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Upset

(14 Posts)
Janeoakey Sun 03-Apr-16 08:59:34

Hi everyone
Does anyone else feel there children only want them when they want the children looked after I feel really upset about it

Janeoakey Sun 03-Apr-16 09:03:59

How do I change my username

pompa Sun 03-Apr-16 09:16:41

You need to contact GNHQ, they prefer members not to change, but will if there is a good reason.

thatbags Sun 03-Apr-16 09:20:39

email HQ: [email protected]

tiredoldwoman Sun 03-Apr-16 09:23:34

Yes, Jane not so ok ! There's a lot of us on here that sometimes feel the way you're feeling - it passes , it's life - get busy , enjoy your quiet time - the kids will be back ! Get reading and yapping on here , it's comforting that others have the same ( and worse) problems .
It's a dull wet Sunday here , I'll be alone all day but will look at it as a chance to catch up with things . Snow White's on this evening - a reward after my planned work ! Be kind to you .

Luckygirl Sun 03-Apr-16 10:00:25

I think they all lead very busy lives - I am sure that they appreciate the child care that you offer.

I always try to recall how much time I spent with my parents when I was at that busy phase of my life. It was not much!

obieone Sun 03-Apr-16 10:20:27

But didnt you want to? It seems to me that parents' advice is not so welcome as it used to be. Personally I wanted all the help and advice I could get.
Perhaps, with the internet, younger people now get advice from there, or through their peers.
I prefer and still prefer parental advice.

Indinana Sun 03-Apr-16 10:59:50

I'm with you there, obi. I think it's quite sad that young people seem to have moved away from the 'extended family' way of living that was the much more the norm when I was young. I didn't always take my mother's advice, but I was more than happy to ask for it and listen. And I never got in a strop if she made an uninvited comment or suggestion. But that's all I seem to hear nowadays, especially on GN - it's the constant 'keep your lips sealed if you don't want to risk losing them' advice.
Goodness, we would never have cut our parents out of our lives like that, just for giving unwanted advice! And I'm speaking for my siblings and most of my friends in those days. I would have told my mum not to interfere if that's what she was doing, and then put the kettle on for a cuppa! We seriously would not have fallen out over it. I don't like the current 'nuclear family' trend at all.

annodomini Sun 03-Apr-16 11:02:32

No. I hope that mine are not the exception and that the rest of you get an equally good welcome when you visit. DS1 and family took me on several holidays with them and I was never asked to look after the children. DS2 and his partner asked me to cat-sit on a couple of occasions but that gave me a nice little holiday with minimal responsibility. Just once, I looked after the boys while mum and dad went off to a big wedding. I have, as a result, a number of pretty scarves and earrings!

Janeoakey Sun 03-Apr-16 17:38:46

Thank everyone I wasn't sure if I would get any replies they do make me feel better

Janeoakey Sun 03-Apr-16 23:04:15

That sounds so lovely annodomini

absent Mon 04-Apr-16 07:05:31

No, but it is what it is. We can also choose what we do.

harrigran Mon 04-Apr-16 11:37:21

No, I don't feel used. My family are very considerate. I am not well enough to take on all day childcare at present so GC have to go to holiday clubs and they don't like it. I would give my right arm to make them happy and have them stay with me.

Thingmajig Mon 04-Apr-16 13:22:49

I don't feel used as such, but I do think we've allowed ourselves to become too available. SIL is a freelancer so works irregular hours and tends to do very long days. DD teaches a few yoga classes a week and we cover for then when required. This involves an overnight stay ... DGD is dropped off somewhere between 11-11.30 despite the first class starting at 6.30pm!
However the actual babysitting isn't a problem, it's the other times when they (DD & DGD) drop in during the afternoon and hang around till we find some dinner for them. If we've planned on something that won't stretch we have to go out or collect a takeaway.
Is it just me??? confused