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unpleasant neighbour

(27 Posts)
blueskies Fri 17-Jun-16 10:12:32

I have a neighbour D who is just that-I have no other connection with him. A few years ago I found out by accident that he had set up accounts in my name and address. He had stolen my identity. I informed the police and it was resolved but I asked that he not be charged as he is a single parent and at that time the parent of a child with special needs. She is now eighteen and seems to be here only at the weekend. In January of this year I arrived home to find two carrier bags of dog poo on my doorstep. Another neighbour told me he had seen D near my door.
I informed the antisocial team at the Council. They sent a letter to all residents informing them re dog fouling. They advised me to install cameras!
D is the only neighbour with dogs. Each morning I have a large deposit on my front lawn. I have tried everything including cayenne pepper. What can I do?

Luckygirl Fri 17-Jun-16 10:14:55

Take said poo, place in a paper bag, and at a time when your neighbour is at home place the bag on his doorstep, ignite it, then ring the bell. Neighbour will answer the door, see the flames and try to stamp then out - result!!

Nonnie1 Fri 17-Jun-16 10:36:13

blueskies

I think your mistake was not prosecuting him in the first place.

You showed weakness. You gave him a green light.

Have you thought of actually asking the neighbour what is wrong?

I would say to you to get a CCTV camera and record everything he does and go to the police with it.

Next time there is a bag of anything on your doorstep call the police.

Nonnie1 Fri 17-Jun-16 10:37:02

Luckygirl that is arson sad

Nonnie1 Fri 17-Jun-16 10:37:22

A good idea but not a good idea x

kittylester Fri 17-Jun-16 10:37:40

Lucky, I'm shocked!! grin

trisher Fri 17-Jun-16 10:48:44

If you are sure that it is his dog- and I think you would need to actually see the dog performing, dogs are taken for walks by owners and sometimes allowed to wander into gardens,- then you should drop him a note through asking him to deal with the problem. If he doesn't and his dog is still using your lawn I think it is quite reasonable to return the offering in a plastic bag with a polite note telling him you are returning something his dog left behind.

Nonnie1 Fri 17-Jun-16 10:54:25

trisher

It reads to me that there is more to it than just the dog fouling though. It seems like the neighbour is pushing for a reaction, so to ask what is wrong and if there is no decent sort of response, then to get the police involved seems the way forward to me.

I would not touch the bag containing the stuff inside. He could have put some of it on the handle?

trisher Fri 17-Jun-16 11:06:23

Nonnie1 you may be right but there does seem to be a considerable amount of time between the incidents so I wonder if there is more to learn? Also I wonder about the statement that the neighbour is the only person with dogs, he may well be, but people walk dogs in areas away from their home, so it may not be his dog that is responsible. Also if he doesn't know this is happening (He may be one of those who just let his dog out for a run)he can't do anything about it. If there has been more anti-social behaviour then of course a community support officer should be contacted.

blueskies Fri 17-Jun-16 11:06:54

I have one camera installed and am in the process of having another covering the lawn. However why should I have this expense and my home looking like Fort Knox.
I did not want him charged as it was a serious offence and what would have happened to his child if he was imprisoned.
The concern I have is that if I respond or retaliate it will encourage him. He lives yards away from me and I worry what he will do "under the radar" -- what I am not aware of as with my identity.
If you found brown sticky stuff like treacle on the latch of your garden gate would you be a little scared or would you think you are being a trifle paranoid? ( he is a landscape gardener ).
There is no doubt it is his dog -- no others near --and it happens at night.
I am not in the wrong-- I am the victim. Please don't tell me this is my fault. I just want to know what to do. The police are not interested in dog poo and the anti social team offer me "support"!!!

Nonnie1 Fri 17-Jun-16 11:21:59

Then ask him what is wrong. Talk to him. Try being a 'dutch uncle'.

Stay calm. Know what you have to say and don't argue with him. Don't accuse him outright of doing anything, but let him know you know he is doing it.
You want to know why. Get that far and you are half way to putting this right

IMHO

sunseeker Fri 17-Jun-16 11:29:16

If you are concerned about approaching him yourself do you have a male neighbour or relative who would speak to him? Is your garden enclosed (hedge and gate)? If it is and the gate is kept closed then someone is obviously letting the dogs in. Let it be known locally that you are installing the cameras - the thought of being caught on camera may scare him off.

Nonnie1 Fri 17-Jun-16 11:30:42

Agree x

blueskies Fri 17-Jun-16 11:34:05

Nonnie1 I suggested this to the Community Police Officer and have been told to have someone with me recording any conversation I might have with him. I have never initiated any contact. I am well aware of the guidelines issues by Stalking Support Networks. Sick people want/need attention. I really don't need advice on how to deal with him--I've had plenty of that from friends and family--including "sending the lads round". I just need a normal life without any confrontation. I've always been a good neighbour.
I suppose I have reached the stage now when I just want to keep his dog off my lawn--an electric fence has already been suggested!

blueskies Fri 17-Jun-16 11:35:17

Nonnie1 I suggested this to the Community Police Officer and have been told to have someone with me recording any conversation I might have with him. I have never initiated any contact. I am well aware of the guidelines issues by Stalking Support Networks. Sick people want/need attention. I really don't need advice on how to deal with him--I've had plenty of that from friends and family--including "sending the lads round". I just need a normal life without any confrontation. I've always been a good neighbour.
I suppose I have reached the stage now when I just want to keep his dog off my lawn--an electric fence has already been suggested!

Nonnie1 Fri 17-Jun-16 11:39:15

blueskies

I understand. I have always been taught that communication is the key to everything. Without it there is no understanding and therefore no solution.

Sorry if that sounds like 'corporate' talk. If you want to live happily then you have to do something. He's obviously loving the fact that he's upsetting you.

The sticky stuff on the gate? Did that happen?

blueskies Fri 17-Jun-16 11:40:03

sunseeker my sons would be happy to punch him on the nose but that is not the solution and they are not in the country all the time. The camera is visible. My lawn is open plan directly opposite his front door.

blueskies Fri 17-Jun-16 11:41:57

Nonnie1 Sorry but you don't understand. Of course it happened. why are you questioning it?

Nonnie1 Fri 17-Jun-16 11:57:58

I'm not. If he has done that then he's looking for a reaction. don't give him the one he wants.

breeze Fri 17-Jun-16 15:06:00

Sounds like your neighbour may believe 'revenge is a dish served cold'. Him stealing your identity, but you being soft on him because of his daughter, and you thinking it was 'resolved'.... Maybe it wasn't. Think about it. What kind of person does that in the first place. Even though you decided not to prosecute, kindly, because of his daughter; you could check with the police if the incident is still held on record (cautions and minor tickings off are sometimes held for a while). But you need proof he is leaving the bags of dog poop on your doorstep and, it seems, also deliberately allowing his dog to foul your lawn. Cameras are the only answer and I know it's galling to having to pay for it, but your safety is in question here. As he seems to be 'not all there'. So you need to gather evidence. Then present your case. I don't think you should speak to him. Someone who does such a thing isn't right in the head. Don't encourage him in any way.

tiredoldwoman Fri 17-Jun-16 16:21:46

I had poo in my front garden for a while , so started watching . Someone came along the road very soon , allowed their dog to jump over my wall , easing out their extension lead for him to sniff about then poo . Next day , same thing happened , I had my camera ready, banged at the window then took a photo . He whipped the dog back and I never saw them again .

But your neighbour sounds dangerous , I would contact the police again as I think it might escalate .

lionpops Fri 17-Jun-16 18:23:56

You need evidence so cctv and use that with the council. Do not take retaliatory action as some suggest on here or you will be getting the ASBO.
If at all possible lock your gate.

beeelaine Fri 17-Jun-16 18:25:00

Please be careful. Him doing stuff like that is full indication you are NOT DEALING WITH A NORMAL PERSON so always bear that in mind, as things can get way out of control. People come out with advice about bad neighbours but they are not the ones who have to try to sleep at night or deal with confrontations or the consequences. The best way to think about it is imagine the community police officer lives in your home and imagine what would he do? and dont worry the Community police officer knows which party is the nutcase because they deal with this kind of thing all the time.

As for the dog poo issue, speaking from experience here having lived in a few properties is that the only way to stop a dog pooing in your garden is to have it fenced off (and not too low they can casually jump over it and with no gaps big enough for a small dog to get under it or through it) and a gate with a strong spring that shuts by itself so its not left open. If you decide to hedge it then you will need chicken wire and posts running along the bottom of it. Even when you do all of that you still get dirty filthy people chucking bags of poo. However they dont seem to like being filmed while doing it so the cameras will work - but only if you put a little sign. The only other way is to use a strong smelling aromatherapy oil - i once had a garage that was next to a grassed area and they kept pooing at the entrance to the garage so i got a bottle of Valerian (stinks awful) and dropped a few drops here and there and went out every few days, especially after rain, as i was selling my home and the dogs did poo (just further away on the green where there were no drops) - they dont like the smell of it and wont go near it.

Film it and give the footage to the dog warden is my advice - then your neighbour knows you are no longer soft when it comes to his actions and you can let the dog warden take the burden of his happiness (dont worry they are used to it, all part of the job). Good luck x

meadowgran Fri 17-Jun-16 18:46:51

The advice on not interacting with your neighbour at all is in my view correct. There is no telling how he would react and as a criminal he does not have the typical thought processes of a person who accepts social mores and constraints. Do not react at all to the dog fouling other than to have CCTV. It is rotten bad luck to have him as a neighbour but you haven't done anything wrong. You did the compassionate thing in not pressing charges but as my partner frequently says " no good deed goes unpunished""!. If there is no possibility you could move away then record all incidents and use the PCSO to help if they will. It is annoying and costly but perhaps you could look on it as just one of those shares of both good and bad luck that we all get in life. Perhaps good luck will eventually come to you if he commits another crime and gets sent to prison. I do hope the situation improves for you.

Newquay Sat 18-Jun-16 17:52:17

We use Jeys Fluid to keep cats away. Would probably work with dogs too I should think . . . . .
Be careful he's obviously nuts!