparent smugness) I don't have regrets BUT that's for a reason: at the age of 40 something bad happened to a family member. It was a great devastating shock. It ended up really shaking me into thinking about my life which I had been just pleasantly sleepwalking through. I made a conscious decision then that whenever I heard or felt myself saying "no" to anything or "I cant do that" or "I`m not the sort of person for that" or anything self deprecating, I would just say YES. I did that and scared myself silly at times but it meant I took up opportunities that I would otherwise definitely not have done. Irritatingly enough it all worked out well and my life really improved but it took a hellish event and a crystal clear conscious decision to make it happen. Non je ne regret rien! (so far anyway!)

The MS Therapy Centre in Edinburgh certainly has physios working independently in their centre and charging each patient. They also have had various therapists working there independently and charging for sessions. They are on the premises with the Centre, and work closely with them, but are self-employed. If you are looking for more reflexology work and have an mstc near you it would be worth asking whether they have a anyone there and if not is there an opening for you. But if you are not looking for more relexology that is not relevant.

I don't know of any rules about having to be a volunteer. Charity shops employ a lot of volunteers, but the manager/ess and the assistant manager/ess get paid. Of course, charities do like volunteers as they don't cost them anything.

I think that if its a charity you have to work voluntary, I used to work for a charity, am still registered as one of the volunteers but work commitments prevent me doing much at the minute.

Ethelbags Is there a Multiple Sclerosis Therapy Centre near you? One of the therapies some of them offer is reflexology, I think on a basis that it is done at the Centre, but people pay the therapist directly. Some also have volunteer reflexologists who give their time free. If you could link up with a centre, you would have somewhere to do your work without the expense and effort of finding your own premises.

You can find out where your nearest centre is from their site at www.msntc.org.uk/therapies.php

Elegran, Im still a reflexologist, I will never give that up. If I could afford a private practice then Id be in my 7th heaven. I trained in therapies while I worked as a market researcher, I went to evening classes. this is the love of my life. I also went to life drawing classes and the best body parts I like painting are portraits and feet. I love feet(not smelly ones mind). I just cant get anyone to have a therapy, those who can afford it go to a posh beauty salon and those who cant either don't have it or hope to get it done on the cheap, no one would pay me the going rate so I do it now for free. If I can help someone I will.

Just been reading about this, ethel.
https://www.futurelearn.com/
I know you say you've done lots of courses, but this seems to be different. University courses, and they are free.

Never let what was or could have been spoil what is or could be.

I've done many cleaning jobs. I did take my own 'Hoover' as it's an Oreck.
One house had the American system where you just plug the hose into the socket and all the dust went to a huge bag in the garage.
No one ever expected that I supply cleaning materials.

Thanks, kitty, wasn't sure!

Agency cleaners bring their own stuff but I provide my own materials etc!

Unless you're employing industrial cleaners, I'd have thought most cleaners of private houses expect the employer to provide the cleaning products (and hoover!)

Also I would have loved to have travelled. Now I do it through the tele. Yesterday I went to Turin with Michael Portillo, it was wonderful.

How do you know that others aren't envious of you? I moan to my brother about my son being a pain at times but he is grieving his sons moving away to university and would love to be surrounded by them on a daily basis. He has a good job as a teacher, his own home, a lovely car, all of which I do not have and he still envies me sometimes. I do not envy anyone. I made my choices and got on with it. I'm not materialistic though, as long as I have a roof over my head and food and warmth, than I'm doing good.

I trained as a nurse in the '80's but gave it up after a while. I have often wondered if I had taken a different path and carried on if I would have made the grade higher up in the profession. Then this week I bumped into an old nurse friend and she came out of it in 2000, saying that she stopped because a doctor got severely assaulted in A & E. This is not a job I would like to have stayed in if that was going to be the case so no regrets there. I went into care work, where I cared for a 25 year old cantankerous lady. But she needed me for emergency personal hygiene at times and even though she could be a grump, she was at least a comfortable grump with my help.

It is very hard to get a decent cleaner. One I tried came with no stuff to do the job. I asked them where there things were, cleaning products, hoover etc., and they said that they would use mine! I had no hoover at the time, hence trying to find someone to help. Needless to say, they left, job not done. I'm still looking for someone.

places to stay that are cheaper than hotels in interesting places

Many universities will rent out rooms in their halls of residence quite cheaply and the rooms can be very nice. The first visit my husband and I had to London, we stayed in the Halls of Residence there and the room was more like a small flat! Very comfortable and it was nice that it had its own kitchen and 'fridge.

How is the reflexology going, ethel ? Have you given that up in favour of the market research, or are you doing both?

I think having doors slammed in your face on a regular basis may be influencing your outlook on life! Time for a career change?
As a market researcher you must have excellent communicative skills, receptionist jobs come up fairly regularly especially if you're prepared to work evenings and weekends. Small shops like someone with a bit of initiative and can be trusted to work alone. Many firms prefer older people now as they have more empathy and put people at ease. Your present job gives you the experience for better jobs - in the dry! And you're not even 60 yet?

Go for it ethel. It's never too late. I had a similar repressed upbringing. Now I've broken free of what's 'right behaviour'. Life is so much more fun.

I think most of us feel like that sometimes, ethel. You have your lovely DD and DGD, and some younger women who have put career before having a family may wonder if they made the right choice in years to come.

I know I could have done more, gone to university and had a more high-powered career, but family came first in the 1970s, and then other stuff got in the way.

If you have a U3A nearby perhaps you could join when you retire - you sound as if you have a good brain which may appreciate being stretched even if you don't feel like doing a university course.
I am older than you and the feeling that I ought to read so-called 'intellectual' books is diminishing as the years go on. I just like to read something I enjoy!
I think I am content now! (most of the time)

People who change their looks with botox, surgery etc often look worse.
I am sure you look lovely as you are!

I was repressed when I was a kid, having to do 'what was right', always behaving, never allowed to giggle or have fun, maybe that's why I am having regrets now, I just feel the need to go out and do something daft. I don't drink much so I cant get drunk, yuk, never smoked cannabis etc. so my wish list has to be something that gives me pleasure without stimulants........... thinking cap going on....

Thank you all again for the lovely comments, Ive not been on for a few days ,as ive been working. Im a market researcher now, I enjoy meeting people and doing surveys on all sorts of weird subjects, I do get down when people are horrid and slam the door on me (im doorknocker). Ive had a thread about cold callers before and accept that its not everyone's cup of tea but it sure hurts when they are rude.
I am so disappointed that I cant retire this year as I had anticipated and now have to work another 6 years in the cold and damp/hot weather so I have to rethink all my plans for the future, to be honest I just like to go home and stick my nose in a book or maybe watch a silly reality tv show like come dine with me - to escape.
I will take your advice, many of you said should make a wish list and I will seek out a new course at the local college. Ive been dying my hair pink in strips (something Ive always wanted to do)despite it sending my elderly mother mad, she is very controlling and I end up doing as she says most of the time as its easier than doing what I want. So to the blank notebook ........... my list of things I want to do in the next ten years, b too b.....y old after that.lol

When I had a guest house, I did all my own cleaning. Does that count as being a cleaner?
The only thing I regret is that my husband died in 2012, and did not live to see his eldest granddaughter get her first class degree.
I have to look back, because that's where I was happiest.

I would like to speak up for cleaners. I am not one myself but have had a few cleaner over the years. My current cleaner has become a really good friend, I rely on her to do what needs doing and I trust her implicitly. We enjoy a good gossip and often text each other with snippets of 'news'. Our family would be totally lost without her so, Ethel and all the other people who work as cleaners - I salute you.